Three Little Birds

Part 21

By Zen&nancy

Duncan rolled over, one hand reaching out to silence the alarm clock. For a second, his arm groped for Blair in the bed, until he remembered that his lover wasn't there. Duncan rolled back onto his stomach, sighing. Blair was downstairs with Jim.

Had he made the right decision when he'd sent Blair down to Jim last night? Duncan thought about Blair's complicated relationship with the Sentinel, wondering if they had been able to get past Jim's dangerous zone outs on his Guide's touch. It had been easy to send Blair down to Jim last night, but waking up without him wasn't.

Duncan reminded himself that this was part of who Blair was. It had been his idea, not Blair's, and whatever came of it, he was going to have to accept it. Blair loved him, of that he was sure, but his attraction to Jim was instinctual, physical. Duncan decided that he was going to have to put his trust in Blair, and his natural ability to keep a balance in this delicate situation.

Like Jim, he didn't really have any choice. He wouldn't see Blair suffer because of his love for him, or his pride, more accurately. He couldn't ask Blair to choose between Jim and himself, not only because he was afraid of what Blair's choice might be, but because he couldn't cause Blair that much pain. Blair loved him deeply, and Duncan knew that if Blair had to leave him it would rip his lover apart. However, Duncan thought that if Jim's life hung in the balance, Blair just might leave him.

He couldn't force Blair to choose, and he couldn't watch him make himself miserable trying to resist the bond with the Sentinel. So, the alternative, the only realistic solution, was to share him. Duncan sighed, rolling to sit on the edge of the bed. He knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but they'd all been doing everything they could to make it work so far, and he had faith in Blair.

He pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a thermal shirt for running in the cold rain that was slanting against the window. Taking his keys and wallet from the dresser, he stopped in the kitchen for a glass of water before going to the elevator. He hesitated a moment before he pulled the gate, not at all sure that he was ready to face Jim. He sighed heavily, reminding himself that Blair would be counting on him to make this morning as relaxed as possible.

Jim opened his eyes slowly, breathing in the scent of his Guide next to him in the bed. Blair was sprawled out on his stomach, one arm flung out over Jim's chest, his fingertips resting lightly on his shoulder. Jim had slept deeply, conscious of the feel of his Guide against him even in his sleep. Blair was a restless bed mate, kicking the covers off and dragging them back up several times in his sleep. He shifted almost constantly, but he never broke contact with Jim, his hand had stayed on his chest all night long.

Jim let his eyes drift slowly over Blair's body. He had the covers bunched up around his waist, the sharp curve of his hip bone was just barely visible above the comforter. He was beautiful. The quiet strength of Blair's body had always impressed him. People never noticed how strong his Guide really was. Everyone saw Blair as an academic first, the things he said always made the strongest first impression, except maybe for his pretty face. His Guide's body was well muscled and strong for his size, and also incredibly resilient. Jim had seen him get hurt so many times, and Blair would bounce right back, his enthusiasm and determination unflagging.

Jim let his eyes wander over the smooth, golden skin of Blair's back, focussing his vision to memorize every line and variance of pigment. Blair's thick hair fell over his shoulders, a few of the long curls falling into his face. Jim brushed them back gently, and Blair smiled in his sleep.

He looked up at the radio alarm clock on the bedside table. It was only 6:13, he had almost an hour before MacLeod would come down to get him. For a moment, Jim wondered if he would, then he decided that he'd be ready to go if Mac decided to show.

Blair sighed, his fingers moving lightly over Jim's shoulder, a rapid, unconscious scratching motion. It was incredibly familiar, Blair's hand would clutch at the shoulder of his coat or his sleeve, twisting the material unconsciously whenever they were in dangerous or uncertain situations. Jim remembered Blair leading him out of the bar last night, and how the small hand clutching his coat sleeve had brought back a wash of memories. Then it had hurt, a twist of the knife in his gut, but now it made him smile, picking up the hand to interlace their fingers.

Jim shifted carefully onto his side, pulling Blair back against him with an arm around his waist. Blair twisted restlessly in his arms for a moment, then he settled, spooning himself against his chest. Jim sighed, closing his eyes to bury his face in Blair's mass of curls. He wanted to stay here, just like this, for the rest of the day. He didn't want to think about facing Duncan, or anything that would happen after this, he just wanted to stay here with Blair wrapped up in his arms.

All of his instincts said to take his Guide as far away from Duncan MacLeod as possible, but he couldn't do that. He knew he couldn't, no matter how badly he wanted to keep Blair exactly where he was, held reverently in his arms. It was because of Duncan that Blair was here at all, if what Blair had told him last night was really true. All his senses and instincts told him to do whatever necessary to keep Blair for himself. To beg Blair to stay, to fight Duncan, or to find a way to make Blair believe leaving his lover was the only solution, but his emotions and his rational mind knew he didn't want to do any of those things. What Duncan had done for him was more than anyone else ever had, save for his Guide, and he truly admired him and cared about him.

No matter what happened, he knew he wouldn't regret what he and Blair had done last night. Nothing had ever felt anywhere near as good as Blair did in his arms. Lying here now, perfectly content, listening to Blair's light, even breath, Jim couldn't even imagine what about this had disgusted him when they were drunk that night in Cascade. It seemed like a very, very long time ago. It wasn't, it was less than six months ago, but almost everything had changed. Everything except the fact that he needed his Guide, that would never change.

Jim let himself hold Blair for another ten minutes, his fingers stroking slowly through the messy curls. He inhaled his Guide's scent, letting it envelop him, his ears tuned to the familiar patter of Blair's heart. It felt so right, to be curled protectively around Blair's naked body like this. It surprised him a little, just how happy it made him to have Blair's back pressed close against his chest, Blair's legs curled up around his.

Jim heard Duncan's alarm go off upstairs, and released his Guide reluctantly, moving as quietly as he could to the other side of the bed. Blair rolled over, his arm reaching out towards Jim, but he didn't wake up. Jim was surprised. When they had lived together in Cascade Blair had always been such a light sleeper. Jim leaned down, pressing his lips lightly to the smooth forehead, brushing Blair's hair out of his face and pulling up the covers.

He went quietly into the bathroom to shave and brush his teeth. It looked cold outside, and it was raining. Pulling on sweat pants and a gray Army sweatshirt, Jim moved quietly into the kitchen. He pulled a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator, pouring himself a glass and chugging it in front of the open fridge. Putting the juice back, Jim caught the sound of Duncan's steps on the stairs above him. Taking a deep breath, he went to the door, unlocking it and cracking it open. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to say to Duncan, he wasn't even sure that he could handle seeing him. He didn't have a whole lot of choice though, Duncan's steps had reached the bottom of the stairs and turned down the hall.

Jim decided that if Mac could handle the idea of his company this morning, he was going to have to find the guts to face him. He opened the door, closing it quietly behind him just as Duncan stopped next to him.

"Good morning. Is he still asleep?" Duncan's voice was low and expressionless. Jim felt a strange and confusing mixture of anger, guilt and embarrassment wash over him, and he made himself answer to keep from zoning out on his own accelerated heart rate.

"Yeah, he is." He listened intently for a moment, wanting to hear Blair's heartbeat again.

Duncan took a deep breath, looking like he was about to speak, and then stopped, looking away from the closed door. Jim tried to make himself look Duncan in the eyes, and failed.

Duncan made himself try again, "Look, Jim... We don't have to talk about this now, okay? Let's just run."

Jim felt a grin spread across his face in spite of his discomfort. It helped to know that Mac was just as unsure of how to handle this as he was.

"Okay, let's go."

Jim passed the mile marker for the third time and dropped to a walk a few paces ahead of Duncan. He paused long enough for Duncan to catch up, falling in step beside him. They walked silently for a few minutes, both aware of the fact that they were going to have to talk now, but willing to put it off another minute or two.

"I think we can handle this, I really do." Duncan spoke first, his gaze directed at the trees along the path on Jim's right.

Jim turned to look at Duncan, unable to stop the rush of words that came out of his mouth, "Did you really tell him to come downstairs last night?"

Duncan nodded, "Yeah, I did."

"Why?"

Duncan sighed dramatically, looking away from Jim, "Because I don't want to see him miserable. Because I think that what's between you two is inevitable, and if I try to stand in the way of it I'm going to lose him." Duncan gave Jim a hard look, "I'm not willing to do that. I love him."

"I know."

Duncan's gaze was piercing, "Do you?"

"Yeah, I do," Jim spoke softly, letting the admission sink in. There was no point in denying it. He loved Blair. He probably always had.

"Are you going to try to take him away from me?"

"No."

"Good, then there's a solution."

"What?"

"I haven't the vaguest idea, but I'm sure there is one." Duncan grinned at Jim, and he smiled back.

"I think Sandburg's optimism must be catching. You're a good man, MacLeod."

"Maybe. Maybe I'm just selfish."

As strange as that sounded, Jim understood him. Duncan wasn't any more willing to live without Blair than he was. Jim took a deep breath, and turned to look Duncan in the eye.

"Mac... I told you a while ago that I don't want to be your enemy. Now, I want to be your friend. If that's going to happen, I have to be able to feel like I know who you are, I gotta be able to trust you. Do you understand what I'm saying, here? It's not that I don't trust you, but there's something that's bothering me, and I have to know what it is."

Duncan slowed his stride, looking at Jim apprehensively. Jim listened to his heartbeat, hearing the slight fluctuation that signaled distress.

"What do you want to know?"

"I have this feeling... There's something you're hiding, Mac. I'm not accusing you of anything here, but my gut says that there's a hell of a lot more to you than you show, and if I'm going to be able to deal with this situation, I gotta know what that is."

Duncan knew he couldn't tell Jim, but he thought about Blair, and how he would want him to answer.

"You're not wrong... Jim, you're a Sentinel. If you had let that become common knowledge while you were a cop in Cascade, it could have seriously compromised your life, right?"

Jim nodded, motioning to a bench and following Duncan over to sit next to him.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Well, it's kind of like that. I'm sorry, it's just not something I'm able to tell you... But I can swear to you that it's nothing that I will ever use against you. I know we're going to have to be honest with each other if we're going to find a way to make this work, but honestly Jim, this has nothing to do with that, it won't affect it, I promise."

Jim took a long time to think about what Duncan had said. He wasn't very happy with his answer, but he didn't want to be the one to turn this conversation into an argument. MacLeod was being honest with him, he was sure of that at least.

"You can't tell me? You're sure?"

"No, I'm sorry... Maybe someday."

Jim sighed, thinking that as much as he didn't want to, it seemed like he was going to have to accept Duncan's refusal. He reassured himself with the thought that it was very likely that he would figure it out, eventually. Whatever Duncan was hiding, his Sentinel abilities would discover it sooner or later, and when he did he would make MacLeod tell him the whole story.

"Okay, I guess I can deal with that. It's not like I've given you a whole lot of reasons to trust me..."

Duncan interrupted him, "Yes, you have. That's not it, Jim, not at all. If I didn't trust you, I never would have told Blair to go to you last night. It doesn't have anything to do with trust... It's just not something I can discuss." Duncan tried to think of a way to put it that Jim could relate to. After all, Jim keeping his Sentinel abilities a secret wasn't that different from Duncan hiding his Immortality. "It could turn my life upside down."

That, Jim decided, he could understand. He was going to have to give Mac the benefit of the doubt, and wait for the answers to come on their own. He had no doubt that they would, eventually.

"Okay, I can accept that."

"Thanks, I know it's not easy... None of this is, but I think it's our only option."

Jim shook his head, still somewhat amazed by Duncan's acceptance. "I know you said that you don't want to have to see Blair unhappy, but Mac, I just don't know... How can you?"

Jim didn't finish his sentence, but he knew that Duncan would understand what he was asking.

"Because I know that it's about him being your Guide. I'm not saying it's not emotional, but the reason you're zoning is because you're both denying the attraction, and that's purely physical... I guess what I'm saying is that even if I can't totally understand the bond between you, I can respect it and understand that physical intimacy is a part of the connection. He needs you, Jim, as much as you need him. I don't know if you can see that, but I can, and I can't deny him anything he needs, I love him too much."

Jim didn't answer, he didn't know what to say. He could see that what Duncan had said was true, and it affected him deeply. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen anyone love the way Duncan loved Blair. It was more than he could do, if he were in Duncan's position, he was sure of that. Still, in spite of the impression Duncan's words had made on him, his first instinct was to do whatever he had to keep his Guide. Duncan's first instinct was to do whatever was best for Blair.

"I think you're a much better man than I am, Mac," Jim spoke his thought aloud, wanting Duncan to know how much he respected what he was doing for Blair.

Duncan smiled wryly, thinking that actually, they were very much alike, it was just that he'd had a great deal more time to learn from his mistakes than Jim had.

"I think that Blair needs both of us, and if we love him, we'll try to make that happen."

Jim nodded slowly, "Okay, let's do that."

Jim unlocked the door, closing it quietly behind him. He went straight to the bed to look down at his sleeping Guide. Blair was curled up around Jim's pillow in the middle of the bed, the covers wrapped up around his waist again. A feeling so strong he couldn't name it welled up in Jim, and he dropped silently to his knees beside the bed. Blair's hand lay limply on the sheet, over the place his body had been. Jim's breath caught in his throat, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead on the edge of the bed.

Minutes passed, and Jim knelt beside his sleeping Guide, fighting down the painful urges. Watching Blair sleep in his bed, he wanted to take back every thing he'd said to Duncan. He wanted to take his Guide and go far away. The need to have Blair only for himself was pure, raw, intense possessiveness. He wanted to be able to do what Duncan was doing, and put Blair's needs first. He reminded himself of that over and over again, but it didn't stop the pain. Blair was his, his Guide, his friend. The one person he needed more than anything else to live, and he didn't want to have to share him with anyone. Jim sighed softly, knowing that this would be just as hard if Blair were in love with a woman. There was no point in lying to himself, he'd done enough of that to last a lifetime.

His Guide's sleepy voice startled him, and he looked up into squinted blue eyes.

"Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah," Jim moved to sit on the edge of the bed, "Good morning."

Blair smiled, reaching for Jim's hand, "Good morning. You went running?"

Jim nodded, "With Duncan."

"Was it okay?"

Jim took a deep breath, watching the eyes that studied him so carefully, "Yeah, it was okay. We talked a little."

Blair nodded slowly, aware of the fact that Jim didn't want to be talking about Duncan at all. He felt so attuned to his Sentinel, it was as if someone had flipped the switch, and electrified the link between them. "Okay, that's good. How are your senses?" Blair curled himself around Jim, moving his head into his lap.

Jim's hand smoothed Blair's messy hair, raking gently through the tangles. "They're fine," his voice was very gentle, his gaze moving slowly over Blair's face, wanting to memorize this moment and remember it forever. Blair looked so beautiful, so happy. His blue eyes stared up at Jim, full of adoration and concern.

"That's really cool." Blair smiled, asking more hesitantly, "How are you?"

"Happy," Jim leaned down, brushing his lips lightly over Blair's.

Blair's arms came up to wrap around his neck, pulling himself up to a sitting position in Jim's lap, while his lips returned the kiss softly.

"Me too."

Jim sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around his Guide. "Thank you." He whispered against Blair's hair, inhaling his scent greedily.

Blair hugged him tighter, shaking his head. "This is where I'm supposed to be."

Jim bit his lip, not letting himself speak. He wanted to say to Blair that if this was where he wanted to be, then he never had to go back to Duncan, that he was wanted and needed and would never be refused again. It was the hardest thing he'd even done, but Jim closed his eyes, and forced himself to release his tight hold on his Guide. His voice was soft, giving away none of the rebellion inside him, "Duncan said I should wake you up and bring you upstairs."

Blair smiled brilliantly, moving out of Jim's arms. "Okay. Oh yeah, that's right. Christmas shopping, I forgot. Cool."

Jim looked away from his Guide. Did Blair really expect him to spend the day with them? He didn't want to be around anyone, least of all Duncan. "Blair, I don't know if I can do that."

Blair turned back to Jim, putting a hand on his arm, "Jim, I know you don't want to, but it'd be really good... Please? Listen, if we're going to make this thing work we're all going to have to spend some time together. I really want you to come, I wanna be with you today. Please?"

Jim looked into wide, puppy dog eyes and sighed, knowing he'd already lost. There was no way he could refuse Blair when he looked at him like that. He never could. He wanted to be with his Guide too, but he didn't want to be with Duncan. He sighed, looking away, "Okay, Chief. If you want me to go then I will."

Blair threw his arms around Jim's neck, hugging him tightly, "Thanks, man. This is gonna work, really. I know we can handle this. I realize you're making a major effort here, big guy, and it means a lot to me."

Jim hugged Blair to him hungrily, thinking about what Duncan had said earlier. It did feel like the right thing to do, putting Blair's needs first. If only he didn't have to let go...

"We should go upstairs." Blair spoke quietly, his head on Jim's shoulder. A part of him didn't want to, it felt so right, to finally have Jim's arms around him.

"Okay. Let me take a shower, and I'll come up."

"Honest?"

"Yes. I said I'd go."

"I know, but you don't want to. Thank you." Blair spoke quietly, his head still on Jim's shoulder. He stayed there for another moment, letting himself relax completely against Jim's side.

"Sure I do," Jim smiled against the pain, pushing himself up off the bed. It was easier to pull away than to have to watch Blair get dressed and go. "I'll see you in few minutes," he told him, not letting himself look back at Blair, naked in his bed.

Once the bathroom door was safely shut, he slumped back against it, listening hungrily to the sounds of Blair getting dressed. Stop it! He told himself angrily, you're not losing him. It sure as hell felt like it, though.

Duncan was just stepping out of the bathroom when Blair came in. Blair rushed across the room and into his arms, Duncan hugging his lover tightly around the waist. Blair slipped his hands under Duncan's white terry cloth robe, his palms running greedily over his lover's back.

"Good morning," Duncan told him, laughing with the pure joy of having Blair wrapped around him.

"Morning. I love you," Blair mumbled against his bare chest, between kisses. Duncan's skin was still damp from the shower, and he smelled incredibly good. Blair nuzzled the warm skin, holding on tightly.

Duncan gathered Blair's hair away from his face to look at him. "How are you, Caro? Did everything work out okay?"

Blair blushed, pushing his face back into Duncan's chest. "Um, yeah, I think so. It was kinda rough for awhile, but we did... Sort of..."

"Hey, listen to me," Duncan tilted Blair's face up to look at him. "It's okay, really. We don't have to talk about it. I just wanted to make sure that you're all right. The rest is between you and Jim, okay?"

Blair looked up at him guiltily, "You mean you don't want to have to know, right?"

Duncan shook his head, smiling, "No, not at all. If you want to talk about it, that's fine, but if you don't, you don't have to tell me anything, okay?"

"Okay." Blair closed his eyes, leaning against Duncan. "It was, um, good. I think we're gonna get a handle on this zone out factor, I really do."

"That's good. I missed you," Duncan told him softly, without any trace of condemnation in his voice.

"Did you really?"

"Oh yes, Caro, very much. Where's Jim? He was supposed to wake you up and bring you upstairs."

"Taking a shower, he'll be up in a minute. So, you guys ran, did you talk?"

Duncan shook his head, smiling, "Uh-uh, this has to go both ways, or three ways, or whatever it is. I'm not going to tell you what Jim talked about this morning. If he didn't tell you, than he's not going to be comfortable with the idea of you and I discussing our conversation."

Blair pouted for only a second before he laughed. "And I thought I was going to be the moral one. Okay, I get it, fair's fair. But I do think that we're all going to have to work on striking a balance between privacy and communication here."

Duncan nodded, wondering if Blair had been any more successful in getting Jim to talk about how he felt than he had. He wouldn't let himself ask, and after a moment he forced his mind away from it, changing the subject.

"So, are we still going shopping today?"

"Yep, we are going to inflict ourselves on the malls. Think they're ready for us?" Blair grinned mischievously, going up on tiptoe to kiss him. It wasn't so much a kiss as a devouring of his lover's mouth. Duncan held still, pleasantly surprised by Blair's aggression.

A quick knock at the door interrupted them. Jim came in just as they were stepping away from each other. He stopped, three steps into the loft.

"Jim, stay, please?" Blair spoke quickly, certain that Jim was just about to turn around and walk right back out. He turned to look imploringly at him, taking a few more steps away from Duncan's side.

"Okay," Jim answered, one short, sharp word, but otherwise seemed to ignore his Guide's plea. He went to sit on the couch, his eyes on Duncan.

Duncan met his hard stare evenly, coming over to sit next to Jim in the chair. "We all need to talk about how we're going to deal with this, Jim."

"I don't think I can do that." Jim shook his head, looking away from Duncan. His eyes sought out his Guide, and Blair came to sit next to him.

"Okay, you can listen, then." Duncan didn't give Jim time to argue, "We can't all walk on egg shells around each other over this. The point here is for things to get better, less tension, not more."

Blair interrupted him, nodding in enthusiastic agreement, "Yeah man, we all feel awkward as hell here, but it's not going to get any better unless we talk."

Jim rolled his eyes, turning a little away from Blair and towards Duncan, meeting his dark eyes in a way that was almost a challenge. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"I want to know if you think you can handle this." Duncan told him honestly, meeting Jim's eyes squarely.

"Define 'this'," Jim's voice was less antagonistic, he sounded almost afraid to ask.

"Well, to put it bluntly, sharing Blair." Duncan gave Jim a wry grin.

Blair burst into nervous laughter, "Oh man, that is definitely blunt."

"No offense, Caro." Duncan smiled at his lover.

"None taken," Blair assured him, reaching tentatively for Jim's hand.

Jim squeezed Blair's fingers for a second before he pulled away, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands, covering his face. He laughed shortly, shaking his head. "This has got to be the weirdest damn situation I could possibly get myself into. How can you two just laugh about it? Can I handle it?" He raised his head to look Mac in the face, "I don't think I have any choice. It's not that I don't want to try to make this work, it just seems so..."

"Weird and new age and everything you hate?" Blair chimed in helpfully, grinning madly at Jim's attempt to frown at him.

His Sentinel gave up, grinning back. "Yeah, exactly."

Duncan's voice was decisive, "It's not. Look, Jim, this is the way I see it. We both have what amounts to a lifetime commitment to Blair, for very different reasons. I'm not going to give him up, and you can't. So, either we can kill each other, which we've already tried, or we can share."

"Duncan! I'm starting to feel like an old sweater here."

Duncan laughed, his eyes moving intimately over his lover, "Much more important than that, and far more appealing."

Jim leaned back heavily against the couch, watching Duncan through hooded eyes, "It's going to take me a while to get used to all of this, that's for sure."

Blair sighed in relief, sure that if Jim was willing to admit to the possibility, that it would happen. "We will. Do we, um, need to set any rules here, or are we going to try and deal one day at a time?"

Duncan frowned at Blair in confusion, "Rules?" He sounded baffled.

Jim shook his head, chuckling, "I couldn't even begin to think of any rules that would apply to this situation, Chief."

Blair's eyes widened, a huge smile spreading across his face, "This is a historic moment. Jim Ellison can't come up with any rules? This is momentous!"

"Cut it out, wise guy," Jim cuffed Blair lightly on the side of his head. It was the old gesture, and for a moment both of them stopped, sharing a complicated, silent look. Then Blair smiled, relief and pleasure spreading quickly over his features.

Duncan interrupted them gently, "Well, we all seem to be a little more comfortable. Breakfast?"

Jim stood up, needing to put a little distance between himself and Blair. He had been about to pull his Guide into his arms, when Duncan had broken into their silent conversation. "Yeah, I definitely need food if I'm going to survive the shopping mall."

"Okay, let me take a really quick shower and put on clean clothes and we'll go." Blair got up from the couch, going over to the dresser to pull out jeans and a t-shirt.

"So where you do want to go for breakfast Mac?" Jim asked, getting up from the couch.

"Let's go to Mitchell's, they make the best omelets and it's on the way to the mall." Duncan went over to his dresser, turning his back to Jim to pull on underwear and a pair of jeans. Zipping them up, he turned around again, losing the robe and going in search of a comfortable shirt to wear to the mall.

"Okay, sounds good. So do you and Sandburg have lists, or is this going to be a holiday shopping mall free for all?"

