Title: Bonds of love
Author: Natasha
Email: natasha@kyxar.fr
Fandom: The Sentinel
Rating: nc17, slash m/m
Pairing: Jim/Blair
Summary: Takes place early in season four. Jim is kidnapped by Kincaid and drugged. Kincaid threatens to kill him if Blair doesn't humiliate him in front of a camera using sex. It makes the two friends think about their real feelings.
Disclaimer: All Sentinel things belong to PetFly and UPN.
Archive: yes
BONDS OF LOVE
By Natasha
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
Blair carefully entered into the old factory, wondering what he was about to find . He had received a cryptic phone call telling him to go to a certain factory in the outskirts of town, and to come alone, if he wanted to see Jim Ellison alive again.
Blair pushed the door and entered the main room, and immediately heard a voice telling him to stop.
"Stay where you are!" a masculine voice ordered.
He couldn't see anything due to a light shining directly into his eyes.
"Where is Jim?" he asked nevertheless.
"Don't worry, you'll soon see him," the voice responded.
He felt strong hands running up and down his body, making sure he wasn't armed.
"I came without a weapon, as you told me," Blair said quietly.
"Come," the man said.
Blair went further into the factory and gasped.
There was a bed in the middle of the room. And on the bed a very naked and totally bound Jim Ellison, lying down on his back, fists clenched.
Blair turned to the man and gasped again when he recognized Kincaid. The terrorist who had taken half of Cascade police station in hostage a few years ago. Blair still had nightmares about that ordeal.
"Kincaid!" he exclaimed.
"Surprised, uh?" the terrorist smiled. His eyes were brightening with a dangerous light and Blair wondered if the madness he had guessed in him three years ago hadn't grown. Kincaid resumed, "I escaped a few days ago and my very first thought was to meet with my old friend Jim Ellison and his partner!"
Blair looked at Jim and frowned. The Sentinel's blue pupils were abnormally dilated. "What did you do to him?" Blair asked.
"I knocked him out and gave him a drug that's going to arouse his senses," Kincaid answered with another smile. "You see, when I was in jail, I had some hard times with my companions. They wanted to fuck me, to make me their whore. I had to teach respect to some of them, but I learned how forced sex could destroy a man. That's how I'm going to destroy Jim Ellison, cop of the year. And you're going to help me!"
"Never!" Blair exclaimed.
"So you're going to die. And I'll manage to call young Daryl Banks. He's just eighteen, full of vigor. It'll be fun to send the video of him fucking with Ellison to his daddy!"
Blair swallowed hard. Daryl would be traumatized for his entire life. Simon would probably have a heart attack. Sex with another man wasn't something new for Blair; he had been bi since his teenage years even if he was now more attracted to women. But Jim. Jim was as straight as an arrow. Blair mentally sighed when he thought that he had no choice but to obey, and that this was going to destroy their friendship and send Jim to a shrink's door for a while.
"I'll do what you want," he said slowly. "But I want your word you'll leave Daryl alone. He's only a kid."
Kincaid smiled. "I'll leave him alone if you obey. I don't intend to kill you, Sandburg. Ellison either. I only want to humiliate him, to destroy him, to make him so ashamed he won't show his face ever again!"
Blair was scared by Kincaid's calm tone. The man was talking about the whole thing as if it was a very ordinary business.
"Strip!" Kincaid ordered.
Blair chewed his lower lip but when the man put his gun down to Jim's temple, he exclaimed, "Okay, man! I'll do it! Don't shoot!"
He quickly undressed. Under ordinary circumstances, he would be embarassed but right now, he was too busy trying to come up with a plan to get Jim and himself out of this mess without any damage.
"I can already imagine how it's going to be when I send the videotapes to his captain, to his friends, to the TV stations. It'll be real fun for me!"
Blair clenched his fists. Anger was rising in him hard, and he forced himself to breathe slowly. Anger wouldn't help him. He had to stay calm and look for the slightest opportunity to neutralize Kincaid. And Blair was ready to anything , including killing the man if he had to. This bastard didn't deserve anything else.
"First, I want him to give you a blowjob!" Kincaid began.
"Listen, man," Blair tried to argue, "I can't have a hard-on like that, I..."
"You'd better be cooperative," Kincaid only said pointing his gun to Jim.
