It was a Thursday night, the night of my company’s project party. I was late arriving, since I had to pick up my car from the shop. Matt, a coworker, was kind enough to drop me off before he too went to the party. I arrived about an hour after the start, with the party in full swing. A live band made me want to dance the night away, but there was no who would dance. So, I drew quite a bit of attention dancing alone on the dance floor. It was a lovely party that ended much too soon. Some of us got together to go to another bar and continue with our fun. We followed one co-worker to a bar that I was unfamiliar with.

Upon arriving I found that the bar was above a hotel in downtown Rome. It was small but definitely not quiet, as it was open mike night. Entering the bar I found it difficult to see, everything was very dark, only the bar was lit up. We walked in front of the small stage to get to the bar on the other side of the room to order drinks. As I walked past the stage I noticed that it was offset from the walls of the room and the left back corner was in deep shadows. I felt as if someone was standing in those shadow watching, even though I could not make out anything in that corner. I shivered and quickly caught up with my friends.

We ordered drinks and Matt picked out a table opposite the stage, so we would have a good view of the proceedings. I sat down with my drink and looked again into that dark corner and realized that there was indeed someone standing there. All I could see was a faint outline of a face and the occasional glint off a beer bottle. Several groups took to the stage. Only Matt remained at this point, everyone else having left since we had to work the next day.

Then that person who stood in the back stepped forward. He was dressed entirely in black, black jeans, black tee, black boots and a black leather jacket. He was very tall and walked with a sauntering gait. I could not see his face as his long jet-black hair hung at the side of his face. But I could see that what little of his face was exposed was extremely pale. Something about him intrigued me; perhaps it was the mystery of someone shrouded in shadows.

He walked over to the electric piano they had set up and sat down in front of it; he was facing to the right of the stage and continued to hide his face. As I continued my conversations with my friend, Matt, I watch this man intently. He began to play, but not the rock that others had played. He played a classical piece that was inspiring. Many within the audience did not like his offering, so when he finished the piece he picked up with another more suited to the crowd. He sang in a sweet baritone, the voice hauntingly familiar.

By now Matt was fully aware of my interest and knowing that I had been on the look out for any eligible male for the past several months, asked me what I thought of this one. At first I did not respond, I was so captivated with that voice. Then I said that he was beautiful, he had such talent! I loved that voice and felt mesmerized by it. As he played his entire body move to the music, he seemed to have a great passion for the art. I caught a glimpse of his face as he moved and was suddenly stock-still. From that brief glimpse I could swear that it was Kia. But Kia was dead and did not have any desire to play the piano in some small bar, in the middle of upstate New York.

Now I knew that I had to meet this person! I became very excited and tried hard not to show it. When he finished his number the crowd went crazy and a group gathered around him. From where I was at, I could see that it would be difficult to get close enough to talk with him. I decided to get a refill and asked Matt if he wanted more. Matt said no and decided that he would call it a day as it was now well past midnight. So he bid me a good night.

I was alone now and decided to get that refill anyway. The man that I had been admiring was at the other end of the bar as I made my way past groups of people to order another drink. I got my drink and tried to squeeze past a number of people only to find myself face to chest with the man in black. In fact, I almost spilled my drink all over him. I looked up into the face of Kai; yes it was diffidently Kai. My heart jumped as I realized he was looking at me. "Would you like to sit down somewhere?" he asked. I was floored but managed to point out my table. He turned and walked over to the table, pulling a chair out for me to sit in.

He sat down rather close to me and said, "You’ve been watching me."

I laughed and replied; "A great many have been watching you tonight."

"That’s NOT what I meant!" came his retort.

I smiled sweetly at him as he looked at me intently. "Who are you?" I asked.

Now his lips pursed as he replied slowly, "I don’t know." I looked at him suddenly aware that he was telling me the truth. I could feel the emotion, a sense of being lost and alone.

"Did you think that I knew?" I asked very quietly.

"You seemed to recognize me," he responded.

His green eyes seemed to hold me, "Do you really have no ideal who you are?"

"No," he answered sadly. Then he sighed, "I’ve been traveling for the last couple of months trying to piece together who I am and where I’m from."

"Why confide in me?" I asked, very seriously.

"Because there is something about you, something familiar. And I can sense that I can trust you, you will not lie to me." His intent gaze made me look away for a moment.

"Think back and tell me the last thing that you remember", I encouraged him.

