Title: Platinum Hearts

Author: Zenia

Pairing: Rick/AJ

Summary:  AJ gets an offer that he doesn’t want to refuse.

Rating: NC-17

Series/Sequel: Yes, Part three of the “Tarnished Metal” series

Email: ztovarich@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: They’re not mine, never will be.  Please don't sue. 

Feedback: Please, I’m such a feedback slut.

Warnings: Incest and sex between two men. 

 

 

Platinum Hearts

By Zenia

 

He slipped under the sheets, fresh from the shower and trembling.  He kissed me, hard, sucking at my mouth.  I pulled him to me, stroking his back, trying to calm him down.  His skin was clammy and it seemed like he wanted to push himself into me.  He broke the kiss and buried his face against my neck.

 

“I love you,” he said in a choked voice. “I’m in love with you.  And I can’t Rick, I can’t.”

 

“Can’t what?” I rubbed my cheek against his hair.

 

“I need you.  What’s wrong with me?  What’s wrong with us?” He kissed me again, kissed me so hard that I tasted blood.

 

There was nothing I could think to say.  I didn’t think it was wrong but he had to come to his own conclusions about it.  I just let him kiss me, let his hands touch me.  The kid would break my heart someday.  Maybe as early as tomorrow.

 

He pulled back a little so our lips barely brushed. “What are we going to do Rick?”

 

I wanted to tell him, make love, kiss, be happy.  I wanted to tell him I didn’t know.  Instead… “You’re gonna get dressed and you’re gonna go home.”

 

“I can’t.” His eyes looked haunted, like he was living in a nightmare.

 

“Yeah you can.” I touched his cheek. “Just get up and get dressed and don’t look back.”

 

AJ shook his head, his hand reaching down to cup me. “That’s not what you want.”

 

I bit back a moan. “Don’t matter.”

 

“It does.” He squeezed gently. “It matters.”

 

I grabbed him and rolled him over so he was underneath me. “What do you want AJ, what do you want?  You don’t want to be with me or it wouldn’t be hurting you so much.”

 

He turned red. “I want you to touch me.  I want you to—to make love to me.”

 

“No.  Damn it Kid, you got me all twisted up inside.” I moved off him and sat at his side.

 

“Now you know how I feel.” He sat up and hugged himself. “What do you want from me?  I don’t want to love you like this.”

 

It would have hurt less if he had stabbed me in the gut. “Then don’t love me.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I don’t mean…. you’re my brother, of course I love you.” He pressed his cheek against my shoulder. “You’re the best thing in my life.”

 

“AJ.”

 

“Tell me how to feel Rick.  Tell me it’s all right.” He looked up at me, eyes wide, needing me to tell him it was okay to love me like this.

 

It wasn’t fair.  What the hell was I supposed to do when he wanted me to tell him everything was okay?

 

I touched his chin with my fingers, tilting his face up.  I kissed his forehead, his eyes, and then his mouth. “It’s all right.”

 

He melted into me, moaning softly.  I pushed him down onto the bed, my hands stroking the insides of his thighs till he parted them.  I slid down, kissing his belly, feeling his hands in my hair.   He tasted so clean and warm, skin so smooth against my lips. 

 

I kissed the tip of his penis, making him cry out, enjoying the taste of bitterness on my tongue.

 

“Rick, Rick.” He tugged at my hair.

 

I moved upward so we were face to face. “Yeah?”

 

“Make love to me.”

 

I smiled. “I am.”

 

“No, no…” He shoved me off then turned over on his stomach.  He pressed his face into one arm, clenching the pillow into his fists. “I want you to make love to me.”

 

“AJ, I don’t—”

 

“Please.” He was shaking. “Please Rick.”

 

I reached out and stroked his back; he shivered.  He was perfect, naked and wanting and how could I not?  I pulled off my clothes and reached into my night-table drawer for the lubricant I kept just in case.

 

I put some on my fingers and began to massage it into his opening.  He started to make little moaning sounds, hips starting to rock against the mattress.  I slipped a finger in thrusting gently.

 

“Oh.” He pushed back against my finger. “That’s, that’s nice.”

 

I pushed in another one, and then another, letting them brush up against his prostate.  It drove him crazy, crying out my name, shoving back against me then forward into the mattress, like he couldn’t decide which way he wanted to go.

 

I had him so wild that he didn’t even care when I finally slid into him.  He just sobbed my name.  I thrusted into him, so tight and hot.  I ran my hands over his chest, pinching his nipples.  Then I let one travel lower till I had him in my fist, pumping him.

 

He bucked, spilling into my hand, his body tightening around me.  I pressed my face into the back of his neck and whispered his name.

 

Afterwards he let me hold him, stroke his hair, and kiss his mouth.  Neither of us said anything for a long time.

 

It was AJ that finally broke the silence. “Myron got transferred to San Diego.  Did I tell you that?”

 

“No, you didn’t.” I looked down at him.

 

He ran his fingers across my chest. “Do you ever think about going back?”

 

“To San Diego?  Not really.  Why would I, you’re here.”

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” He sighed then settled back against the pillows. “Goodnight Rick.”

 

“Goodnight AJ.”

 

*****

 

He lay back against the sheets, his fingers playing in my hair as I kissed his chest and throat.  Every night for five months we spent together in bed, happy.  Mostly anyway.  It was only in the light of day, surrounded by people I could see the unhappiness in his eyes.  So when we were together I tried to pleasure him as much as possible, make him exhausted and happy. 

 

“Rick?”

 

“Mm hmm.” I licked his throat, making him shiver.

 

“I got a call from Myron the other day.” He stroked my ears. “He wants me to come and work in the San Diego office.”

 

“Nice.” I worked my way along his jaw.

 

“I said yes.”

 

I stopped and looked at him.  “You what?”

 

He looked away. I could see the unhappiness again. “I said yes.  I’m transferring to San Diego in about month.”

 

I moved away and sat on the edge of the bed. “And when you say Myron called you the other day, that was…”

 

“Two months ago.”

 

“And you’re tell me now?” I laughed.

 

“Rick.” He came up behind me and kissed my shoulder.

 

“Stop.” I jerked away from him. “Get dressed and get out.”

 

“Don’t be angry.  Rick I need this, I need to be away from you for awhile.”

 

“Why?  Because I seduced you into bed?”

 

“Because I don’t know how much of this,” AJ touched my mouth with his fingers, “is love and how much is obsession.  When I’m with you, I can’t help myself.  I can’t think.  It’s not fair to you that I’m unhappy all the time, that I have doubts.  You deserve better than that.”

 

“All I want is you AJ.” I kissed him.

 

“And in here, in this bedroom, all I want is you Rick.  But I can’t live in this bedroom and neither can you.” AJ crawled off the bed and started pulling on his clothes. “I’m sorry.”

 

I jumped up and grabbed him. “It won’t go away.  It’s not some damned disease.”

 

“I told you I couldn’t.  All those months ago, I told you.” AJ shook his head. “You said it was all right, but it’s not.”

 

“So it’s my fault?”

 

“No.” He wrapped his arms around me. “It’s mine.  You gave me the chance to go and I didn’t.  Give me time to be sure about this.”

 

“You’re not being fair.” I kissed the top of his head, feeling the silkiness of his hair against my lips.  How could I let him go when I loved him so much?  How could I not?

 

“We’ll give it three months.  We—”

 

“Shut up.” I covered his mouth with mine and started to undress him.  He sighed and ran his hands over my chest. 

 

This time I wasn’t going to give him up without a damned fight and if he thought I was, then he was a fool