TITLE: Character Gripes
AUTHOR: PEJA
RATING: NC-17, for sexual discussion
FANDOMl The Sentinel/X-Files/LA Heat/Blake 7 X-over
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This piece is in answer to a challenge asking for a conversation between the author and the characters. Just a bit of silliness that burst into my mind at first sight of the challenge.
The discussions between characters refer back to stories they have participated in and which can be found either on my site or Belynda's Slash Archive.
SUMMARY: Jim is angry when Blair is paired with another.
AUTHOR'S WEBSITE: http://internetdump.com/users/daltonavon
EMAIL: daltonavon@yahoo.com
FEEDBACK: Seldom received, but very much appreciated.
ARCHIVE: Yes to list archive, anyone else ok, but let me know where it's going.
Jim Ellion blew into the study with the force of a hurricane, slamming the door behind him and stalked across the room, stopping at the small woman's desk to glower down on her for a full minute. He whirled around and stomped to the butter soft, black leather sofa, slouching down into the sweet smelling softness. One long arm snatched up the contrasting vanilla lace throw pillow. He punched mercilessly at it until it threatened to burst under his punishing blows.
Sighing, the tiny woman rotated around to face him full on. "Well?"
Jim glowered at her, slumping farther down into the sofa and ducked his chin into the crushed pillow
"Jim, what's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Tell that to my pillow, pet. What's bothering you?"
He tilted his shorn head on the brutalized pillow. "You love Blair more then me."
The woman stared at the gorgeous man pouting across the room from her. "I what?"
"You love Blair more than me," he repeated.
"I see," the woman said, resting her chin on a fist. "What brought this on, Jim?"
The Sentinel glowered.
"Jim."
His blue gaze misted. "You gave him to....to.....to....."
"Me?" Alex Krycek sauntered bold as brass out of his cubby and propped a lean hip on the corner of the woman's desk. "Hey, what you know about the net isn't worth discussing, is it now? You couldn't do the job this time. Chill."
Jim shot to his feet, hands curled into tight fists. "You cyber sexed my lover."
"And did a damn fine job of it too, if I'm any judge." Alex cooed. "Hell, man, your Blair is as big a slut as I am. Likes his sex kinked."
Blair bounded forth, parking his sexy bod between the two snarling men. "I beg your pardon, Alex. Let's not get rude here, man. I sure as hell haven't done anything as kinked as the mistress' latest couple. Those two, Chase and August, aren't they, are into food sex. All I did was cyber. All in the mind, man. It's like watching a porno flick, Jim. No harm. No foul."
"Down, Blair." Jim threw himself at his smaller partner, knocking him from his feet as a jar of chocolate sauce sailed past where his curly head had been seconds ago. A jar that was followed by a bottle of marshmallow crème.
"Don't knock it til you've tried it, hippy boy." Chase McDonald emerged from his area, suckling a heavily marshmallow crème coated finger attached to his beautiful dark skinned partner.
"What have you two been doing back there?" the woman demanded, "I don't have you down for a session for a couple days. No playing without the mistress, pets."
"Chase was feeling tense," August protested. "Didn't you watch today's show. He hasn't been getting any. Even that demented cousin of his, Treat was getting more than our poor little rich boy. I thought I'd make his day. And save my life. He's careless..dangerous when he'd horny"
Chase grinned widely. "Whatever gets me horizontal, lover," he murmured, nuzzling his lover's neck. "Taste sweet as the marshmallow."
"Chase, behave yourself," the woman snapped. "You could have seriously hurt Blair throwing those bottles at his head.
"What, with his Blessed Protector on duty?" Chase snorted. "I doubt it."
"What do you want with them anyway?" Jim demanded, cuddling his precious guide . "We were doing just fine before they came along. Now you're spending all your time with them. I want to play with Blair, not wait in the shadows while those two get all the action. And then you bring in that....." He waved an angry hand at Alex. "That.....that.....rat. Hell, he isn't even one of us."
"Jim, you are behaving very badly." the woman said softly. "You don't see Avon and Vila throwing a tantrum.
"That's because we are more evolved than the others. Mistress." Avon said, plopping down on the sofa that Jim had left in favor of the Blair-padded floor, and dragging his beloved wily thief down with him. "Many centuries more evolved."
"Are you calling us primitive," Alex demanded, drifting slowly to his feet.
"If the shoe fits," Vila returned. "Look at you, getting all violent over a simple comment."
"I fight aliens like you for a living, golden boy. I know where to put the ice pick, so you damn well better watch your back."
"Alex," the woman snapped. "Avon and Vila are as human as the rest of you. Don't threaten them or you'll be put back in your cage permanently."
"Yes, mistress." Alex looked appropriately contrite for a second, before his dazzling smile revealed the lie.
The woman chuckled, feeling indulgent towards her newest pet. "Just remember we're all one happy family here, boys, and we'll get along just fine."
"Mistress?" Alex said.
"Hm?"
"Mistress, I'm kind of odd man out here. The third wheel, if you know what I mean."
"You are lonely?"
"Yes, mistress. Doesn't look like the others are too willing to do a threesome. Do you think.."
The tiny woman smiled. "But of course, pet."
Fox Mulder appeared from the ether, wrapping his long arms around his lover. "Miss me, ducks?"
Krycek groaned, turning in the embrace and dived in for a kiss that would melt the sun. "More than you know, Fox. More than you know."
The woman glanced around her study at the unruly couples and grinned. From the moans and groans and flying bits and pieces of cloth, it looked very much like her darling boys were too busy to continue this gripe session.
Shutting off the computer, she rose and picked her way out of the study, pausing only long enough to hear Jim's, "Where the hell did that chocolate sauce end up?"