Slash and incest warning

 

Semi-Precious Stones Series: Part 10

 

Jaded

By Zenia

 

He was naked.

 

That was the first thought he had when he opened his eyes in the dark of the room.  Rick was staring at him.  It made AJ’s stomach flutter and his nipples tighten into hard little nubs.  They had made love.  Rick had touched him, loved him, without being drunk or sad or angry.

 

And he had loved Rick, held him in his hands and gave him pleasure.

 

AJ squirmed and smiled. “Hi.”

 

Rick didn’t smile back. “Hi.”

 

“What time is it?”

 

“Almost three-thirty.”

 

“Oh.” That was strange; he didn’t feel tired.  He put a hand on Rick’s chest, running his fingers through the coarse hair. “Do you think I’ll every have chest hair?”

 

Rick shrugged. “Probably not.  Dad didn’t.”

 

AJ leaned into him, enjoying the feel of Rick’s body against his. “You feel good.”

 

“Yeah.” He ran his hands down AJ’s back.

 

Rick was naked too, wonderfully naked.  It made him shiver and his pulse race.  It made him breathe hard.

 

“Rick?” AJ pressed a hand to his cheek.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you--do you want to make love again?” He felt his face warm.  He wasn’t really sure a person was supposed to ask.  Could you ask or were you just supposed to fall into it like in the movies?

 

“You should sleep.  You got school tomorrow.” Rick kissed is forehead.

 

AJ wished he’d stop doing that, it made him feel like a kid.  And it really wasn’t the kind of kiss he wanted. “I don’t have to go to school tomorrow.”

 

“AJ, you already missed a couple of days last week.”

 

“You don’t want to make love?” He pulled back.

 

Rick frowned at him. “I’m tired, I’m not as young as you.”

 

That made him laugh. “An old man at twenty.  I don’t believe you.”

 

Rick poked him in the belly. “What do you know?”

 

“I know I want to make love to you again.”

 

“You got a one track mind.  Go to bed, I’m not going to have you falling asleep in class.” He pushed AJ onto his back and tucked him in. “We have plenty of time.  I’m not going anywhere.” Then he settled next to him and closed his eyes.

 

AJ sighed and snuggled close to his brother.  Rick smelled safe, made his stomach feel weird, all hot and queasy, not like he was going to be sick but like he was explode from being too happy.

 

Rick still hadn’t said forever, but he would.

 

**********

 

AJ looked at himself in the mirror.  It was strange, he expected to look different.  More mature or…he didn’t know, just different.  Except for the hickey on the side of his neck nobody would be able to tell. 

 

“AJ, you’re gonna be late!”

 

“I’m coming,” he yelled down.  Then he buttoned his shirt and hitched his collar up.  He ran down the steps, skipping the last two with a jump, and made his way into the kitchen.

 

“Hungry?” Rick was wearing ratty jeans and an old t-shirt.

 

“Nah, I’m okay.” He grabbed an apple from the bowl on the table. “What’re you doing today?”

 

“I’m helping Carlos paint his house so I’m gonna be home late tonight.” Rick lifted his arms and stretched.

 

AJ let his eyes linger over Rick’s stomach and chest.  He walked over to Rick and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Are you sure we couldn’t stay home today.”

 

Rick smiled down at him. “You have school today and I promised Carlos.  You’ll survive, I promise.”

 

He tilted his head for a kiss.

 

Rick pressed his lips to his nose and moved from his embrace. “You need a ride to school?”

 

AJ sighed. “No, I’ll take my bike.  I love you.”

 

“Yeah me too.” Rick tousled his hair, grabbed his keys and walked out the door.

 

**********

 

He came home to an empty house.  He was sort of glad because it gave him time to think about stuff.  It had been really hard at school, having to hide what he and Rick had done together.  His friends had noticed the hickey, he knew they would.  He wanted to tell them so much that he thought he’d go insane.  It made a lump come to his throat because he couldn’t.

 

And it would always be this way, hiding, never telling anyone.

 

That hurt but not enough that he wanted to stop.

 

He did his homework in the almost silence of the house.  The sounds of the neighborhood pierced through the walls: kids playing outside, an ice cream truck, and cars driving down the street. Afterwards he made himself a sandwich for dinner and watched some television.

 

How long did it take to paint a house anyway?

 

When Rick got home about seven his clothes were streaked and his arms spotted with white paint.  He also looked dead on his feet.

 

AJ looked up from his position on the floor. “Are you okay?  You look wiped.”

 

Rick nodded. “I’m all right just tired.  Like you said, wiped.”

 

“Well why don’t you go on up and take a shower.  I’ll make you something to eat.  Then you can get to bed early tonight.” AJ scrambled to his feet.

 

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

By the time AJ had Rick’s meal of soup and a sandwich, he was downstairs sitting at the table.  AJ came up behind him and put his hands on Rick’s shoulders. “You’re tense.  Did you and Carlos finish the house?”

Rick leaned back so that he was looking up. “The outside.  We still need to do the inside tomorrow.  How was school?”

 

“It was okay.” He brushed the hair from Rick’s face.   Then he started to bend his face downward.

 

Rick looked back down at his food. “This is good.”

 

“Yeah.” He turned and began cleaning the mess on the counter.

