TITLE: Stuff Me, Shoot Me, Mount Me 5b

AUTHORS: Zusblue and Esme.

EMAIL: zusblue@yahoo.co.uk & akiyah2000@yahoo.co.uk

DISTRIBUTION: Nummytreats, Slashthemen, m-mslashaholics and Esme's new site http://www.shadows-and-dust.co.uk

SUMMARY: Spike and Xander make a wager that will change the way they think of each other forever.

RATING: NC-17 this part.

DISCLAIMER: All characters are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc. We're just playing with them for a while, we promise to give them back unharmed and relatively sane when we're done. We're not making any money from this.

NOTES: This is a response to an idea from Stephanie Hiding. Spike and Xander make a wager that Spike isn't able to seduce the Scoobies. ALL of the Scoobies.

FEEDBACK: Yes please, but to akiyah2000@yahoo.co.uk for this part. It was Esme that wrote it.


Stuff Me, Shoot me, Mount Me 5B: Denial Is An Admission Of Guilt
by Esme

Xander had just come out of the shower and sat down to a chilled beer and a night of rented porno to forget about what he had just done when the door knocked. There was no surprise when he opened it and found his tormentor standing in front of him with a cocky grin on his face. The vampire strode past him into the apartment. Xander closed the door.

"So, nummy. S'bout time for my next payment I reckon."

Xander handed Spike a beer, and took a swig of his own as he sat down.

"Payment? I'm sorry oh bleached one, but no."

"What-do-ya-mean, *no*?? You're not welching, that was the deal." Spike whined.

"Nope, not welching, I have my own 'little clause' I'd like to add to 'the deal' thank you very much Spike. I'm not as stupid as I look y'know. Thought you could get away with it dintcha Spike? Just come in here and expect me to do stuff, expect me to let *you* do stuff. Well," Xander said, standing up and shrugging his shoulders, "it's not happening that way Spike, so get it out of that pathetic excuse for a brain of yours right *now*"

"OI!" Spike shouted, standing to square off with Xander. "Don't you DARE speak to me like that *mate*, you agreed with the deal, and you weren't complainin' any when I went down on ya were ya? All fuckin' wonderful then wannit? Deny it all you want mate. Denial is an admission of guilt. I *know* you enjoyed it. "

Xander quietened and sat down. Spike followed suit.

"Look, okay." Xander continued, "I liked it, yeah, but I feel like shit cause of it. I can't do this, I'm not gay, you're not sexy, and I'm not just gonna fall into bed with you. You're evil. You've killed people. You don't even like me like *that*, you're just doin' it for kicks so you can blackmail me or something and *I'm* not gonna do it. I *won't* do it. Not without proof."

"Proof? You want proof? Proof of what?" Spike asked.

"Proof of seduction. If I've got to do this -which I will cause we made a deal - I want proof. Proof that you've done it, so at least then, when you run and tell everyone you shagged me, I can keep some respect. They don't respect me enough as it is now, if they find out about this.. they'll. they.."

'Well dint I read you right after all boy?' Spike thought. He's known that this would happen. Xander was more into the idea of them doing this than he'd let on, and sooner or later, Spike knew he'd want some sort of evidence, that's why Spike had got the pictures of Willow taken.

"Fine. If it's proof you want, it's proof you'll have." The vampire put his hands in his pocket and threw the pile of photos he'd chosen onto the table.

"Got Willow yesterday - thought you'd want summat to prove it. There."

As Xander looked at the pictures strewn on the coffee table, Spike couldn't help but feel sorry for the lad. His best friend was in front of him, almost as naked as the day she was born, with an equally naked Spike. The vampire's thoughts returned to the wank he'd had in the alley before the magic box event. How he'd imagined Xander's beautiful face looking up at him while sucking his cock. How he'd imagined coming down his throat, or all over his face, marking him as his own - claiming him. The thoughts made him hard. It was time to quit the wussy crap and get what he came for.

"Payment Xander - tick tock - things to do, scoobies to fuck."

Xander looked up at the vampire and swallowed. Spike had read him like a book. This had been planned all along, and now he was in a worse mess than when he'd fallen for praying mantis lady or inca mummy girl, even worse that when he'd cheated on Cordy with Willow. The same Willow who was now in photos with the vampire who wanted his payment. He swallowed again, and tried to calm his nerve.

"What do you want then? You've done my best friend - who's a *lesbian* by the way. What? You want me to be happy about it? No. I'm not. Just do what you came for and get out. I knew there was a reason I hated you, and I've just remembered what it was - you're a sick fuck."

Spike pouted and moved to where Xander sat. Hiding the hurt he was feeling, he pouted. The boy would be his, and willingly. Rape had never been his scene, that was Angelus' thing. Spike had always preferred the willing type. The innocent. The virgins.

"Don't be like that pet. You know that I know that you *want* me. I can smell it. Hell, I can *feel* it in the air. You're too tense nummy. let me loosen you up a bit."

Spike slid his hand down to Xander's crotch, not surprised to find a lovely erect cock waiting for him. But Xander was unresponsive to his attempts. He pulled back and grabbed the boy by the back of his head. Then kissed him.

Xander tried as hard as he could to not kiss back, but he could feel the coolness of Spike; taste what he had tasted before - the desire, the want - and before he knew it, he was kissing the vampire back passionately.

Spike moved away from his lips and trailed kisses down his t-shirt. Lifting the material, he nibbled on Xander's stomach, and dipped his tongue into the navel. Xander moaned. Spike smiled.

"Want to touch you Xander. let me touch you?"

Xander nodded and Spike kissed him again, sliding his hand under the material of Xander's boxers.

Arching up to the touch, Xander was lost in the feeling of Spike's hand fisting his cock. It was similar to what he had done to himself earlier, but it felt nicer. He heard Spike asking him how good it felt; heard himself answer; felt his own hand gripping Spike's shirt, and the frantic need to feel skin on skin. As if he'd asked out loud, Spike's shirt disappeared. Hot on cool. Skin on skin. Xander moaned again.

"Spike."

His hands found their way to Spike's back, raking his fingers along the muscles there, he felt Spike arch to his touch, and let his inhibitions go. He pushed his hands under Spike's jeans and pulled the vampire closer to him, kneading the mounds of flesh in his palms.

"Touch me Xander." Spike said, releasing his cock from it's constraint. "Touch me. You want to.. just do it."

And Xander did. He took Spike's cock in his hand. Felt his own cock against it as Spike placed the two lengths together. Felt Spike pulling his head back to kiss him. Felt cool then hot fluid spill over his fingers. Heard Spike call him beautiful. Heard Spike say he was amazing.

Felt one more, soft kiss.

Then Spike was gone.