"I woke up in an emergency room about two and a half months ago. They said I had been beaten up pretty bad. That I had a severe concussion and that my memory would return given time. But by the time I left, they weren’t so sure. The only thing that I know is that I have a bother named Kai, or maybe several brothers. I just can’t seem to make sense of this!" Now he was frustrated and angry. I could feel his emotions; they were powerful and intense. My inner sense cried out to him. I wanted to hold him and comfort him. There was so much pain in this. I reached out and held his hand, and the whole world exploded!

I was no longer sitting at a small table in a small bar. I was standing in a place of grayness. Next to me was this dark man; only here he was bright. I could feel his feelings as if they were my own. We held hands and I became aware of a link between us. I could hear his thoughts! #What happened!?# we asked each other.

I stared at him, he did not open his mouth to speak and I became aware that I didn’t either. #Do you hear me?# I questioned.

#Yes,# was his immediate response. His eyes twinkled, as he looked into my own.

#Where are we,# he asked. I just shrugged my shoulders and suddenly realized that my body here was perfect, there was no pain! He looked at me and asked why I was so surprised. I explained about the pain and he questioned, #You’re in constant pain?# I nodded my head, and then I reached up and held his head in my hands bring his head down and touching foreheads. He reached up and held my head in his hands and suddenly I wasn’t me anymore. I was him, and he was me. We were sharing our identities with each other. Joined, we suddenly understood one another like no other we had met before. Concentrating on this bond we shifted again and became one. There were no longer two of us, but just one. And we knew everything about each other. We examined his past and realized that he was indeed a clone of Kai, that dark warrior from another realm.

Our union did not last very long (although it had seemed like hours) and we were again in the bar, staring at each other. I checked my watch to find that about fifteen minutes had gone by. We looked around but there didn’t seem to be anything different about this place. #So I am a Kai clone,# he said to himself.

Only I heard him. "Have you had this ability before, Kai?" I asked.

"What ability?"

"Hearing other peoples’ thoughts", I replied.

Kai looked at me with those penetrating eyes and answered, "Sometime I’ve ‘heard’ people say things that they tell me, they never said."

"Have you ever felt another person’s emotions?" I asked.

"No, was that you I felt?" he asked quietly. I nodded my head smiling at him.

He leaned forward and kissed me. A soft and gentle kiss that became very passionate. My heart beat a tattoo within my breast. He gazed into my eyes, speaking softly with that sexy voice of his, "I have a place here." I could not resist, his intentions plain to me. We stood up and left the bar, he took me downstairs to a small room. There he kissed me again, in great passion. Our tongues twined tasting each other. I felt as if I had known him for years and yet I still felt that this was our first time together. He spoke softly, "Me to," and I knew he was still reading my thoughts.

My hands could not keep still, but began to explore him through his clothing. He moved from my mouth to my neck and received quite a surprise as I shook from head to toe clinging to him. His hands found their way under my shirt and ran up and down my back. His mouth ran across the flesh of my neck until I could not stand it anymore. He felt me come against him, pushing myself against him. He laughed with joy and began unbuttoning my jacket and shirt. Before long we were both naked, I could not get over how beautiful he was. His body was strong and lean; I felt such comfort in his arms.

On the bed he received his second surprise as he explored my breast with his hands and mouth. It did not take long for my body to shake and spasm. My breath came in great gasps as I moaned beneath him, holding his head against me. I could feel his need now, rising within him. I reached for his manhood and found him to be fully engorged. I suddenly worried, as I had not had a man in over six years and he was so large. I didn’t know if I could take him. But my touch made him shiver and moan. I looked into those green eyes and realized that it did not matter; I wanted him no matter what.

I guided him and held my breath, to release it a few seconds later in a deep moan. Together we moved as if we were one being, our bodies sliding against each other until I could not take it anymore. With my legs wrapped around his hips I held him; my hands griped his ass. He could not leave me if he wanted to now. When it hit me, my whole body jumped beneath him. I cried out and held him tightly against me. He rode me for several moments before he let go, moaning deeply.

We held our embrace, exhausted from our feats and fell asleep together.

I awake several hours later; Kai was trying to disengage our embrace. But as he moved my body reacted and I moaned deeply. He realized that he had awakened me. "Are you alright?" he asked sweetly.

"Ummm," I answered, still too sleepy to respond.

"Rox’s I’ve got to get up." I nodded my head and braced myself for his movement. Again my body reacted and I cried out as he got up.

"Are you ok?" he asked anxiously.

I answered, "I’ll be ok." I shivered with the cold. He pulled the covers up and over me. It was then that I realized that all I had had was his body warmth. I checked my watch, it was after three in the morning and I still had to get home and take care of Cody.