Duncan laughed at Jim's trepidation, "Don't worry, We've got a list. Two, actually, one for the party and one for friends, although we're going to have to make another for food, as soon as we figure out what we want for the party. Joe Dawson cooks this gigantic buffet, we do an early dinner thing at the bar Christmas day, but Blair was talking about cooking Christmas eve. You'll like Christmas at Joe's, it's usually a pretty big crowd, but it's really laid back."

"How long have you known Dawson, Mac?" Jim thought that Joe was an unlikely character to fill the role of Duncan's best friend. He was much older than Mac, and definitely from a very different background, but as soon as he'd met him he'd known that the two men were very close.

"Seven years, or something right around there," Duncan turned to smile at Blair as he emerged from the bathroom. "Hey, kiddo, you just about ready?"

Blair came over to steal one of Duncan's hair tie's from the top of his dresser. "Yeah, almost. I'm starving, where are we going?"

"Mitchell's, do you have the lists?" Duncan asked him, pocketing his wallet and car keys.

Blair went to the corner to rummage in his backpack, pulling out one notebook after another. "Yeah, I do... Somewhere. No, here it is," He ripped the perforated page out of the notebook, folding it to put in his back pocket, "Okay, got it." Going over to the couch, he sat down to put his shoes on, smiling up at Duncan and Jim, waiting for him near the elevator. "This is gonna be so much fun. I love buying presents, it's the best part."

"Sandburg, you are one of the few people on this earth that thinks going to the mall two Sundays before Christmas is the best part. You're nuts. It's gonna be a madhouse."

"Oh yeah, totally, that's half the fun, the chaos." Blair smiled at Jim confidently, "Don't worry, you'll be fine, I promise, I won't let you get lost."

Duncan cocked his head at Jim questioningly.

"Major crowd scenes aren't exactly my favorite. It gets a lot easier to zone when you multiply scents and sounds by the hundreds," Jim explained. He wasn't really too worried about it though, he knew Blair would be right there to pull him back if he did.

"Understandable. I didn't really think about it..." Duncan pulled on his trench coat, only letting himself worry for a moment about not bringing his sword. It had become his most difficult challenge, keeping his immortality from the extremely perceptive Sentinel. So far, he'd been lucky. The times that the three of them went out together, he'd left the katana at home, and had no need for it. Eventually, though, his luck was going to run out.

Blair stood up, his eyes flicking quickly from Duncan to the sheathed katana in it's place on the other side of the room next to the bed. "Are we ready?"

"Yep, let's go Chief."

On the way down to the dojo in the elevator, Blair turned to his lover, asking him urgently, "Did you remember the checkbook? I think you left it on your dresser."

Jim looked at his Guide, squinting his eyes at him. Blair was lying, or obfuscating, to be more accurate. The telltale, familiar fluctuation of his heart rate and the slightly increased speed of his words were a dead giveaway. What was Blair really trying to say? Did Blair want a minute alone to tell him something, or was it something he was trying to tell Duncan, that he didn't want to say in front of him?

"No, Caro, I've got it, no worries." Duncan put an arm around Blair's shoulders, squeezing reassuringly.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I thought I saw it there. That's cool." Blair looked up at Duncan meaningfully, trying to say with his eyes that he understood, but that he was still going to worry about it.

Jim briefly considered calling Blair on it. When caught, his Guide could usually be pressured into telling the truth. What stopped him was remembering what Duncan had said to him this morning. He wanted to know, very badly, but he decided that it wasn't worth ruining their day over. He had a feeling that when he did confront Blair in a way he couldn't obfuscate his way out of, it was going to make his Guide unhappy, and he didn't want to do that this morning. There was plenty of time to figure out Duncan MacLeod, this morning had been difficult enough without adding more stress for any of them to their day.

Breakfast was consumed around planning their trip to the mall. Blair had their lists spread out next to his plate and made rapid notes through the meal, questioning Duncan about decorations for the party and what sort of games they needed to buy.

Jim picked up the check, reminding them that the mall would only get more crowded as the day wore on.

"Let's go, Chief, pack it up, we want to get there before Christmas."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming." Blair stashed his pen in his pocket, letting Duncan pull him out of the booth.

Traffic backed up about a mile from Seacouver's largest indoor mall. Duncan sighed, putting the T-Bird in neutral and grinning at Jim in the passenger seat beside him, "This is what you were looking forward to, right kiddo?"

"Aw, come on, it's not that bad. Look, traffic's moving." Blair leaned over the front seat, pointing to the lane to their right.

"Sandburg, I appreciate that 'tis the season to be jolly', but any normal human being would not be happy right now. Nobody likes being stuck in traffic."

"Remember, Jim, it's that exact attitude that puts people into that 'Road Rage' state of mind."

"Yeah, well, that's why Mac's driving, Chief."

Duncan laughed, looking between them, "Why do I get the feeling there's a story here?"

Jim and Blair looked at each other, waiting to see who would start. Jim did, laughing ruefully. "There was this crackpot, got totally obsessed with screwing with my life. It all started because I cut him off in traffic one afternoon."

Blair gave Jim a reproachful look, interrupting, "Yeah, but Jim, if you hadn't have been so aggressive from the beginning with that guy, it might never have escalated to the point that it did."

Jim frowned, "Yeah, okay, Chief, so I was out of line. Couldn't help it though, I saw that asshole coming at your door and I snapped. I shouldn't have thrown him up against the truck, but he had it coming. He threatened you, and he pissed me off."

Blair smiled, understanding completely for the first time. "Blessed Protector. I should have figured that out then... Man, I was just like, totally missing the forest for the trees that week, you know?"

Jim nodded, thinking that Blair did seem to be under so much less stress here in Seacouver than he was in Cascade. Duncan interrupted his thought, turning to ask him, "So, what happened? What did this guy do?"

Jim laughed wryly, "Made my life a living hell for a solid week. Had my truck towed, got a pile of horse shit delivered to my loft, charged watches for the entire Major Crimes department on my credit cards, maxed them all out. Then he nearly got me killed when he blew my cover on the case I was working on."

Blair piped in from over Duncan's shoulder, "Don't forget the restraining order."

Duncan shook his head, laughing, "All this over a traffic squabble? You two are just magnets for trouble, that's all there is to it."

Jim laughed "Not me, man, it's Sandburg. My life was quiet before he barged into it. "Jim turned and looked out the window. "Too quiet," he added more seriously.

They'd finally crept up to the entrance to the mall, and Duncan sighed softly at the long line of cars just waiting to get into the parking lot.

"I see one, Mac, twelve rows in on the left, next to the blue truck!"

Duncan gave Jim a incredulous look, "I can't see that far, Jim."

Blair laughed, "Jim! There's got to be fifty people ahead of us who are gonna get to that spot before we do."

"Damn, you're right Chief, that silver Datsun just got it. Just keep going Mac, I'll keep my eyes open."

Duncan chuckled, "That's great, Jim, you just keep me updated." Duncan thought that maybe he was beginning to get a feel for what Blair meant when he talked about living with a Sentinel.

In the end, Jim's advantage did pay off, and they found a parking spot. "Only about three blocks away, good job Jim." Duncan kidded, shutting off the engine.

"Come on, guys, this is great. We're here, we made it!" Blair bounded out of the car, list in hand.

Jim rolled his eyes, grimacing at Duncan. "Are we ready for this?"

Duncan laughed, "Yeah, but they might have to push us out of here in wheelchairs."

"No, no, we'll take it slow, I promise. I'll be totally under control."

Jim grinned at his Guide, shaking his head, "I doubt that. I know what you're like in a shopping mall."

Blair threw back his head, laughing. He jumped behind Jim to walk between them, looping an arm through the crook of Duncan's elbow, and then Jim's. He walked between them like that for a few steps, linking them all together, then bounced ahead again.

"So do we have a game plan here, kiddo?" Duncan asked him, walking Blair around a car that was backing out next to them.

"Yeah, we should do the toy store first, it's gonna be the most crowded. Then I figured we should concentrate on decorations. We need to get those today, and if we don't get presents for everybody today we can always come back."

"Not me, Chief, this is a one shot deal as far as I'm concerned. If you can talk Mac into being dragged around the mall twice in one Christmas season, more power to you."

Duncan smiled, thinking that Blair could talk him into just about anything with very little trouble. "He's right, though, good plan. After we get the decorations we can split up and meet an hour or two later."

Blair's eyes lit up, and he jumped around Jim to walk close on Duncan's other side, almost bouncing. "You're gonna buy my present! I know it. Man, I dig holidays so much." A devious light came into Blair's eye, "You know, handsome, if you wanted to celebrate Hanukkah too, we could..."

Jim chuckled, "Don't fall for it, Mac. He's just trying to get seven more presents out of you."

Duncan threw an arm around Blair's shoulders, squeezing tightly, "Imp."

Blair stuck his tongue out at Jim playfully, bounding ahead again, swerving around another car. Jim and Duncan followed him, both smiling. Blair reached the entrance several paces ahead of them, and waited, holding a door open and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Come on, let's go. Toy store first!"

"Okay, Chief, settle down, let's find a directory and figure out where the toy store is. This place is huge."

Duncan took Blair's hand as they meshed into the streaming crowd. Blair glanced back over his shoulder at Jim, "You doing okay?"

Jim nodded, consciously turning down the dials for hearing and scent. "Yeah, no problem Chief, you might just have to shout at me a little, that's all."

Blair nodded in understanding, "No problem, just remember that you've got it turned down, okay? Be careful."

"No problem."

Duncan threaded the way slowly to the center of the wide, jammed hallway, finding the directory of stores.

"Here it is, upstairs and across from the sporting goods store."

Blair rambled excitedly between them on the escalator. "Okay, so, we're figuring on about fifty kids, right? So that's sixteen presents a piece if we split up, I'll grab the extra two."

Duncan nodded, "It will be easier if we do it that way. Eight toys for girls and eight for boys shouldn't be too hard."

Jim leaned around Blair to look at Duncan. "Mac, that really is going to cost a fortune. I could help you out with it..."

Blair's excited face turned serious, and he looked questioningly at his lover, adding his own concern, "Is it really okay?"

Duncan smiled at him, squeezing his shoulder, "Don't worry about it Blair, sky's the limit, okay? Just pick out good presents." He turned to Jim, "It's really nice of you to offer, but this is my thing for the kids in the neighborhood. I try to do it every year. Don't worry about it, helping us pick out presents is payment enough."

Jim shrugged, deciding that if Mac wanted to blow a fortune in the toy store, it was his business. He had to wonder though, exactly how wealthy Mac was, and how he'd made that money. Certainly not running a gym.

Blair distracted his train of thought, tugging at his arm to pull him through the mass of people outside the toy store. "This place is a madhouse, Chief. We're never gonna get out of here."

"Oh man, Jim, this is so awesome! We get to be Santa for the whole neighborhood!" Blair squirmed through the crowd to the line of shopping carts, pulling out one for each of them.

"How are we going to make sure we don't get doubles or triples of stuff?" Jim asked, taking his cart and narrowly missing the head of a screaming five year old with the corner.

Duncan edged his cart behind Jim, calling to him over the din, "Let's start at opposite ends of the store, that'll help, and then we can stop and compare before we get in line at the register. Doesn't really matter if we end up with a couple of the same toys, anyway. Tell you what, you go right, I'll go left, and Blair'll start in the middle. Oh, and Jim, no guns, okay?"

Jim frowned, "Come on, Mac, no G.I. Joe?"

Duncan shook his head resolutely, "No guns, no weapons."

Jim's face fell, and Duncan relented, "All right, science fiction kind of guns are okay. Star Trek phasers, whatever, but nothing too realistic, no plastic AK-47's, okay?"

Jim laughed, surprised by Duncan's vehemence. "Okay, no problem. I thought Sandburg was the hippie pacifist. No problem, Mac, no rifles."

"Thanks." Duncan wound his cart around a large family, coming back to see Blair beaming at him in obvious approval. "Okay, I'm heading for that end of the store, see you later," Jim turned his empty cart around, heading for the far wall and the first aisle of board games.

Blair was already absorbed in checking out the Fisher Price castle on an endcap. It was being advertised as a "classic" Christmas toy, with a price tag to match. Blair gleefully reached for a box to put in his cart, thinking that it was the most appropriate first choice. He had the time of his life pushing his cart slowly through the jam packed aisles, debating over each gift and enjoying imagining what child would get it, or what each one would want. Although he only knew a few of the kids that came to classes at the dojo, he spent time deliberating carefully over each selection. A microscope, a chemistry set, a loom to weave yarn, and a create your own muppet puppet followed. He was trying to decide between spin art and a beaded jewelry kit when Jim caught up with him.

"I knew you'd get stuck in the arts and crafts aisle, Sandburg. I'm done," Jim bragged, showing off his packed cart by rolling it back and forth in front of Blair.

"Man, you picked out pretty good stuff, good job," Blair praised Jim's cart, looking speculatively over his booty.

"This place is a madhouse, Sandburg. This kid plowed into me at about fifteen miles an hour."

"Jim, kids can't run that fast."

"No, Sandburg, on a Big Wheel. Ran right over my damn toe."

"Ouch." Blair grinned at him, still holding both the spin art and the bead maker in his hands.

"Just get 'em both, Chief. You almost done?"

"I don't know, lemme count. Where's Duncan?" Blair bent over his cart, counting on his fingers.

"Last time I saw him he was getting a saleslady to get a doll out of a locked case for him."

Blair's face lit up into a wide smile, "That's awesome, that's the only thing I'm light on, dolls. You got the Barbie camper? Cool."

"You're a little too excited about that, Chief, you're scaring me here," Jim ruffled his Guide's hair, grinning at him. Even if he was trapped in holiday shopping hell, it felt good to joke and tease with his Guide again.

Blair shrugged, "It's a good toy. Come on, let's see if we can find Duncan. I need one or two more things, I'll grab them on the way. I haven't hit the stuffed animals yet, did you?" Blair rummaged in Jim's cart.

Jim slapped his hands away, "Get out of my cart. No, we'll get the stuffed animals, they're over there. Come on." Jim pushed his way to the front of the aisle, a look of pure, military determination on his face. Blair watched him, weaving through the crowd commando style, eyes fixed on the stuffed animals on the back wall. He couldn't help giggling, only Jim could take toy shopping this seriously.

One or two turned into no less than five different teddy bears, a couple of which Sandburg actually talked to before putting in the cart. "I think you're over your limit here, Chief. Come on, I just spotted Mac heading for the front of the store. Let's go."

Blair followed closely behind Jim's assault with his cart through the crowd, he was red in the face from laughing by the time they reached Duncan, standing at the end of a register line waiting for them.

Jim turned around, demanding suspiciously, "All right, Sandburg, what's so damn funny?"

"Army Ranger Captain James Ellison has completed his mission, avoiding the untold dangers of the toy store and returned, wounded, but victorious." Blair spoke into an imaginary megaphone, his voice dripping with mock seriousness. He burst into hysterical laughter, falling over his cart and to hold himself up, his face on a teddy bear.

Duncan crossed his arms, looking from his hysterical lover to Jim, who was trying not to laugh himself. "Okay, what did I miss?"

Blair gasped, shaking his head and wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, "Oh man, you should have seen him going up and down those aisles... Command Presence at all times, totally. You got awesome stuff though, Jim, you really did. That Super-Soaker is way cool, that's the new model this year, right?"

"This, is the PS-220 Super Deluxe, it fires water balloons and shoots water, and you have no idea what I went through to get it." Jim informed Blair seriously, holding his prize up for Duncan's inspection.

Duncan nodded appreciatively, looking over the other items in Jim's cart. The huge water gun was the only thing that even came close to resembling a weapon. "Great job, Jim. Let me see what you got, Caro. Did you have fun?" Duncan realized that he didn't even have to ask, he's never seen Blair's face lit up quite so brightly. He was absolutely beaming with pleasure.

"Oh man, it was the most awesome time I've ever had in a toy store in my life. Check this out, I got a chemistry set that will let you do any kind of experiments you want, not the just the cheesy ones they usually give you, and I got a clay bead making kit, isn't that cool? You bake them in the oven and then string them. Oh, and check this out, this is absolutely the best toy in the store, it's a muppet hand puppet and you make your own muppet, all the eyes and noses and ears and hair and everything is velcro, and you can make all these combinations... I even want one."

Duncan laughed, "Do you really?" He didn't have the slightest idea what a muppet was, but he'd learned not to ask Blair these questions.

Blair grinned, blushing, he looked down, kicking his shoe against the wheel of his cart. "Well, yeah."

"Go grab one," Duncan told him indulgently, "Early Hanukkah present. I need to pick up one more thing, can you hold our place in line, Jim?"

Jim grabbed Duncan's cart, pulling it up next to his, "Yeah, okay, just make it quick. It could get ugly."

Duncan laughed, not sure if Jim was serious or not. Blair had already abandoned his cart, going for his promised muppet. Duncan looked back once at Jim, and then headed quickly to the electronics department, catching the attention of the young man behind the counter. "Hello, I need one of those video game machines."

The boy smiled at him strangely. " Which one? Playstation? Nin64? 3do?"

Duncan recognized the name of the game he hadn't been able to pull the old man away from when he'd shopped here with him last year. It had been a display model, and Methos had gone crazy for the game.

"A Playstation, please. And some game cartridges, pick some out for me, five or so."

"Okay, they're cd's, not cartridges, and is there any certain kind of game you want? Fantasy? Driving? Violent, not violent? You got little kids? Teenagers?"

Duncan almost laughed, thinking that Methos had to be the oldest video game junkie in the world. "Um, they're older... Doesn't matter how violent, just pick me out some games you like. Give me a variety." Duncan thought back to the game that was on the display version Methos had been so excited about. "There is one, but I don't know the name. You had it on your display last year... There was a funny little alien, he kept saying "Okay, follow me."

"Odd World! Excellent choice man, that is a wild game. Okay, now I know what you're after. Let's see... Resident Evil 2, a must. Totally violent but really cool graphics, and you have to get Need For Speed III, that's the best driving game. Do you want any sports games?"

"I don't think so... More along the fantasy lines I think."

"Okay, cool, then you want Tekken 3 and Final Fantasy 7, that'll keep them busy for months, and um, how about Arachnophobia, it's awesome, you're the spider."

"Sounds perfect, thanks, you've been a great help." Duncan accepted the heavy box and the stack of plastic cd cases.

"You can pay for that up front, have a great Christmas, dude."

Duncan grinned, "Thanks, you too!"

Duncan walked back to the front of the store, wondering if he was crazy for spending a couple hundred dollars on a toy for a five thousand year old man that probably wouldn't even show up this year. Still, if he did, Duncan wanted to have something that would really make him happy.

Jim was going through his cart when he got back, looking at all the educational toys Duncan had picked out. "Hi Mac, you must be an old hand at this. You've got everything I wanted for Christmas from ages eight to twelve in this cart."

"That's great." Duncan set his box carefully on top, taking the cart back from Jim.

"A Playstation? Don't you think that's a little extravagant, Mac? Some of the parents might not feel right about accepting something like that..."

Duncan shook his head, looking for Blair, "It's not for the party. It's a present for a friend who might or might not show."

"Oh." Mac had surprised him again. What kind of friend would he be buying a video game system for?

"Hi! Sorry I took so long, I wanted a blue one and I had to dig through all these orange guys." Blair bounced up next to Jim, who put his arm companionably around his Guide's shoulder. "You are too much, Sandburg."

Blair noticed the Playstation box on the top of Duncan's stack of toys, "Oh man, who'd you get a Playstation for? These are awesome games." Blair picked up the cd's, looking up curiously at Duncan.

Duncan looked away, "It's for Adam, if he shows up."

Blair eyed the box enviously for a moment, "I thought Joe said he wasn't coming."

"He has this habit of not calling before he shows up. I think he might come anyway. If not, I can always ship it to him," Duncan made an excuse, although the truth was he had no idea where the old one was, or even a last address to mail a letter to in the hopes it might get forwarded.

"Tekken 3! Wow, I haven't even seen this yet. Two was incredible. Lots of people I knew at Rainier had Playstations, and let me tell you, you have no idea how cool these graphics are nowadays."

Duncan cocked his head at his lover, "You're into video games?"

"Oh, man, come on, video games are a natural extension of any computer geek's life. No, really, Duncan, some of these games are really complicated, cool stories. I'm into all the Japanese fantasy games, they're almost like Anime."

Duncan let that one go over his head, deciding that he would be back later in the week to buy a second system. "Whatever you say, kiddo." They all edged forward in line, reclaiming their carts.

"So, what's our next stop?" Duncan asked Blair, who was reading the back of his puppet box.

"Department store, for decorations for the loft, and the drug store at the other end of the mall for streamers and paper decorations for the walls in the dojo, and more lights, lots of lights."

"Okay, sounds great."

Jim looked over their three brimming carts, "I think we might want to make a trip back to the car to dump all this stuff off before we get anymore."

"Good thinking, Jim," Duncan agreed, "It's hard enough to walk in this place without dragging all these bags. It's going to be a tight fit in the car, you're going to have to ride up front in the middle on the way home kiddo."

"No problem, I'm used to it."

Two hours later, Jim, Duncan and Blair sat around a table at the mall espresso shop, bags from the three department stores littered around their feet. Duncan and Jim both slumped in their chairs, looking haggard, and even Blair looked a little worn around the edges.

"Okay, guys, we're doing great. We've got all the decorations, and all the stuff for the party, we're down to just personal gifts here."

"Don't I know it," Jim deadpanned, and Duncan raised his latte to him in tired agreement.

"All right, tell you what," Duncan offered, "I'll take all this stuff back to the car, I think I can get most of it in the trunk. I hope so, because the back seat is just about packed full. You two can shop together or split up, whatever makes more sense, and we can all meet back here in, say, two hours."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim agreed wearily, hoping Blair wasn't going to drag him the length of the mall a third time.

"After that we'll go home and collapse," Duncan told him, giving Jim a tired smile.

"Amen," Jim answered, raising his coffee to Duncan in a toast.

"I am down with that, man. This stuff really wears you out, but it's just so awesome. Buying the presents really is the best part of the whole holidays thing, that and cooking all the good food. I want to make us a duck for Christmas Eve, what do think guys?"

"Sounds fantastic, Caro. I can't wait." Duncan finished his coffee, accepting Jim's help in gathering up all the plastic and paper shopping bags and loading them onto his arms.

"You gonna be okay with all this, Mac?"

"Sure, no problem, just try to keep him from spending his last dime on me, okay?"

Jim laughed, knowing Blair would do exactly that if he found the present he was looking for. "Sure, I'll do my best."

Blair sat between Duncan and Jim in the front seat of the T bird, his muppet box on his knees. They were stuck in the long line of cars waiting to get to the traffic light at the exit of the mall parking lot. Duncan stretched, arching his back against the seat, "That was record shopping. We did all that in just under five hours."

"I know, I can feel it in my legs. Man, I need to walk more, I'm out of shape." Blair grimaced as he started to pull the muppet from it's box.

"No, I'm not out of shape, and my feet are killing me. You just dragged us on a mall marathon, that's all Chief."

Blair laughed, "You're right, but it was still awesome. I had so much fun. Thank you so much for coming with us, man."

Jim looked into happy, bright blue eyes, and felt something twist in his gut, "No problem."

"I think this day calls for take out. None of us are going to feel like cooking dinner when we finally make it home, and I'm hungry. What do guys think about Chinese?"

"Suits me," Jim agreed, locking his door and leaning back against the cold window. Even with his senses turned down, the mall had given him one hell of a headache.

A little over an hour later, Duncan pulled into his spot at the loft, turning the car off with an exhausted sigh of relief. "Well, that was an hour of pure stress. Why do people drive so much worse around the holidays?"

"Because they're all just as stressed out as you are, man." Blair kissed his cheek quickly, getting out of the car after Jim.

They divided up the bags out of the back seat and trunk, until all three of them were loaded down with their purchases. "Jesus, Mac, why didn't you just buy the whole damn mall?" Jim grumbled, adding another shopping bag to his arm.

"Thanks," Duncan smiled at Jim, who was holding the door open for him. They dragged themselves down the hall. The heavy shopping bags hanging in bundles off their arms.

Blair slumped against the wall when they made it to the elevator, "Oh, man, I need a huge, steaming cup of tea."

Duncan nodded his agreement, digging with difficulty for his keys, "Sounds really good, kiddo. With a hefty shot of brandy, and maybe a hot bath."

Jim laughed ruefully, "I just want a nap. Tell you what, why don't you give me a call when you're ready to order dinner, and I'll come up."