Blair sighed. He cupped the back of Jim's head in his left hand and pulled it close to his limp cock as his right hand guided his member into Jim's open mouth. Blair nearly gasped when he felt the older man's hot lips wrapped around his member. He closed his eyes, trying hard to think of an actress on who he could fantasize. Pictures seen in magazines flowed into his mind. But soon Blair didn't need any other stimulation than Jim's mouth on his now hard shaft. He opened his eyes, only to see Jim mouth coming up and down on his member, as Kincaid filmed them. Blair bit his lip to avoid crying out in pure pleasure.
"Fuck his face!" Kincaid ordered.
Blair obeyed, framing Jim's face between his hands and fucking his friend's face without roughness, ready to come.
"Don't come in his mouth," Kincaid told again. "Shoot on his face!"
Blair breathed and once again, obeyed. He felt sorry for Jim because he knew he always sent a lot of seed when he climaxed but he was very aware of Kincaid's gun threatening Jim. He pumped on his shaft until orgasm hit him, making him moan as his creamy fluid splashed Jim's face. His friend had closed his eyes and Blair couldn't read anything on the stoic face.
Panting, he barely heard Kincaid telling him to step back, hands up. He obeyed and blushed when he saw the man's camera zooming on Jim's face.
"Now suck him!" the man then said.
Blair climbed on the bed and knelt between his friend's open legs. To his surprise, Jim was already hard and there was even precum that was leaking from the tip of his cock. Nobody could say what the drug had done to his Sentinel's senses. Blair didn't comment, and began to lick the hard shaft, tasting the precum, while his hand was stroking Jim's heavy balls. At least he wanted to make it pleasurable for Jim. He engulfed the whole member in his mouth, moving his head up and down.
"Make him come with your hand," Kincaid ordered.
Blair didn't understand until he saw the camera zooming on Jim's cock while the Sentinel climaxed, filming the semen pulsing on the bigger man's chest.
"Now fuck him!" Kincaid said with a bad smile. "I want to hear him screaming!"
"Hey!" Blair protested. "Give us a break! We're not machines!"
"You have two minutes to recover!"
Blair tried to stay quiet. He had hoped he could try something but Kincaid was still very alert, his gun pointed to Jim's head. Blair tried to look into Jim's eyes, but Jim hid his eyes from his partners gaze.
"Time for the show, Sandburg! You can use the lube," Kincaid snapped.
Blair breathed deeply and grabbed his own cock, stroking himself until he was hot and hard. He grabbed the tube of lube and put some on his fingers. He was conscious that Kincaid was zooming in on his fingers as he entered one digit in Jim's puckered opening. He added a second finger, stretching him as gently as he could. He had no doubt Jim was a virgin, and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt him. He put a third finger, fucking his friend until he felt him open up to him, then put more lube on his cock, and slowly entered him. He didn't want to think he was aroused by the whole thing. He would never recognize that being filmed was a wonderful aphrodisiac.
He began to thrust, slowly at first, then, feeling that Jim was responding to him by bucking back against his cock, he quickened his pace. Jim's cock was now hard again, and Blair wrapped his fist around it, pumping hard, but Kincaid ordered him to stop, eliciting an agonized moan from Jim. Blair was hitting the older man's prostate and he thought it must be hell to be so close and to lack the final stimulation.
Blair came quickly, sending his hot semen in Jim's tight channel. He withdrew, still panting, and Kincaid gestured for him to move away. He obeyed and even after all had happened, turned crimson when he realized that Kincaid was zooming on his semen oozing from Jim's ass.
"Lick him clean!" Kincaid ordered. " And remember, I'm filming!"
Blair moved away his hair, and began to lick his own seed. As his tongue was circling Jim's anus, Kincaid ordered again,
"Fuck him with your tongue!"
Blair felt a rush of pure lust invading him and he obeyed, darting his tongue and entering Jim's opening. He clearly heard Jim moaning aloud, and again he wrapped his fist around his friend's cock, waiting for a new order from Kincaid, but the man stayed quiet. Blair was lost in his sensation, his tongue and his hand working hard to bring Jim to pleasure. He felt the bigger man's body shaking violently as some semen pulsed on his hand.
Blair knelt between Jim's legs, avoiding watching his friend. His own cock was hard again but this time it was painful.
"Use the things you find in the bag," Kincaid ordered.
Blair opened the bag again and pulled out a paddle, and some leather things he preferred not to think what they were for. And a dildo. A huge dildo.