I realized that I had not told Kai about my son or that my ex-husband was watching him at my house. Another thought occurred to me as well, I had not told Kai my name, but he had called me ‘Rox’s’. I wondered how much he had gleaned from our short time together. I closed my eyes feeling that this was all a dream. Then I heard the shower going. Kai came out and asked me if I wanted a shower with him. I looked up into those incredible eyes and got out of bed.

An hour or so later I was dressed. I looked at Kai, "What will you do now?"

"I’d like to stay with you, if you don’t mind that is."

I sighed, "I didn’t tell you that I have a son, did I."

He smiled, "No you didn’t, but I am aware of your son and your ex. He’s watching Cody now isn’t he?"

"Yes," I said sadly.

"Let me go home with you," he pleaded, "I don’t want to be without you. And I can help, you’ll see I can be a big help."

I smiled at his request, "What am I going to do?" I asked no one in particular.

"Take me with you. I want to belong somewhere. You said that you might know some people who could help me with my memory. Please, Rox’s." How could I refuse him?

When we got home, Duke greeted us at the door, his tail wagging happily. Upon entering the living room we found Cody asleep on the Love Seat and Kevin asleep on the sofa. I asked Kai to take Cody up to his bed and went into the kitchen to get my meds. After a few minutes Kai came down again, waking Kevin up. I could hear Kevin saying angrily, "Who the hell are you?!"

I walked in and Kai was smiling a dangerous smile of his at Kevin. He walked over to me and put his arm around my waist.

"The little one is in bed now. Is there anything else you need done?" Kai said looking into my eyes which made me melt into him. He glanced at Kevin with an entirely different look, a look that said hands off mister.

Kevin looked at me and asked stiffly, "Will you need me to pick Cody up tomorrow?"

"Yes, Kevin, my friend Kai doesn’t have his drivers license yet. Could you drop him off at the house?" Kevin was obviously angry but said yes; he got his boots on and left.

I looked into Kai’s eyes, and frowned, "He is going to be trouble now."

"Don’t worry about him, I can take care of things," answered Kai.

"He is my son’s father. Don’t take that away from my son," I told Kai.

He frowned and nodded, "I’ll keep that in mind."

I smiled up at him, "We do need to think of a name for you, and something that fits your nature I think." He just smiled at me, then he picked me up and carried me upstairs. Names would have to wait until another time. I still had a few hours before I needed to get ready for work.

"Rox’s … Rox’s," I felt a soft kiss on my brow and a hand on my shoulder gently shaking me. "Rox’s, its time to get up."

I moaned softly and turned over, trying to escape back to sleep. "Rox’s your alarm went off ten minutes ago. You said, you had to be at work this morning." I felt gentle hands draw me into a sitting position. A cup was pressed to my lips. I drank down the tea, my eyes still closed. He supported me from behind and all I wanted was to lean back and go to sleep.

"Kai, please! I’m exhausted," I said softly.

"You made me promise to get you up." I nodded my head and tried to crawl out of bed. I gained my feet and promptly collapsed onto the floor. My legs would not support me and I cried in pain. "Rox’s!! What’s Wrong!"

"Kai, here rub my leg, I’ve got a cramp." I had a charlie-horse and couldn’t get up.

Kai went to work quickly, massaging the cramped muscles. "What happened?" he asked in great concern.

"Well, it has been a really long time since I engaged in sex. I guess it’s a matter of too much too fast."

"I shouldn’t have pushed you," Kai said remorsefully. "Are you hurting anywhere else?"

"I think a hot shower would loosen things up a bit," I told him.

"Ok," he responded and with that he picked me up and carried me down stairs. He helped me stand and then ran the water. The hot water felt good. Kai got in the tub with me and got down the showerhead; he adjusted it to the massage setting and began to play it over my neck, shoulders, back and legs. Before long I was moaning with pleasure.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. I had just begun feeling better, and had turned my attention to Kai. The knock came again, "Mommy, can I come in? I’ve got to go potty! I promise not to look." It was my son, Cody.

"Come in Cody and hurry up. We have to get ready to go." Cody came in the room and made his way to the toilet. Behind the shower curtain Kai was running his hands up and down my back and kissing my neck. I couldn’t help it, I moaned softly. The he pressed his body against my back, I moaned deeply.

"Did you say something, Mommy?"

"No, Cody," I said a bit breathlessly.

"I’ll be upstairs in a few minutes, please get dressed." Cody left and closed the door.