"Okay, sounds like a plan. Maybe about two hours?" Duncan asked, shifting bags from one hand to the other to help Jim wrestle with the gate on the third floor.

"Sure, no problem, I'm not that hungry, just give me a call when you're ready for food. You two gonna be able to manage unloading all of these?" Jim asked, setting his bags down carefully on the elevator floor next to Duncan's feet.

"Yeah, we'll manage, have a good nap, buddy," Blair smiled at Jim, wanting to reach out to touch him but hampered by his load of bags.

"See you later." Jim got off, heading left and down the hall to his apartment.

"Oh man, that was so much fun, I'm pooped. I think a bath is a totally brilliant idea, handsome."

"I agree," Duncan leered playfully, letting the bags slide off his right arm to pull the gate.

They took turns dragging bags into the loft until they had everything in a pile that took up most of the living room floor space. Blair flopped down in the chair, surveying the sea of shopping bags in amazement.

"I can't believe we really bought all this stuff in one day, it's incredible. That was some serious shopping."

"Sure was, kiddo. Completely exhausting, but I had fun. You are wonderful to Christmas shop with, you know that?"

Blair laughed, catching Duncan's hand when he came to stand next to him, "Who'd you go with last year?"

"Adam." Duncan answered shortly, thinking that if the old man did show up, it would be one less thing for him to worry about. He'd been scared, when Methos left last time after Byron, that he'd finally crossed the line and that this time the ancient wouldn't come back. A year of wondering where he'd disappeared to had done nothing to allay those fears.

Blair remembered the night Duncan had told him about Adam, and a twinge of something that felt like jealousy gave him the courage to ask what he hadn't then.

"Duncan... Should I be worried about this person coming back into your life? I know you said that you two were never lovers, but I can't help feeling that what you feel for him is pretty serious. Something about the way Joe looked at you when you guys talked about him at the bar the other night... Oh man, I know, I have like, no right to be getting possessive on you now, but I can't help it. I guess I'm just..."

Duncan smiled, "What you are is incredibly perceptive. I'll be totally honest with you, Caro. I am attracted to him, or his power, it's hard to say which, but it's not something I admit to myself very often. I told you that the last time I saw him we parted under difficult circumstances... I killed a man who had been his lover a long time ago, and someone he cared for deeply. He is... very hard to read, he can seem very cold. I don't think I've ever seen him display that much emotion over anyone else... Anyway, he asked me not to, and Byron and I came to swords anyway, and he lost. I was certain, at the time, that he wanted..., wanted to die. It was a very difficult thing to do. If I had to do it again, I'm not sure I would make the same choice, but at the time I was too absorbed in judging Byron's actions. I was self righteous, and angry over the needless loss of a mortal life that Byron had caused. I didn't stop to think about the consequences of my actions, or how seriously they would affect Adam. He did talk to me, a little, after it happened, but then he went away, and he hasn't come back. I miss him, and I'm worried about him."

Duncan took a deep breath, releasing his hand from Blair's grasp to place both hands on his lover's shoulders. "I think that's the most honest answer I can give you about how I feel about him. But as far as if you have anything to worry about? Never. Not at all. I wouldn't give you up for the world, Caro. You are more important than anything. If I could give one person in this world the gift of immortality, it would be you."

Blair shook his head wordlessly, too moved to speak for a moment, and when he did, it was in a whisper. "I don't think I'd want it. I'd have to fight... and someday we might have to fight, and I could never do that. I'm so glad, that you really feel that way, Duncan, it makes me so happy, I love you so much."

Duncan bent down, gathering Blair into his arms to kiss him passionately, his hand buried in Blair's hair at the nape of his neck to hold him up to his lips.

"I love you too," Duncan murmured over the full lips, drawing away reluctantly.

"I'll tell you what, I'll put water on for tea if you run water for a bath." Duncan's eyes sparkled warmly, enjoying the thought of Blair in the tub with him, tucked between his legs, Blair's back against his chest.

"Ooh, really good deal. I'll meet you in the bathroom, handsome."

Blair got up, going into the bathroom and closing the door. Duncan put on water for tea in the kitchen, standing at the counter waiting for it to boil. He thought about what he'd just told Blair, making himself question his words, ask himself if what he'd said was really true. It was. What he felt for Methos was very complicated, somehow, it had just never had the chance. Methos would laugh at him if he could see him now, he was sure. Standing in his kitchen, brooding over the ancient, while his lover waited for him naked in the bathroom. The thought sent a sharp jolt of annoyance through him, and he put the whole thing out of his head, decided firmly that if the old man did show, he would think about it then.

Part 22

By Zen&nancy

The tea kettle whistled, and Duncan took it off the burner, pouring the water into the two mugs waiting on the countertop. Adding a spoonful of sugar to one, and a shot of brandy to the other, he carried them both into the bathroom, where Blair was just stepping into the tub. He'd filled it first, using an ample amount of bubble bath.

"Hi! Thanks," Blair reached for one of the steaming mugs. Blowing on the hot tea, he took a tentative sip, making a face and passing it back to Duncan.

"Yuck, brandy. Wrong one."

Duncan laughed at Blair's face, exchanging mugs with him. "You don't like brandy, Caro?"

"No way. I got really, really sick on a cheap bottle of brandy when I was sixteen. Haven't gone near it since."

"Ah, well, Fussigny is an entirely different species."

"That's okay, I'll take your word for it."

Duncan laughed, setting his mug down on the edge of the sink to undress. Blair watched him from the bath, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Very nice," he murmured, his eyes moving slowly over his lover's magnificent body.

Duncan grinned, piling his clothes on the floor with Blair's. "Thank you. Is there room in there for me?"

"Definitely, lots." Blair slid to the head of the claw footed tub, leaving room for Duncan to sit behind him.

Duncan stepped into the tub, sighing in pleasure as he sank into the hot water. Setting the tea down on the floor next to the tub, he reached to pull Blair back into his arms. Blair scooted back, settling against his chest. Duncan wrapped his legs around Blair's, holding his body against him under the water.

"Is it too hot?" Blair asked, turning his head to look at Duncan.

"No, no, it's perfect. Feels wonderful."

"Mmm-hmm," Blair agreed enthusiastically, stretching luxuriously under the hot water.

"Thank you for a wonderful day, Caro. You made a hectic trip to the mall fun"

"Oh, no way, man, thank you. You're the one who just blew a small fortune making Christmas totally awesome for every kid in the neighborhood."

Duncan laughed, squeezing his lover affectionately. "I meant with everything being a little strained between the three of us this morning. You have the most wonderful ability to smooth things over, to put everyone at ease. You can take the tension out of a room just by being there. That's a wonderful gift."

Blair smiled at the praise. "I guess that's why I'm the Guide, huh?"

"I guess so. What's it like, being a Sentinel's Guide?"

Blair shrugged, smiling, "I don't know, man. It's a lot different here than it was in Cascade. There, it felt more like being the super cop's sidekick, you know what I mean? Here, I feel like I'm really helping him to understand his senses better, and helping him figure out who that makes him, if that makes any sense. It's a hell of a lot more productive than running around doing damage control and calling for backup."

"That's wonderful, Blair, I'm really glad. Do you think that he's really going to be okay with this, ah, compromise we've worked out?"

Blair snorted, "Compromise? That's very tactful, handsome. You were a hell of a lot more blunt about it this morning."

Duncan's smile was sheepish. "I thought the direct approach was the best idea. You didn't answer the question, though."

Blair propped his feet up on the edge of the tub, sliding down further so that the water came all the way up to his collar bone. Turning his head to watch Duncan's profile, he answered quietly, "I don't know... I think so."

"I hope so, Caro, I really do. I want you to be able to be his Guide and my lover. I don't want either of us to have to live without you."

Blair wrapped his arms around Duncan's ribs under the water, turning on his side between Duncan's legs so that he didn't have to crane his neck to look at him. The brown eyes were kind and serious. Blair sighed, pushing himself up a little to reach his lover's lips.

"You make me feel so special, handsome, so loved..." Blair told him softly, before he covered Duncan's lips with his own.

"You are," Duncan told him quietly when they parted. "So very special, Caro. You don't even know. You are totally unique. I have never known anyone like you."

"Never?"

Duncan shook his head slowly, his hands drifting over his lover's body under the water. Blair was quiet for several minutes, a thoughtful expression on his face. Duncan waited patiently, enjoying the silence and the comfortable weight of Blair lying against him.

"I remember, the first night we made love, after you came back from the fight, after you told me about Immortality, you told me that there was a legend about a Sentinel in your clan when you were young. Was there any mention of a Guide in the story?"

Duncan thought a moment, trying to remember the details of the legend. "I'm sorry, kiddo, I don't remember. I don't think there was, though."

"That's okay. I'm just always trying to get more information, you know?"

"Yes, I do. It's one of the reasons why you're so wonderful."

Blair grinned, pressing his cheek to Duncan's chest. "You're gonna swell my head."

"That's okay, I want you to know how special you are."

"I know I'm the luckiest guy in the world," Blair answered, rolling over to lie on top of his lover. Duncan slid down a little, resting the back of his head on the lip of the tub.

He sighed contentedly, shifting a little to align their half hard cocks. Blair's legs were thrown out on either side of his, his head on his shoulder. His lover's lips were soft, nibbling along his collar bone, trailing warm, wet kisses up the side of his neck.

"I love you, man," Blair breathed in his ear, his cock nestling between Duncan's legs.

"Ah, that's nice, stay there..." Duncan's arms wrapped around his lover, squeezing him gently. "You're so wonderful to have, Caro. How did I manage to live without you all this time, hmm?"

Blair chuckled, "I think you did okay."

Duncan lowered his head, searching out the full, soft lips. "Mm, yes, but I'm much happier now."

They kissed lingeringly, moist lips nibbling and sucking, tongues moving lazily in each other's mouths.

Blair came up for air, smiling. "I'm glad you decided you wanted a bath. I think I really needed this."

Duncan laughed, opening his legs wider to accommodate Blair when he turned on his back again. "That's good, I'm afraid that between the both of us you're going to spread yourself too thin. Don't forget to take care of yourself."

Blair stretched under the hot water, rolling back over onto his stomach between Duncan's legs, lying with his knees bent and his feet resting on the edge of the tub behind him. He raised his head to smile brilliantly at Duncan, "I don't have to, I have you. You take better care of me than I ever have myself."

Duncan kissed him softly, pleased with the compliment. It was good to know that his lover appreciated all the little things he did for him. Blair was so wonderful to care for. Even if it wasn't in his nature, Blair would have brought out protective, nurturing instincts in him, he was sure. He was just so easy to love.

"Duncan?" Blair's voice was small, one side of his face pressed to the center of Duncan's chest.

"What is it love?" Duncan's hands rubbed slow circles over Blair's shoulder blades.

"There is one thing I'm worried about." Blair spoke quietly, not opening his eyes or lifting his head from Duncan's well muscled shoulder.

"What's that Blair?" Duncan prompted, his hands continuing their soothing underwater massage.

"I'm afraid that me being with him is going to change things between us. Even if me being with Jim really isn't a big deal to you, even if we try not to let it. I just can't lose this, Duncan. What we have right now, it's so important to me. What we've got together is really special, man, it's incredible. I don't want it to change at all, and I'm afraid it will."

Duncan smoothed back Blair's unruly hair. "How do you think things will change?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm afraid that eventually you're going to resent what's going on with me and Jim. Or that somehow I'm going to have to chose between the two of you, and I can't do that man, I know I can't."

Duncan's arms wrapped around him, hugging Blair close. "Shh, don't worry. You won't ever have to make that choice, I promise. Neither of us is going to do that to you. I love you, Blair, and I know Jim does too. Don't worry, don't stress, everything's going to be all right," Duncan soothed, pressing a kiss to Blair's temple.

Blair sighed, comforted by the warm brush of Duncan's lips. "Thanks. I love you, too."

They were quiet for several minutes, lying together in the hot water.

"Duncan?"

"What is it, Caro?"

"Let's have the very best Christmas ever, okay?"

Duncan smiled, wrapping his legs around Blair's under the water. "Sounds like a very good plan. We'll do that."

Blair's smile widened. "Okay."

Bracing his weight on the lip of the tub, Blair lifted himself up to capture Duncan's lips. His lover's mouth was soft and yielding. Blair melted against the softness of Duncan's lips, reveling in the prolonged passion of their kiss.

Duncan's hand slipped between them, petting his cock with light, gentle strokes until he was hard and straining towards the feathery touch.

"Ah, Duncan," Blair whispered hotly against his lips. "Nice..."

Duncan chuckled, nibbling across his lover's jaw. "I think so too love."

"The way you touch me..." Blair breathed, twisting slowly under Duncan's hands.

"Good." Duncan whispered back, rubbing himself sensually against Blair's hip. "I like to make you wild."

"You do." Blair groaned, pressing himself ardently against the hard body beneath him.

Duncan closed his eyes, giving himself up to the feeling of Blair against him under the water. His lover caressed him with his body, wet skin sliding against wet skin until they were both panting slightly, dilated, excited blue eyes staring into brown ones.

"I think we should move this to the bed, what do think, man?" Blair gasped, twisting against his lover's hands.

"Very good idea." Duncan ground out, as a small hand closed around his cock, squeezing gently.

"I want you," Blair told him, his voice deep with desire.

"All yours, Caro." Duncan groaned, thrusting into Blair's hand.

"Good. I think I'm going to hold you to that handsome. Come on, bed..." Blair scrambled to his feet, offering Duncan a hand to pull him to his feet. Reaching for a towel, Blair squeezed most of the water from his long hair, drying off quickly.

Still damp, they hurried to the bed. The cold air gave Blair goose bumps, and he shivered, scrambling quickly under the covers.

"C'mere. I want your body heat. It's freezing in here, man."

Duncan dropped his towel, climbing in to join his shivering lover. Blair pounced on him immediately, rolling them over and dragging the blankets with them. Duncan tucked the covers in around them, cocooning the smaller man in his arms. Blair stretched out on top of him, burrowing into the warmth of Duncan's muscular chest under the covers.

"Ah, that's much better. It's cold in here. Is the heat on?"

"I think so. You're right, though, it is chilly in here."

"Guess we're just gonna have to make our own heat, handsome," Blair spoke softly, love and desire shining in his dark blue eyes.

"Come here, kiss me." Duncan pulled Blair up a little to reach his lover's enticing lips. Blair kissed him back urgently, his fingertips stroking down Duncan's chest to take his cock in his hand once more.

Duncan moaned into his mouth, his hands roaming over Blair's hard, compact frame. "You're a tease, Blair," Duncan hissed, when the hand that had been petting him so sweetly drifted away again, stroking up and down his inner thigh.

"You think?" Blair asked innocently, lips and teeth teasing Duncan's earlobe.

"Yes, I do,." Duncan groaned, turning his face to the side to expose his neck for more of the gentle bites.

"Oh, well, maybe I'll just have to prove you wrong," Blair teased, his hands gliding slowly over the sculpted muscles of his lover's chest. "You really are so beautiful..." He murmured, his lips trailing down Duncan's throat to lick delicately along his collar bone.

Duncan's body responded passionately to his caresses, taut muscles rolling under smooth skin. Blair kissed him one more time, harder than he had before, asserting his control and his possession of his lover's body. Duncan's mouth surrendered to him completely, moaning quietly when Blair's hungry lips attacked his, sucking hard, his tongue thrusting rhythmically into his mouth.

"Blair..." Duncan's soft moan reached his ears, as he slid down, disappearing under the blanket.

There was something wonderfully wicked about doing a swan dive onto his lover's cock under the covers, where Duncan couldn't see him. Duncan's thighs went rigid under his hands, the muscles straining and trembling under the light strokes of his fingertips. Deep throating the long shaft without pausing to breath, Blair got his lover's cock all the way down his throat. With his lips stretched around the base, and his face buried in the soft curls, Blair relaxed, exhaling the last of the air in his lungs through his nostrils. He couldn't breath again without pulling up a little, but he stayed there for as long as he could. Reveling in the feeling of his throat opening up to receive the hard cock, the muscles relaxing and reshaping around the unyielding column of hot flesh.

Duncan's hands groped under the covers for his shoulders, squeezing hard enough to leave bruises. Blair smiled around the straining flesh, and began to move slowly. Duncan groaned, pushing the covers down around him.

"Ah, Blair... Your mouth is so sweet." Duncan whispered harshly, the pleasure exploding inside him. He held still, giving himself up to the intensity of the wet heat of his lover's mouth. Nothing felt as good as this.

Blair sucked softly, and then harder, caught up in rush of Duncan's surrender. To have him like this, completely in his power, sent a surge of adrenaline straight to his groin. He sucked hungrily, closing his throat around hot, pulsing skin. His tongue danced up and down Duncan's cock, until it wasn't enough, and he had to have more.

Pulling up swiftly, Blair took Duncan's hips and flipped him over, flattening himself out on the broad back to hold him there. "I need you," his voice sounded harsh in his ears.

"I love you," Duncan answered in a whisper, relaxing under Blair's weight, grinding urgently into the mattress.

"I need this so bad, Duncan. You are so incredible, I want to be inside you, I have to..." Blair panted softly in his ear, fumbling in the night table drawer for the lubricant. "I love you so much... I want to be so deep inside you, oh God, so bad..." Blair's hands roamed over his lover's back, pushing into the relaxed muscles, stroking the soft skin.

Parting his lover's cheeks, Blair inserted one slick finger, trying to make himself go slowly, when what he wanted was to plunge deep inside Duncan's body, to open him up for his cock, to fuck him hard and fast until he came deep inside him.

"Do it. Please, no more... just do it." Duncan twisted beneath his hand, trying to push back against his fingers. Blair's other hand held him down, his palm splayed out firmly at the small of his back.

"No, soon. I'm not going to hurt you. Relax, handsome, work with me here. I want you, so bad..." Blair murmured, slowly pushing a second finger into his lover's tense body.

"Ah... Caro. Yes," Duncan cried out, bucking back against his lover's hand when Blair's fingertips found his prostate, brushing over the bundle of nerves again and again.

Blair sighed in satisfaction, feeling Duncan relax around his fingers. "Yeah, that's it, oh yeah, that feels really good, huh?" Blair whispered hotly in his ear, his thrusts into his lover's body becoming more pronounced.

Duncan groaned, his cock pushing desperately into the sheet beneath him. "Please..." He gasped out, as a third finger entered him slowly, stretching him wider.

Blair felt his cock tremble, getting even harder, his balls tightening at the low moans, watching Duncan twist and buck against his fingers. "That's it, so beautiful... I'm gonna fuck you so hard, I want this so bad..." Blair pulled his fingers out carefully, moving to kneel between Duncan's legs. Coating his rock hard cock quickly with the lube, his reached for his lover's hips, pulling him up halfway to his knees on the bed to shove both pillows beneath him. He took the time to fondle the weeping erection, grazing his fingertips lightly over Duncan's balls.

"Comfortable, handsome?" Blair murmured, stretching out on top of the broad back. His cock buried itself between his cheeks, and Blair sucked air into his lungs, trying to maintain a semblance of control.

"Yes. Please?" Duncan pushed back against him, trying to beg him with his body.

Blair's mouth found the back of Duncan's neck, sucking his skin into his mouth as his cock pushed gently, until the head was inside him, and then he bit down, shoving himself hard into Duncan's body. The tight passage closed around him, and Blair groaned helplessly, sinking in to the hilt.

"Oh yeah...heaven," Blair moaned, his arms wrapping around Duncan's chest. He held still for a long minute, until Duncan relaxed and he could pull out slowly.

"Blair," Duncan groaned his name, his fists twisting handfuls of the sheets.

Pulling out until only the head of his cock was still inside him, Blair reached for his lover's hips, thrusting up hard. Duncan arched beneath him, his hips pushing his cock into the pillows, moaning softly.

"So fucking good, Duncan, oh God, you feel so good," Blair groaned, losing himself to the steady rhythm of Duncan's hips. Driving into the hot, tight channel, Blair kept up with Duncan's urgent thrusts, fucking him harder than he'd ever dared to before.

Duncan pushed his face into the sheets, groaning, and trying to be quiet. Blair's hard, thick cock surged inside him and the pleasure exploded over his nerves, again and again. His hand dragged slowly down to his cock, trapped beneath him, and Blair bit the back of his neck, gasping.

"Touch yourself. Come for me, Duncan," his lover growled in his ear, his hands grasping his hips to pull him up to his knees.

Blair's cock slammed into him, driving so deep that Duncan thought they would fuse together. Blair exploded inside him, and Duncan's body curled forward, shuddering and moaning, as his cock sent hot streams of come shooting over his stomach.

"Did I hurt you?" Blair gasped quietly, not moving inside him.

"No. You made me come so hard I though I was going to pass out."

His lover sighed in relief, relaxing on top of him. Duncan felt lassitude creep over him, his limbs going limp with exhaustion and relief. It was true, he couldn't remember the last time he'd come that hard. Blair's hands moved over his shoulders and down his arms to cover the backs of his hands. "I love you."

"Mmm, you too." Duncan responded sleepily, basking in the pleasure of being covered and surrounded by Blair. "Nap now?"

Blair laughed softly, kissing his shoulder. "No, dinner. I'm starving."

"Food? Mmm, okay." Duncan couldn't open his eyes yet, but he smiled, stretching a little under his lover's weight.

They lay still, not willing to part quite yet. The silence was soft and it was warm under the covers, limbs wrapped loosely around each other. The moment was broken by a loud bang, sounding as if it came from somewhere inside the building.

"What was that?" Blair asked, startled.

"I don't know, Caro, it didn't sound good. It might have been the boiler."

Blair pulled out of him gently, rolling to lie on his side next to him.

"No, don't say that. I need heat. I really need heat, Duncan." Blair snuggled close to his side, not ready to deal with the reality of a broken furnace yet. "You are so incredible. I think you might kill me one of these days, but I'll die really happy."

Duncan chuckled, opening his eyes to look at his love. Blair's eyes were shining, happiness lighting up the soft features. So beautiful, with his hair all tangled, damp curls falling over his shoulder. "I love you so much, Blair, you are so precious to me. Don't ever forget how much I love you, Caro."

Blair shook his head, bright eyes smiling, "I won't. I think it's so wonderful, that you'll love me forever. Even long after I'm dead, hundreds of years from now, you'll remember me, and you'll always love me."

Duncan swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, answering him solemnly, "Yes, Blair, I will."

Blair smiled, and kissed him very softly, his hand coming up to cup Duncan's cheek. Now that his breathing had returned to normal, his body was starting to realize just how cold it was out there, outside the heat of the covers and Duncan's big body.

"It's cold," he mumbled, burrowing into the warmth of Duncan's neck.

Duncan chucked, pulling out of his lover's embrace. "Don't worry, heat fiend, I'll fix it. I've been fighting with this thing for four years. It's probably just the pump again. Let me get some clothes on and I'll go down to the basement and take a look."

"We need a fireplace." Blair grumbled, pulling back the covers.

"I have a fireplace in Paris, but you won't live on a boat."

"No way, man, my French sucks. Besides, no more moving, we agreed. Not for a while, anyway. I like it here."

Jim jerked awake, sitting up on the couch. Something loud had startled him out of sleep. Listening intently, he tried to figure out if it had come from inside the building or outdoors. Not fully awake yet, he began to scan the building. It was quiet downstairs in the dojo, no heartbeats, no sounds of an intruder's footsteps. The empty second floor was quiet as well. More awake now, his senses on emergency scan, he moved up the fifth floor, where Blair and Duncan were talking. His Guide's voice was soft, the words he caught before he pulled back were confusing. I think it's so wonderful, that you'll love me forever. Even long after I'm dead, hundreds of years from now, you'll remember me, and you'll always love me.

Duncan answered him seriously, his voice deep with emotion. Yes, Blair, I will.

Jim cocked his head, frowning in confusion. What did Blair possibly mean by that? Hundreds of years from now, Duncan would love him? Was he talking about the afterlife? It certainly didn't seem like it. It was so strange, that for a moment he didn't even react to the emotional intensity of their words, feeling only confusion, and not jealousy. Then his senses reached out instinctively for his Guide, and scent nearly sent him into a zone, as he realized that Duncan and Blair had been making love. It hurt, it made his blood feel cold in his veins, and spread a sharp pain from his belly to his heart, where it wrapped tight, threatening to suffocate him.

