Title: Now What?

Author: kirasmommy

Pairing: Remy/Hank

Fandom: X-men (comics)

Disclaimer: don't own them, don't make money off of them

Warnings: consent issues kinda, no beta, written years ago, humor

Summary: Wrote this for a challenge that was issued on a website. Basically from what I remember (hey it was years ago damn it) All the X-men were supposed to get revenge for Gambit's continued flirting. Or something to that effect.


Now what?
By kirasmommy

The X-men sat in the living room watching a little TV, nearby a fire crackled cheerfully. Gambit had just left for a night on the town and the remaining men were left to sit brooding. "Gumbo, best learn to control that charm power of his." Wolverine toyed with his cigar.

Hank a.k.a. Beast looked up. "Indeed, in conjunction with his nature to flirt it may well land him in more than his share of trouble."

Bobby glanced up, from the television just long enough to add, "Yeah and he isn't even picky about who he flirts with."

Warren nodded, "That's true he even flirted with me this morning."

"You too?" was sung out in a chorus.

Logan bit the end off his cigar before saying, "Gentleman...it looks like we need to deal with him."

Hank pondered, "Indeed we must turn him from his disastrous path...for his own good. Are there any ideas as to how best we may manage this problem?"

The men sat and thought about it, "I could fill his underpants with ice." Bobby volunteered.

While it sounded like a good idea, Hank brought up that a case of frostbite down there would only serve to make his life harder as he would be forced to treat it.

"Hmm so me slicing it off for him is out of the question also?" Logan smirked. Hank answered with an annoyed look.

Bobby snapped his fingers then shook his head and muttered, "never mind"

"What? It can't be any worse than what we've come up with so far." Angel said.

"Have you ever heard the expression don't dish it out if you can't take it?"

"Yeah."

"Let's see if ol' Gambit can take it."

Logan lit his cigar finally; "I like how you think."

They sat down to wait, "I need a beer or six for this!" Logan said going into the kitchen. The others shouted after him, "Bring some back for us!"

They drank liquid courage as they watched the clock. "We're just going to scare him." They chuckled to themselves.

Around 1:00am they heard the big Harley pull up the drive. And many of the X-men were more than warming up to the idea. They stumbled to their places. Gambit knew something was up as soon as he walked in. There was an electric charge to the air. As he opened the door up to hang his coat in the closet he was surprised to find Iceman waiting for him inside. He was even more surprised when said Iceman pulled the Cajun into the closet and shut the door. As the door shut he thought *Now what?* "Uh mon ami? What you be doin ta Gambit?"

In the dark he couldn't see Iceman smile as he said "Shut up you aren't allowed to talk!"

Gambit only got "Wha...?" before Bobby sealed his mouth with a kiss.

As he came up for air Gambit gulped, "You been drinking!"

Bobby laughed, "Yeah but I decided to do this before I got drunk!" He started undoing the buttons on Gambit's shirt.

"Non...you don want to do this." He started to try and untangle himself from the frosty x-man. But it was as though Bobby had grown about five more hands. Hands which kept ending up in unexpected places. He was half tempted to give in when Bobby started to kiss his neck but kept his resolve and continued to try to exit the door.

A knock on the door brought a sigh of relief from the Cajun after about ten minutes of fighting off the advances of the horny Bobby.

"Mon Ami I am glad to see you." He said to Hank as the big blue scientist opened the door, his heart stopped when Hank turned to Bobby and said, "Times up it's my turn!"

"Ah but I didn't even get him out of his clothes yet! He kept moving too much!"

"Not my problem O' man of Ice. Move!"

"Can I at least stay and watch?" During the whole exchange Gambit could only stare and gape.

"Oh very well, Gambit shall we retire to my room?"

"Huh?" He said weakly.

"Hmm, you have a point I was not allotted that much time. Bobby move over." Gambit jumped back as Hank reached for the zipper on his pants. "Oh, come now, let us not be silly I haven't much time before it is Wolverine's turn."