In a moment Kai was in me. His erection filled me and he made gentle love. Afterwards I rinsed off and got out. My legs seemed steady enough. "I shouldn’t have done that to you," he said, "I’m sorry."

He was looking at the floor, not meeting my eyes. "Don’t worry about it, Kai. It felt really good." I smiled and lifted his chin to look into his eyes. "I’m awake now. Let’s get dressed and I’ll introduce you to Cody."

Wrapped in towels we went upstairs. At the top of the stairs Cody came out of his room. "Mommy, who is that?" He pointed to Kai, his surprise evident on his face.

"Cody, I’d like you to meet Kai. He will be staying with us."

Kai took Cody’s hand and shook it, "It’s a pleasure to meet you, Cody."

Cody’s eyes got big, "You’re from the Lexx, aren’t you? Are you the actor Mommy likes?"

"No Cody, I am not from the Lexx and I’m not Michael McManus. But my ancestor was the man you know as Kai from the Lexx."

"Cool!" Cody said.

I had gone into my bedroom and began to dress, "Cody, you can talk to Kai tonight. Right now we have to get ready to go, it’s late."

Kai smiled at Cody, "I had better get dressed too." He turned and walked into my bedroom. Cody was almost dressed so he got the rest of his cloths and came in too. By now I had most of my cloths on and Kai was putting on his jeans.

As Cody put on his socks, he asked "Mommy, is Kai going to live with us?"

"Would that bother you if he did?" I asked.

"I like him"

"Good, Kai is welcome to stay as long as he wants."

Cody turned and asked Kai, "Will you stay!?"

"As long as your mother wants me to," he smiled at Cody.

"Now, would you like breakfast?" Kai asked Cody.

"No", Cody said.

"We don’t have time," I said.

"Kai, look around the house, I’m sure you can keep yourself busy until I return."

"Will you be home for lunch?" Kai asked me.

"I won’t have much time, but yes," I said as I gathered up my stuff. I left my work number, and then Cody and I left.

I dropped Cody off at school and headed to the office. (A note about the work I do. I am a software testing engineer and test lead. That means that I test software before it is sent to the customer. And I am in charge of my test team.) Amazingly enough I got there on time. I came in humming the Brunnon-G anthem. I said hi to all and went to my cube. I switched on my PC and logged in. At the same time I put water into my drip teapot and brewed some tea. I was tired but felt very good. Next I brought up my outlook, it would take awhile to download all my email, so I went to check in with my boss.

"Good morning, Gary. Anything cooking?" I asked.

"Hi, Roxane, did you have a good time last night?"

"Oh, yes," I smiled back at him.

"Good, it will be slow today, John and Melissa are out. Could you find out where Doug is on his work? I think we can focus on DR’s today." (Note: DR’s are Discrepancy Reports)

"Good, I’ve got some work to do then. I’ll talk to you later." With that I went back to my cube. Doug sat directly across from me. "How’s it going Doug?" I asked.

"Good, good, just got a few more DR’s to test in the SCIF (a secure area)."

"Do you think you’ll be finished today?"

"Probably, you know how it goes," Doug responded.

"Yah, let me know if you need anything."

I stretched tired muscles and sat in my ergonomically correct computer chair. Matt should be coming in soon, I thought. I’ll have to check on his progress as well. I turned to my PC and started going over my email. There was quite a bit, so I started sorting them into various subfolders. The phone rang.

"BAE Systems, Roxane here. May I help you?" I stated as I answered the phone.

"Roxane?"

"Kai?"

"Yes, it’s me. I miss you," Kai sounded very lonely.

"I miss you too, love," I waited for his response.

"I don’t know what to do. I’ve taken Duke for a walk, but I don’t know what else to do. Can I come and see you?"

"No Kai, you can’t come here. They won’t allow it, and I’ve got to talk to Holly anyway. Look in the study, there’s plenty to read."

"I need to keep busy. Have you emailed your friends yet?"

"No, I just started looking at my email. Kai, try to come up with a name. That should keep you busy for a while."

"What would you like?" he asked.

"It’s your name, you must deiced." At this Doug looked up. He had a puzzled expression. "Kai, I’ve got to go"

"Will you come home for lunch?"

"Of course."

"Shall I dress or not?" he asked playfully.

"Kai! Please, I’m trying to work," my face flushed.

Doug looked at me and asked quietly, "Are you ok?"

I nodded, "Look, I’ll be home around 12:30, can you hang on until then?" I sighed tiredly.

"Yes, I supposed," Kai answered sadly.

"Good, I’ll talk to you then." I said my goodbye and hung up. I picked up the phone again and called Holly. She didn’t pickup so I left a message for her to give me a call.