"Put the dildo and the leather on him, and spank him!"
Blair put lube on the dildo and slowly pushed the huge thing in Jim's ass. This time he heard a moan that wasn't from pleasure.
"I'm hurting him, man," Blair said softly.
"I hope so!"
"It's not your goal, man, you want him to climax as hard as he can to humiliate him, no?"
Blair had hoped their tormentor would eventually order him to remove the dildo, but Kincaid replied, "I want him to suffer too! Plug that dildo in his ass!"
Blair nodded, and was relieved to see that Jim had enough control on himself to relax his muscles. The dildo slipped now easily in his ass.
"Now use the leather toys!"
Blair took the leather straps and fastened them around Jim's cock and balls. He stretched them as hard as he could to avoid hurting his friend. He was worried that Jim didn't say anything, didn't want to meet his gaze.
"Now gag him!"
Blair complained, lying down on the older man's body to put the gag one. But before he could do it, Kincaid stopped him.
"No, I have a better idea. Kiss him! And I want to see your tongue sucking his!"
Blair sighed. This time Jim had to cooperate.
"Restrain your damn hair or I'll cut it!" Kincaid yelled suddenly.
Blair obeyed, and then leaned down toward Jim. This time their gazes met but the only thing he read in Jim's blue eyes was arousal. Making sure Kincaid could see him; he licked hungrily at Jim's lips, before the bigger man parted them. Blair shivered when their lips met, when their tongues met, and he kissed him senseless, ravishing his mouth. He lost control. He could pretend he had done the whole thing to keep them alive, but now he couldn't pretend he didn't enjoy kissing James Ellison.
"What a kiss, Sandburg!" Kincaid said mockingly. " I'm beginning to think you're enjoying my little game!"
Blair didn't reply.
"Gag him!"
He obeyed slowly. Jim obediently opened his mouth to allow entrance to the ball of the gag, and Blair fastened it.
"Now you're going to free his legs, then roll him on his stomach. But be careful, Sandburg, my gun is pointed right at his head. He tries anything and you're both dead."
Blair untied Jim's ankles and was happy his friend didn't lay motionless but helped him to roll him on his stomach. "Now spank him!"
"What?" Blair asked, stunned.
"I said: spank him! Use your hand and give him a spank like the naughty boy he is!"
Blair breathed deeply and obeyed, raising his hand, and began to slap Jim's cheeks, taking care not to hit the butt plug.
"Use the paddle now! I want his ass to be as red as possible!"
Blair took the paddle in his hand and began to spank Jim, giving the impression he was hitting him hard but keeping his moves as soft as possible. But soon Jim's cheeks turned into a bright red as muffled cries began to echo in the factory.
"Harder, Sandburg!"
A sweaty Blair obeyed under the weapon's threat. He was conscious now that Jim was really suffering from his spanking, but he had no choice. He could see his partner clenching all his muscles to avoid moaning aloud.
Kincaid zoomed on Jim's ass with a hideous smile. "I like that!" With a feverish look in his eyes he ordered Blair, "And now."
Blair's eyes caught something on the next table and suddenly interrupted Kincaid.
"Listen man, I really need a break. And I'm thirsty! Please let me drink something!"
"There is beer on the table. Drink and come back! If you do exactly what I say, if you're cooperative, I will let you put your clothes on before calling the media!"
"Okay, that works for me," Blair replied, as if he only thought of himself.
He slowly got up, and walked quietly to the table. He poured himself a big glass of beer.
"Drink out of the bottle, you little precious thing!" Kincaid said with scorn.
"Sorry man, I never do that, it's just disgusting. I don't know where that bottle's been."
"Well aren't you a little la-di-da!"
v Blair walked towards him slowly, gesturing with his left hand as his right one was firmly clenched on the glass of beer.
"Look, Kincaid, I don't want to share his humiliation. I've done nothing against you. I'll do what your want, but I want to have my clothes on when the media gets here."
"I told you, humiliate him, and you'll be decent when they'll arrive!"
"Good!" Blair answered with a nod. And without any warning, he tossed the beer to Kincaid's face. The man yelled out in pain as the alcohol burnt his eyes. Blair punched him, putting his whole heart in that blow, the best of his life. Kincaid's head was snapped back, and his whole body bucked back against the wall. His back hit the wall, then his head that was brutally rejected on his chest. Blair heard a loud crack, as Kincaid' body slid to the ground.
