Title: Tin Rings

Author: Zenia

Fandom: Simon & Simon

Pairings: AJ/Janet, m/m kissing

Summary:  Four years of marriage told in vignettes.

Rating: R

Series/Sequel: Yes, Part fourteen of the “Tarnished Metal” series

Email: ztovarich@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: They’re not mine, never will be.  Please don't sue. 

Feedback: Pretty please with sugar on top.

Warnings: Het sex and some incestuous lusting.  While this is primarily a het story it is part of a slash series.  Therefore, look out below.

Notes: Toby is canon, so is the marriage, the breakup, the move to Seattle, and the fact that AJ became a lawyer.  It’s all in the reunion movie.  Watch it if you can get a copy, it’s nice to see the boys together again.

 

Tin Rings

By Zenia

 

For the fifth time since entering the building I wiped my hands on my slacks.  I knew that Rick would be in the office by now, probably wondering where I was.  Usually I made it to the office before him.  But today was different.  This morning I had asked Janet to marry me.  Today I had made steps to…to what?  Be happy?  Be happier?  I don’t know.

 

I walked in the office. 

 

Rick was sitting, feet on his desk, reading a sports magazine.  He looked up at me. “Hey, you’re late.”

 

“Yes, I know.  I had an errand to run this morning.  Actually, I need to talk to you about it.” I took a deep breath.

 

Rick waited.  When I didn’t say anything he frowned and walked over to me. “Are you okay Kid?”

 

“I asked Janet to marry me.” I wanted to blurt out that she had said yes but I couldn’t get the words past my throat.

 

He smiled, sort of sad and resigned. “Congratulations AJ.”

 

“Thank you.  It’s been a long time coming.” I bit my bottom lip. “I know this might be awkward…but I— I want you to be my best man.”

 

“I’d be honored.” He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me forward.

 

I grabbed his jacket and buried my face in his shoulder.  It was all I could do to keep from crying.  I had so many secrets to tell him.  But how?  Then he stroked my hair like he used to.  I opened my mouth and began to blurt out everything.  I told him how I was dissatisfied with the job, about the law courses I was taking at the university.  I told him and all he did was stroke my hair murmuring, I know, I know.

 

I wanted to ask him how, but I already knew.  Sometimes I forget how good of an investigator his is.

 

I pulled away. “There’s something else.”

 

“You’re leaving.”

 

“How—”

 

“It’s in your eyes.  You’ve been looking at me like I’m gonna disappear these past few weeks.  Where, when?”

 

“After the wedding.  Janet got a job offer from the DA’s office in Seattle.”

 

“When’s the weddin’?”

 

“In four months.  She wants a June wedding.  But if you need more time—I know how soon this is and—”

 

Rick pressed his thumb against my lips. “I’ll be fine AJ.”

 

If that was true, why did I feel so badly?

 

“What will you do?   I don’t want to leave you in a lurch.  I—” I was babbling.  I knew it and Rick knew it.

 

“Hey, I’ll manage.  I’ve done it before.” He gently patted my cheek. “Told Mom yet?”

 

“Yes.  She’s thrilled.  I think that Janet was going to go by later so they can start planning it.  I love her so much.” I stared into Rick’s eyes trying to gauge how he was feeling. “You know all you have to do is say a word?  One word and I’ll—”

 

“AJ.  You deserve her.  You deserve all the happiness marriage brings.” He kissed my mouth, gently.

 

**********

 

“Have I mentioned how much I hate tuxedos?” Rick shifted from one foot to another, tugging on his collar.”

 

“Yes, you have.” My fingers were shaking so badly I couldn’t get my bowtie on.

 

“Told you that you shoulda went for the clip-ons.”  He took the tie from me.

 

“I refuse to be as tacky as that.  Especially for my wedding.” I closed my eyes for a brief moment and took a breath. “You have the ring right?”

 

He sighed and patted his pocket. “For the hundredth time, yes.  Relax will ya.  Stop moving.” With swift fingers he tied the bowtie perfectly.  He let his fingers rest on my collar.

 

“I still don’t know how you do that,” I said breathlessly.  I was warm, very, very warm.  And he was so close I could smell his cologne.

 

“Dad taught me.  I must have spent hours practicing when I was a kid.  Never forgot.” He ran a finger along my jaw and stared at me intently.

 

My stomach rolled and I felt myself leaning into him.  His mouth began to descend to mine.  A part of me screamed to turn away but his eyes held mine.  I couldn’t stop it even if I tried.

 

Then there was a knock on the door and I heard our mom call my name.

 

Rick turned away and began to straighten his tie. “Come on in Mom.”

 

“Are the two of you ready?” She was beautiful, glowing.  You would have thought that she was the one getting married.  Looking at her, it was no wonder Dad fell in love with her.

 

“Yes, we’re ready.  Rick?”

 

He turned to me and nodded. “Let’s get you hitched.”