I then composed the following email message:

After sending off my email, I went back to work. I had several DR’s to test. I opened DDTS and queried for any DR’s assigned to me. When I left yesterday, I had about a dozen DR’s, but this morning I was down to six. I drank down my cup of tea, stretched and went to talk to Katie in CM (Control Management). The new system still had a few problems. I explained my problem to Katie and she said she would look into it.

We talked about the party for a few minutes when Matt came in. "Hi, Matt!" we said.

"Good morning!" was his response. "Roxane, you look unusually happy today. Were you able to talk to that musician last night?"

I blushed deep red, "Um … yes, I did."

Matt laughed, "I take it he was good!"

"You met someone?!" Katie asked excitedly.

"Yes," I stammered.

"Well, what’s he like?" Katie asked.

I just smiled and then grinned, "He’s wonderful." I had that far away look in my eyes.

Matt was watching me, "Did you get any sleep? You look tired."

"I am, I think I might have slept a couple of hours," I responded.

Kathy asked, "He kept you up all night?" She was grinning at me.

I blushed again and stammered, "He … he …" I had to swallow hard and closed my eyes as I was remembering last night, I began to shake.

"Roxane," Matt said quietly, "Roxane." He reached forward and touched my arm. I jumped, then turned and walked back to my desk. I couldn’t think I sat staring at the screen.

They both came over, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I’m fine. I just have to calm down."

The phone rang and I picked it up, "Hello? … Kai, wait I don’t understand … yes, that would be fine, the vacuum is in the closet between the bath and study. The mop and broom are at the top of the basement stairs. Oh, and there’s a mop bucket at the top shelf. Cleaning supplies are under the Kitchen and Bathroom sinks…Yes love, that is great. Are you sure you want to do this? … Well, ok. … Yes, just a couple more hours …well, how’s tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches? There should be cans in the cupboard, if not there’s some built in cabinets in the basement workroom. You’ll find some more there … I miss you, too … No, it’s all right … yes … hum … I’ll see you soon.. Yes… yes… me too… goodbye."

"He’s going to clean you house?" Katie couldn’t believe her ears.

I smiled, "Yes, he doesn’t have anything to do while I’m here."

"Roxane, his name is Kai?" Matt asked.

"Yes Matt, that’s his last name, but I like the sound of it."

"He’s not..." Matt began.

"No, Matt," I interrupted, "Kai was his father." Now Matt looked baffled. "I’ll explain it to you sometime. I’ve got to get busy now."

I turned back to my PC and pulled up the first DR. Matt and Katie left me, but I couldn’t concentrate. I was just too tired. I went back to Outlook and checked for messages. I guess it’s too soon yet, I thought. Time seemed to drag I was so tired. I need at least six hours sleep and I had no ideal how much I had gotten. But, I was pretty sure it was less than three hours.

Finally it was time for lunch. I had been having trouble focusing on anything for the last hour. My eyes hurt so. I got myself together and left. When I got home I parked my car and got out. Kai surprised me by coming out of the house with Duke on his heels. "Kai! Don’t let Duke out!" I yelled. "He’ll run away!"

I moved forward to try to catch Duke, but Kai laughed. "He won’t run, will you Duke?" he petted Duke’s head and came forward. He took me into his arms and kissed me. I leaned heavily against him. "Your tired. I have lunch ready then you can rest."

"Sounds good to me. How did you get Duke to obey you?"

"He wants to!" I was too tired to make much sense out of this.

Kai lead me into the house and sat me down. He had everything ready and made sure I ate, even thought I felt too tired to eat. In truth I had started nodding off as I ate. Kai could take no more; he picked me up and laid me on the couch. When he stood back up I opened my eyes. "I’ve go to get back to work," I started to try to get up.

"No! You are going to rest. Are you in any pain?"

"Some…I …just… need… to…" I was fast asleep.

He went upstairs and pulled back the covers on the bed. Then he came down and picked me up. I wasn’t aware of the movement. He laid me down and took off my shoes. He covered me up and kissed my cheek, "Sleep well, my love."

I found out later that he called my boss to let him know I wouldn’t be back today. My boss told him, that it was good I’d get some rest I obviously needed it. I slept through, sleeping so soundly that I didn't move.

Kevin dropped Cody off. Kai closed the door behind Kevin and leaned against it, smiling at Kevin. He then bent down and hugged Cody. "Your mother is sleeping, do you think you could help me?"

"Yes," Cody said.

