TITLE: I Remember

AUTHOR: Esme

EMAIL: akiyah2000@yahoo.co.uk

FEEDBACK: Yes please. It's a necessity, like chocolate.

WEBSITE: http://www.shadows-and-dust.co.uk

DISTRIBUTION: Fanfiction net. Shadows & Dust (My Site) Anyone else, if you want it, take it, just let me know.

SUMMARY: Sometimes you have to wait for eternity.

WARNINGS: Character death

SPOILERS: None

RATING: PG - 13

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc. The song isn't mine either. It's 'Tell Him' sung by Barbara Streisand and Celine Dion, which is great to listen to, if you're really sad.

NOTES: This is depressing, and short, and fluffy, but I had to throw it together 'cause it wouldn't leave my head alone. / Indicates song. //Indicates memories.


I Remember

by Esme


/Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon shine in his eyes./

"Y'know, I still love you. Till I die I'll love you."

Spike places his hand on the ground in front of him and fists the fresh grass there.

/Reach out to him./

"Brought you some flowers. Know you never liked 'em much when you were. Well, it was always a bit daft want it? Me and you. You and me. Us. Romance. Ha. Pfft."

He lights a cigarette, knowing that this will be one of his last. The sun is nearly up and he can't do it anymore. Just can't go on. Not now. It's too late. He's too old. Nearly 2o0.

"I did try luv. Stayed, and tried. Tried to be who I was when you were here. Tried to feel again. But it was never the same. Not without you. Not with you gone."

He puts his cigarette out and lights another. As he does his hand lightly grazes across his cheek, moistened from the tears that have fallen there. So many tears.

He remembers.

Everything.

The touch. The smell. The life.

His life.

Xander's life.

Their lives.

Together.

He remembers.

/And whisper. tender words so soft and sweet./

"I remember everything." He says aloud, startling himself out of his reverie.

"What do you remember?" He hears the question, recognises the voice, barely a whisper. A symbol of time that haunts him. Knows that if he turns to where it comes from, he will lose this chance. This last chance.

He looks to the ground and speaks, so silently. "I remember you. Your eyes. How they filled my heart with blissful calm. Your touch. It. you, made me feel like I was on fire."

// I love you so much//

//I love you too Spike//

"You completed me. You were. you are. everything I ever was, everything I ever dreamed I could be. "

"It's nearly time Wil' "

"I know, it's just - damn. I was always a bloody awful poet."

"But you wrote for me."

"I did pet. I did."

"You lived for me."

"I did. But now." Spike brings his hand to his face, covers his eyes to hide his sobs. The tears make his skin shine.

"Now it's time. Turn around."

"No. I can't. If I do you'll be gone. I'll be alone."

"You were never alone. I never left you."

"No, you were taken from me."

"I never left you. Turn around. Please."

Spike turns to face his past. His lover. His friend. The sun is slowly rising to his side. Swirls of red and gold show him what he's longed to see.

"Open your eyes Wil'"

He does. Xander is there. His hair has grown. Long dark brown curls fall over his face. He's dressed in white. Like an angel. Pure. Innocent. Beautiful.

Spike looks at him, and Xander's eyes light up as he smiles.

/Hold him close to feel his heart beat./

"Can you give me forever?" Spike asks.

"Yes."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too Spike."

"It's time?"

"It's time."

They embrace as the sun rises. Red and gold rays that used to bring pain, bring peace. Surround them and take them to forever.

Eternity.

/ Love will be the gift.You give yourself. /

end