 

Before I knew it, I was standing in front of God and everyone watching her come down the aisle.  She was magnificent in white lace and fabric.  My bride. 

 

My heart was pounding in my throat and all I could hear was the sound of wind in my ears.  And all I could see was her.  Janet.  My Janet.

 

Myron handed her to me with a smile and a pat on my back.  She looked at me, her eyes shining and the priest began to speak.

 

Looking into her face I promised to cherish her, to love her, honor her.  I promised to keep her happy for all the days of her life.

 

And she promised the same.

 

Then the priest said, “The rings?”

 

I turned to Rick.  He held a clenched fist in front him.  I looked into his eyes and for a brief moment I thought I saw all the sadness in the world.  Then he smiled, so happy and carefree that I wasn’t sure that I hadn’t hallucinated it.  He opened his hand and I plucked the ring from it.  On his palm was a deep bruise from where ring had been pressed into his flesh.

 

I wanted to say something to him but before I could he was turning me around and I was slipping it onto her finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

 

Then she took my hand and slipped its mate on my finger. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

 

And I was kissing her.  And I knew joy again.

 

**********

 

She was warm and soft underneath me.  I kissed her mouth, swallowing her cries.  My wife.  She was my wife.

 

“I love you,” I whispered.

 

“AJ.” She bit my bottom lip gently.

 

She tightened around me and I groaned.

 

My love.

 

**********

 

She laughed. “It’s perfect.  I love the house.”

 

I wrapped my arm around her waist. “Does this mean you want it?”

 

Janet kissed me. “What do you think?”

 

“I think we should call the realtor.” I cupped her cheek. “I think—no, I know I love you.  Mrs. Simon.”

 

“And I love you.”

 

**********

 

I placed him, blanket and all, into waiting arms. “Say hello to Toby.”

 

“Oh AJ, he’s beautiful.” She held him closely, cooing at him. “He has the loveliest brown eyes.”

 

He yawned and snuggled up against her chest.  They looked beautiful together.

 

“I think I’m jealous.  I wish it was me there right now.”

 

“AJ!” She hit me softly on the shoulder.

 

“Do you love him?” I stroked her hair.

 

“You know I do.”  Janet smiled. “Where did you get him?”

 

“One of the secretaries at the firm.  He was the runt of the litter.  I saw him and I knew that I had to have him.” I reached over and scratched his head.

 

Toby gave a little whining sound and nuzzled my hand.

 

“He’s precious AJ.”

 

“So are you.” I kissed her forehead. “So are you.”

 

**********

 

I wanted it to be forever.  I wanted it to never end.  I thought that the past would stay the past.

 

I should have known better.

 

**********

 

“I don’t care.  I don’t want him coming to our anniversary party,” she yelled.

 

“Oh and I’m sure it will look wonderful when I invite my mother but not Rick.” I raised my own voice to match hers.

 

“He’ll ruin it.  He did last time.”

 

“Janet he didn’t mean to spike Toby’s water and you know it.  Rick loves him as much as we do.” I wrapped my arm around her. “Honey, please.  It’s important to me.”

 

“Why?”

 

I blinked. “What do you mean, why?  He’s my brother.”

 

“It just makes you miserable when he leaves.  Why is that?  Second thoughts.” Her eyes narrowed.

 

“That’s unfair.” I dropped my arm and walked a few steps back. “I miss him.  I miss my mother too.”

 

“You think I don’t feel the same way when Daddy leaves after a visit?  But I don’t go into a deep depression.” She shook her head. “It’s happening all over again.”

 

“Oh not this again.  I love you; I married you.  I chose you.  What more do you want from me?  I moved here didn’t I, with you?  I’ve done everything you want.  I’ve been everything you’ve wanted me to be.  What the hell do you want from me?”

 

“I want you to tell me that you’ll respect my wishes and not invite Rick Simon to our second anniversary celebration.”

 

“You know I can’t do that.  I won’t do that.” I sighed.

 

“So you’re choosing him over me.  Again.” She turned away from me.

 

“No Janet.  I never chose him over you.  If that were the case I wouldn’t be here now.  This isn’t about him.  He doesn’t even enter into the equation.  It’s about you and me.  It’s about how much you trust me.  Do you trust me?” I grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“Then you won’t mind if I invite my brother to one of the most happiest occasions of my life,” I said through clenched teeth.

 

She wasn’t happy about it, that was obvious.  But she pressed her lips together and nodded her head.

**********

 

She kissed her way down my body, licking my thighs.  I parted them, trying to keep the memories of another lover from my mind.  Trying not to remember how he loved me, how he touched.

 

Janet took me into her mouth, caressing me with her lips and tongue.  I grabbed at the sheets, pressing my lips together to keep from whispering the wrong name.

 

I love her.  I love her.  God please, I love her.

 

My body tightened at the suction.  Intensity, exploding, and then nothing.