"She is very tired and I don’t want her getting sick. We need to keep things quite. Could you stay down here or in the basement?"

Cody looked up with troubled eyes, "But the basement’s a mess."

"It was a mess, I cleaned it up today. Did you know you have a lot of toys down there?"

Kevin watched this interchange and grew jealous. Duke moved between Kevin and Kai and Cody. He kept his eyes on Kevin and bared his teeth. Kevin was taken aback. Duke had always been his buddy, but now he looked like he might attack Kevin.

Cody’s eyes lit up, "In the basement?" Kai nodded. "Ok, I’ll go play there. Are you coming with me?"

Kai shook his head no, "I’ve got to talk to your father, then I’ll be down. But, Duke will go with you, won’t you Duke?" Duke, turned and barked once, then he walked over to Cody and bumped Cody’s hand with his nose. "Go on, Cody, he’ll stay with you."

"Ok, come on Duke!" Cody ran down stairs. He could be heard going through his toys down stairs.

Once Cody went downstairs Kai turned and moved in front of Kevin. His eyes seemed to glow and Kevin felt a chill down his spine. Kai leaned towards Kevin, "You have no ideal what you have lost," Kai stated in a dangerously quiet voice. "She is beautiful!" Kai’s eyes took on a far away look, but quickly returned. "She is so special, you have no ideal!" Kevin grew pale under those eyes.

Suddenly, I woke up. Something was wrong! But I didn’t know what. I laid there trying to figure out what had awakened me with my sleep-numbed senses.

Kai continued, "I will not allow anyone to hurt her or her boy! So there’s going to be some new rules. You will be respectful to both of them." He reached forward and placed his hands on Kevin’s shoulders. "I know your past, Kevin. I know you’re an alcoholic. And I will know when you pick up again, you can count on that," Kai said in a low dangerous voice. "When you do you will NOT be welcome here at all! You will get a phone, not a cell phone, but a real phone. So that if she needs to contact you she can. You will stop using her as your personal message service. You will get your SSD and start supporting your son."

I sat up someone was terrified! I could feel their fear! It was very close and very strong! My body protested my every move. I made it to the top of the stairs, then I called out, "Kai!" my voice betraying my pain and concern.

Downstairs, Kai’s head swung around, he looked toward the dinning room. Letting go of Kevin he moved swiftly to the foot of the stairs. Kevin was amazed that he moved without sound and with the grace of a jungle cat. He didn’t even hear Kai go up the stairs. Then Kai’s voice drifted down, "Are you all right, Rox’s?" there was passion in that voice and deep concern.

"Is Cody alright? Something’s wrong!" I swayed on my feel. He pulled me close, I’ll check on him, but it’s back to bed for you." By the time Kai got downstairs, Kevin was long gone.

Cody was playing happily in the basement play area that Kai had set up for him. "Are you going to play with me now?"

"I’ll just check on your mother, then I’ll be back right down," Kai said then went back upstairs to check on me. When Kai returned he played with Cody, until it was time to start dinner.

Things seem to be working out, I thought as I drifted back to sleep.

3/23/01

Roxy and Cody have gone and left me sitting here. I don’t know what to do. Roxy suggested that I start a diary, so here it goes.

Where to begin?

She suggested that I spend some time figuring out a name for myself. Sounds so simple, but…what name should I use. I’ve gone through the last few months without a name, I have used John Doe a few times along with several others. Well, she said to use something that depicts my nature. So far we have found that I’m telepathic. Well, I don’t want to be called Tele. I found this huge dictionary in the basement. She sure has a lot of books! The following looks promising.

paranormal adj 1: seemingly outside normal sensory channels [syn: extrasensory] [ant: sensory] 2: not in accordance with scientific laws; "what seemed to be paranormal manifestations" [ant: normal]

I kind of like Ruakh, but I’m not sure of the pronunciation. Besides Para has a certain ring to it. I like it too because of it’s meaning: beside her, alongside her, beyond normal communication (ours is certainly beyond normal), parallel communication (which we have), side by side (I like that). Then there is, ‘that which shields or protects from’. A good description of what I want to do for my Lady. I’ll tell her tonight then, ParaKai is here to stay!!

Well that was easier than I thought it would be. What next. Looking around this house, she diffidently needs help. I wonder why she doesn’t have a housekeeper. The place is a real mess. I think I’ll call her again and ask if she wouldn’t mind me cleaning the place up a bit. At least that would keep me busy until she gets home.