"What the hell do you mean, Chief?" Jim muttered softly, swinging his legs around to the floor and dropping his head into his hands. He sat on the edge of the couch, trying to make sense of Blair's declaration, and Duncan's agreement. They were serious, and somehow, it related to the things Duncan was hiding, all his instincts said so.

A moment later the phone rang, jarring his hearing, and Jim winced in pain, turning the dial down guiltily. It was Blair, he knew, and it was hard to pick up the phone, knowing his Guide had no idea he'd been listening.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Are you okay? Is it really cold down there?" Blair's spoke quickly, his breath still slightly rushed from physical exertion.

"Yeah, Chief, it's arctic. Duncan decide to save on the water bill?" Jim joked, trying not to sound angry.

"He thinks it's the boiler, he's gonna go down and mess with it in a minute. I'm starving. Are you hungry yet?"

"Yeah, sure. Gimme a minute and I'll meet Duncan down in the basement. Ask him if he needs tools."

Jim listened to Blair talking to Duncan, their voices gentle and subdued. He realized he was holding his breath, and exhaled slowly, forcing himself to relax his white knuckled grip on the receiver.

"He says no, but he could probably use your help. I'm gonna order Chinese. What do want, beef egg foo yung, pot stickers and fried rice?"

"Sounds great, Chief. Tell Mac I'll be down in a bit." Jim hung up, not sure that he could keep his voice from revealing his emotional turmoil any longer.

"Whatever it is, Mac, I'm gonna figure it out," Jim spoke softly, getting up from the couch and going into the bathroom to shower.

It took an emergency run to the hardware store, but Duncan and Jim were able to fix the furnace, and managed to get back up to the loft by the time the Chinese food arrived.

Blair was in the kitchen, pulling out plates and chopsticks. The kettle on the stove was heating water for tea, and the white cartons of food were spread out on the counter.

"Smells good," Jim commented, going to the sink to wash his hands. Duncan did the same, going into the bathroom. Coming back, he accepted a plate from his lover, and took it over to the couch to flop in exhaustion.

"That was a complication I didn't need today." Duncan complained mildly, adding his thanks, "I appreciate the help, Jim. I hate that old boiler. One of these days I'm just going to dump the money and get a regular gas furnace big enough to heat this place."

"That'd cost a fortune Mac." Jim sat down across from Duncan on the couch, leaving room for Blair in the middle.

"Better than burning money all winter on that old beast. Nobody heats with coal anymore. I should've had it done when I bought the place, but at the time I wasn't sure if I was really going to live here full time or not and I didn't want to get involved in the project if I wasn't going to stay."

"Where did you live before this?" Jim asked curiously, looking up at Mac over his tea.

"Here in Seacouver." He wasn't lying, at least Jim didn't think so, so why did Mac's heart speed up?

Blair came over, carrying his plate and tea and settling between them. "Movie?" He looked from Jim to Duncan, reaching for the remote.

"Sure, what's on HBO?" Duncan asked, waiting for Blair to scroll through the guide until he got to the movie channels.

"Shawshank Redemption. I've been wanting to see that since it came out. It's supposed to be really good."

"It starts in fifteen minutes," Duncan commented, reaching for the soy sauce on the table.

"Is that okay with you, big guy?" Blair turned to Jim, who was stuffing egg foo yung in his face.

"Sure, whatever. As long as it doesn't have subtitles, I'm happy."

Blair grinned, "Cool. I think you'll like it, it's about a guy who goes to prison for a murder he didn't commit. Morgan Freeman's in it, and he's awesome."

Reading the synopsis on the screen quickly, he went back to his dinner. "Doesn't even sound like your kind of movie Chief." Jim offered Duncan a pot sticker, and got an egg roll dumped on his plate in return.

"Oh come on, I like all kinds of movies, as long as it has a plot."

"The Scent of Green Papaya had a plot?" Jim asked incredulously, leaning forward to talk to Duncan. "The main character is a girl who spends five minutes at a time staring at insects."

"Oh come on, that is an incredible story. How would you know, anyway, you fell asleep."

"Half the movie theater fell asleep, Sandburg. There was more snoring going on in there than an army barracks."

"It was good," Blair argued to Duncan, who laughed, shaking his head at them.

"I haven't seen it. Is it an American film?"

"No, Vietnamese. I made him take me to the Asian film festival in Cascade last year," Blair spoke with his mouth full, attacking the sesame chicken on his plate with gusto.

"Rent it sometime, Caro, we'll watch it. I like foreign films. Have you seen Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence?"

"Oh man, Nagisa Oshima is absolutely the best director of his generation. That is a totally powerful movie, and David Bowie and Tom Conti are so good. The sexual tension between Bowie and the Japanese commander kills me, it's so intense. You know Bowie knows, and he just throws it in his face, even when it kills him. That last scene, where he's buried up to his neck and Captain Yonoi is standing there in front of him... Oh God, that is just it."

"Hold it, Chief." Jim interrupted, "I remember that movie, what the hell are you talking about? There's no relationship between the British Major and the commander of the camp. He executes him, to set an example. And Conti dies, too, doesn't he?"

"No, Tom Conti's character lives through it, but man, you just totally missed the whole homoerotic thing going on between Bowie and Yonoi." Blair shook his head, grinning at Jim's frown.

"Whatever."

Duncan realized Blair wasn't aware of how much he was upsetting Jim, and he changed the subject abruptly. His lover was exhausted, he could be forgiven for his lack of sensitivity, it had been a very long day.

"We're going to decorate downstairs tomorrow, right?"

Jim nodded, setting his empty plate on the coffee table. "Yeah, that's the plan. I talked to Spence yesterday, he said he'd come by to help in the afternoon."

"That's really nice of him, Monday's his day off." Duncan told him, picking up Jim's plate to take it and his own into the kitchen. Blair was still eating.

He came back with two beers, handing a bottle to Jim over Blair's head before he sat down. The movie was about to start, and Blair turned up the volume, reaching across Duncan to turn off the light on the table at his side. "It's finally starting to warm up in here," Blair told them, tugging off one of the two layers of sweaters he'd put on and settling back on the couch.

"It wasn't that bad in the first place, Chief, you're just a heat freak," Jim told him, stretching out on his corner of the couch.

"Shh, the movie's starting." Blair scolded, reaching for his tea.

The film was as good as Blair had thought it would be, and all three of them got involved in the plot, watching silently. When it started to look bad for Andy, Blair took Jim's hand, and then Duncan's on the other side, squeezing hard during the rougher parts.

Jim realized that Blair was holding Duncan's hand as well as his, but he didn't pull away. His Guide didn't even seem to be aware of the implication, it had been a natural reaction to his distress, and he didn't want to pull away and deny him the reassurance. Duncan glanced at him quickly across Blair's back, and nodded once, smiling a little before he turned back to the movie. His look seemed to say, "Keeping him happy is what's most important to me, too. We can do this."

Jim sighed, turning his attention back to the story, and drawing Blair's hand over to rest on his leg. It felt a little weird, but Blair seemed perfectly content.

"How long is this thing?" Jim asked Duncan, when the cable channel paused for an intermission. Duncan reached for the remote with his free right hand, pressing the button to check the Guide. "Three hours, think he's gonna make it?" Duncan asked, referring to the main character, who'd been in prison for several years now.

"I don't know, I hope so," Jim answered, taking advantage of the intermission to get up to go to the bathroom.

He returned just as the movie started again, settling into the corner of Mac's comfortable couch. Blair kicked off his shoes, yawning, and stretched out, lifting his legs into Duncan's lap and turning on his side to put his head on Jim's thigh. Jim glanced quickly at Duncan, but he was watching the movie, one hand stroking Blair's calf absentmindedly. Jim sighed, letting his hand fall to his Guide's shoulder.

Blair shifted, settling more comfortably on Jim's lap. This was perfect, the best place in the whole world to fall asleep, between the two people he loved most. The movie was as good as he'd expected it would be, but he couldn't keep his eyes open, and within another five minutes he was sound asleep.

Duncan was half asleep himself when the credits rolled. The loft was dark, only the light in the kitchen was on. He looked over at Jim, who was sitting very still with Blair sound asleep on his leg.

"Good movie," Duncan spoke softly, so he wouldn't wake his lover.

"Very good," Jim answered, looking down at Blair. He lifted his hand from his Guide's shoulder, trying to find the strength to wake him up and leave them alone together. He tried, but he couldn't do it. Blair looked too beautiful, sleeping so contentedly, his cheek resting on his thigh, his right hand curled under his leg to hold his pillow in place.

Duncan watched the shadows of emotion flicker across Jim's face, and spoke quietly, "Why don't you just take him downstairs with you, Jim?"

Jim felt himself blush, and was very grateful that it was dark in the loft. He could see Duncan clearly, but his features would be in shadow for the other man. "You don't have to..."

"It's okay, he's exhausted, take him to bed. I'm going to clean up here and pass out. I'll see you in the morning." Duncan squeezed Blair's calf gently, and lifted his legs to get up from the couch. Blair didn't wake up, but he curled his legs up, scooting farther up the couch and into Jim's lap. Duncan smiled down at him, affection unmistakable in his eyes. "Goodnight Caro," he murmured quietly, reaching for Blair's discarded plate and taking it into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Duncan," Jim sighed, able to speak the words as soon as Mac wasn't looking at him.

Duncan spoke from the kitchen, his voice pitched low. "No, don't thank me, it's okay. Goodnight, Jim."

Jim took the hint, standing up with Blair cradled in his arms. Blair woke up a little, asking sleepily, "Jim?"

"Yeah, shh, go back to sleep."

" 'Kay" Blair mumbled, very used to being carried to bed. He wriggled in Jim's arms, finding a more secure position, and pushed his forehead into a muscled shoulder.

Jim carried him into the elevator and all the way down the hall to his door, bracing them against the wall and shifting his Guide's weight in his arms to dig the key from his pocket. Blair woke up again when the door closed behind them.

"I'm sleeping down here?" Blair asked, smiling up at Jim and then lifting his head to look around the apartment.

"Do you want to go back up to Duncan? You can..." Jim offered, trying to cover his embarrassment. He should have left Blair upstairs, where he belonged, but he hadn't been able to move his sleeping Guide from his place in his lap. It had been so perfect, to have Blair sleeping on his leg, his breath warm on his skin through his jeans.

"No. I want to be with you. Brr! It's even colder in here."

"No, it's just because you were sleeping. Here, get under the covers." Jim went to the bed with his burden, setting Blair down gently on the mattress. Blair dove under his blankets, pulling them up around him until he was completely buried under the covers. He started pulling off his layers of clothes and tossing them on the floor.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Jim spoke quietly, his voice pitched low to cover his nervousness. He drew another blanket up from the bottom of the bed to cover his shivering Guide.

"Okay," Blair mumbled, reaching for a pillow. "Hurry up please. Bed's cold." Jim watched the small form curl up even further, until all he could see of his Guide was his hair. All of Blair's clothes lay in a pile next to the bed.

Turning away, Jim went slowly around the apartment, completing his nightly ritual of checking the lock on the door and turning out the lights. He delayed going back to the bed, wandering into the kitchen instead. He filled a filter with grounds and added water to the machine for coffee in the morning, and then set the automatic timer on the coffee maker.

Upstairs, in Duncan's house, it had seemed like the hardest thing in the world, to let go of Blair. Now that he was sleeping safe and content, curled up in the middle of his bed, it was enough just to have him here. Taking a deep breath, Jim forced himself to be honest with himself, and admit that he was afraid. He was afraid to go back to his Guide, who looked so beautiful, asleep on his pillow. He was afraid of what would happen, but he wanted it too much to deny it. Putting off the wanting and the nervousness a little longer, he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed.

Turning off the bathroom light left the apartment totally dark, the only light a thin stream from the streetlight through the curtains across the room. Jim went quietly to stand next to the bed, looking down at Blair for a moment before undressing silently. He left his clothes on the floor, and slipped under the covers, moving carefully so that Blair could stay asleep if he wanted to. His Guide opened his eyes immediately, smiling and moving to close all but a scant inch of the space between them.

"Hi," Blair whispered, his eyes squinting to try to see the Sentinel in the dark.

Jim smiled, thinking that Blair at a loss for words was really a beautiful thing. "Hi. Are you warm yet?"

"No."

"Come here then," Jim's arms drew Blair tightly against his chest, tucking his head in under his chin.

"Hmm, much better. How come you're warm?"

Jim laughed a little, shrugging, "I don't know, you're always cold. It's not bad in here."

"This is good," Blair whispered, rubbing his cheek lightly against Jim's chest. Smooth, firm skin, and hard muscle. He sighed, his lips brushing lightly against the pectoral muscle he was using for a pillow, just short of a real kiss.

"Blair..." Jim's fingertips reached to stroke his Guide's cheek hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Why is this so good?"

"Because I belong here." His Guide's voice was small, and Jim squeezed him gently in agreement.

"You look happy," Jim told him, his fingertips caressing the soft cheek, stroking the line of Blair's jaw.

"I am. Perfectly." Blair turned his face to press his lips into Jim's palm. The little shock of heat that went through him surprised him, and woke him up a little more. He raised his eyes to look at Jim, and now that his eyes had adjusted to the dark, he could see him. His Sentinel's eyes were tightly shut, his chest expanded, holding the breath he'd been inhaling.

"I know," Blair whispered, "It's okay..." His hand came up to cup the back of Jim's neck, guiding his mouth down to kiss him softly. Their lips fused together, and Blair pressed himself closer, turning in Jim's arms to reach more of him with his body. For a moment, Jim kissed him back, his lips moving possessively over his, and then he pulled away sharply, his eyes tightly shut.

"What is it? It's okay, just relax..."

"You taste like Duncan," Jim whispered, unable to open his eyes and look at Blair.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry. Just give me a minute, all right? I'll be right back." Blair slipped out of bed, going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

He came back after only a few minutes, smelling like toothpaste and soap. Slipping under the covers, he slid back into Jim's arms, insinuating himself against the warm flesh. "Better?"

Jim nodded slowly, finding Blair's scent under the toothpaste and soap. "Yeah."

"Good." Blair snuggled up against him, still shivering. "Tell me... Can you still smell Duncan?"

Jim closed his eyes, obeying the gentle command of Blair's Guide voice. He shook his head uncertainly, inhaling again. "Kind of... It's hard to say. I don't really separate it anymore. You live with him, you smell like each other all the time. It was taste that threw me."

"I'm sorry. I should have thought about it." Blair blushed, and Jim smiled at him in the dark.

"It doesn't matter."

"Really? Oh man, that's like, really amazing. Total breakthrough. I mean, if you can accept his scent on me..."

"Don't start, professor," Jim warned, his growl affectionate.

"Okay, later..." Blair promised, snuggling into Jim's embrace. The heat of Jim's body sent a rush of intense, pure, want through him. Blair wrapped his arms tightly around his Sentinel, determined to get as close as he possibly could to the heat of him. The total awareness of Jim flooded through him, and Blair relaxed, draping himself over the big body, as if he could protect him from the fire he'd just ignited.

Jim groaned softly, letting the awareness of his Guide against him seep into every pore, every nerve, until he was almost zoning on the feel and scent of Blair in his arms. He opened his eyes, looking down into Blair's dark blue ones, the pupils dilated in the darkness. What he saw there made him tighten his hold, dragging Blair closer. Pure, intense, desire, and love.

"Chief..."

"Yeah?"

"You feel so good. I need this, so bad..."

Blair clung to him, whispering a stream of reassurances in his ear, "I know, I know. Me too. It's okay, though, it's okay. We're fine, everything's fine. If you zone on me I'll get you back, I promise, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just you and me man..."

Blair's soft, deep voice drew him in, until he felt as if his Guide had wrapped his presence around him like a blanket. His senses turned themselves up instinctively, reaching for every tiny sensation of touch and scent and sight. The feeling of being one with his Guide was even more real than it had been the night before, except this time, he wasn't zoning. Jim realized this, a stray thought in the storm of sensation his was allowing to overpower him. It felt so incredibly good, to let go, to give in to the firm, gentle hands roaming over his muscles, and the soft, warm kisses Blair was pressing to his cheeks and lips.

It was electric, more intense than anything he'd ever felt before. It wasn't enough though, he wanted to be able to feel every inch of Blair against him, he wanted to drown in his taste, and hear him moan his name the way he had last night. Holding his Guide's shoulders, he rolled them over, bracing his forearms on the bed when he stretched out over the smaller body.

Blair raised his head, his lips reaching hungrily for him, pulling him down. Jim thrust his tongue into the small, hot mouth, groaning in satisfaction when Blair opened his mouth wider for him. Blair's taste washed over him, pervading all his other senses until all he could feel was the wet slide of Blair's tongue, the heat of his mouth and the softness of the full lips. Jim felt himself falling into his Guide, but Blair's arms held him strongly, refusing to let him zone.

The kiss went on and on, Blair sucked beseechingly at his tongue in his mouth, begging for more. Jim's hands on his shoulders pressed him down hard into the mattress when Blair began to squirm beneath him. Jim growled warningly, low in his throat, biting the swollen lower lip gently. Blair whined back, trying to argue, but Jim held him still, letting Blair take just enough of his weight to hold him down. Then he began to move, touching him everywhere with his body. Jim groaned, the breath he'd inhaled rushing out of him as his bare skin brushed across his Guide's, the soft skin and crisp hair of Blair's chest setting his own skin on fire. Oh God, it felt so good, to drag himself slowly over his Guide's naked chest and stomach, to bury his face in his hair, and then the hollow of his shoulder, licking greedily at the soft skin.

Blair's hands roamed over his back, his breath coming in long gasps. His voice caressing his ear was so sensual, Jim shuddered, moaning quietly at the sensation. "Oh Jim, oh man, more... please. Ah, God, that feels so good."

Jim's lips sucked gently at his collar bone, following the line to his shoulder, nuzzling into his skin until Blair thought he was going to come on the sensation of Jim's mouth on his body alone. Suddenly, the touch stopped, and he opened his eyes.

"It's okay, everything's all right, I'm here, right here, listen to my heart..." Blair whispered, shifting under Jim's dead weight so that his head lay over his chest, his ear next to his heart. "Come on, Jim, come back to me, buddy, I need you..." Jim groaned softly, lifting his weight off his Guide.

Blair could see his eyes in the dark, the muscles of his face were tense with the pain he was trying to hide. "What is it? No. No don't pull away, please? I'm right here, I love you. Tell me."

Blair's compelling, urgent whisper reached his ears, and Jim closed his eyes, turning his face away. "I can't..."

Blair scrambled out from under him, somehow managing to get him on his back and cover him up with his body, his arms stretching around his shoulders to shelter him. "Yes, yes, you can. It's just me, you can tell me anything... Come on, it's okay, it'll be fine..." Gentle hands stroked his shoulders and the back of his neck, soothing him with a touch that a moment ago had set him on fire.

"Your shoulders... he left marks on you," Jim choked the words out, afraid to let himself touch his Guide, afraid that he would lose control completely.

"Oh, man..." Blair whispered softly, turning his head to see the marks Duncan's fingers had left. "I'm sorry, big guy, I really am."

"No!" Jim interrupted him, the emotion coming out stronger than he meant it to. "I mean that you shouldn't be sorry, it's not right. This is the way it is, and you can't be feeling guilty both ways, I don't want that. Blair... It's not that it makes me angry, that he loves you. It really doesn't any more. He's so good for you... It's just seeing his hands on you like that. Why did he bruise you?"

Jim watched his Guide's lips press tightly together, he was trying not to smile. "Um... we just got a little out of control. Duncan didn't hurt me on purpose or anything, he was just kinda, hanging on real tight."

Jim took a deep breath, and rolled them both to their sides. He couldn't bring himself to let go of Blair though, he kept his arms locked around his back. Blair looked up at him questioningly, his palm covering the center of his chest.

"Jim, it's okay, honest. It's a territorial thing, I understand if you're feeling anger here, okay? It's normal. Or at least, for us. I'm your Guide, I know, I can imagine how that's got to feel. You can see his fingerprints, can't you?"

Jim nodded, touching the three small bruises on Blair's right shoulder gently. "Yeah, I can. Blair..."

"What?" Blair took Jim's face in his hands, pressing his forehead to his Sentinel's.

"Can I ask..." Jim whispered, and then stopped, unable to form the question.

"What? It's okay, you can ask anything, I don't care, I won't hide anything from you," Blair spoke quietly, his eyes so close that they were all Jim could see.

"What were you doing? I mean, those aren't bites, they're bruises," Jim's whisper was tense, filled with concern and disapproval.

Blair's hands moved from the sides of his head to caress his shoulders. He pulled back a little, looking down at his hands on Jim's body instead of his eyes when he answered. "Duncan probably didn't even realize he was hanging on to me that hard. I was giving him a blow job. I just um, had him kind of worked up..."

Jim nodded slowly, determined to accept this. He let himself think about it, for just a second, what it would feel like to have Blair's mouth around him, to be inside that soft, velvety heat. "I'm sorry... I just, I guess I was curious," he mumbled, staring again at the small, round marks on his Guide's beautiful body.

"Hey, that's okay, really. As long as it doesn't make you angry, to think about it, I mean... I don't want you to have to think about anything else when I'm with you. I want you to be able to feel like I'm yours. Because I am, I really am. The part of me that's your Guide is always going to belong to you, Jim."

Blair raised one hand to stroke Jim's cheek, smiling at him in a way that made Jim's insides turn to jelly. Jim turned his head into Blair's hand, trying to express what he felt, and was totally overwhelmed. It was too much for words, what it felt like to hear Blair say that he belonged to him.

"Jim?"

"What is it?" Jim spoke softly, leaning in to brush his lips against Blair's before he let him talk again.

"I have an idea, it you'll go along with it..."

"What do you want me to do?" Jim asked, so attuned to his Guide and his familiar expressions that it was easy to see that he wanted something from him, and wasn't sure how he wanted to ask yet.

"Mark me?"

"What? Why? I don't want to hurt you," Jim argued, leaning in for another soft kiss. This time Blair responded passionately, pushing his tongue into his mouth and arching against him. Jim moaned into the kiss, letting Blair absorb the sounds of his hunger for him. Blair pulled back, shaking his head. It took a second for Jim to catch up, and realize that he had returned to their conversation.

"No, I mean it, man. Bite me, put a big old purple hickey on the side of my neck, whatever, I don't care. Just mark me. It's what you wanted to do when you saw the bruises, wasn't it? I mean, your first instinct had to be to just grab me and cover me up with your marks and your scent, right?"

Jim smiled guiltily, "You're not a Guide, Chief, you're a mind reader. It's okay, I mean, I don't have to get all jealous and possessive here, I can handle it." He didn't want to, but he would, Jim told himself sternly. But Blair was still arguing with him, shaking his head. The brush of his curls over his skin made him shiver.

"No, man. I mean, what we're talking about here is instinct. That's really what this is, everything between us. Not that we're not emotionally involved, here, I love you, Jim. I've always loved you, but the sex... It's primal, it's instinctual. What you feel for me when I touch you isn't something you can deny, it's not a choice, for either of us, it's just the way things are. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Well, yeah, I do. We've talked about it before... but that doesn't mean I have to get neanderthal on you. Besides, how would Mac take it?"

"No, man, you're not being truthful with me here, Jim, I know you're not. It's what you want to do, isn't it? To cover up his mark? Stop trying to be a good guy and just be honest with me, man. I don't care if you leave marks on me, I really don't. Actually, there's a part of me that really wants you to."

"Really?" Jim whispered, still not willing to admit just how right Blair was. It was all he wanted to do, every time his eyes found Duncan's fingerprints in his Guide's bruised skin, but his conscience kept telling him it wasn't right to think about Blair that way, as property.

"Really, man. I can't help it, I want you to..."

A powerful mixture of love and pure, unadulterated lust swept through him and Jim leaned in to cover Blair's mouth, kissing him harder when Blair melted against his chest. Blair's mouth was soft, so soft. He encouraged Jim's rough kisses, opening his mouth wider, offering up his lips. Jim growled low in his throat, rolling his Guide slowly to his back without breaking contact with the soft, hungry mouth. Jim thought dimly that they might just suck each other's lips off. When he had to breath, he let go of Blair's mouth reluctantly, pressing his face against his cheek so that he wouldn't have to lose the contact.