Blair jumped on him, ready to punch him again, but a quick glance at Kincaid made him understand that Kincaid was dead. He searched for his pulse but didn't find it.
"He's dead," he whispered. "He's dead!"
He sat on the ground, bowing his head on his knees. He stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to breathe, trying to slow down his heart that was pounding in his chest at an accelerated rate, before being able to get up. He tried once again to find Kincaid' pulse, but failed. The man was definitely dead. He had killed him.
A muffled cry brought him back to present time. He walked toward Jim who was fighting against his bounds, and began to remove the gag.
"He's dead, big guy. It's over, we're free. He's dead," he said incoherently.
He freed Jim's hands, and saw the grimace of pain when his friend tried to move his arms.
"Wait, Jim, I'm going to give you a rub," he said, stopping his friend's movements.
Gently he quickly massaged the sore muscles. "Jim, please, talk to me," he whispered. "I'm sorry Jim. I had no other choice than to obey him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm."
He couldn't continue his litany because Jim's strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him against the bigger man's chest.
"Don't worry, Chief, you did the right thing," Jim reassured him in a hoarse voice. "He would have killed me, Blair. You did the right thing. I will survive, don't worry. Just help me to remove this thing. It hurts like hell!"
"'Course, Jim, I'll do it in a minute," Blair replied, patting his friend's head.
His heart was singing that Jim was so comprehensive, that Jim understood despite the pain and the humiliation that Blair had had no choice, that he didn't want to hurt his friend. He first unwrapped the leather straps from Jim's intimate parts, then grabbed the dildo, but Jim's muscles had clenched around it.
"Relax Jim, I can't remove it," Blair whispered.
"I'm trying," Jim replied.
"Okay, it slid a little. I'm going to move it, to push it then to pull it away," Blair explained.
He pushed the huge thing a little then pulled it away, repeating the same gesture. After a few minutes the dildo was out of Jim's body and Blair again gave the bigger man's hips and thighs a quick rub.
"Are you able to walk?" he asked with concern.
"I will," Jim replied, grabbing his clothes.
They both dressed in silence, then Jim caught the camera and removed the videotape. He crushed it between his strong hands and put it in his pocket.
"Blair, we had to talk," he said softly.
"I'm listening, Jim," his friend replied.
"We have two choices," Jim began. "One I can phone Simon and report to him what happened. In that case, even dead, Kincaid wins. Two, we can make sure nobody ever finds out what happened here."
Without any hesitation, Blair asked, "What about a good fire to destroy the clues?"
Jim smiled. "Thanks, Chief. It's the second time today you saved my life."
First Jim took a piece of tissue and brushed all the surfaces he could remember him or Blair had touched. Then he took all the things Blair had used on him, the dildo, the leather straps and the paddle, the lube, and put them back into the bag. Then he carefully looked at Kincaid' body, using his sentinel abilities then nodded.
"It's very simple, Blair. Kincaid lived here. He was drinking beer. He bumped into that case, and smashed his head against the wall, that killed him. But he was smoking a cigarette too. The cigarette fell into the pool of beer and caused the fire. This set fire to these old tissues here, and the whole factory burned. Easy."
Blair nodded. Jim resumed, " How did you get here? I thought your car wasn't working"
"By bus."
"Great. Go to my truck and wait for me. I'll take care of a few things and then I'll be there in a few minutes."
Blair went to the truck, happy that it was new moon this night and the whole parking lot was very dark. The fresh air on his face made him shiver. Now he was alone and almost safe, he thought he would have to deal with Jim's feelings. He hoped Jim would understand he had forced him only to keep them alive.
When Jim reached the truck Blair saw the first flames from the factory. Jim started up without any further comments, driving faster than usual. He suddenly stopped in front of a Chinese restaurant.
"Some people could have seen us go out tonight," he explained to Blair when he came back with a full bag of ready-cooked meals. "And more, I'm hungry."
Blair didn't reply. The more the time passed, the more afraid he was; afraid that suddenly Jim burst into rage; afraid to lose his friendship. Nevertheless he waited that they were both in the security of the loft before trying to talk.
"Listen, Jim..."
"Stop, Chief. The only thing I want right now is a shower. Then we'll talk," Jim said, putting a friendly hand on his partner's shoulder.