I’ve finished cleaning things up. Even made a play area in the basement for Cody. I hope Roxy doesn’t mind. She seems so independent, but I know how dependent she can be. Being able to know her, her memories, even her emotion [which she has shared with me] means a lot to me. I never knew that a person could share their emotions like she does. We touch and she closes her eyes and suddenly I can hear everything she is thinking and I can feel everything she is feeling. There is no miscommunication here, like there can be with spoken words. It’s wonderful.

How does she do it? I’ve only a little ability myself, but her ability is so strong. She really is a very strong person. It’s funny that she has been hurt so much; really she could defend herself with this ability. If only she could overcome this extreme notion, of doing no harm, no matter what. I would never have to defend her. Maybe we could work on that. Imagine making someone so fearful that they turn and run. That wouldn’t hurt the other person and she would be protected.

I really am worried, what if those that hurt me find us. How can I protect her and her son? It would devastate her if anything happened to him. I’m not even sure if I could defend myself, after all I was beaten to a pulp.

That reminds me, she wanted me to write down everything I could remember. Where to start? Well I guess that would be with the first thing I remember.

I remember waking up; I was in an awful lot of pain. I couldn’t hear or see at first. But I did hear voices in my head. They sounded so strange, distant and far away. A women’s voice saying, #He must have been beautiful before this. Such pretty green eyes.# Something stabbed at my eye, pain lancing through my brain. A male voice started talking over hers’, #He’ll never make it, pupils are blown, non-reactive, blood pressure’s very low, lots of blood lost, that stab wound to his chest should kill him, then there’s his shattered skull, he’s in shock, no he won’t live the hour...# The female, #He has such beautiful hair, so soft, so long, I’ll try saving as much as I can, there the wound site is clean now, just a little bit more….# There were other voices as well. One thought of going golfing when he got off shift, another thought of her lover and a third wanted to get out of there, something about a phone call they had to make, he was very anxious.

It seems strange to me now that I can still remember this in detail, though I wasn’t fully conscious at the time. Slowly hearing came back and I could make out the sound of scissors cutting my hair. There were sounds of people moving about the room, of machines, a heart monitor, lots of beeping, and the sound of metal hitting metal. I still could not feel my body, except for the incredible pain. Then a screeching as an alarm went off. The male voice spoke out loud, "We’re losing him! Get…" I think I lost consciousness for a time.

I became aware again with the feeling of someone stabbing me in the chest. I must have tried to cry out or move, because someone told me to lie still. The voice was very comforting. I think it was the surgeon; his voice was soft and very steady. "Your in an operating room, we can’t give you anything for the pain yet. You have a severe concussion." I remember looking up into his face. His inner voice talked about veins and tissue and such, focusing on the surgery. All I could see was a man in a mask, but his eyes smiled. "You must lie still, I know you’re in a lot of pain. You were cut up pretty badly. I have to repair this wound to your chest. Your left lung has collapsed, your feeling me repair the tear in the lung. You must be very strong; most people don’t wake up in your state. Just relax, that’s right. You’re doing good." He continued to tell me everything he did. His entire presence was very comforting. He worked from repairing my lung and a nick in the heart wall to the smaller cuts on my arms and legs.

My head was in some sort of a vice and another surgeon came in while this one was working on me. He took a place at my head and looked down at me. "Good he’s awake. Sir, you didn’t have any identification on you. Do you remember your name?" I couldn’t speak and just stared back at him. "He probably has some brain damage. How are you coming on the rest?"

The first answered, "Just fine, he’s stronger than he looks. I think that he understands you. But, he might not have the strength to answer yet."

"Ok, well, I’ve got to get started if we’re to help him." With that he began exploring the opening in my head. The funny thing is that I didn’t feel a thing. I could feel everything the other doctor did, but this one was painless. The only thing I felt was pressure as he removed several splinters of bone.

I kept looking around the room, several times though; I found that I couldn’t see at all. My hearing kept cutting in and out as well. But those inner voices would not shut up. I don’t know how long this ordeal lasted, but I was finally moved to another room. I felt exhausted, and dozed only to be awoken by a nurse every time she saw me fall asleep. I presume that the head injury required that I remain awake.

When I awoke from the surgery a new doctor examined me and asked how I was feeling. I was just fine; nothing that a little rest wouldn’t cure. He said that I was in the ICU. When he asked me who I was, I was shocked, I did not know! I didn’t remember anything beyond waking up in the ER. The doctor was amazed that I remembered that. According to his records, I did not wake up until I was in surgery. In fact, my heart had stopped twice while I was in the ER, once for about two minutes and then for almost seven. I had shocked the trauma team with my sudden recovery. I told him that they had said I wouldn’t make it. In fact the trauma doctor had said I wouldn’t make it, that I wouldn’t last an hour. This doctor was shocked that the trauma doctor would say such a thing. He said he would check into it.