 

“I think I’m going to bed, I’m too tired to eat.  Can you lock up down here?”

 

AJ kept himself faced towards the wall. “Sure.  Goodnight.”  Rick brushed his back as he walked past him.

 

He gave his brother fifteen minutes and then followed him upstairs.

 

Rick was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling.

 

He stripped to his underwear and joined him.  AJ moved his hand in slow circles against Rick’s stomach and kissed his jaw.  Rick tasted like sweat and warmth.  He had felt out of sync with Rick all day, maybe this--maybe this would…

 

“AJ, don’t.  I’m tired and sore and I really don’t want to make love tonight.”

 

“Oh…okay.” He pulled back, stung by his words.

 

“Good night.” Rick closed his eyes and turned away.

 

“Yeah, okay.” AJ blinked back the tears in his eyes and laid a hand on Rick’s back.

 

**********

 

AJ leaned against his mother’s bureau and stared at himself in the mirror.  Maybe Rick wanted a girl.  He touched his cheek and tilted his head.  When he had woke up this morning he had been alone.  Rick had moved to the other bed.

 

He was in bed now.

 

AJ had tried again, tried kissing him, touching him.  But it was always, not now AJ, I’m tired.  Stupid jerk.

 

Rick liked girls, he always liked girls.  Maybe he thought it was a mistake.

 

He picked up a tube of lipstick and pulled off the cap.  Red.  He smeared it on his mouth.  It felt strange; it made his lips feel plump.  Weird.

 

“At least you’re not wearing Mom’s pearls this time.”

 

AJ dropped the lipstick and turned toward the doorway. “I thought you were asleep.”

 

Rick shrugged. “What’re you doing?”

 

“I--I thought maybe…I was curious.” He shifted from one foot to another; rubbing his nose with the back of his hand to hid the flush he knew had spread across his face.

 

Rick walked across the room so he stood right in front of him. “Curious is looking at the lipstick, this is--”

 

“Sick,” he blurted.

 

He grabbed AJ’s chin. “Kinda pretty on you.”

 

“I’m not pretty.” AJ pushed his hand away. He went back to the bureau and wiped his mouth with tissue.

 

“It’s late.”

 

“So.” He looked at Rick reflection in the mirror.  It would be easier to ask this way. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“Huh?” When Rick was confused his nose wrinkled up and his eyes went blank.

 

“Did I not touch you right?  Did I--I thought that since you came that I did it right.” AJ bit his lip. “I can learn to do it right.  Did you want me to put it in my mouth?  I know you said not to, but if you really did…I can.”

 

“AJ.” He was talking in that quiet, serious way he saved for when someone died or was hurt.  He touched AJ’s shoulder.

 

“Do you regret it?” He looked into Rick’s mirror eyes.

 

“I don’t know.” With gently hands he turned AJ around. “But kid, what I feel has nothing to do with what you did or what you didn’t do.  You were wonderful.”

 

“All I did was jerk you off.”

 

“All you did was make love to me.”

 

“Then why don’t you wanna do it anymore?”

 

Rick ran his thumb across AJ’s cheek. “I really am tired and sore.”

 

“It’s more than that.” He grabbed Rick’s hand, holding it tight in his fist.  Then he pulled Rick over to the bed so that they were standing over it. “It’s an old bed.  You and I were made in that bed.”

 

“Yeah.” Rick was looking down at it too.

 

“They loved each other there, they created something, two somethings.” He smiled. “I remember the way they used to look at each other with love in their eyes.  How they used to draw us in.  Most of the time.  Sometimes it was just them.  I didn’t mind though, ‘cause I’d look into your eyes and know we had something special too.  Something they could never know.  Do you love me?”

 

“I’ve loved you since before you were born, when you were just a promise inside Mom’s belly.” Rick brushed AJ’s temple with shaky fingers.

 

“I want to make love on this bed and I don’t want you to regret it.” AJ turned his head and kissed his fingertips.  He stepped back and stripped out of his clothes.  When he was naked he crawled into the bed.

 

Rick followed.

 

They kissed, making slow, wet, smacking sounds, Rick’s tongue teasing his with gentle licks.  AJ pressed his body close, gasping when he felt his brother’s hard-on against his stomach.  

 

Rick pressed him back against the bed, hands running down his sides.  He parted AJ’s thighs with his knee.

 

AJ sighed and wrapped his legs around Rick’s waist.  They were making love. He ran his hands down his brother’s back then up again, moaning as Rick began to thrust against him.  He had heard that making love was like going crazy, that you lost control of yourself but he knew now that wasn’t true.  It was brightness and clarity.  It sharpened pleasure and love so that he was gasping in Rick’s ear.

 

This was love, this sticky, hot, messy thing was love and it was wonderful.

 

And as he came, he said the words he wanted to say, “Till death do us part.”

 

Rick laid his head on him, panting against his chest.

 

AJ ran his fingers through Rick’s hair. “I don’t want you to regret it.  It’s okay here; it’s okay to love.  We were made in this bed.  We were made.”

 

He looked up at AJ. “I’ll always love you kid, forever.”

 

He smiled at that, his heart hurting.  It was the promise he had been waiting for…forever

 

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