Blair took a shower too and joined Jim in front of the fireplace, only clad like him in his bathrobe, his hair still damp. Jim had reheated the Chinese food in the microwave and they began to eat in silence until Blair sighed.
"Okay Jim, yell. Hit me if you want but please talk!"
Jim looked at him with surprise then smiled, "I'm not mad at you, Chief. You did the right thing at the right time. Believe me, Chief, it could have been worse. Before you arrived, I think I was about to die. I've never been so scared into my whole life. That guy was crazy. You were really great when you threw your glass of beer at him."
"It's what happened before my heroic gesture that bothers me," Blair replied bitterly.
"You had no choice, Chief, and I'm the one who should feel guiltly. You were caught in the middle of something that wasn't your business, just because you're my friend. And for that, I don't know how to apologize."
"How to apologize?" Blair exclaimed. "Jim, I. I forced you! I..." he couldn't say the word rape. "I humiliated you! I'm the one who is guilty. I should have refused from the start."
"And then you and me wouldn't be here but dead in the factory. Or Kincaid would have called Simon and threatened him. Listen to me, Blair," Jim said firmly grabbing his partner's shoulders, "you acted the right way. I'm safe, you're safe, and that is the most important."
"Jim, what about you?" Blair whispered, lowering his eyes. "After all, you were forced to have sex with another man."
"That applies equally to you, Blair," Jim responded softly. "Do you think... do you think you can deal with that without speaking to a shrink?"
"Don't worry about me," Blair replied. "I'm stronger than you think. And you?"
"I can deal with that," Jim said. "You know, Chief, at first, I thought I wouldn't live to see another day. So when I understood that it was only. non-consensual sex, I felt relieved. When you escape from a dangerous situation like that unharmed... you don't give a damn if you're stark naked in front of the entire town. You're just glad to still be breathing."
Blair nodded. He was relieved Jim took the whole situation so well, but he couldn't help but think that neither him nor Jim talked about the fact they were both aroused. In fact Blair had to admit that if the gun hadn't been pointed right at Jim's head, he would have totally enjoyed the evening. And this thought deeply disturbed him.
Blair stretched and yawned. "I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted," he said. He got up, and patted Jim's shoulder. "Good night."
Jim sat alone in front of the fireplace, letting his gaze wander in the flames, hearing his partner's breathing becoming regular as he fell asleep. Jim closed his eyes, but immediately he was back in the factory, and Blair's luscious mouth was on his arousal. Jim came back to present and breathed deeply, trying to calm the sudden hardness of his cock. 'I need a good night of sleep on this,' he thought.
He suddenly heard whimpers and moans from Blair's bedroom and hurried into the dark room. Blair was caught in the middle of a nightmare. Jim sat on the bed and took him in his arms. "Wake up, Chief, it's only a dream," he whispered, gently shaking his friend.
Blair opened his eyes and sighed in relief, "Oh God, Jim, I dreamt you were caught in the fire, you couldn't escape cause you were still bound to the bed."
"Don't worry, Chief. Thanks to you, I'm safe and alive," Jim reassured him, hugging him closer.
He stroked the riotous curls, and on an impulse, kissed Blair on the forehead, before leaving a trail of kisses from his brow until the end of the nose. Blair giggled and smiled. At the sight of the sensuous lips, Jim couldn't help but brush his mouth against Blair's. The young man parted his lips, and Jim slid his tongue in his friend's moist cavern, licking at the passage at the full lips. Then his tongue met Blair's and he jumped a little at the contact.
This time they weren't threatened. Jim wasn't bound to a bed. They were both free and they kissed because they wanted it. And they liked it. Jim felt Blair's hands sliding in his short hair, stroking his neck, responding fully to his kiss. When they pulled away, they smiled at each other. Jim didn't want to think.
"Stay with me," Blair whispered.
Jim nodded and stripped from his bathrobe before sliding under the warm covers. He hugged Blair, pulling the younger man as closely as he could, and Blair snuggled against him. Soon regular breathing indicated to Jim his Guide was asleep again. Jim smiled into the dark. He felt good.
The next morning, Jim woke up first and wondered what he was doing in Blair's bed. Then he remembered and he gasped. The previous day's events seemed so weird! He got up without awakening the younger man, and went to the bathroom. While he was showering he decided that the best thing he could do was to avoid mentioning the previous night's events. It had been a weird evening, and for the sake of their friendship, it would be better if they both forgot what happened.