He then told me that I had been there for several days. I had no ideal; to me it was the same day. I spent the next few days in bed. At last they let me sleep. They wouldn’t let me get up, when I finally wanted to. I was very weak but I wanted to get out of there. That night I did get up on my own. I felt a terrifying presence, a feeling that someone was after me. All kinds of alarms went off, but I didn’t care, I had to get out of there. I had removed the IV and the various leads. The nurse came charging in and demanded that I get back to bed. I refused and walked out of the room. I did have to lean against the wall now and again. Security brought me back and put me in bed with restraints. I spent the night like that.

The next morning the doctor came back, "You gave everyone quite a scare last night." #How did he have the strength to get out of bed? Let alone down two floors?#

"I don’t know where I got the strength from, but if you don’t let me loose I’m going to tear this place apart!! I’ve got to get out of here!"

He looked at me funny, "Why do you have to get out of here?" #I wonder how much brain damage there is? Is he violent.#

I looked right at him and yelled, "I am not violent! They are going to kill me." Well, as you might imagine that was not the thing to say. The doctor ordered some medication for me and left the restraints on. I had felt a familiar presence that was very threatening. I fought the restrains as the nurse came in to give me a shot. I just was not strong enough to break free. As the shot took effect, I knew I was in grave danger and had to keep my head the next time I talked to the doctor. I tried to remain awake but the shot made me relax and I slept for some time.

I came around late that afternoon. I calmly asked the nurse why I had these restraints on. She looked at me, "You don’t remember?" #Maybe he’s all right now. He’s so beautiful now that those awful bruises are almost gone.#

I concentrated on her spoken words. "Remember what, beautiful." I smiled at her and she quickly looked away, I could see the flush on her cheeks. "Boy do I need to get up, my back is so stiff."

She smiled, "I’ll see what I can do." #Maybe he had a flash back! He might have been remembering something. I wish he would kiss me.#

At this last I just stared at her for a moment. I tried to recover myself, "I remember…"

"Yes, you remember!" she was excited, feeling that she was right.

"Nothing, it’s nothing," I said very sadly.

"No, go on," she encouraged.

"There were some people after me, I think. They wanted to hurt me," I felt a chill and shivered this was true. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"I’ll get the doctor." She left me to think.

When the doctor arrived, he was very excited. "The nurse tells me that you’ve remembered something."

"I want to apologies for my earlier behavior, but I did feel like there was someone after me. Like they were hunting for me. Could I get these restraints off now?"

"You seem to have collected yourself. I think we can safely say that you had some sort of flash back. Here I’ll remove them, Nurse!" He moved to my left wrist and removed the restraint. The nurse came in and helped remove the rest. I could not help looking her over. The doctor laughed, "Well, I can see that you are feeling much better. We’ll get you moved to a regular bed." It was when they were moving me to another room that I got my chance to get away. I stole some scrubs and made it out without being stopped. I don’t know what happened when I left, but I’m sure they were surprised.

I guess I do heal pretty fast. My bruises were faint, and they had already removed my stitches. Even my hair had begun to grow back. I covered up the area by pulling some hair down over my face. It did seem to have an affect on the ladies. I’m not proud to say that I did have several occasions to be with several ladies. But Roxy seems to understand; at least she is not angry with me. She surprised me last night be saying that she wouldn’t mind if I wanted to sleep with someone else, she just wants me to be happy. I told her that I’m happy being just with her, I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. I just want her… Well, I’ve gotten off track.

When I left the hospital, I discovered that I was in Seattle, Washington. I decided that leaving the area would be a good ideal. So I started hitching across the states. First going southeast then northeast. Along the way I discovered that I’m good with music. I love to sing. I can play the piano and just about anything else. I’ve also had several odd jobs, like, short order cook, dishwasher, maintenance man, stock clerk, etc.; anything that doesn’t require extensive learning although I learn pretty fast. I’ve never stayed for more that a few days in any one place. It’s been difficult. Now and then I do feel like someone is following me. But I’ve never been able to find out who.

I just hope that now that I’ve found my Lady, there will be no more trouble. I want us to live in peace. She is so beautiful, her clear blue eyes, that pale skin, the freckles here and there, her red hair, her lips, her… Oh, great now what do I do! I’ve got to get up anyway; she’ll be home soon for lunch. All I want to do is hold her close and kiss her.