"Jim..." Blair gasped, letting go of the back of Jim's neck to roam over the broad shoulders and back, kneading the muscles. "Oh man, you feel so good." Blair twisted beneath him, arching up to insinuate one thigh between Jim's and pressing his hip into the other man's rigid erection.

Jim gasped, wrapping his arms tightly around Blair, he buried his face in his neck, biting and sucking at the soft skin. Once he started, he couldn't stop. Blair tasted so incredibly good, smelled so good. The feel of his hot skin in his mouth, and the way he twisted and panted beneath him, begging for more.

Jim's mouth moved slowly to cover every inch of his Guide's throat with long kisses and gentle bites, sucking hard, and stroking the soft, sensitized skin with his tongue. Blair groaned, throwing his head back to offer more of his neck for Jim to devour.

"Oh God, Jim... More," Blair gasped, his fingers trying to hold Jim's short hair.

Jim's mouth moved over his throat; sharp, even teeth leaving marks Blair could feel. He could feel his blood rushing under his skin when Jim sucked, leaving small, red welts in a line below his jaw, and then down his throat to his shoulder, where he bit harder.

Jim felt as if he were somewhere between reality and a zone. Blair had wrapped both of his legs around one of his, and was grinding against him mindlessly. The friction of their hard cocks was as intense as it had been the night before, even through the boxer shorts they were still wearing.

Jim was totally lost in the taste of Blair. His skin was pliant under his tongue and teeth, the texture fine and smooth. Jim covered every inch of Blair's shoulders, sweeping his tongue over him until there wasn't a single pore of Blair's neck and shoulders that he hadn't covered with his mouth. Blair writhed slowly beneath him, grinding his cock hard against his thigh. The thin cotton was wet, and Jim could feel the desperation of his Guide's thrusts, and the anxiety in the gasped moans that came from his tightly compressed lips.

"Take them off, Blair," Jim ordered quietly, barely lifting his lips from his the hollow of his left shoulder, where he'd left a dark crimson circle, sucking until he was just about the break the skin.

Blair groaned, pushing his underwear off without moving out from under the hot, hard body on top of him. "Jim, oh man... Bite me again?"

His Sentinel chuckled deep in his chest, a satisfied sound of lust and approval, and bit him harder, directly over his heart. For a second, he thought of the panther, Jim's animal Guide. Jim's broad shoulders loomed over him, blocking out the light, and Blair felt the velvet roughness of a tongue lapping across his chest. He cried out softly, pleasure racing through him, going straight to his throbbing cock.

Jim lifted his head to look at his Guide. Blair lay beneath him, his legs wrapped tightly around his thigh, his hands clutching his biceps. His chest rose and fell rapidly with his harsh breaths, and his neck and shoulders were covered with his marks. For a moment, Jim was sure that he was going to zone, staring down into Blair's wide open eyes. Before he could, Blair spoke, his deep, rich voice forcing him to concentrate.

"My Blessed Protector... I love you so much. You can have everything, all of me. Anything you want. Think I'm already inside you... Feels so right, man, so right..."

"Show me what you want." Jim whispered, rolling over and taking his Guide with him. Blair sprawled out on top of him, his legs thrown out on either side, knees on the mattress.

Blair smiled, dizzy from the quick change in perspective. Sitting back on Jim's thighs, he sighed, letting his eyes feast on the hard expanse of naked chest and stomach. Blair let his hands slide slowly down Jim's sides, and under the elastic band of his boxers. He continued pushing the shorts down to mid thigh and rising up on his knees to push them the rest of the way down. Jim kicked them off for him, pulling Blair back against him hungrily.

Blair's mouth came down to cover his, lips fusing together as Blair flattened himself against him. The first touch of Blair's cock against his own sent explosions of pleasure through his whole body. Soft, smooth skin, hot and hard, and very quickly slick from the combined fluid. Blair moaned into his mouth, and ground his hips in a circular motion, pressing into him.

Jim shuddered beneath him, groaning through clenched teeth. Blair felt his own cock tremble against Jim's in response. The desire was so strong, it was like a living thing they passed back and forth between them. It wasn't like anything else, it was a deeper, stronger bond than he'd ever felt before. A totally unique experience. Blair gave himself up to it completely, melting into Jim.

He closed his eyes, letting his lips map Jim's jaw and the side of his throat. Nipping and sucking, Blair moved slowly down Jim's thick, strong neck. He was so excited he was shaking, and he made himself take a slow, deep breath to gain a bit of control back.

"Jim, listen to me, anything you're not comfortable with, just say so."

Jim's hands buried themselves in his hair, holding his head without hurting him. Blair kissed his way slowly down from the hollow of Jim's throat to the center of his chest, leaving a line of small red marks in his wake.

"Oh God, Chief, just don't stop..."

Blair smiled against his Sentinel's hard pectoral, shaking his head. "Never," he whispered, kissing the hot skin and letting his tongue wander slowly towards a nipple. Jim's chest was gorgeous, he'd been going crazy looking at it from the first day he'd moved in with him. He was perfect. Hard, hairless, chiseled muscles, bulging pecs and a smooth, washboard stomach. He'd never expected the skin to be so soft, though, baby smooth, and he tasted so good... Blair tried to remind himself again that he was the one who was supposedly in control here, but that was the problem. The very idea of being on top of Jim, about to show him what it was like to have sex with a man, made him dizzy with brain melting desire.

When his tongue flicked slowly over the hard nipple Jim's hands tightened in his hair, and he moaned out loud. Blair groaned softly in response, sucking the tight tip into his mouth. Jim's hard cock surged against his stomach, and he released the captive nipple to lick circles around it before abandoning it for it's mate. Jim's hands clenched and released in his hair, but he didn't pull. Jim's muscled legs locked around his, holding him down when he started to kiss his way down to his stomach.

Blair raised his head from the damp skin he'd been feasting on, asking softly, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No, please don't." Jim whispered through clenched teeth, his eyes still tightly shut.

Blair raised a hand to his face, touching his cheek lightly with his fingertips. "Jim, open your eyes, look at me."

The deep voice was impossibly tender, his fingers just barely touching him. Jim opened his eyes, and met his Guide's dilated, concerned eyes, taking in the perspiration on his upper lip and the flush in his cheeks. Did he always look like this in bed, so incredible? Or was it because of the energy that seemed to crackle between them?

"If you don't want me to, I won't..." Blair spoke so quietly he had to reach out with his hearing to catch the words.

His body was screaming at him to shut up, to take the hard flesh pressing into his belly in his mouth without giving Jim the chance to say no, but when Jim's legs tightened around him, he'd made himself pull back, ignoring the ache that when straight to his groin resolutely. If Jim wanted him to stop, he would stop, even if it killed him.

A hot flush of embarrassment spread over his cheeks, Jim tried to make himself answer, but he for some reason he couldn't get any words out. His hands went to his Guide's shoulders, pushing him gently back down to his middle. Finally he managed to whisper, "No. No, I don't want you to stop."

Blair groaned softly, pressing his mouth to the hard abdomen, letting his tongue glide lazily over the muscle. When he had to move or go out of his mind with want, he lifted his mouth just far enough away to speak. "You're going to have to let me move then, big guy."

Jim realized he had his calves locked around Blair's legs, trapping him against him, and released him slowly, feeling his face get even hotter. "Sorry."

Blair moved down a little, nuzzling into the line at the top of his hip. "It's okay, Jim. Oh man, you are so incredible. This is so different, with you, different from anything I've ever felt before."

Jim looked down at his Guide, and what he saw made it impossible to look away. Blair's hair spread out over his stomach, blocking his view of his face, the silky curls caressing his skin. Blair's head bobbed up and down a little as he covered his stomach with hot, wet kisses. His eyes were half closed, and Blair's hips rotated slowly against the sheets. He caught little flashes of tongue and teeth and the sleepy eyes as Blair kissed him, and the visual was just as intense as his hungry mouth.

Blair scooted down a little farther on the bed, his lips wandering slowly to the muscular hips. Nuzzling and biting gently, Blair managed to rearrange them so that he was curled up between Jim's legs, his chest brushing enticingly over the long, hard cock that trembled against Jim's stomach. It felt heavenly, to rub himself slowly over the straining flesh while he nibbled at the rounded muscles of Jim's hips.

Blair groaned softly when Jim sank his hands into his hair, the pressure of his fingertips against his skull just barely enough to drag him out of the haze of desire he was swimming in. He closed his eyes, telling himself to go slowly. Jim's fingers were dragging through his hair, lifting pieces of it through his fingers over and over again. Otherwise, he stayed completely still under his mouth, muscles flexing and trembling under his tongue.

Blair felt the slight pressure of Jim's hand on the left side of his head, guiding him closer to his groin. Blair felt desire rush through him at the silent request, and struggled for control. His lower body ground helplessly against the mattress, his cock desperate for friction. Blair forced himself to relax, and turned his head to the juncture of Jim's hip and thigh.

He let himself get lost there, nuzzling the sensitive skin and inhaling greedily. Jim smelled good, like soap and sex and clean sweat. The muscles of his powerful thighs stood out so taut on Jim's legs that Blair tried to raise his head again to see his Sentinel, to make sure that this wasn't too much too soon. Jim's hands in his hair held him down, the strong grip flexing once, dragging him an inch closer to his cock.

"Jim," Blair said his name breathlessly, and then his lips closed over the head of his cock and he was surrounded by hot, wet softness. The zone out was inevitable, from the first paralyzing touch of Blair's tongue. Jim grasped for consciousness, trying to concentrate on in the little sounds his Guide was making to distract himself from the overwhelming sensation. Blair's cheeks hollowed as his mouth closed around him, sucking softly. Wet suction, drawing him down, until he was drowning in pleasure.

Blair stopped when he realized Jim's hands had frozen in his hair, holding him down. He opened his eyes, Jim was definitely zoned. For less than a second, he panicked, and then he made himself breath, inhaling slowly through his nostrils. Praying it would work, Blair opened his throat, letting himself slide down Jim's length until he had his lips stretched around the base of his cock. Stealing another quick breath, he exhaled slowly, humming around the hard flesh.

Jim felt himself being pulled up from the blackness, like breaking to the surface from underwater. He could feel Blair's voice, as well as hear it, he was totally surrounded by his Guide. Pleasure flooded his veins and his hands closed in the long hair. He heard himself moan, shuddering in Blair's mouth.

He looked down, and almost zoned again on the pure adoration in Blair's beautiful blue eyes. Jim gasped, forcing words out to keep from slipping. "Oh God, Blair... How do you do that? Oh yeah, just like that..."

Jim's cock trembled in his throat, and it seemed like it went straight through him, his body conducting the wave of intense pleasure. Blair groaned around the hard, smooth flesh, sucking greedily. Having Jim in his mouth was more wonderful than he'd ever imagined it would be. He closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the incredibly powerful feeling of holding Jim inside him. He sucked mindlessly, falling into a perfect, primal rhythm that was neither fast or slow. Jim groaned above him, his hands flexing in his hair in time to his thrusts.

Blair realized that he was humping the mattress, his hips rising and falling helplessly with his movements. He didn't care, he couldn't help it, he was completely lost in the intense emotions that welled up inside him as he drew Jim deep into his throat. He moaned around the hard flesh, letting his tongue dance up the underside of Jim's cock.

Jim felt the tip of Blair's tongue thrumming up the length of him, sending hot waves of mindless pleasure through his entire body. Buried in the incredibly soft, welcoming heat of Blair's mouth, his senses were completely saturated with the essence of his Guide. He felt the vibrations of the small sounds Blair made around him deep inside him, felt himself melting into his Guide. Jim shuddered, and forced himself to release his hand's grip in the long hair. His body was rushing ahead of him towards a inevitable, explosive orgasm.

Blair felt Jim pulse in his mouth, his hands moving from his hair to his shoulders. He sucked greedily, a possessive hunger making him want to hold Jim as far down his throat as he possibly could when he came. He groaned around the throbbing cock, fighting to maintain the rhythm of his movements as shudders of pure intense pleasure and relief washed over him and he came in a hot wet rush on his belly.

The scent of his Guide's release reached Jim's nostrils, and sent him spinning into helpless, oblivious ecstasy. He moaned, clutching at Blair's shoulders. He was coming and falling and melting into Blair. Pure, endless pleasure drawing him down into soft, bottomless blackness.

Blair sighed around Jim's softening cock, releasing him reluctantly from his mouth. He drew a shaky breath and squirmed his way up the bed a little to lay his head on Jim's flat stomach. After a moment, he turned his head, kissing the damp skin. Jim sighed, and brought his hand up to cover the side of his face.

"I lost you for a little while at the end, huh?" Blair whispered, turning his face into the large hand.

"Yeah, just for a minute."

"Does that um, happen often?" Blair asked quietly, craning his neck to look up at him.

"No, never." Jim wrapped his arms around his Guide, pulling him up to tuck his head into his shoulder.

"Wow. That's quite a compliment. Did you get to enjoy it?" Blair asked hesitantly, his hand stroking Jim's chest.

"More than anything I've ever felt in my life." Jim confessed quietly, his hand under Blair's chin tilting his head back to kiss him softly.

"Having you inside me feels so perfect, like I'm making you a part of me. Feels so right..." Blair mumbled sleepily, nuzzling into the side of his neck.

"I think so too, Chief," Jim whispered, but Blair was already drifting off to sleep. He sighed contentedly, burrowing into Jim's shoulder.

Jim kicked the covers up from the foot of the bed, catching the edge of the blankets and pulling them up around his Guide. He thought about setting the alarm clock, but decided he didn't want to move, and disturb Blair. Duncan would wake them in the morning if they overslept. Jim fell asleep listening to the steady beat of Blair's heart, lulled by the vibration he could feel beating against his chest.

Part 23

By Zen&nancy

Duncan was surprised when Jim didn't open the door after his first quiet knock. He waited a moment, and knocked a little harder, calling softly, "Jim? Are you awake?"

After a moment, he got a very groggy response. "Yeah...Um, hold on a sec."

Duncan listened to Jim shuffling to the door. He yawned, thinking that he could have used another hour of sleep himself. He was totally unprepared for Jim's appearance when he opened the door. He was bare to the waist, wearing only his boxer shorts. His hair was messed up the way it only got when you'd been rolling around on a bed with someone else for several hours. He had four dark, perfectly round hickey marks, starting at the base of his throat and going in a straight line to the center of his chest. Duncan turned his eyes away quickly, taking a step back into the hallway.

"Are you ready?"Duncan asked him shortly, aware that it was a ridiculous question, but too flustered to think before he spoke.

"Uh, come in?" Jim mumbled, rubbing his hand quickly over his face.

"Okay." Duncan stepped into Jim's apartment, not looking at anything but what was directly in front of him.

"Give me a few minutes?" Jim asked, sounding more awake.

"Alright, but make it quick. We're going to be late." Duncan realized that that didn't make any sense either, it was seven a.m. and the only plans any of them had for the day were to decorate the dojo for Christmas. He knew he wasn't reacting to Jim very well. He was being antagonistic and unfriendly. Something about Jim's attitude made him angry. Maybe it was just that he was so relaxed this morning, or that he'd overslept, when Duncan had made himself wake up to the alarm clock, even though he hadn't wanted to. If he were in the mood to be honest with himself, Duncan thought wryly, he would just admit that it was seeing the marks of Blair's mouth on Jim's chest that had thrown him into this surly mood.

"What crawled up your ass this morning?" Jim asked, sounding sleepy and confused. He didn't give Mac time to answer, going directly to the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

Duncan stood in the center of the big room, not sure whether he was angry or sorry for not being able to control his emotions. He wanted to be angry.

As soon as the bathroom door closed, Blair sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and squinting at it. He cocked his head at the closed door, and then at Duncan, across the room. "What's up with you guys?" He mumbled, scratching his head. A second later, memory returned, and he raised a hand to his throat, moaning softly, "Oh man..."

Duncan stood next to the couch, looking at him for a long, silent minute. His eyes moved slowly over his lover's neck, shoulders and chest, covered with dark red and purple welts and bite marks. "Tell him I'll be downstairs," he said quietly, and turned on his heel and walked out of the apartment.

Blair stared at the door closing behind Duncan, his head sliding into his hands. "Oh shit. Not good," Blair wailed softly, rubbing his eyes and trying to catch up to the adrenaline that surged in his stomach. He started to run after Duncan, and then stopped, his hands covering his throat. What was he going to say? Duncan was angry, and seeing him was only going to make it worse.

Jim came out of the bathroom, surprised to find Blair out of bed and standing in the middle of the room. "You look confused, Chief," Jim smiled, coming up to Blair to hug him close to his bare chest. Blair's arms went around him, squeezing hard, and then he pulled away, distress obvious in the sleepy blue eyes.

"Duncan said to tell you he's waiting downstairs," Blair spoke quietly, without any inflection in his voice.

"Are you okay?" Jim asked softly, wanting to pull his Guide back into his arms, but restraining himself.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry. Go run, okay?" Blair turned his back on Jim, going into the kitchen to start coffee.

"Blair... I don't think..."

Blair interrupted him, not looking up from the spoons of coffee he was measuring. "Please Jim? Just go run with him."

Jim watched him for another moment, wishing that Blair would look at him. Finally, he sighed, and agreed, "Okay, Chief. I'll see you in a little while."

"Yeah, okay," Blair answered distractedly, pouring water into the coffee maker.

Jim left the apartment, not really looking forward to facing Mac now that he was awake. He found him downstairs in the dojo, halfway through a kata. Jim went back to the wall to wait, watching the deadly control of Mac's movements. He was impressed, in spite of himself.

Jim was surprised when Duncan turned to look at him as soon as he completed the form. He hadn't thought that Duncan was even aware of his presence. His eyes were a darker brown than he'd ever seen them, and his heart accelerated beyond what it should have been for the work out he'd just finished.

"Ready?" Duncan asked him sharply, bending down to pick up his towel.

"Yeah. Mac, look, I think..."

Duncan cut him off, still staring directly into the Sentinel's eyes. "I don't want to talk. Are you here to run?"

Jim stifled his anger, exhaling a noisy breath. "Let's go."

They left, not speaking another word to each other. Duncan drove aggressively, knuckles white on the steering wheel, but Jim didn't say anything. If they could get through this morning without beating the crap out of each other, then maybe later they could talk.

Blair stood in the bathroom, his coffee cup on the edge of the sink. He contemplated his reflection solemnly, turning his head from side to side to see the extent of the damage. It was impressive. Jim had managed to mark almost every inch of his neck and shoulders. There were several places where the bruises had formed in the shape of his teeth, and the indentation of each small tooth could be seen.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Blair asked his reflection softly. I wasn't, Blair answered himself, thinking that he really hadn't been thinking at all. It had seemed like the only way to give Jim what he needed, absolute certainty that his Guide was really his. That's true, but it's only half of it, Blair scolded himself, shaking his head in the mirror. "Admit it. You wanted it. You wanted it bad."

Yes, he had, and it had been absolutely incredible, but if it cost him Duncan, Blair knew he would regret it forever. "Oh man, I blew it. I pushed him too far... Oh God, Duncan, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot."

Blair remembered the look on his lover's face, and the cold, impersonal tone of his voice when he told him to tell Jim he'd be downstairs. Where Blair wasn't, where he didn't have to look at him or talk to him. Duncan had never spoken to him like that before. They'd had a couple of silly arguments, each ended with them laughing at themselves, as soon as they realized they were arguing. He'd never spoken to him like that, though, as if he was someone Duncan barely knew, and didn't think very much of at all.

Blair sighed miserably, feeling like he wanted to cry, and made himself leave the bathroom. Flopping down on Jim's couch, he couldn't stop himself from going over the whole scene in his head again. The hurt that followed the surprise in Duncan's eyes had been covered very quickly. He's angry, he's angry because I hurt him. He must feel like this is a betrayal, letting Jim rub his face in it... Blair's thoughts trailed off, anxiety growing to overwhelming proportions inside him.

"You fucked up," Blair told himself, going back to the coffee pot for a second cup. He stood at the counter, staring off into space and wondering if Duncan and Jim were talking, fighting, or giving each other the silent treatment. Neither of them were very good at talking when they were angry.

Blair sighed, annoyed with himself for the sound of it. He didn't want to be here right now, in Jim's apartment. The place smelled like him, and the events of last night were too close for him to block out. He couldn't think about it now, he was too upset. If he started analyzing everything that he and Jim had done now, it would only give him more to worry about. Blair decided that he couldn't handle anymore right now. Going back upstairs didn't sound like the best plan either, he wasn't sure he wanted to be there when Duncan got back. The way he'd looked at him before he walked out made it very clear that he wanted some space. Blair decided he'd go downstairs to the dojo and work on the tai chi exercises Duncan had been teaching him. It might help clear his head, and in any case, it was a place that was neither Jim's nor Duncan's, and neutral territory was definitely the safest place to be.

Blair got up from the couch, going back to the bed and finding his jeans and t-shirt. He pulled on the jeans, and grabbed the rest of his clothes. Stopping at the counter top to turn off the coffee pot, he left Jim's apartment, locking the door behind him.

Blair jogged up the two flights of stairs to the loft, glad that Duncan had left it unlocked for him. As usual, he hadn't thought about keys. He'd been more than half asleep when Jim had carried him downstairs last night. Tossing his clothes in the hamper, Blair took a quick shower. This time, he avoided the mirror, brushing his teeth quickly and not bothering to shave. He put on a turtle neck, which hid the worst of the damage, and a pair of soft, baggy jeans that would give him enough room to move. Duncan and Jim had only been gone ten minutes, but he hurried anyway.

When he got downstairs, Blair was surprised to find Spencer in the office. He was sorting though a large box on the desk, pulling out strings of Christmas lights and decorations.

"Hey dude. How's it going?" Spencer called out, coming out of the office to greet him.

Blair rubbed a hand quickly over his face, and tried to sound cheerful. "Morning Spence. You're here early."

"Yeah, it's gorgeous out, really clear, not too cold. I had to get out. I've got a pot of coffee going, should be ready in a minute. Do you know if Mac has more lights upstairs?"

"Yeah, we have at least a dozen more strings. No more coffee, I'm already caffinated. Want some help?"

Blair wandered over to the office, leaning on the wall just inside the doorway. Spencer went back to the desk, where two of the four big packing boxes had already been opened. He smiled at Blair, showing large, even teeth. Spencer was at least three inches taller than Duncan, and lanky. He towered over Blair, but always remembered to stand far enough back that Blair didn't have to crane his neck up to look at him.

"Yeah, sure, I'm just starting to unpack everything. Guess we should string the lights first, huh?"

Blair nodded, trying to make his brain shift gears. "Yeah, I guess. The ceiling's pretty high out there, do we need a ladder?"

"Got one. Mac and Jim go running?"

Blair raised two fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing gently in an attempt to relieve the headache trying to sneak up on him. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure they did." He watched Spencer pull a few more glittery items out of the box. "Oh man, those are awesome."

Spencer held up matching three dimensional snowmen to hang from the ceiling. "Yeah, these guys are cool. Did you see the elves?" Blair pushed himself off the wall to dig through the other box. He cataloged the contents as he removed them.

"Streamers, cool. A ton of garland. Snowflakes. Hey, check this out, ornament hangers."

Spencer took the small box of hangers from him, setting it on top of the filing cabinet so it wouldn't get lost. "That's cool, we ran out last year, had to get creative with paper clips."

Blair watched Spencer pull two blue aerosol cans out his box, along with several sheets of stencils with holiday themes. "What's that?" Blair asked curiously, reading the print on the can. "Snow? I don't get it."

Spencer was looking at him in disbelief. "Dude! You never had snow in a can when you were a kid?"

Blair shook his head, baffled. "No, man. I'm Jewish. We didn't do much holiday stuff, unless me and my Mom were staying with relatives, and then it was Chanukah, not Christmas. So what's it for, the tree?"

"No, dude, the windows. You hold the stencils up and spray across them and you get powder that sticks to the windows, looks like snow. It's really cool."

"Sounds like it. Let's see." Blair returned Spencer's grin enthusiastically, following him out of the office and across the dojo to the big doors that separated the dojo proper from the entranceway. Each had a large pane of glass in the upper half of the wood. Spencer held one of the stencils, in the shape of a Christmas tree with a star on the top, and handed Blair a can of snow. "Go for it, dude."

Blair laughed, shaking up the can. He was surprised by the force with which the stuff came out, and tried to cover the space within the stencil evenly. He couldn't really see if he'd gotten it right at first, but when Spencer lifted the plastic stencil sheet, there was a perfect Christmas tree made of sparkling snowflakes on the window pane.

