Title: Rubies, your lips I touched

Author: Zenia

Pairings: Rick/AJ

Summary:  The boys are back

Rating: R

Series: Part One of the “Semi-Precious Stones” series.

Email: ztovarich@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: They’re not mine, never will be.  Please don't sue. 

Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top.

Warnings: There are a couple of them.  First this story has the death of a major character from S&S.  Second, this is an underage!fic which means, sex with a minor.  Third, this is an alternate universe story, a what if story.  Oh yeah, fourthly, this story has incest.

 

Rubies, your lips I touched

By Zenia

 

He was numb.  Not so strange, one doesn’t open the door to a couple of policemen every day.  He opened his mouth to say…well to say something.

 

“Do you know a Cecilia Simon?” the tall policeman asked.

 

AJ swallowed hard. “Yes, I’m her son AJ.  May I help you?  Is it about Rick?”

 

“Is your father at home?”

 

He shook his head. “My father died ten years ago.”

 

The shorter one put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry son, there was an accident.  A drunk ran a red light.  Your mother, she died instantly.”

 

AJ blinked. “Oh.  Would you like something to drink?  Would you…” He walked into the house and sat on the couch.”

 

They followed him. Then the short one asked, “AJ is there someone, some relative we can talk to?”

 

He nodded. “Aunt Edie and Uncle Bud.  They’re not really related but they’ve known us since Rick was a baby.  They live a couple of houses down.  The pink one.” He looked at them. “My mom?  Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sorry, yes.”

 

“I need to call Rick.”

 

“Rick?”

 

“My brother.  He’s working down in Mexico.  He—he—” He let his voice trail off and stared at the carpet.

 

The tall policeman left and after a few minutes Edie and Bud came through the door.  Edie automatically went to him while Bud introduced himself to the other policeman.

 

“Aunt Edie, I need to call Rick.” He was proud that his voice was so steady.

 

“Where is your brother?”

 

“Down in Mexico working in a auto body shop.” Chop shop, Rick told him, but don’t say anything to Mom.  So he hadn’t and he never would.

 

He stood up and walked over to the phone.  He dialed the number slowly.  It had been memorized long ago.  How many times had he called Rick the past few months, just to talk, to hear his voice, to know that he was near.

 

“Hola.”

 

“Hi, can I speak to Rick Simon please.”

 

“Who is this?”

 

“It’s his brother AJ.  Please, it’s important.”

 

“Un momento.”

 

“Yo!  AJ, what’s up?”

 

“Rick?  Rick hi.” He took a deep breath.

 

“Hey, what is it?  You know I can’t talk right now, I’m working.  AJ?”

 

“I—Mom…  Rick I need you to come home.”  He tried to swallow back the tears but it wasn’t working. “Please come home Rick.”

 

“AJ, what’s wrong?  Let me talk to Mom.  AJ?”

 

“I’m sorry Rick.  I’m so sorry.  Mom…”

 

Uncle Bud took the phone from him gently. “Rick, it’s Bud.”

 

Aunt Edie gathered him to her and led him back to the couch. “Come on honey, let’s sit down.” She stroked his hair.

 

“What’s gonna happen?”

 

“I don’t know AJ.  But whatever does, Bud and I will be here for you.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Bud came over and sat down next to them. “Rick’s coming home.  He said he should be here in a couple of hours.  We’ll stay with you until then.”

 

AJ hugged his knees to his chest and closed his eyes.  He remembered when Dad had died.  He remembered being afraid that Mom and Rick would disappear.  They hadn’t, of course.  But now, now there was only Rick.  And Mom had always said that he wasn’t one to stay in one place.  He was like Uncle Ray, and Dad before he got married, always on the move.  Searching for something.

 

He drew a shuddery breath and sobbed.  Aunt Edie tried to pull him into a hug but he resisted her.  He couldn’t, he just couldn’t.

 

“I’m going up to my room.  I’m tired.” He got to his feet slowly and made his way upstairs.

 

Laying in the darkness and staring up at the ceiling helped.  Downstairs, with them, it felt as if he had to put on a show.  It was as if they were waiting for him to shatter.  And he couldn’t, not yet.  Maybe not ever.