When Blair finally awoke, he seem to come to the same conclusion. They ate breakfast without mentioning any references to the previous night. They acted as if nothing had happened.
=*=*=*=*=*=*=
Fortunately nobody at the police station thought that the fire was other than accidental. Simon closed the file two days later. Kincaid had threatened his son in the past and he wasn't going to mourn for him. Jim was deeply relieved. It was the only time he talked to Blair about the famous evening. And then, he just said that Simon had closed the factory fire file. Blair nodded and that was all.
Jim had burnt the remains of the tapes and the bag with the 'toys' himself. Thinking of that, he couldn't help but internally blush. He had burned the dildo, the leather straps and the paddle, but not the tube of lube that was now secured in his nightstand.
Jim couldn't understand why he had done that. Why the hell did he have to keep that damn lube? He also couldn't understand why Blair now bothered him. Jim didn't miss one occasion to touch him, putting a hand on his shoulder, on his back, touching his hair, being closer than before, invading Blair's personal space. He wasn't able to count the number of times he accidentally brushed against Blair's body in the kitchen.
And he preferred not to think to the night he woke up Blair's name on his lips, his fist wrapped around his hard cock, his stomach sticky. After three weeks he decided to take some sleeping pills. It was only stress, he said to himself. Nothing more. He needed some sleep and a beautiful woman to date.
One evening he felt asleep with this reassuring thought only only to be awakened by muffled cries coming from downstairs. He hurried out of his bed and entered Blair's bedroom. The younger man was wriggling in his tangled covers, caught in a deep nightmare where Jim could hear him mumble words about fires and being bound.
He sat down on the bed and gently shook Blair. "It's a nightmare, Chief. Wake up!" he whispered softly to his Guide. He felt Blair awaken and patted his back. "Better?"
But Blair's face was as white as a ghost, and he was shaking. "Since that evening," he answered in a low voice, "I have this nightmare almost every night." And suddenly tears began to leak on his cheeks and Jim hugged him closely, stroking the riotous black curls of his friend.
"Don't worry, Chief, I'm safe and alive. Perhaps you should talk to someone about your nightmares. No need to tell the truth... if you don't want to."
But Blair shook his head and Jim released him a little, facing him, framing his partner's face in his strong hands. They looked at each other and suddenly, it was like time had stopped. Slowly Jim bent over and brushed his lips against Blair's, who wrapped his arms around Jim's neck as they kissed so gently and so tenderly that the younger man felt lost in an ocean of happiness.
When they separate, Jim made a move to get up, and Blair stopped him. "Don't leave me!" he nearly begged.
Jim smiled. "I'll stay with you. But upstairs. We'll be more comfortable."
Blair's eyes opened wide at the clear invitation and he smiled. He jumped to his feet, grabbed his bathrobe and followed Jim to the older man's bed. Jim was already back under the covers and Blair stripped from his bathrobe, hesitating.
"Come here Blair," Jim encouraged him. "You're going to get cold."
Blair smiled a bit hesitantly and joined his friend under the warm covers. He hadn't time to wonder if he would dare to sink into Jim's embrace because the Sentinel brought him against him and Blair never expected it would feel so good to have his face resting on Jim's muscled chest with Jim's arms around him.
"Night, Chief," Jim whispered.
"Night," Blair answered, not very sure if he was awake or just deep in a wonderful dream.
It was the rain pouring outside and slamming against the windows that woke Jim up the next morning. He stretched, and feeling a warm body against his, smiled. Blair. He finally admitted to what he was afraid to say for so long. He was attracted to the younger man.
Jim Ellison had always thought that he was born straight and would die straight. He had never been attracted to men. Until Blair entered his life. Blair and his baby-blue eyes, his exotic curls, his hairy chest and this cute glasses that always threaten to slide to the tip of his nose. Blair and his spicy smell, mixed with herbal soap perfume. Blair and his neverending talks. Blair's intelligence. Blair's friendship.
Jim knew that the younger man was bi. He had smelled both female and male fragrances on him when he came back from dates, even if Blair had always been very discreet about his male partners.
"I love him," Jim whispered to himself.
"I love you, too," Blair answered in a low voice. Jim became aware that his Guide was awake and smiled in the dim light. "You're not shocked?" he asked.