"Wow! That's really pretty."

"Good job, here do another one." Spencer held up another stencil sheet, this one had Santa in his sleigh, with a string of reindeer.

They spent the next half hour covering all the glass in the dojo with the spray-on snow, taking turns holding the plastic sheets and creating the pictures. They'd worked their way to the outside doors and were on their second can of snow when Duncan and Jim pulled up in the T-bird.

Blair felt his heart jump in his throat, and the stencil he was holding slipped a little on the window. Spencer stopped in mid-spray, waiting for him to reposition it.

"Sorry, man."

"No problem, it'll look fine."

That was the best thing about Spencer, he was so easy-going. Blair had liked him from the first morning he'd wandered into the dojo looking for Duncan. He'd surprised him, looking so obviously like he'd just crawled out of bed. Spencer had only smiled and offered him coffee, not the least bit put out by Blair's presence.

Duncan and Jim got out of the car, walking towards them. They'd run their usual three miles without speaking more than five words between them. Jim smiled at Blair, nodding to Spencer, "Looks great guys. Nice work. Lemme run upstairs and shower and we'll get on the lights."

"Okay, sounds good." Blair told him, relieved to see that Jim seemed calm, and in a reasonably good mood. Duncan, on the other hand, didn't look any less angry than he had when he'd left Jim's apartment.

"I'll be down shortly." He muttered, walking past Jim and down the hall to the elevator, a towel slung over his shoulder.

Jim exhaled a frustrated breath, and let his long look at his Guide express his feelings before he followed Duncan inside.

"Um, you know, I think maybe I should go upstairs and see if I can get the rest of the lights and the stuff we bought at the mall. I'll be back down in a few minutes, okay?" Blair watched Duncan's back, biting his lip.

Spencer shrugged, not completely oblivious to the tension between the three of them. "No problem, take your time. I'll sort out the rest of the ornaments."

Blair didn't give himself time to hesitate outside the door to the loft, afraid that he would lose his nerve and go back downstairs. Pushing the door open resolutely, he followed the sound of running water to the bathroom door, knocking gently.

"Duncan? Can I come in?" He called, shifting his weight anxiously from one foot to the other. He didn't have any idea what to say about the marks all over his neck, he just knew they had to talk about it.

Duncan made a noncommittal sound from the shower stall, and turned his back when Blair stepped into the bathroom. Sitting down uncertainly on the lid of the toilet, Blair began to pick absentmindedly at the cuticles of his left hand with the thumbnail of his right.

"Um...Duncan, I know you're like, pretty upset right now, but I wanna talk about it. I'm really sorry."

Duncan spun around in the shower staring at him furiously through the glass door. "You're sorry!"

Blair tried to interrupt, too upset to keep quiet. His words came out in a rush, "Yeah, I am. I'm really sorry, Duncan, it just happened..."

Duncan shook his head, turning off the water with an angry jerk. "I don't want you to apologize to me. Tell the Blair Sandburg who didn't want to be Jim's property any longer that you're sorry. Tell it to the person who said 'My days of submitting to Jim Ellison's will are long gone.' Tell him! Because he's the one being cheated."

"No, you don't understand, man..."

The glass door swung open and Duncan ripped a towel from the rack, wrapping it tightly around his middle.

"Yes! I do understand. I understand that you think nothing of letting him hurt you, letting him mark you as his property, that you think nothing of yourself!"

"Whoa, listen, Duncan. The whole reason the marks are there in the first place is because Jim saw the bruises you left on me, and he freaked."

"So now you're telling me that Jim marking you like a head of cattle is my fault?" Duncan's voice was quiet with controlled fury. He forced himself to look away from the injured look in Blair's blue eyes, it was only making him angrier.

Blair was shaking his head, holding his palms up helplessly in the air in front of him, beseeching Duncan to listen. "No, man. Duncan, please, try to understand this. When he saw the bruises you left on my shoulders, he zoned. It upset him, a lot. For basically the same reason that you're upset now. Jim couldn't understand how I could let you hurt me."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Duncan argued fiercely, reaching for the brush on the counter top and yanking it brutally through his wet hair.

"I know that, but that's not the point. What Jim did wasn't in retaliation, and it wasn't what you think, honestly. I mean, yeah, he needed to mark me, but I had to talk him into it. It's just, ah, once he did bite me, it kinda got out of hand. I didn't encourage him to do it to submit to him, not at all." Blair paused to suck in air, exhaling through his teeth in frustration.

"Okay, bear with me here, this just isn't that easy to explain, I haven't thought about it enough myself yet. I do know that hurting me was the farthest thing from his mind, and he didn't. Incidentally, you didn't either. I'm not made of glass. I'm really, really, sorry that what happened upset you. I can understand that there's a territorial thing going on here, Duncan, but I think you're gonna have to admit that you're angry at him for acting on things that you're feeling. I mean, look, you're both totally alpha, and you're both normally super secure with yourselves. Everything that's happened in the past few days has put you both in defensive positions, whether either of you will admit it or not. Now, I'm not saying that the solution is to use me for a human map to mark your territory on, but Duncan, he needed it, and I think I did too. I wasn't really thinking, I don't even remember what I said. He was zoned out, and then I had to badger him to get him to tell me what was wrong, and it was the marks of your fingers on my shoulders. He could see your fingerprints on my skin. It was the only way I could think of to make it better."

Duncan took a long, deep breath, trying to understand what Blair was attempting to tell him. They were both so worked up that he doubted that either of them were making sense. "I'm sorry. I'll calm down if you will, and then maybe we can talk about this rationally."

Duncan didn't sound like he'd listened to much of his botched attempt to explain what had happened last night, but Blair agreed anyway. "Okay, I'll let you shave and meet you in the kitchen." He got up slowly, Duncan thought he looked exhausted by the day already. He reached out a hand to catch his lover's arm, pulling him briefly against his chest. "I'm sorry. I think I was a bit out of line. I shouldn't yell at you like that. I love you."

Blair nodded solemnly, in total agreement. "I love you too. Get dressed, we'll talk."

Spencer and Jim both looked up when Duncan and Blair stepped out of the elevator. They both looked more relaxed. Spencer was on the ladder, and Jim was handing him small pieces of tape, his other hand holding the trailing end of the Christmas lights. Spencer looked quickly back to Jim, concerned. He'd noticed that Jim was upset about something this morning, his friend was even less talkative than usual.

Spencer had taken an immediate liking to the older man, who seemed so out of place living in Mac's loft. He'd seemed out of place in Seacouver all together at first, but slowly he was adjusting to his new home. Jim was good company, and a dependable third hand and work-out partner in the dojo, which he greatly appreciated.

"Hey Mac, how's it going? Somebody called for you while you were upstairs, think it was the guys who did the estimate on the weight room. Number's on your desk."

"Thanks, Spence, I'll deal with it later. I don't think we're going to do anything before the holidays are over. We've got another dozen strings of lights for you. Are you dizzy on that ladder yet?"

Duncan came over the base of the tall ladder to look up at his manager, who was standing on the last step, his long arms raised over his head to the reach the dojo's high ceiling. Blair followed him, carrying the shopping bag full of lights and tinsel.

"No, I'm not dizzy, but do you still have that radio in the office? I brought some Christmas music with me for us to listen to while we decorate."

"Yeah, sure, I'll go get it."

Spencer climbed down the ladder, following Duncan to the office to get the cd out of his coat pocket. Blair came over to stand next to Jim, feeling shy and not really knowing why. "Hi. How's it going?"

"I've had better mornings. Started out really nice though."

Blair looked up at him quickly, surprised, and then his face split into a wide grin.

Duncan returned from the office with a two rolls of tape and three boxes of garland under his arm. Spencer brought the radio to the office doorway, setting it down on the floor and turning up the volume. "Deck the Halls" filled the air and Duncan laughed, "That's appropriate. Will you help me string these around the woodwork Blair?"

"Sure." Blair took a roll of tape from Duncan and began ripping off small pieces to hand to his lover.

Spencer was up on the ladder again, with Jim directing the placement of the lights and handing him up strips of tape. Spencer hummed along with the carols, and soon Blair joined him, singing along to the ones he knew and humming the rest.

Duncan and Blair hung tinsel all the way around the dojo, looping the red and silver strings on the dark woodwork. All four of them worked in silence for a several minutes, until finally Jim broke it, asking Spencer cheerfully, "So, Spence, what are doing for Christmas, do you have plans?"

"Oh yeah, my sister's been doing Christmas dinner since my Mom died almost ten years ago. She's married, and I've got two nephews, eight and twelve. They're great kids, really cool. I'll go over there early Christmas morning. Nick and Pete will want me to be there to watch them open presents. We do Christmas lunch instead of dinner, and then the kids go over to their Dad's parents and we get to relax and recover."

"Sounds nice. I think I'm being dragged to Joe's for some sort of grand buffet." Jim grinned up at Spencer on the ladder.

"You'll love it, it's a bash. Hey, Mac, is Richie coming home for Christmas this year?" Spencer called to his boss across the big room.

"Yeah, he should be here a couple days before. He's in Florida, racing."

"That's great. I haven't seen him in ages. Does he need a place to crash?"

Duncan smiled at his manager, thinking that Spencer was not only very perceptive, but also kind and thoughtful. "I think he'd really appreciate that Spence, thanks."

"Oh, no problem, Mac, it'll be great to have him."

Duncan and Blair finished the garland and started putting up the paper wall decorations. Each time Blair took the tape from him, he brushed Duncan's hand, smiling up into the dark eyes. Duncan was quiet at first, but gradually, he gave into Blair and Spencer's enthusiasm, and relaxed a little. "Turn the lights off, Caro, let's see what this extravagance looks like."

Spencer had climbed down from the ladder, he and Jim were sorting out the strings of lights that were left. Blair ran to the wall switch, turning off all lights before he plugged in the extension cord. Running back to Duncan's side, he looked up, spinning in a slow circle. "Oooh, wow! That's beautiful."

Spencer and Jim had made five pointed stars with the strings of lights, covering the entire ceiling with blinking colored stars.

"Glad you like it, Chief. I think it looks good, too."

"Oh yeah, we outdid ourselves here, Dude, it's fantastic. I don't know how you managed to get the stars so straight, they're perfect."

"Nice job guys." Duncan was proud of himself when his voice didn't sound forced. Jim looked up at him in surprise, offering a tentative smile.

"Thanks, Mac. What's next?" Jim returned the extra lights to their box, and walked it over to the corner where the rest of the decorations were stacked.

"Um, well, let's see... We've got all the games for the party upstairs, I think we can wait till next weekend to worry about ordering the food from the deli. I guess the next thing to do is go get a tree.

"Hey, Mac, if you don't need me anymore, I'm gonna take off. I'm going to pick the boys up from school for my sister today. She's Christmas shopping."

"Sure, no problem, Spence. Thanks for coming over. You won't miss decorating the tree, we'll have to set it up and wait a day for the branches to fall anyway."

"Okay, Mac, thanks, I'll see you in the morning then. Take it easy Jim, Bye Blair." Spencer went back to the office for his backpack, throwing them a wave over his shoulder on his way out the door.

"So, listen, Duncan, I'm gonna go upstairs and get some cleaning done. If you need help hauling the tree in just gimme a holler..."

Blair was just coming out of the office, where he'd been digging through the boxes, doing an inventory on what was left.

"Aw, come on, Jim, come pick out a tree with us. Don't you want one for your place?" Blair looked beseechingly at Duncan, and then at Jim.

Duncan almost laughed at his lover's blatant manipulation, but with eyes like that, how could he refuse? "Come on, Jim, let's go get a tree. We need to take your truck anyway, I'm not tying three Christmas trees to the roof of the T-Bird."

Jim chuckled, "Okay, I guess I can drive. I don't want a tree though, too many pine needles. I'll get a wreath for the door or something."

Blair still looked concerned. "Are you sure? You have such cool ornaments."

Blair thought about the Christmases in Cascade. Jim had ornaments from all over the world, collected during his years in the Army. The first year, he'd told Blair a story for almost every ornament he hung on the tree. Just the thought of a young, uniformed Jim picking out delicate blown glass ornaments in a little shop in Switzerland had made him smile.

"No, Chief, not this year, I'm sure. There'll be two other trees around, and I just don't feel like dealing with all the production."

"If you'd like, you could always hang some of them on our tree upstairs." Duncan said quietly, taking Blair's hand and walking over to where Jim stood, near the elevator.

"That's really nice of you, Duncan. Even if he doesn't want to, I do. Jim has incredible ornaments, from all over the place."

"I think the decision's been made, Mac. I'll drag them out of the closet tonight."

"Good. So, two trees, and some wreaths. I think we should go to that lot we saw on the way home this morning, they looked like they had some nice trees." Duncan told him, holding up the elevator gate.

"Okay, sounds good. I'll get my coat and meet you guys downstairs." Jim got off at the third floor, exhaling a breath of relief as he headed down the hall to his apartment door. This day was going far better than he'd hoped it would when he'd woken up that morning. It was Blair. He was the hardest person to stay angry at in the world; he knew that from personal experience. When Blair decided it was time to ease the tension, it was almost impossible to ignore his enthusiastic efforts.

Blair, Duncan and Jim sat quietly in the truck, waiting for the old Ford to warm up before pulling out into traffic. Blair was in the middle, his knees drawn up so that Jim could shift. When the idle had come down and Jim had pulled out onto the street, Blair looked back and forth between them, asking quietly, "So, do we wanna talk about this?"

Jim and Duncan glanced at each other quickly over Blair's head, both smiling when they told him "No" in unison.

"Come on, guys, I don't want us to be upset with each other. I don't want there to be all this underlying tension. Why can't we just talk about it?"

"Caro..."

"Chief..."

Again, they spoke in almost perfect unison, the same tone of patient aggravation in their voices. Jim and Duncan cracked up, grinning at each other across Blair's head.

"See, sweetie, no tension. Everything's all right." Duncan pressed a quick kiss to Blair's worried forehead.

The light changed, and Jim put the truck back in gear. When he'd shifted through third, he wrapped his arm around his Guide's shoulders, squeezing reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Chief. We're not gonna spoil your Christmas."

Jim, Duncan and Blair stood grouped around a Douglas Fir in a corner of the tree lot. Blair and Jim both had their hands shoved deep in their pockets, it was bitter cold and the wind was blowing. Duncan was holding the tree up for their inspection.

"No way, man, it's gotta be way bigger than that. The one for the dojo has to be taller than me. The one for upstairs can be a little smaller." Blair was bouncing up and down as he spoke, trying to keep warm.

Duncan laughed, rejecting the tree and following them to the next prospect. Jim was reading the tag tied to one of the pine's branches.

"What do you think, Chief? It's a Blue Spruce. Kinda pricey but it's nice and full."

"I don't know, hold it up."

Jim reached into the tree, grasping the trunk and leaning it upright for Blair's inspection. "Not bad."

"Not bad? It's perfect! This is it. This is definitely the right tree!" His cheeks were red from the cold and his hair bounced as spoke.

"For downstairs, I hope." Duncan told him indulgently, coming to stand next to his lover. The tree was at least a foot taller than Blair, and bushy, with short, dark green needles. "It is a pretty one."

"Isn't it gorgeous? Now all we have to do is find one for the house." He was already scanning the lot.

The man who ran the lot headed their way, seeing Jim holding the huge tree. "Can I help you gents? That's a beaut you've got there."

"Yes it is, we'll take it. We need to find one more, as well." Duncan explained as the tree guy saw dollar signs ringing up in front of his eyes.

"No problem my friend." He stuck a sold tag on the tree. "Now, what are you looking for?"

Jim cut him off before he could break into a sales pitch. "Nothing in mind, thanks. I think we'll just look around."

As soon as the man walked away Blair burst into full rant. "Oh man, was that guy slick, or what? I thought I was at a used car dealership for a minute there. This is Christmas, right? Everybody's supposed to be getting into loving their fellow man, spreading cheer."

"He's just out to make a buck, Chief, but you're right, he is pretty slick."

Duncan had wandered off towards another row of trees, one near the end had caught his eye. "Hey, Blair, what do you think of this one? It's a White Pine."

Blair grabbed Jim's hand, dragging him over to see Duncan's tree. "Ooh, I think I like it. It's different. Really long needles. Feel it, Jim, they're really soft."

Jim humored him, running his hand over a branch. "Nice. Think it'll hold the ornaments? They won't slide off?"

"No, I think they'll hold. Do you like it Caro?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think I do. We've never had a long needle tree, have we Jim? It smells great. Turn it around for me? Gotta make sure there aren't any bare spots."

Duncan spun the tree around for him slowly, watching Blair and Jim's nods of approval. "Do we have a winner here?"

"Yep, sold. Where's Sal the Supersalesman?"

Jim laughed, throwing his arm around Blair's shoulders. It felt good to be alive today. The air was cold and crisp, the sun was shining, and Blair's smile was enough to make him grin all by itself.

"I'll go find him. Pick out a couple wreaths, Jim, we need one for the dojo, too, don't you think?"

"Absolutely, I'll find a really big one for downstairs. Spencer has red bows we can put on it; he said he wanted the biggest wreath I could find."

"Great, I'll see if the guy has rope to tie the trees up with." Duncan went off to find the tree man.

Jim and Blair had found three wreaths and two long strings of pine boughs for the dojo by the time Duncan returned, tree salesman in tow.

"Okay, gents, you're all set. Trees in the truck and ready to go. Did you want those as well, sir?" The man directed his gaze to Jim, who was holding the wreaths.

"Yes, put it on my card." Duncan reached for his wallet, handing over his American Express Platinum Card.

"Very good. I'll be right back with a receipt for you. Now do you folks need lights, or tree stands? We have a huge selection of lights this year, top notch prices, too."

"No, thank you, we're fine." Jim told him smoothly, backing it up with a stare that brooked no argument.

"Okay then, be sure to tell your friends about us. I'll be right back with your receipt."

Blair rolled his eyes at the man's back, slipped an arm through Duncan's. "Unreal. Do you think he robbed us blind?"

Duncan laughed, "Who cares? It's Christmas."

He signed the receipt, pocketing his copy, handing back the pen and the other half of the sales slip.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas."

"You too, guys. Come back next year!"

The three of them walked to the truck, depositing the wreaths and strings of pine branches in the bed. Blair climbed in, scooting over to make room for Duncan. When they were all in the truck, Duncan asked him, "Am I squashing you, Blair?"

"Yeah, but it's good. I'm freezing. Get closer."

Duncan laughed, and obliged, wrapping his arm around his lover to pull him close. Jim smiled, simply happy to see Blair happy. "I'll crank the heat, it'll warm up in here in a second."

"Thanks. It's really getting cold. I hope it doesn't stay this cold, or it won't snow for Christmas."

"Well, you've got a better chance for snow here than you did in Cascade, at any rate." Duncan unzipped his coat, already warm in the close confines of the truck.

"That's true. It might be nice to have real snow instead of cold rain or hail for Christmas, huh, Chief?"

"I am so there, man."

Blair held the door open for Duncan and Jim, who each had their arms full, carrying a tree. Jim had the big one balanced on his shoulder, one hand steadying the trunk and the other holding onto the tree father down.

He set the huge tree down against the wall just inside the dojo with a grunt of relief. Duncan was heading for the elevator with his. "I'll take this one upstairs and set it up and bring down the stand for the other."

"Great, we'll get the wreaths out of the truck," Jim told him, making sure the tree would stay upright against the wall when he let go of it. "Come on, Chief, let's get the rest of it." Jim held the door open for his Guide, following him back out into the cold.

Blair pulled down the tailgate on the pickup, and Jim began pulling the branches forward for him. "Hey, hold your arm out," Jim instructed, and Blair raised his arm out to the side, a confused look on his face. Jim grinned playfully, and quickly hung all three wreaths off Blair's arm.

"Jim!" Blair cried, laughing at his own gullibility.

"Okay." Jim took one wreath off Blair's arm, and dropped it over his head before Blair could stop him.

"Jim! Get this thing off my head!"

Jim took the wreath back, his eyes laughing with his Guide's. Impulsively, Blair dropped the other two, and wrapped his arms around Jim's waist. Jim hugged him back, pulling him tightly against his long body. Blair rubbed his face against Jim's chest, thinking that he couldn't possibly have imagined being this happy last Christmas. He was incredibly lucky.

Jim realized he was standing on the street, hugging Blair in broad daylight, and that he didn't give a damn. "Merry Christmas, Chief."

"Merry Christmas, Jim."

Blair let go, picking up the wreaths and waiting while Jim gathered the strings of branches. They went back inside, trying to decide where the best place to place their enormous tree would be. They talked about it until Duncan came back, deciding that up front was best.

"How about over here?" Blair called to Duncan, when he stepped out of the lift with tree stand in hand.

"Good spot. Let me help you drag it over there, Jim."

They wrestled the tree into it's stand, Blair kneeling on the floor to help guide the tree into place. Duncan held the tree upright while Blair turned the metal screws that held it in place. Jim stepped back, assessing the straightness of the tree's placement. "Little to the left, Mac, you're crooked."

"By how much, a centimeter?" Duncan kidded, tilting the tree a little to the left. He was beginning to learn that between Jim's Sentinel abilities and his somewhat exacting nature, it was good to define these helpful directions.

"No, smartass, about two inches. There, perfect. You got it, Blair?"

"Almost, hang on... Okay, let go."

Duncan stepped back and they all surveyed the tree. "It's great, looks even bigger in here than it did on the lot." Blair told them happily.

"It's gonna be a bitch to decorate. I think we're going to need a ladder for the top branches. It'll look great when it's done, though." Jim commented, walking slowly around the wide spruce.

"No problem, we have ladders. It's the perfect size. The kids' eyes are going to pop out of their heads when they see it." Duncan smiled, wrapping an arm around Blair's shoulders. Blair leaned against him, almost losing his balance.

"Man, I'm exhausted, and starving, too. I think I should go upstairs and make us massive cheeseburgers."

"You feeling alright, Chief?"

Blair laughed, "You guys deserve it. Consider them a reward for making an effort not to bite each other's heads off."

"In that case, I want grilled onions and tomato. Swiss cheese." Jim's deadpan made Duncan laugh.

"I think we should get french fries out of this too, don't you, Jim? And possibly brownies."

"Definitely brownies."

"You're both pushing it,." Blair warned, grinning at his Sentinel and then his lover. "You weren't that nice. Either of you."

"Yes we were," Jim argued, visions of Blair's walnut fudge brownies dancing in his head.

"Oh all right, but it's 'cause it's Christmas." Blair relented, following Jim and Duncan to the elevator.

Blair stood at the stove, spatula in hand. The burgers were almost done, grilled onions and slices of tomato and lettuce were on a plate on the counter. Jim sat on the end of the counter, swinging his legs and keeping up a running commentary on the state of the burgers for Mac, who was across the room, putting water in the tree stand.

When he'd finished with the tree, Duncan came into the kitchen to wash his hands at the sink. Blair flipped the burgers, looking up at Jim and shaking his head in mock wonder. "Man, if anybody had ever told me I'd see Jim Ellison sitting on a kitchen counter top I'd laugh in their face. I gotta get a picture of you like that."

"Yeah, but it's not my counter, it's yours." Jim reasoned, grinned back. His attention turned quickly to Duncan, whose hand had frozen in mid-air, halfway to the water faucet.

"Hey, Duncan, you okay?"

Duncan didn't answer for a moment, and Jim turned to Blair, who was watching Duncan with apprehension, but not surprise.

Finally, the other man answered him, "Yeah, I'm fine. I think someone's come in downstairs, I'm going to go see who's here."

Duncan moved towards his coat, grateful that the katana was in the trenchcoat's sewn-in sheath.

Jim frowned, tuning his hearing to the lower floors of the building. "No one's in the dojo, Mac." He watched Duncan carefully, listening to the gradual acceleration of his heart rate and breathing. He nodded to Jim, but put his coat on anyway. When he had it half way on, he apparently changed his mind, and took it off again. "I guess you're right. Are those burgers done yet, Blair?"

"Yeah, almost." Blair's worried eyes searched Duncan's. His lover shrugged slightly, trying to reassure him with his smile.

Jim cast a long look between them, getting the feeling that he was definitely missing out on something. Blair and Duncan were both quiet for the next few minutes, but gradually, their tension seemed to abate.