 

He curled into a ball and closed his eyes.

 

 

 

He must have fallen asleep because next thing he knew someone was stroking his hair gently. “Mom?”

 

“No Kid, sorry.”

 

AJ opened his eyes and sat up. Rick’s face was smeared with grease. “You’re dirty.  Mom—Mom—Rick, Mom, she’s…. they said that she’s dead.  It can’t be true.”

 

Rick pulled him close, not saying anything.

 

He buried his face against his brother’s neck.  Rick smelled like car oil and dirt.  But he was warm and solid and alive. He began to cry. “She can’t be dead Rick, she can’t be.  She said she was going to the grocery store really quick.  She said she’d be back.”

 

“Shh, I know AJ, I know.  It’ll be all right, I promise.” He rocked him gently and kissed his temple. “Thanks for staying with him.”

 

“You know we’ll do anything to help,” Uncle Bud answered. “Anything.”

 

Rick laughed bitterly. “How about telling me what I do now?  What the hell do I do now?”

 

AJ laid his head on Rick’s shoulder and wiped his eyes.  “How about a shower, you smell.”

 

“Next time I’ll bathe in rose petals.  I had just enough time to pull off my coveralls, wash my hands, and grab my stuff.” Rick squeezed him gently. “Not like I can shower now with you stuck on me like this.  You gonna let me go?”

 

“Nope, never.”

 

Rick looked down at him and frowned. “We’ll figure this out.”

 

“Okay,” he whispered.

 

**********

 

Rick disengaged himself from his brother. “I really do gotta take a bath.”

 

AJ nodded but didn’t say anything.

 

The kid looked wiped, eyes red and puffy, face pale.  But then what did Rick expect?  AJ was the one who had gotten the news first, talking to the cops.  And who knows how they told him.  They had the sensitivity of…well, of cops.

 

He stroked AJ’s jaw with his fingers. “When I get out we’ll take a ride on my bike.  Okay?”

 

“All right.”

 

 

The water felt good against his skin.  He concentrated on it, on the way it relaxed his muscles, cooled him off.  Because it was better than thinking about other things wasn’t it?  About his mother, cold and dead on some slab someplace or AJ who had clung to him like a leech, expecting him to somehow make it all better.

 

How could he when he was just as lost?   His eyes burned with unshed tears.  He had thought about calling her yesterday, to talk to her, to apologize.  Their last conversation had been an argument.  She didn’t understand how he could go six months without calling home or how he could have missed his brother’s birthday.  AJ had been heartbroken.  If he couldn’t be around for her, she had asked, couldn’t he be around for his brother?

 

What was he supposed to say?  That AJ was the reason he had skipped town.  That his little brother was just too beautiful, too innocent, to be near him.

 

She had cried and yelled and he had been gruff.  And by the end of the conversation he had been frustrated and she had been angry.  But now it was too late to apologize and promise to be around more often.

 

It was too late to tell her that he loved her.

 

He turned off the water, realizing that he had been in the shower long enough.  When he stepped out of the bathroom AJ was sitting on the bed, waiting for him expectantly.  He swallowed the lump in his throat and tousled his brother’s hair.

 

AJ smiled at him sadly. “Aunt Edie and Uncle Bud left.  They said if we needed anything to call them.  Aunt Edie said she’d come by later with dinner.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” He slipped into a pair of jeans and grabbed a t-shirt.

 

AJ touched him on the back and hugged him from behind. “What are we gonna do?”

 

“Hey.” Rick turned and tilted AJ’s head.  Then he kissed him gently on the mouth. “We gotta keep it together.  We’ll get through this AJ, just like we did with Dad.”

 

“I don’t think I can.”

 

“You can.  You got too much of Mom in you not to.”

 

Tears flooded AJ’s eyes and he turned away. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s all right to cry.” He tangled a hand in AJ’s hair and pulled him against his chest. “There ain’t nothing wrong with crying.”

 

“You’re not,” he accused.

 

“Give me a minute.” His voice wavered. “I’m still numb.”