"Wolverine's turn?" He whimpered slightly as he pressed himself against a corner.

"Come, come, you are wasting time!" The furry blue beast closed in on Gambit and captured his lips in a dizzying kiss that left him breathless. Gambit had to admit to himself that he loved the way Beast kissed. He struggled less as Hank reached down and started stroking him. He was breathing hard when another knock was heard at the door.

Beast and Iceman both sighed as they opened the door, "We should have agreed to more time. " Beast said as Wolverine entered.

Wolverine snorted, "Shoulda, Woulda, but Didn't! Move it boys!" He picked up the taller X-man and put him a fireman's carry as he carried him out the door. The sight was funny as he carried him up the stairs as Gambit could almost touch the floor with his hands if he leaned far enough over.

"Hey! Can we come up too?" Yelled Bobby.

Wolverine didn't answer as he climbed the stairs. "Well, that wasn't a no," reasoned Iceman, and Beast agreed as they ran up the stairs following the two men.

Wolverine threw Gambit onto the bed and straddled him. "Don't move around so much Gumbo!" Logan growled as he undid the rest of his shirts' buttons.

"Umm, I don know about this Mon ami.." he said as he tried to re-button the buttons as Logan was undoing them.

"Nonsense my good man, as they say relax and enjoy!" Beast spoke up from the doorway.

"Help!" Gambit squeaked from the bed.

"Hmm, not a bad idea, Wolverine would you mind a bit of help?"

Wolverine stopped a second as he considered it with an exaggerated expression, "Mmm I guess so. He's making undoing his clothes difficult. I would cut them off but he looks too good in this outfit to ruin it permanently."

"Agreed." Beast said as he advanced to the bed with a fairly skipping Bobby close behind.

Beast positioned himself behind Gambit and held his wrists in a gentle yet strong embrace as both Logan and Bobby worked on the tight jeans. Gambit leaned back against Hank as they did so, marveling at how soft his fur was. Hank wrapped his arms around Gambit releasing his wrists as he nibbled on his neck and ear as one of his hands strayed down to his groin. Hank started a steady stroking motion.

Gambit started moving under his grasp. He pressed himself closer to Beast. Nearby Bobby and Logan were watching intently. "Ya think they want to be alone?" Logan asked drinking a beer from his apartment size fridge.

Bobby sighed, "Looks like it. Hey? where is Warren?"

Logan smiled, "I don't know but I would sure like ta find out."

Bobby grinned, "I like how you think."

As they left Beast stood up, and came around Gambit's front pushing the non-protesting Cajun onto the bed on his back. His lips found his once more and had Remy gasping for breath.

"You good at dat." he breathed as Hank continued down his neck onto his chest. Remy gasped out loud as Hank found one of his nipples and teased it with his tongue.

"Oh mon dieu!" he sighed as the tiny nub got hard as a pebble. Hank's hand never left its work as it stroked him. He switched to the other nipple to give it equal attention and Remy felt dizzy as Hank gently sucked. His stomach started quivering as Hank continued down his stomach and onto his pubic area finally coming to the part of the body where all sensation seemed to lead. Hank took him into his mouth as his hand went lower to stroke the sacs. He felt them tighten, as he knew Gambit's moment was fast approaching.

His tongue circled the head and flicked at the opening sending poor Remy over the edge of the abyss. As he lay gasping for breath, Hank pulled himself up and started kissing the sated Cajun. Remy could feel Beast's hard member against his leg and reached down to touch it.

Remy kissed Hank with passion before lowering himself on to the swollen penis he breathed in the rich scent of the man as he worked his tongue around the head. He licked up and down the shaft and sucked the balls before going back up again to the head and placing his mouth around the top making his mouth a tight O. Beast started rocking gently making love to the mouth of the auburn haired Cajun. Beast pulled him away before he could climax in his mouth and pulled him into another kiss. He stroked his back as his hands made their way ever farther down his back before reaching their designation. He squeezed his buttocks gently and explored. His fingers found the opening they were seeking. Remy jumped a little as one of Hank's fingers entered the tight opening. He relaxed as Hank moved it in and out slowly the motion causing him to once more become aroused.