They ate lunch on the couch, and talked about their plans for the party. The afternoon passed quickly, all three of them reluctant to move off the couch after their long morning and heavy lunch.

When five o'clock came, Duncan switched on the t.v., turning to local news for a weather report. They watched the day's top stories, each of them commenting on the different reports. Halfway through the broadcast, Duncan rose abruptly to his feet, the same intent expression on his face.

"Duncan?" Blair murmured, reaching for his hand. He recognized the look of Duncan listening to another Immortal's presence instantly, and his stomach turned over. His lover squeezed his hand, then let go, crossing the room to where his coat hung on the rack. "I just realized we don't have any eggnog in the house. Can't have Christmas without eggnog. I'll just run out and get some. I'll be back. I love you, Blair. Don't forget."

He was gone before Jim could do anything but stare back at him in confusion. When the door had closed he turned to his Guide. "Okay, Sandburg, what the hell is going on here?"

Blair's eyes held his for only a second before darting away. He took a deep breath, standing up and going quickly to the kitchen. He needed to have something to do with his hands, maybe that way he could talk to Jim without blowing Duncan's cover.

"What do you mean, Jim?"

"Don't play games with me Blair. We said no more lies. What's going on?"

Jim watched trepidation and anxiety move across Blair's face, his hands scrubbing aggressively at the dirty pan soaking in the sink.

"Duncan had to go. I can't tell you, Jim, I'm sorry. He'll be back." Blair repeated his last words again under his breath, telling himself he had to believe them.

"What the hell can't you tell me? Blair, you're scared to death. This is ridiculous, something is obviously wrong. Tell me."

"It's not my secret to tell. I can't break Duncan's trust, you gotta be able to understand that, man. It's not like he wanted to tell me, I just sort of... I can't talk about this, okay? I'm sorry."

Jim studied his Guide's face carefully, taking in the defensive set of Blair's shoulders and the resolve in the blue eyes. It shocked him, that Blair really wasn't going to tell him, even though he was as distressed as Jim had ever seen him. It hurt too, to know that Blair didn't trust him, that there was something he would hold back from him. That it was about Duncan only made him angry. Wasn't Blair the one who kept preaching openness and honesty in this situation?

"You're really not going to tell me what's going on?" Jim gave his Guide one more chance, looking at him with concern and irritation.

Blair only shook his head, not looking up from the plate he was attacking the sink. "I can't."

He didn't even sound that upset about it. Jim shook his head, trying to shake off the anger. It only helped a little. He made himself take a deep breath before he spoke, he didn't want to lose control of his temper, not with Blair. Not ever again.

"Okay, fine. If you're not going to trust me enough to confide in me, then I can't do anything to help you. I'm not gonna sit up here and watch you worry yourself to death. I'll be downstairs if you decide you need me."

Blair sat cross legged on the bed, hugging Duncan's pillow. He'd spent the last hour alternating between worrying about Duncan and wondering if he'd done irreversible damage to Jim's trust by not telling him. He couldn't, though. He couldn't break the word he'd sworn to his Immortal lover, not for anything. Duncan had made very sure that he understood that 'no matter what' meant absolutely that, and nothing less. It was the biggest compliment Duncan could give him, trusting him with this secret, and he simply would not break that trust.

"I'm sorry, Jim, please don't be mad at me, man. Please." Blair spoke quietly, wondering if Jim was listening or not.

He pushed his face into Duncan's pillow, anxiety rising to frightening proportions inside him. He'd thought about this so many times, how he would have to handle it when Duncan had to take a challenge. Now that it was happening, he couldn't believe he'd let himself be left behind. He should have run after Duncan. At least that way he'd be there, and know if... No, he couldn't let himself think about it. Duncan would come back. He was good, very good, Blair reminded himself, trying to push the fears out. But what if his opponent was better? What if they tricked him? Or broke the rules?

Eventually, his anxiety forced him off the bed, unable to sit still for another minute. Blair went to his tapes in their box on the shelves, searching until he found Bob Marley. Putting the tape in Duncan's deck, he turned the volume up, hoping that the music would block out the sound of his pacing from Jim's Sentinel ears.

Part 24

By Zen&nancy

Jim Ellison was giving the heavyweight bag a run for it's money. He hit it as hard as he could, over and over again. His knuckles were going to be swollen and sore tomorrow, in spite of the gloves he wore. He didn't care, he had to do something, and this was better than sitting upstairs in his apartment listening to Blair pace above him.

He was playing his Bob Marley tape, which worried Jim. He always played that tape when something was seriously upsetting him. Every time he'd gone undercover without him, he'd come home to find Blair curled up asleep in his clothes on the couch, the tape set to play over and over in the deck. He'd played it after Lash, too, singing one song in particular over and over again.

Jim had kept his hearing tuned to his Guide since the moment he'd walked out of the loft. He couldn't help it, Blair was afraid, and he couldn't bring himself to leave him entirely, no matter how angry he was. It was easy to see that Blair knew, or at least that he thought, that Duncan was in danger. His Guide's reactions were something he could read with almost faultless accuracy, and upstairs in the loft Blair hadn't even tried to hide his anxiety.

In made him so angry, that after all this time, and everything that had happened, that Blair would hide something this important from him. He was still pacing the loft, singing softly to himself. //singin' don't worry, about a thing, cause every little thing, is gonna be alright.// Jim listened to his Guide's voice, keeping it turned down low and at the back of his consciousness. Blair had taught him that trick, how to turn his senses down to 'monitor' mode. He could tune into something far away, and then push it into the background, so that he could still be aware of what was going on around him. It didn't work all time, but when it came to Blair, it was so much easier. Jim's senses were reaching out to Blair most of the time anyway. He was always peripherally aware of his Guide, no matter what else was happening. Most of the time, it felt like an automatic reaction, to listen for Blair's physical responses to what was going on around them.

It hurt, that Blair put Duncan's trust before his, and it made him suspicious. What was Blair protecting Duncan from by not telling him? Jim hit the bag harder, making it swing a long way away from him and hitting it again when it when it swung half way back. It helped, to throw punches and not care how hard he hit. He fully intended to be here when Duncan walked in the door. He was going to figure out what was going on here, even if he had to sit on Duncan until he told him.

When Mac came through the door forty-five minutes later, Jim raced to his side, all thoughts of making Mac talk forgotten. His sweater was covered with blood, and sliced across his stomach. It looked bad. He was breathing without difficulty, though, and a quick scan of his senses told him he'd gotten here in time. He wasn't in shock yet, although his heart was racing, and his body temperature was above normal.

Jim reached Duncan's side, grabbing his arm and trying to lay him down on the floor. "I'm going to call an ambulance, you're gonna be okay, Mac, lie down."

"Jim! Wait!" Duncan reached out with surprising strength and restrained him, not allowing Jim to walk away. "I'm not hurt, I'm fine."

"Mac!" Jim started to argue, and then he stopped, letting his senses take in what he'd been too focused to see the first time. Duncan wasn't bleeding, he wasn't even bruised. Jim reached for the long tear in his sweater, ripping it apart so that he could see. When he did, his mouth dropped open, and he stood frozen, in total shock. Mac's stomach was perfectly smooth, not the slightest mark beneath the torn, bloody cloth. His hands moved up, grabbing handfuls of the cloth at Duncan's shoulders and backing him forcefully up against the wall.

"What the hell are you?"

Duncan's eyes stared into his, furiously, "Get your hands off me!" His hands came up between them to break Jim's hold, pushing him back with both of his hands in the center of Jim's chest. "Back off!"

The Quickening was racing through his body, making it almost impossible to reign in his temper. Duncan didn't want to fight Jim, but if he didn't get away from him, he was going to. It had been a short fight, too short. He hadn't wanted it in the first place, and now there was nowhere for the extra anger to go.

"Duncan, you'd better start talking, right now. If you're endangering Blair here, I swear to God..." Jim took two steps towards him, getting right back into his face. He was yelling, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Get out of my face!" Duncan shouted back, turning abruptly and stalking down the hall to the lift. Jim stayed right on his heels, still shouting.

"You are going to tell me what the fuck is going on here, you got that?"

"Leave me alone!" Duncan growled back, stalking furiously down the hallway. It was almost impossible to restrain himself. He wanted to turn around and punch Jim in the face.

"If you think you can get Blair mixed up in this without me finding out what the hell is going on you are dead wrong pal!" Jim had followed him into the elevator, slamming the gate down.

Duncan lost it. He grabbed Jim, spinning him around and slamming him into the wall behind them. "I'm not endangering Blair!"

"How can you tell me you're not endangering Blair when you jump up and run out of the house and come back covered in blood, trying to tell me nothing's wrong? What the fuck kind of game are you trying to play here?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"Oh yes you do!"

The elevator stopped and Duncan threw up the gate, stalking into the loft and right into Blair, who had jumped up from the couch to run to him.

"Duncan!" Blair tried to wrap his arms around him, but Duncan pulled roughly away, stalking across the loft to the bathroom.

"Go ahead, tell him! I can't deal with this."

The bathroom door slammed and Blair turned to Jim, who was standing between Duncan's chair and his desk, where Duncan had stopped. He looked at his Guide, anger narrowing his eyes. "What's going on, Sandburg? No more bullshit."

"Sit down, Jim, try and relax." Blair took a deep breath, his brain shifting quickly into second gear. The moment Duncan had appeared, total relief had flooded through him. Realizing the level of tension between his lover and his Sentinel had thrown his adrenaline right back into full swing. Now an even greater sense of relief swept through him, and he had to sit down, falling hard into the corner of the couch. Duncan was going to let him tell Jim. He made himself follow his own instructions along with his Sentinel, telling him to take a deep breath. They exhaled slowly together, angry blue eyes staring into calm, relieved ones.

"This is gonna take awhile to explain, I need you to just calm down and try to relax here, Jim. Duncan's gonna be okay, he's fine, he's just really stressed out and hyper right now. He'll calm down, okay?"

"I'll calm down when I find out what the hell's going on around here. Did you lie to me, Blair?"

Blair could hear the hurt in the angry accusation. He reached for Jim's hand, not surprised when he pulled away. "No. I didn't lie to you, Jim. I wouldn't do that, man. This is going to take some explaining though. Just try and listen with an open mind, okay?"

Jim crossed him arms over his chest. "I'm listening."

"Okay, um... Duncan is Immortal, he isn't human. He doesn't grow old, he can't get sick, and he can't die. Well, there's one way he can die, if you take his head. He just fought another Immortal, and took his Quickening. It's a kind of transfer of the life force. When one Immortal takes another's head the winner absorbs the other's Quickening, their energy, and it adds to his power. It also leaves you really hyper, sometimes worse than others. I'm sure he didn't mean to yell at you, it's just really hard to-"

Jim interrupted, unable to let Blair ramble any longer. "Sandburg, do you hear what you're telling me? You expect me to believe this?"

"Listen to me. Am I lying to you? Duncan is four hundred years old. He is Immortal. He just took another Immortal's head."

Jim shook his head, frowning. "Look, Sandburg, as much as you like to think so, I am not a God damn walking crime lab. No, I don't think you're lying. That doesn't mean this nonsense is true. Just because he gave you some crazy line and you believed it-"

Blair interrupted him, "Like when I told you about Sentinels?"

Jim's memory flashed back to the morning they'd talked about it in the park, and Duncan had compared what he couldn't tell him to his own Sentinel abilities. "You're trying to tell me Duncan is four hundred years old?"

"Four hundred and seven. He'll be four hundred and eight next week."

"You're serious?" Jim's eyes bore into his Guide, trying to find something to make this easier to understand.

"He's an Immortal. They're a race that's been around as long as we have, but it's always been kept a secret. They don't live as a society, they fight each other, because in the end there can be only one."

Duncan came out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist. He stopped at the dresser, pulling a pair of jeans out his drawer and yanking them on without bothering to turn his back to them.

"I see we're just getting to the good part." He spoke sarcastically, going straight from his dresser to the desk, ignoring Blair's concerned look, and Jim's angry one.

Reaching for the Scotch, he poured himself a triple shot and carried it and the bottle back to the couch. He stood for a moment, looking belligerently at the Sentinel before drinking and flopping down between them.

"Don't let me stop you. Keep going."

Blair wanted to reach for Duncan's hand, but he didn't allow himself to. He took a deep breath, and continued. It felt strange, to be telling Jim Duncan's secret in front of him. "Okay, um, there's something called the Prize, it's what you get when you're the last Immortal alive, when you've absorbed the Quickening power from all the others. Nobody really knows exactly what it is, but most Immortals and people who know about them generally associate the last fight with Armageddon and the end of the world. Or at least the end of the way the world is now."

"We're getting a little off track here, Chief. I'm still working on the "he can't die" part. Can I get some hard proof on this, or do you expect me to just believe it?"

Duncan leaned forward, reaching for the bottle. He poured and slammed another drink, coughing as he set the glass back down. His body was starting to react to the alcohol, and calm down a little. "I'd really rather not get blood all over this couch. I'm sick of cleaning it up."

"Jim, I don't think Duncan's really up to killing himself for you right now, okay? Can I go back to what I was trying to tell you, about the Game?"

"No, you can't. You expect me to just believe that if he dies he'll magically come back to life?"

"Oh for God sakes, Blair, get me a knife." Duncan reached for the bottle again, pouring his third drink in as many minutes.

"Duncan, I don't think that's a good idea right now..."

"Just get me a knife, Caro. I'd like to deal with this and get it over with."

What he wanted, was for Jim to get the hell out of his house, and to get Blair out of those clothes and naked beneath him as quickly as possible. He needed it, and the faster he could get Jim to believe him, the quicker he would go downstairs.

Blair sighed in exasperation, and got up from the corner of the couch, going into the kitchen and coming back with the butcher knife. "Here." He offered the knife to Duncan, handle first, still trying to talk him out of it. "If you guys would just let me talk..."

Duncan turned away from him, sitting sideways on the couch facing Jim. "You want to do it? Just so that we have an understanding this isn't a parlor trick?" Duncan pushed the knife handle into Jim's hand, holding out his arm. "Cut me."

"You're serious?" Jim held the knife, staring at Duncan's fist on his knee. He'd pushed up his sleeve, turning his forearm up to expose his skin.

"Go on, do it." Duncan's eyes challenged him, and Jim reached out to take Duncan's arm in his other hand. He held it still, bringing the edge of the knife to rest against his skin. Duncan's eyes held his steadily, showing no trace of fear.

Jim pressed the knife slowly into Duncan's skin, drawing it lightly across his arm. The skin didn't break, and Duncan exhaled in exasperation, "Oh, for God's sakes!" He grabbed the knife back, closing his left hand into a fist to flex the muscle before gouging a deep cut into his forearm. He pulled the knife back, hissing through his clenched teeth.

"What is this supposed to prove?" Jim asked him furiously, shocked by how deeply Duncan had cut himself. He grabbed his arm, trying to put pressure on the wound. Something sparked under his hand, and he pulled back sharply. Blue lines of energy sizzled across Duncan's skin, and as it did, the flesh closed, as if it we're being knit back together.

"Jesus Christ!" Jim grabbed Duncan's arm again, running his finger's lightly over the smooth, unharmed skin. There was no scar, there was no mark at all, when a moment ago, he'd cut deeply into the muscle tissue. He stared at his bloody hands, and at Duncan's arm, unable to look away from the phenomenon.

Duncan endured Jim's hold for another moment before pulling his arm back, leaning forward for his drink. "Satisfied?" He threw the Scotch back, swallowing hard and turning back to Jim's stunned face.

"You're telling me that if you die, the same thing will happen?" Jim asked quietly, finally raising his eyes from Duncan's arm. He couldn't deny what he'd just seen, but it was too unbelievable to understand. How could it be possible, that Duncan wasn't human. How could his senses not have detected it?

"Yes. Unless you sever my head from my body."

"And you just killed somebody?"

"I fought a very stupid boy who thought that if he challenged Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod it would make him a man. I killed him because he left me no choice, not because I wanted to."

When Duncan leaned forward to pour himself another glass of whiskey Blair almost protested, and then he bit his tongue, realizing that it was helping Duncan to open up to Jim. He had a hard time remembering that Immortals could consume astonishing amounts of alcohol without getting sick.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you, Mac," Jim spoke quietly, leaning back into the couch. He felt the pain in Duncan's eyes, and against his own resolve, empathized with it. He knew what it was like to have to kill because that person gave you no other alternative. It explained Duncan's explosive reaction when he'd cornered him downstairs, and now Jim remembered what that had felt like. He'd been terrified, when he saw the blood soaking Mac's sweater, before he'd seen the smooth, whole skin beneath.

Duncan sighed, and got up off the couch. He went to the sink, washing the blood off his healed skin. Jim followed him, washing his hands when Duncan had finished. Jim returned to Blair on the couch, who was watching them both carefully.

Taking his place in the corner opposite Blair, Jim tried to assimilate all the information his Guide had been trying to give him.

"So you're studying him? That's why..."

"No, not at all. This is a secret, you can't tell anybody. No matter what."

Jim nodded, accepting the responsibility. "All right. But you're telling me that you being with Duncan has nothing to do with his Immortality?"

"No, nothing at all," Blair shook his head, smiling at Duncan when he came back, falling down between them.

"I see," Jim spoke quietly, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Duncan poured himself another glass, offering the bottle to Jim with a gesture of his hand. The Sentinel shook his head, watching Duncan gulp his fifth drink.

"You're gonna make yourself sick drinking like that."

Duncan laughed, and poured another. "No, I'm not. I could drink three more bottles and not get sick, or get a hangover. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea." He picked up his glass again, slumping back against the couch.

It was obvious that he wasn't going to get rid of Jim anytime soon, so the next best solution was to drink himself to sleep. Blair was sitting next to him, his legs crossed beneath him on the cushion. He could feel the concern in his lover's watchful gaze, but Blair didn't try to touch him, and he was grateful.

"So you have to fight, you don't have a choice?" Jim asked, remembering the way Duncan had run out of the loft.

Blair answered for him, leaning forward to look at Jim around Duncan. "Not usually. Not all Immortals are like Duncan. Most of them are trying to win the Game, to kill as many Immortals as they can, and make themselves stronger for the Gathering."

"What's the Gathering?"

"It's what's going to happen, what's starting to happen now. The final battle, where they fight each other until there is only one left. Duncan has friends that are Immortal, like him, but strangers usually end up fighting when they meet. He can sense other Immortals, I think that it's probably kinda like your senses, a built-in defense system, to protect yourself. So today, when he felt the other Immortal, he left, so that he wouldn't bring the fight here. Duncan has drummed it into my head that any time we're out in public somewhere and he feels another presence, I'm supposed to run like hell, and get away from him. I'm not crazy about this rule, but I assume that it applies to you, too."

Blair looked at Duncan for confirmation, who turned to Jim, giving him a hard look. "Absolutely."

"What, you expect me to leave you to fend for yourself if some guy wants to chop your head off?"

"Yes, I do. Every time some guy wants to chop my head off. We need to understand that now." Duncan reached for the bottle again, pouring another shot.

"You gotta be kidding..."

"No! You cannot fight my battles."

"I was getting to that," Blair interrupted quietly, easing the tension between them with his voice when he continued. "Okay, so, what Immortals do, the fighting, it's called the Game. There are only a few rules, but you have to abide by them. Almost everybody does, if you don't, other Immortals will get pissed off and hunt you down and take your head. So, they always fight one on one. One Immortal can't interfere in the fight of another, no matter what the circumstances are. Holy ground, any religious place, is sacred, and they can't fight there. Sometimes Immortals chose not to fight, and stay on holy ground for years at a time. Duncan has an island that's Sioux holy ground, he lived with a Sioux tribe a long time ago."

Blair looked quickly at his lover, suddenly concerned that maybe he shouldn't have revealed Duncan's secret place, which he'd promised to take Blair to in the spring. Duncan shrugged, finishing off the last of the Scotch in his glass.

"It's no matter, you may as well tell him everything. Whatever he wants to know."

Jim was surprised to hear Duncan's accent get thicker as he drank. The bottle was half empty, and Mac poured himself another drink. Jim watched him carefully, trying to gauge the other man's mood. Duncan looked like he was starting to wind down a little, he'd been strung as tight as a bow when he'd first come home.

"You know you scared the shit out of me when you came in looking like that, Mac, but I think I'm starting to understand this. You don't have to worry, I'm not going to blow your cover. Is Duncan MacLeod really your name?"

"Of course it's my name," Duncan answered, as if it were a totally ridiculous question. He drank, watching Jim over the rim of the glass.

The other man shrugged, cocking his head at him. "Do all Immortals keep the same name they were born with?"

"No."

"But you did?"

"It's who I am."

Jim nodded, understanding. "Can you really remember everything that you've seen in four hundred years?"

Blair answered, drawing Jim's attention. "They have excellent memories. Duncan can remember things that happened hundreds of years ago vividly, like a childhood memory would be for you or me."

"That's amazing."

"Is it?" Duncan asked, slurring the words a little.

Blair smiled at him affectionately, thinking that Duncan was going to pass out on him about five seconds after Jim left. He'd probably wake up three hours later, horny as goat, but that was fine with him.

"Yeah, Duncan, it really is. Are there ones older than you?"

Duncan laughed, and then a strange look came into his eyes, before he gulped the Scotch in his glass and reached for the bottle again. "Aye, many times older."

Blair watched his lover's face. He was certain that he was thinking about Adam, who he might or might not meet at Christmas. He'd been trying not to worry about it, but now the look in Duncan's eyes brought a whole new set of concerns.

"How far back does this go? All the way?" Jim was determined to get as much information as he could out of Duncan before the other man passed out.

"Farther than you could imagine." Duncan answered, a sharp ache in his gut. He missed Methos, more than he thought he could miss another Immortal. If the old man didn't show up for his birthday, he was going to seriously consider hiring someone to try to find him.

"And some of these other Immortals are friendly, and some are gonna want to fight you to the death when you meet them. How do you tell the difference?"

Duncan laughed, painfully. "Sometimes you can't. Sometimes one becomes the other." He reached for the bottle, not bothering to pour it into his glass anymore.

Jim looked up at his Guide sharply, aware from the sudden rise in the tension level that he had inadvertently asked something he shouldn't have. Blair looked upset, but his eyes were shuttered.

"Most Immortals don't have other Immortal friends, they just don't see it that way. Duncan's kinda special."

"Thank you, Caro." Duncan smiled at him, and Blair smiled back, relieved to have Duncan back with him.

Blair and Jim talked around Duncan for several more minutes, while the Immortal drank steadily, until there was a scant inch of amber liquid left in the bottle. Blair answered Jim's questions, keeping one eye on Duncan, who kept slumping to one side and then recovering. When his head fell onto Jim's shoulder, the larger man pushed him gently away, resting Duncan's head on the back of the couch. He was totally engrossed in the history Blair was explaining to him.

Blair stopped in mid-story to ask him, "Could you grab that, please?" The bottle in Duncan's hand was starting to tilt dangerously. Jim took the empty bottle out of Duncan's hand, leaning forward to set it on the table. Duncan slumped over when Jim moved, falling into the empty space Jim had left. He was passed out cold, his hair falling over his exhausted features.

Jim stood up, and Duncan rolled to his side, claiming the extra space. He muttered something softly, but it was in a language Jim didn't recognize. Blair smiled at his lover affectionately, watching him fall immediately back to sleep again.

"Is this what he does every time he fights?" Jim stared down at Mac's passed out form, smiling in spite of himself. He'd never imagined Duncan drinking himself into a stupor. It had been enlightening, to say the least.

Blair giggled, a slight flush spreading over his cheeks. "Well, I've only seen this once before."

"How are you going to get him to bed?" Jim asked quietly, still looking down at the snoring Immortal.

"I'm not. He'll wake up with a stiff neck, but it won't last long." Blair grinned at him, getting up off the couch. He stretched, feeling his back pop. He was exhausted, too. This day seemed like it had been a week long, at least.

"Do you want me to put him in bed for you?" Jim asked, frowning at the painful looking twist of Duncan's neck in the corner of the couch.

"Can you?"

"Sure. He's not that heavy." Jim squatted next to the couch, getting his arm under Duncan's shoulders and pulling him to the edge. Duncan turned over on his side, making it easier to slip his other arm behind his knees and lift him off the sofa.

Bouncing him once to get a better grip on his load, Jim started to carry him to the bed.