"Shocked, no. Surprised, yes!" Blair answered. "I knew I was in love with you when I began to have all these nightmares. But I would have sworn that you'd never respond to my love."
"It surprises me, it frightens me a bit," Jim admitted, "but I can't hide my feelings anymore. I don't know where we're going; chief, but I love you. I know that for sure."
"And." Blair's voice prompted.
"You're going to have the heavy responsibility of initiating me to gay sex," Jim smiled. "Apart from our little impromptu, I'm not especially experienced."
"And you're not afraid?" Blair asked, surprised.
"No. I trust you. I don't know how to explain that, Chief, but I feel good this morning. I feel relaxed; I feel an inner peace denied to me for a long time. I love you, I trust you to lead us through the physical part of our new relationship, and I don't care about the consequences."
Blair sat up on the bed and smiled. " Jim since you're in such a good mood, why don't we start right now?"
"Why not?"
Blair smiled and bending over, kissed Jim with all the enthusiasm and the sensuality of his inner nature. When he broke the kiss, he slowly stripped from his tee shirt and boxers and Jim opened the nightstand drawer and took the lube. They both smiled. The Sentinel took off his blue boxers and lie naked on the warm sheets, waiting for Blair to initiate their lovemaking.
Jim noticed that the total trust that he had in his Guide was making said Guide a little nervous. But Blair was hiding it well. Blair sat down on the bed, then leant down against him, brushing his cheek against his, before kissing him shyly on the lips. At the feeling of Blair's naked body against his, Jim's cock twitched. Blair's mouth pressed against Jim's again, and this time the bigger man couldn't help but hug Blair and slide his fingers into his friend's cascade of curls. His lips parted, allowing entrance of Blair's tongue. The first contact sent a shiver down his hard shaft and he moaned. He hugged Blair tightly, moving Blair on top of him, as they kissed carnally.
Jim could smell Blair's pheromones and he could feel the younger man's hard cock against his stomach. He felt both happy that Blair could desire him so much and a bit frightened. As if he had felt it, Blair finally broke the kiss, breathing heavily, his moist lips parted, his blue eyes filled with desire.
"Jim, if you want to stop..." he began.
The older man didn't reply. He just grabbed Blair's shoulders and kissed him again senseless, rubbing his body against the smaller man's. "I love you," he whispered when his lips gave up Blair's. He gently knocked Blair on the bed, whispering in his ear, "I want to touch you everywhere, Chief. I want to know how your skin tastes and smells inch by inch."
At these words, Blair's cock jumped and he moaned, spreading his legs wide, wanting Jim's mouth and fingers everywhere. Jim first licked at his nipples, working the small buds until they turned hard, as his hand lazily stroked the younger man's flat stomach. His mouth quickly followed. He knew what he wanted. He wanted to taste Blair. He rubbed his nose against the patch of brown curls before slowly licking the hard cock that was begging for attention. Blair gave a muffled cry when the hot mouth engulfed his manhood. He was too close. Jim understood it and gently pressed his sac, releasing the pressing. He hadn't finished what he wanted to do. He left Blair's cock to plug his head between the younger man's thighs. He was nearly overwhelmed by the other man's aroused scent. He gently kissed his sac, licking to taste it, then he concentrated on Blair's puckered opening. He remembered how wonderful it felt when Blair had fucked him with his tongue.
His tongue circled the small ring of muscles, before darting and entering Blair. The young man cried out loud, begging for more. Jim wrapped his fist around Blair's hard shaft, while his tongue was slowly moving in his friend's tight channel. Blair's breath was now coming in gasps, as pleasure slowly grew up in his groin. His hands were clenching the sheets, his open mouth trying to catch some air.
"Jim..." he whispered in a husky voice he didn't recognize.
Jim's fist sped up around Blair's cock as his tongue went further and Blair came, hard, violently, in white hot pleasure that shook him like a hurricane, making him cry as his body ached against Jim. It was not until Blair's climax had ended that Jim slowly let his tongue return to his mouth, eliciting a new moan from his partner. Then he licked the younger man's stomach clean, tasting his spicy seed. Then he laid down on the bed, taking Blair in his arms.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, without speaking. It was too soon. Jim gently teased Blair's cock, which hardened again. Jim's own cock was rock hard. They looked at each other and they both understood they thought. Jim stretched his arm and opened the nightstand's drawer. Now he knew why he had kept that damn lube. He blushed as he realized that this was what he was hoping would happen between the two of them since the beginning. He handed the tube to Blair who looked at him expectantly.