 

AJ sighed against his neck. “Promise me you won’t die.  Promise me you won’t leave me alone.”

 

“I won’t die, I won’t leave you alone.  I promise baby, I promise.” Rick ducked his head and kissed his mouth again, quickly.

 

It was stupid, kissing him and holding him like he was but he didn’t know how else to prove to himself that AJ was all right.   And it wasn’t like AJ knew.  He was oblivious to the fact that Rick felt anything but brotherly love and affection.

 

Rick felt dirty. 

 

He pulled away. “C’mon on, I promised you a ride on my bike.”

 

 

AJ clutched him tightly as he zipped through the streets far faster than normal.  It helped, the wind in his face, the speed, and the knowledge that death was a razor’s edge away.  He had danced that edge so many times, taunting death to take him, but it never did.  Instead, it took Mom, Mom who was always careful, who never did anything beyond PTA meetings and baking cookies.  And teaching her kids how to play poker.

 

Rick laughed and then howled.  He was going crazy and he knew it.  But he also knew that it was better to laugh than to cry and never stop.

 

He sped up and for a brief moment he thought about never stopping.  That was it; he would take AJ away from all the grief and responsibility that would follow them in the coming days.   He knew that AJ wouldn’t want that and truth be told, neither did he.

 

He slowed as they came up to the beach and stopped at his favorite spot.  AJ slipped off behind him and fell to the sand.  Rick sat next to him.

 

AJ shook his head, breathing hard. “You’re crazy.  I remember you did the same thing with your bike when we were kids.  Mom would always have a fit.”

 

“Yeah, I know.  It helps.  Well it helps me.  The speed reminds me that I’m still alive.  That—” He turned to look at the water.

 

“I think I’m gonna explode, it hurts so much.” AJ leaned against him. “I don’t want to think about it but it’s the only thing I can think about.”

 

“I know.”

 

AJ put a hand over his chest. “You’re heart’s racing.  I didn’t think going fast would scare you.”

 

He grabbed AJ’s hand. “Lots of things scare me.  This whole damned situation scares me.”

 

“But we’ll get through it right?”

 

Rick looked at him. “We will.”

 

“Together?” He sounded so damned young.

 

“Yeah, together.”

 

“Good.  I couldn’t do it without you.” He squeezed Rick’s hand and held it in his lap.

 

Rick laced their fingers together. “I couldn’t do it without you either.”

 

**********

 

Rick’s hands were warm and callused, oil and dirt under his fingernails.  His grip was strong, sturdy.  He would keep AJ safe, like he always did.

 

AJ had always been Mom’s baby.  Rick teased him about it and though AJ didn’t enjoy the teasing, he knew it was true.  And he had liked it, being able to talk to Mom about everything, knowing that she trusted him, and that he fit a place in her heart that no one could ever get to.  Not even Rick.  He had been her baby.

 

Now he was nobody’s child, nobody’s baby.

 

But he was still Rick’s brother.  He was still Rick’s and that meant something didn’t it?  Belonging to Rick was still belonging to a family even if that family was only two people.

 

He looked at Rick’s face, the deep blue eyes, the bushy mustache, the lips and he felt a warmth flood him.  He remembered the reassuring kisses Rick had given him in their room and he knew that it was the only way to tell him, to let him know they belonged.

 

So he pressed his lips to Rick’s, feeling how soft they were under his.  He shivered, it felt strange, the mustache, but not in a bad way.  Rick grabbed him by the arms and kissed back.  AJ parted his lips slightly and Rick’s tongue entered his mouth.  He let his tongue brush against Rick’s and he felt his body grow hotter.

 

Rick pushed him onto his back, kissing, making little growling sounding in his throat.  AJ touched his shoulders, his neck, his hair, marveling as Rick’s hands traveled over his body.

 

Safe hands, protecting hands…Rick’s hands.

 

They reached low to part his thighs.  He let them, he helped, wanting whatever Rick wanted.  Wanting….

 

Rick stroking his thighs, reaching to touch him, to—

 

Pull away.