Meanwhile Logan and Bobby were on the trail of Warren. They might have found him faster if it weren't for the fact that they had to stop trailing him every time they emptied a can and got another. As one can imagine they had trouble getting much further then the kitchen.

Rogue poked her head out of her room wearing her robe as Logan yelled out in false Soprano "Yoooooohoooo Waaarrreeeennn. Wherrrre arrrre youuuuuu?"

She thought to herself "Now what?" as she came down the stairs Logan started up them with Bobby close behind carrying a twelve pack. (The only way they could figure out to get away from the kitchen.) Logan caught his scent and turned sharply to tell Bobby. Logan lost his footing and grabbed Bobby.

Rogue watched as both men toppled and rolled down the stairs.

"You all have enough ta drink?" she asked with hands on her hips.

Logan looked up with a grin from the bottom of the stairs. "Darlin I ain't even started yet!"

Bobby raised his finger and with a look of concentration finally said, "Yah wha he shaid."

Rogue smirked, "Well then ah guess ya don't need muh help."

"Of course not darlin" he grinned, as he staggered oh so slightly.

"Of corsh nod darhin" Bobby echoed. As he too stood and weaved after the short X--men.

They started up the stairs again but this time Bobby lost his footing near the top and grabbed onto the back of Wolverine's collar as he went down. He and Bobby rolled down the stairs again and landed with a thud.

"Ohhh that had ta hurt." Rogue said with her arms crossed.

"I didn't feel a thing." Logan said as he stood up He grabbed a beer and tapped it with a claw before opening it. He drained it while Bobby regained his feet.

"Ahh dijn't fell a thung." Bobby said opening a can and getting soaked. He shook his head and nearly fell again but managed to keep his balance as he drank another beer.

Rogue took another deep breath and sighed as she leaned against the rail to watch the show.

Meanwhile back in the bedroom things had progressed further as now they rocked together in a gentle rhythm that carried them into bliss.

In another part of the mansion, namely the upstairs bathroom Warren laid spread eagle on the bathroom floor gently snoring a beer still clutched loosely in his hand.

Rogue yawned as once more the gentlemen stood up. They still hadn't made it up the stairs they were still drinking and they still wouldn't say die. Finally they decided they were going to crawl up the stairs they pushed the twelve pack ahead of them (a new one the old one having been drunk already) they took each step one at a time. When finally they reached the top Logan smirked up at Rogue

"She ah toldja we could manage." He tilted his head slightly to the side as he lay on his back to catch his wind. "Ou shoujn't ware pink panties they don shuit you."

Bobby laughed, "Lemme she lemme she!" as he tried to crawl toward Rogue who was already stomping off. As she slammed her door Bobby finally passed out.

"Booby booby?" Logan said as he shook Iceman. "Ah kin drin anyone under the table" he smiled as he continued to crawl now pushing the twelve pack in front of him as he dragged Bobby behind him by one foot.

Bishop looked out his door just after Bobby's head hit his door. He watched as his teammate continued to methodically push the beer then drag Bobby, push beer drag Bobby.

He shook his head and mumbled "Now what?" after a few seconds he decided he really didn't want to know that badly and went back inside.

Logan made his way to Bobby's room and finally pulled him into the room and with his foot he kicked the door close and then sat with Bobby beside the bed as he drained the rest of the beers. He looked at Bobby all three of him and decided to let him sleep it off. It's not as much fun if they aren't awake so he laid down using Bobby's tummy as a pillow while he let his healing factor get rid of the booze. "Ah will git him in the mornin no hurry" he said as he patted Bobby possessively.

A couple of hours later, Storm went to the bathroom opened the door and thought, "Now what?" before deciding perhaps she didn't really want to know and used the first floor bathroom.

=end