"I thought you wanted me to be... you would be on top."
"In the factory you were on top and it was great," Jim explained. "In my fantasy you're the one who takes me."
Blair smiled and Jim rolled onto his stomach as his partner slid a pillow under his hips. Jim stayed on his knees, his head pillowed on his arms, offering his bottom to Blair's desire. He felt the younger man leave a trail of kisses from his neck to his ass, and moaned when he understood what Blair was about to do. He relaxed his muscles to allow entrance to Blair's soft tongue. He moaned under the exquisite torture but soon he stopped his friend, "Stop Chief, I'm too close. I want you in me."
Blair obeyed and took the tube of lube, generously coating his fingers. He gently stretched Jim, moving quickly because he saw the older man was close to coming. Then he coated his cock, before pushing it in Jim. The older man was so relaxed it slip into him easily and soon Blair thrust hard, wrapping his fist around Jim's cock, who moaned under the ministration. Jim was in heaven. This is what he wanted the most, feeling Blair in him, Blair taking him, Blair connected to him in the most intimate way. Now they were one.
"Harder!" he begged.
He hadn't time to say more when Blair's cock hit his prostate, sending him over the edge. He shot his semen as he felt his own channel filled with Blair's come. They both cried under the sensation, climax hitting them full force, leaving them limp. Blair just collapsed on his lover's body, unable even to withdraw.
He finally managed to move and to lie down beside Jim. Now that the sexual tension was over, neither Jim nor Blair dared to speak. They didn't want to break the mood.
Jim was lost in his thoughts. When he had been trapped in the factory, he had first been scared to death. He had been sure he was about to die. When he had understood that Kincaid only wanted to humiliate him using Blair and sex, he had felt relieved. After all the ordeals he had gone through, as a soldier in Peru, as a Sentinel learning to deal with his senses, he could deal with non-consensual sex. He had known for certain that Blair would never really hurt him. And he had thought the most important was to get out of the factory alive. He had thought he could handle it. But he had never thought he would enjoy it.
Then the shame had come. He had been ashamed to enjoy it, to have climaxed so hard. He had been afraid of what Blair was going to think of him. But he had then seen that Blair had enjoyed it too, and was ashamed too. Then he had acted in a typical Jim's way, denial. He had denied his feelings. He had denied the fact he would die for another night with Blair, because he had thought it was the best for both of them.
And now he was in bed with Blair, they had made love, and he had enjoyed every minute of it. And now he could admit deep in his heart that he loved Blair Sandburg more than life itself.
Blair was cold. Despite the warm covers over him, despite Jim's body close to him, he was frozen. He had waited for long minutes, hoping that Jim would take him in his arms, would whisper in his ear the words he waited for. But nothing happened. Jim stayed quietly on his back, without moving. Blair wondered if Jim regretted what had just happened.
Blair had hoped so much for this night. He remembered how tender Jim had been during the night after the factory. He had woken him up so gently, taking him in his arms before giving him the softest of the kisses. Blair had known since that time he was in love with Jim. In a typical Blair way, he had analysed his feelings for his best friend. The night in the factory was only a catalyst. It had shown both men there was more than friendship between them. Blair had easily recognized he was in love with his very male roommate. It didn't bother him to love another man. But he knew too that everything in Jim's life, his education, the army, his own vision of life, was against that love.
He decided it was useless to torture himself. He sat up, mumbling, "I'm going to take a shower."
He wanted to take his boxers but Jim's hand on his arm stopped him.
"Stay," Jim said in a whisper. "Stay, please, Blair." He kissed his friend on the neck, on the shoulder, then said in a low voice, "I love you, Blair."
Blair swallowed hard, then asked, "You said it before. Do you still think it?"
"Yes. I love you. I'm confused, I don't know how I'm going to deal with that, but really I don't care," Jim replied honestly.
Blair turned back slowly and grabbed Jim's face between his hands, then kissed him lightly on the lips.
"I love you too, Jim," he whispered.
The rain was pouring more and more outside, but the lovers didn't care. They felt good in the heat of their love, and nothing else mattered. They knew their love would change everything in their lives. But tomorrow was another day.
THE END