 

“No, no, no!” Rick sat up, breathing heavily.

 

AJ scrambled up. “What’s wrong?  What is it?”

 

“This.  AJ, I’m sorry.  I…oh God, I’m sorry.” He reached out to touch AJ but stopped, snatching his hand back.

 

“It’s okay.  Rick.” He grabbed Rick’s wrist. “It’s just us.  It’s just us Rick.”

 

He shook his head and tried moving away.

 

AJ held on. “I love you.  I belong to you.  So you see, it’s all right.  It’s just a way to say it, that’s all.”

 

“I’m your brother.  I’m your brother and you’re fifteen years old.  And dammit, Mom isn’t even a day dead.  You’re confused, I’m confused.”

 

“I’m not confused.  And don’t talk to me about Mom being dead.” He got up and stalked away.

He could hear Rick following behind him.  He quickened his pace. 

 

Rick grabbed him. “You’re a kid.  What I did, it was wrong.”

 

“Wrong.” He laughed. “You wanna know what wrong is?  Wrong is abandoning me and Mom two years ago.  Wrong is visiting twice a year and mailing a postcard once every couple of months, that’s what’s wrong.  Wrong is—is wondering if you’re going to leave me once the funeral’s over.”

 

“AJ this isn’t the way to keep me here.”

 

“It’s not!  It’s being safe Rick, it’s being loved.  I wanna be a part of you.  I’m not stupid, I know incest is wrong and I know I’m just a kid.  But it’s like you speeding around on your motorcycle.  When you kiss me, I feel alive.”  He touched Rick’s cheek. “Don’t tell me you don’t.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you.” He let go of AJ’s arm. “We need to get back.”

 

“I feel like I’m going insane and I don’t know how to make it stop.  Maybe I can’t.  Maybe only you can.”

 

“Aw Kid, I can’t do much of anything.” But he reached out and held him as AJ began to cry.

 

**********

 

He went slower this time, on the way back to the house, but then, there had been enough speed for the day.  AJ kissing him, his reaction to that kiss, well he didn’t want to think about it.  Not when there was so much else to worry about.

 

AJ was quiet after his cry and he wouldn’t look Rick in the eyes.  Not that he could blame him, after he had molested him.  AJ had been confused, kissing him like that.  And even if the kid had wanted it, well dammit, he was only fifteen.  It was up to Rick to keep anything like that from happening, he was the adult, after all.

 

When they got home AJ still didn’t speak to him.  He walked ahead of Rick, hugging himself.

 

“Ya hungry?  I could call Edie or make something.”

 

“No,” AJ whispered. “I’m tired.  I think I’ll go up to bed.”

 

“It’s early yet.”

 

AJ turned to him and glared. “What do you care?”

 

Rick looked down. “Sorry.”

 

He stormed off towards the stairs.

 

“AJ.  I love you.”

 

AJ stopped. “I love you too.  I just don’t like you very much right now.  And the funny thing is, I’m not really sure why.”

 

“Yeah, I don’t like myself much right now either.”

 

“You coming up soon?”

 

“Little while.”

 

“Goodnight Rick.”

 

“Goodnight AJ.”

 

 

With AJ upstairs, probably sleeping, the house was quiet.  Rick sat on the couch listening to the ticking of the clock.  It was the same clock his mother had used to teach him to tell time.  Taught AJ with it too.  Of course, it’d been easier with AJ.  But then the kid had always been smarter. And Rick was never too good at learning his lessons.

 

God he missed her.  Missed the way she smelled, like warmth and home, the way she said his name, and how she made him feel like everything would always been fine no matter what.

 

She had always told him that he could try God’s patience.

 

He remembered once asking her if that was so true then why she bothered with him.  She had looked at him, eyes gentle and said, because I love you and nothing you ever do or say will ever change that.

 

Rick got up and walked to her room.  Her bed was made, hospital corners and all.  He ran a hand over it and picked up a long strand of blonde hair.

 

Then he sat on the bed with a thump, burying his face in his hands. “I don’t think even you can love me after today Mom.  I don’t think anybody could.”

 

And he cried.

 

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