 

“You’re bleeding.” She touched my mouth.

 

I shook my head and pulled her close.  I kissed her roughly, trying to reach inside of her that place that would make me forget.

 

I love her.

 

**********

 

It was nothing really, a property dispute.  I didn’t need to ask Mark’s advice on it.  But I liked him and the only time I ever had to talk to him was at work.  Janet loathed him from the moment she laid eyes on him.

 

Maybe it was his penchant for cowboy boots, or the way he called her “darlin’” or maybe it was the fact that he reminded both of us, of Rick.  Rick who I had only seen perhaps five times in the past three years.  Rick, who was always conveniently busy or gone when it came time for visits.

 

“So why the hell did you become a lawyer anyway?” He smiled at me, patting me gently on the back.

 

“What do you mean?  It’s all I’ve ever wanted to be, I just got distracted along the way.” I shrugged.

 

“Come on, from what you’ve told me you had a blast as a PI.  Now you’re doing litigation for a couple whose neighbor is building a fence on their property.  Sort of a let down, wouldn’t you say?”

 

“Maybe.  But a whole lot safer too.  Do you know how many times Rick and I had been beaten, shot at, tied up?  Besides I’m a married man now.”

 

He snorted. “Married, not dead, Kid.”

 

I stared at him.

 

“What?  What did I say?” He looked down at himself.

 

I swallowed hard. “That’s—that’s just something Rick would say to me.”

 

“Ah yes, the infamous brother.  Did you get a chance to see him when the two of you went down for Christmas?”

 

“Yes, he came by for Christmas dinner, but he had to leave.  He does that a lot.” I shook my head. “I should finish this.  I don’t want to be caught unawares in court tomorrow.”

 

Mark grabbed my chin. “Are you happy AJ?”

 

I smiled. “What do you mean?”

 

“I don’t know.” He frowned at me. “Things okay with you and Janet?”

 

“Fine.” What was I supposed to tell him, that we had been fighting more and more as the months passed?  That she was being consumed by work and I was unhappy.

 

He leaned forward as if to tell me something and before I knew it we were kissing.  His mouth sucked at mine, his hands pulling me against him.

 

I let him.  I closed my eyes, pretending for a moment, allowing my body to be deceived.  Then his hand reached for my belt.

 

I pulled away. “No.”

 

“Why not,” he asked, breathless.

 

“Because I’m married.  Because I love Janet and I respect her.  Because—” Because you’re not who I want.

 

“I’m sorry.  I thought—I’m sorry.” He stood up and before I could say anything, he rushed from the room.

 

“So am I.  Ah Mark, so am I.”

 

**********

 

 “This was supposed to be our vacation Janet.  Can’t you tell the DA that you can’t do it?” I paced in front of her.

 

“No AJ, I can’t.  This is an important case.  This could mean a promotion for me.  You can still go on the cruise.”

 

“It’s a couples’ cruise Janet.  If I went by myself it would defeat the purpose.” I cupped her face in my hands. “Tell Bill you can’t do it.  We’ve been planning this cruise for months.”

 

“Try and understand.  If it was you—”

 

“But it’s not me.  It’s never me.” I leaned against the wall. “This cruise is important Janet, you said so yourself.  We’re drifting apart.”

 

“We could postpone it.” She put her hands on my shoulders.

 

“Postpone it?  Along with our marriage?” I hugged her. “Is this case more important than us?”

 

“This could mean so much for my career.”

Her career. 

 

That was when I knew it was over. “Your career is more important than our marriage.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.” She hesitated. “I really want this case.”

 

“Even at the expense of our relationship?”

 

She laughed. “What relationship?  We see each other about two hours everyday.  When we get ready for work in the morning and right before we go to bed at night.  Even when we make love, you’re not there.  You’re someplace else.”

 

“And you are?  You don’t even make an effort anymore Janet.  I try talking to you and it’s, ‘Not now AJ, I’m busy.  Later AJ, all right.’  It’s not just me.”

 

“No, I suppose it’s not.  I still love you AJ.  But I don’t think I’m in love with you.  Not anymore.  And don’t think you’ve ever been in love with me.”

 

“That is not true!”

 

Her eyes softened and she sighed.  Then she put her hand over my mouth. “It is.  It’s not your fault.  You didn’t know.  I thought I could make you fall in love with me.  I thought I could change what you felt.  I’m sorry AJ.  I’m sorry I couldn’t.”

 

“Janet, I did love you.  I do love you.” I hugged her.

 

She whispered in my ear. “It’s not enough.  We can’t give each other what each of us needs.  I don’t think we ever could.”

 

“Then it’s over.  Again.”

 

“Yes.” She began to sob.

 

I felt her tears against her neck, felt my own on my cheeks.  I failed.  I had wanted to give her what she needed and I failed.

 

“I love you.  And I’m sorry too.” I rocked her gently.

 

God, I’m so sorry.

 

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