"Thanks for the lift, Superman," Duncan mumbled sleepily, and behind him, Blair burst into laughter.

Jim shook his head at the drunk man in his arms, smiling as he set him down on his bed. Duncan rolled over onto his stomach, and the light snoring resumed immediately.

"Thank you, Jim, I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it."

Blair stood next to the bed, shifting his weight nervously. "You're not mad at me, are you? For not telling you?"

Jim sighed heavily, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know." Jim watched the anxiety in his Guide's beautiful blue eyes, and shook his head. "I guess I'm not. You kept my secret for four years."

Blair smiled, his whole body relaxing in relief. "I'm so glad you can understand, man. I was so afraid this was gonna mess up everything between us. It really is Duncan's thing to tell, though. I couldn't break my word to him..."

"It's okay, Chief. Go to bed, you look exhausted. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay," Blair agreed quietly, then followed him a few steps away from the bed when he turned to go. "Jim, wait."

He turned back, and Blair wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him hard. "Thank you."

Jim felt his hand go to smooth Blair's hair, drawn to the silky curls of it's own volition. "It's okay, Chief, everything's going to be alright."

Blair went up on his tip toes to kiss him chastely. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Blair." Jim smiled, letting the soft brush of his Guide's lips spread slowly through his body.

He turned to go, closing the door quietly behind him. Blair turned off the lights in the loft, and crawled into bed next to Duncan. He fell asleep almost immediately, his head burrowed into Duncan's strong shoulder.

Duncan woke up with Blair half on top of him and a very full bladder. Rolling carefully out from under his lover, he padded quietly to the bathroom. Pissing with a hard-on was always a challenge, but it was even more difficult when you were only half awake.

Crawling back into bed, Duncan took his sleepy, half awake lover in his arms. "I woke you up," he whispered, not really sorry but trying to be.

Blair grinned groggily back at him, "Yes, you did. How did you sleep?"

"Like the dead. What time is it?"

Blair yawned, bracing his hand on Duncan's chest to lift himself up enough to see the clock. "Three am."

"Come back here," Duncan murmured, pulling Blair down to kiss him deeply.

Duncan's mouth devoured him, sucking hungrily on his tongue. He covered Blair with his body, holding him down while he moved to the younger man's neck. He gently sucked over each bite mark Jim had left, soothing the purple bruises with his tongue. This morning's argument was long forgotten as Duncan moved down his lover's body, his aching need pushing everything else aside.

Blair was waking up quickly under Duncan's insistent mouth on his skin. He loved it when Duncan was wild like this. His body arched and twisted under his lover's, trying to increase the contact between their bodies under the blankets. Wrapping his arms tightly around his lover's neck, Blair rolled over, pulling Duncan beneath him with a combination of determination and coercion.

"Mm, good morning, Handsome. Is there anything I can do for you?" Blair whispered teasingly, as his hands fluttered down Duncan's hard body to lightly grasp his straining cock.

"Ah, God, yes, touch me."

Blair complied, wrapping his first gently around the hard flesh, and feeling Duncan shudder into his firm grasp. "Oh, Blair...I need you, Caro, so badly..." Duncan groaned, his head rolling back and forth on the pillow. His lover's fist pumped him slowly, releasing long shudders of pleasure that left him panting for more.

"My poor baby, I know, shh, just relax now..." Blair murmured soothingly, sliding quickly down Duncan's heaving chest to nuzzle into his stomach. His lips dropped warm little kisses across his abdomen, traveling quickly to the bobbing erection. Duncan had been hard and needing this for hours. It was the Quickening, and Blair resolved that his lover would have whatever he wanted tonight.

"Is this what you want, handsome?" Blair whispered, his lips brushing over the dripping head of his cock as he spoke.

"Oh yes, oh God yes, your mouth..." Duncan groaned, arching his hips up to get closer to the soft wetness of Blair's lips.

Soft, heavenly moisture engulfed him, and Duncan groaned helplessly, his hands going to Blair's hair. Plunging into the silky curls, he wrapped the long locks around his fingers, pushing back into the devastating heat of his lover's mouth. Blair relaxed completely under his hands, almost throwing himself down onto the hard cock as he collapsed against Duncan's hip. The expressive surrender was Duncan's undoing, and he cried out sharply, thrusting hard into his lover's slack mouth until he came with a shout and a sharp buck of his hips.

Blair choked a little around the unexpected eruption, wrapping his hand around the pulsing base to hold him still when he started to gag. Duncan groaned in relief, his hands stroking his lover's shoulders lightly in apology for the rough treatment. Blair's mouth released him slowly, sucking the last shudder of his orgasm out of him as he released him from his mouth.

"Better?" Blair whispered against his skin, his fingertips stroking lightly up and down his thighs.

"Umm." Duncan responded, unable to form words after his explosive climax. He took a deep breath, trying to regain his equilibrium. "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to be so rough..."

Blair shook his head, whipping the long curls back and forth across his hip, "Uh-uh. You never hurt me." His fingers continued their light strokes, petting the soft skin of his lover's inner thigh. "But I bet you'll hold still for me this time," Blair whispered seductively, scooting up to take Duncan's still hard cock back into his mouth.

Duncan moaned softly, his hands moving slowly over the smooth skin of Blair's back and shoulders. Blair's mouth caressed him languidly, kissing slowly up and down his length, his tongue fluttering and stroking passionately.

"Oh yes, please more..." Duncan whispered, losing himself to the sweetness of Blair's wet tongue.

Blair smiled against the hot, silky skin, flicking his tongue up and down with little twists and flurries, sucking softly at the base. Nuzzling the delicate skin, his mouth moved slowly over Duncan's balls, listening to the quiet groans of pleasure. Sucking first one, and then the other into his mouth, Blair stretched out between Duncan's legs. Dragging his tongue slowly back up to the tip, Blair took Duncan deep into his mouth. It felt so good, to have the smooth, slick head of Duncan's cock rubbing over the roof of his mouth and back into his throat. Blair moaned softly in pleasure, sucking the hard, thick length greedily, trying to swallow as much of his lover as he possibly could.

Duncan opened his eyes when Blair began to move over him, afraid he would come too soon if he didn't distract himself from the bone melting pleasure. "Oh, Caro... you look so beautiful, sweetheart. Feel so good, so soft..." Duncan moaned, trying to tell his lover what it did to him, to watch him pleasure him this way. Blair groaned softly in response, totally absorbed in the slow, rhythmic thrust of Duncan's cock in his throat. He sucked steadily, almost forgetting to breath in his desire to hold Duncan inside him. "I love you," Duncan told him in a whisper, his hands coming up to rake slowly through Blair's hair.

Blair felt his lover tense up in his mouth, his cock swelling and shuddering deep in his throat. He closed his fist around the base, pumping him slowly, and Duncan came with a long groan, flooding his mouth with hot streams of fluid.

Blair held him in his mouth until his breathing slowed, releasing his softening cock with a final kiss to the crown. "I love you," he whispered, curling up to pillow his cheek on his lover's hipbone. Duncan smiled, dragging his arm over to Blair's shoulder, trying to coax him back up to the head of the bed. Blair wrapped his legs around his thighs, his arms going around Duncan's waist to pull him closer. "Mm, no, don't make me move, this is too wonderful." He whispered, his cheek rubbing contentedly over the hollow of his lover's hip.

"I want to make love to you, I want to make you moan, precious, I want to watch you come for me. Come here," Duncan's voice was a deep, satisfied purr.

Blair shivered in anticipation, crawling up the magnificent body to wrap his arms around Duncan's shoulders, his slightly swollen lips seeking his lover's throat. Large hands moved slowly down his back, caressing him with a firm, gentle touch that took Blair's breath away. Duncan's hands stroked lovingly up and down his body, moving slowly over his ass and down his thighs to the backs of his knees and then back up again, one finger running lightly up between his cheeks.

"Oh yeah, Duncan... Touch me, please... I want you inside me," Blair whispered against his throat, his breath hot over his wet skin.

Duncan rolled from his back onto his side, tucking his lover in against him, his gradually stiffening cock nestling between Blair's cheeks. Reaching over him, he found the lubricant in the night stand, smiling when Blair shivered in anticipation.

Blair groaned quietly when a slick finger penetrated him slowly, pushing inside him and sending sharp shudders of pleasure through his whole body. "Duncan..."

"I know, Caro, I know," Duncan reassured him tenderly, adding a second finger to his gentle thrusts.

Blair's hips pushed back against his fingers, drawing him deeper into the tantalizing heat of his lover's body. Duncan held the beautiful, writhing body close against him, his right arm wrapped around his lover's chest as his left hand moved slowly inside him. Blair was panting now, his breath coming in short gasps, his body moving helplessly against the slow strokes of Duncan's fingers inside him.

"Are you ready, sweetheart? I don't want to hurt you," Duncan whispered tenderly in his ear, drawing Blair back from the haze of intense, liquid pleasure.

"Ah, yeah... Duncan. Now," Blair moaned helplessly, as Duncan's fingers scraped lightly over his prostate, taking his breath away with the powerful sensations. "Oh, God, now!" He cried out, feeling himself getting closer and closer to the point where he wouldn't be able to hold back his climax.

"Easy, hold still for me, love..." Duncan murmured soothingly, and then he was inside him, his big cock opening him up and sinking deep inside. Blair whimpered, flattening himself against Duncan's chest. Strong arms went around him, holding him tightly. Blair panted softly, squirming on the hard cock that had buried itself completely inside his body.

"Are you okay?" Duncan whispered tenderly, one hand moving to close over his cock, petting and soothing him with his hand.

"Yeah... Ooh, that's better." Blair moved tentatively in his arms, pushing back against his cock. "I always forget how enormous you feel..."

"Shh, relax, it's okay. Just let yourself go, I've got you. I love you, I love you so much, Blair." Duncan crooned softly, his lips against the side of Blair's throat. His lover moaned softly in answer, rotating his hips slowly, grinding against him in a way that stroked Duncan slowly inside him.

When he couldn't stand to hold still any longer, Duncan closed his teeth over the back of his lover's neck, drawing slowly, almost all the way out of his exquisite heat before pushing just as slowly back in. They groaned in unison, Blair's body relaxing completely into the drawn out thrust.

Duncan kept the thrusts slow and deep, savoring each exquisite plunge into his lover's body. The pleasure was so great that he didn't want to come, he didn't ever want to stop this perfect dance they were executing under the covers, Blair's hips rising and falling under his hand.

They were moving as one, perfectly in tune with each other. Blair heard Duncan's moans become louder, more desperate, and felt it in his groin, the deep, sweet moans pulled his orgasm from him. He felt it in every muscle, every nerve of his body, as he came over Duncan's hand. He lost control and cried out, sobbing Duncan's name.

The emotion of Blair's orgasm fell over him and Duncan exploded inside his lover, his face buried in Blair's thick curls. He shuddered, the sharp bucking of his hips finally slowing until he collapsed over the smaller man, drawing Blair back against him and into his arms.

Blair's hand found Duncan's, wrapped tightly around his waist, and interlaced their fingers. Slowly, their breathing returned to normal and Duncan's cock softened and slipped from his body. Blair raised the hand he held to cover it with kisses, murmuring quietly, "I'm so glad you came back. I was so scared tonight. I don't ever want to be without you, Duncan. I was so scared..."

"Shh, I know. But you didn't have to be, it wasn't even a challenge worth taking. I wasn't in danger."

"How can you say that?" Blair turned over to look at him, smiling when Duncan's arm went around him again, pulling him against chest.

"Because I don't want you to worry, and because it's true."

Blair shook his head at his lover's confidence, burrowing into his muscular chest. "I love you."

Duncan kissed the top of his head, hugging him tightly before releasing him to pull up the blankets.

"Sleep, Caro. We have a couple more hours before it's tomorrow."

Blair smiled, cuddling Duncan's big body closer. " 'Kay, I love Christmas break, I can sleep in on a Tuesday..."

Duncan smiled, leaning in for one more kiss. "Don't worry, I won't wake you. Sleep well, Caro."

"Love you." Blair mumbled, already half asleep.

Duncan settled Blair more comfortably in his arms, and fell asleep smiling.

Jim was awake and ready to go when Duncan knocked, just a few minutes later than usual. He opened the door, offering Duncan a quiet "good morning," just in case he was hung over, in spite of what he'd said last night.

Duncan smiled in greeting. "Morning, Jim. Looks really nice out there."

"Yeah, most of the fog has burned off already." Jim locked the door behind him, following Duncan down the hall. "You're really not hung over this morning, Mac?"

Duncan grinned at him over his shoulder, jogging down the three flights of stairs to the street. "Nope, not at all. Sorry, you don't get to gloat."

Jim laughed, shaking his head in amazement. Everything Blair had told him last night was just starting to sink in. He hoped that Duncan would stay in this good mood, and that after their run he'd be willing to talk about it, and answer more questions.

Blair was startled awake by footsteps, and an unfamiliar voice in the loft.

"Heineken? Since when does he drink Heineken?"

Sitting up in bed, eyes wide open, he saw a stranger in a long black coat standing at the refrigerator, holding the door open. Diving for Duncan's sword next to the bed, he got it out of it's scabbard and rolled to his feet, dragging the sheet with him.

"Who the hell are you! What are you doing in my house?" Blair demanded, not moving away from the bed. He held the sword out in front of him, trying to be as intimidating as possible.

"Oh this is too much," Methos turned slowly to take in the naked, mortal boy standing next to Duncan's bed, his feet braced defensively, holding the katana with both hands. "I see things have changed." He drawled, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Get out of my house!" Blair had no idea what to do, he didn't even know if the stranger standing in his kitchen laughing at him was actually Immortal or not.

"Your house?"

"Yes, my house. You'd better get the hell out of here, man, or I'll take your head!"

Methos stood looking at what was obviously Duncan's new boyfriend, and threw back his head, and laughed until tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.

"Will you? Well, that's an interesting possibility."

The stranger leered at him, turning back to the refrigerator with a smirk. Blair suddenly realized that he was stark naked and pulled the sheet up around himself, transferring the sword to one hand while he did so.

"I assume you are MacLeod's latest interest?"

Blair stared back at him, so furious he couldn't speak, while the condescending man reached into the refrigerator and pulled out one of his beers, flipping the cap nonchalantly over his shoulder and behind the fridge as he did so.

Just then, the door crashed open, and Duncan and Jim burst in, prepared to deal with the intruder. Duncan stopped short, causing Jim to run into him.

"Adam!"

Part 25

By Zen&nancy

"Hello, MacLeod." Methos let his gaze rake slowly over the Scot standing in the middle of his living room with his mouth hanging open. Such a nice mouth, too.

"Where have you been?" Duncan asked faintly, unable to take his eyes off Methos, standing in front of his refrigerator, drinking a beer.

"Oh, here and there. Madrid, most recently. I see you've been busy, are you going to introduce us? Or at least tell him it's safe to put your sword down?"

Methos was eyeing the man behind Duncan, who hadn't spoken a word. He was frowning, standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He wasn't Immortal, but something, some memory had sparked in his head the moment the large man had burst into the loft behind Duncan. He had cold, dangerous eyes, and enough attitude for three men his size.

Blair stared at Duncan for another moment, and when he realized that Duncan wasn't going to look at him, he put the sword down. Duncan looked like he had completely forgotten the rest of the world existed; he couldn't take his eyes off the intruder.

When he was sure than Duncan wasn't going to introduce him to the condescending Adam, Blair got angrier and stalked naked into the bathroom. He thought it very unlikely that Duncan or Adam had even noticed.

Methos smiled blandly, coming around the counter. "Well, if you're not going to introduce me to your lover, at least introduce me to your friend. I'm Adam Pierson," He offered Jim his hand, not surprised by the aggressive handshake.

"Jim Ellison." Jim shook the other man's hand, looking pointedly at Duncan for some kind of explanation. He couldn't believe that Duncan was actually smiling at this person, who'd broken into his house and scared the hell out of Blair.

"Jim lives downstairs. He and Blair worked together in Cascade."

"Hmm, I see. That would make Blair the naked boy in your bed?" Methos let a slow, satisfied smile spread across his face, watching Duncan turn a very appealing shade of crimson.

Anger flashed in Jim's eyes, and he opened his mouth to tell this jerk where to stick it, and then shut it just as quickly. This was Duncan's house, and it was his right to defend Blair, at least in this situation.

"Yes. Are you staying for Christmas?" Duncan hoped he didn't sound too anxious. It was always like this, when Methos came back.

Jim looked at Duncan incredulously, he couldn't believe that he was going to let this guy ridicule Blair like that and get away with it.

"Well, I was planning on it. It seems a bit crowded here, though. I suppose I could claim Joe's couch before anyone else does. Tell me, is Amanda here yet?"

Duncan went to the kitchen, walking past Methos to the coffee maker. "No, not yet. Joe says she'll be here two days before Christmas."

Methos smiled wickedly. "Well, that's going to be entertaining. I want a front row seat for that confrontation."

Duncan laughed self consciously, feeling himself blush. "Oh come on, Adam. She's not going to be any more put out than she usually is when she comes back from God knows where and finds I'm involved with someone."

"If you say so, Mac. You've certainly shocked me," Methos grinned at him salaciously, wandering over to sprawl across the couch.

Duncan laughed, pouring water into the coffee maker. "You are not shockable, old man."

Jim watched the stranger flirt with Duncan, getting more pissed off by the minute. What the hell was wrong with Mac? He wanted to ask Duncan why the hell he was letting this condescending prick sit in his living room and insult Blair. Instead, he ground his teeth, listening to the sounds of Blair getting into the shower. Realizing that his Guide was muttering under his breath, he turned up his hearing a little, focusing on the angry whisper. Laughing at me in *my* house, drinking *my* Goddamn beer at eight in the morning! Who does he think he is, Caesar? This is the guy you've tied yourself in knots over? I don't get it, Duncan. I really don't get it. Seems like an egotistical jerk to me.

Me too, Chief, Jim thought, and had to repress a chuckle. At least Blair hadn't let this Adam guy intimidate him. Jim wondered if all Immortals had as much attitude as this one did. He was sprawled on Duncan's couch as if he owned the place. How old was he? He certainly didn't look any older than Blair, but Duncan said that they didn't age, so it was impossible to tell.

If it weren't for the condescending air, Adam wouldn't look much older than a teenager. Duncan had said that he was many times older than he was, though. Jim tried to wrap his mind around the idea that the sloppily dressed man drinking a beer on Duncan's couch at eight in the morning could be a thousand years old, and failed. Deciding that he needed to get a better take on Duncan's old friend, Jim walked over to the couch and sat directly opposite Adam in the chair, leaning towards him with his hands on his knees.

"So, what do you do?" Coming from anyone else, it would have sounded like a friendly conversation opener. Coming from Jim, it was a challenge, and a comment on his first impression of Adam Pierson.

Methos cocked his head to the side, taking his time sizing up Duncan's running partner. "Anything I like, usually."

"Adam likes to travel. So how was Madrid?" Duncan called from the kitchen, trying to head the inevitable confrontation off at the pass. It was obvious that Jim had taken an instant dislike to Methos, and from the way the old man was egging him on, it looked as if the feeling was mutual.

"So, you don't actually have a job or anything?" Jim clarified, thinking less and less of Adam by the minute.

"I like to consider disrupting MacLeod's life an occupation all by itself, but no, not one I get paid for, not currently. And what do you do for a living? Teach social etiquette, perhaps?"

"No, I'm a cop." Jim's chest puffed out to full intimidation height. If this guy wanted to start something, he was more than willing to accommodate him.

"Really? Well that's a surprise."

Duncan watched the little cat grin spread across the old man's features and realized Methos was having just a little too much fun. "Coffee, Jim?"

"Yeah, sure." Jim got up, coming to take a cup from Duncan with raised eyebrows. He tried to ask Duncan what the hell was wrong with him with his eyes, but Duncan wasn't nearly as good at interpreting his looks as Blair was, and he wasn't sure that Mac got it.

The water shut off in the bathroom, and Jim tuned in to his Guide, who was dragging a brush through his hair. Okay, Blair, let's go make nice with Mr. Snotty. Maybe if we're really lucky, Duncan will actually remember we exist.

Jim lost it. As soon as the words "Mr. Snotty" came out of Blair's mouth, he laughed out loud. Duncan had taken his coffee to the living room. He looked up at Jim, a quizzical look on his face, but he was talking to Adam.

"So Joe's doing the usual Christmas bash. Have you talked to him yet?"

"No, I just got in. Quite an interesting welcome it was, too." Methos crinkled his eyes at Duncan, letting Duncan's embarrassment soothe his annoyance. Picking Mac's lock and finding a piece of fluff in his bed was always an unwanted risk, but finding a very pretty boy with Mac's sword in his hand had been a slap in the face.

Blair came out of the bathroom in jeans and a t-shirt, throwing Jim a warning look across the room. His Sentinel swallowed his laughter, sending him a look back that told him he agreed with him completely. Well, at least he had Jim on his side. Of course, Jim was always on his side, that was one thing he could count on.

Going to the coat rack, Blair picked up his shoes from the floor. Walking past Jim on his way to the living room he managed to thank him and warn him to be nice without saying a word. Jim grinned back at him, shaking his head, but his eyes said he would behave if he had to.

Blair walked around the back of the couch, sitting down in the chair next to Adam to put his shoes on. He and Duncan were talking about the Christmas party, and he waited until Duncan had finished before he spoke. "Hi, I'm Duncan's boyfriend, Blair, and I actually do live here. I'm really sorry I freaked out on you, man, but I didn't know whether or not you were a friend. I'm not used to people wandering in without warning."

Duncan laughed, "Adam's like that. I guess I'm used to it."

Blair felt jealousy raise its ugly little head, and pushed it down again. "Well, I'm glad you're here, Adam. Duncan's been worrying about whether or not you'd make it."

"Has he? Well, I couldn't disappoint him, not on his birthday. Besides, old friends are getting fewer and farther between."

"Adam..." Duncan didn't know what to say, especially in front of Blair and Jim.

There was a tense second when no one spoke, and then Blair took the opportunity to ask Adam directly, "So, how old are you, exactly?"

Anger flashed in the old man's eyes, but he turned to ask Duncan mildly, "You told him?" His eyes said what did you tell him?

"It was inevitable. I decided Blair would be safer if he knew than if I kept it from him."

"That's quite a change in philosophy. When did this come about?"

"Adam, it's my business," Duncan answered quietly, not wanting to fight about it. He knew how Methos felt about telling mortals, and on the whole he agreed with him. However, hiding it from Blair could only put him in danger, and he wouldn't do that, and he wouldn't give him up. Not this time.

"Of course it is, I guess I just didn't realize that I was part of your business."

"All he's told me is that you're a lot older than he is, okay? You can relax, man, I'm not about to go alert the media. I actually have a really good track record when it comes to keeping important secrets."

"Let me guess, you're a Russian spy."

"He's an anthropologist, actually," Jim told him, coming around the counter with barely disguised aggression. If Duncan didn't start sticking up for Blair soon, he was going to tell this asshole where to stick it, Duncan's home or not.

"Blair teaches at the University, he's just received his doctorate."

"Congratulations. What was the subject of your dissertation?" Methos turned back to Blair, trying to curb his acidic tongue.

Blair sent a quick look of question to Jim, who shrugged his shoulders expressively.

"Sentinels."

Adam raised his eyebrows at him, "How did you get interested in such an arcane subject?"

"You know about Sentinels?" Blair leaned towards him, excitement sparking in his bright blue eyes.

Methos tried not to smile, and thought about what he should tell Duncan's lover. He let his eyes wander to Jim, leaning on the counter top with his arms crossed over his massive chest. So, the cop was a Sentinel. That made a little more sense.

"Yes, I do, a bit. Well, Joe'll be opening for lunch soon, I think I'll go see him. It's good to see you, Mac. Do I get to take you out for lunch for your birthday?"

"I'd love to. Sunday afternoon?" Duncan got to his feet, walking his friend back to the lift.

"Sunday it is. I'm sure I'll see you before then, though."

"Of course you will. Come back for dinner tonight?" Duncan smiled, completely oblivious to the death look Jim sent him.

Methos was a little more aware of Jim's unfriendliness. He hadn't even thought about a Sentinel in four hundred years. They made him nervous. Well, at least this one did.

"Actually, that's probably not the best idea. I'm sure Joe will want me to be at the bar, and I think you may have other plans. I'll talk to you tomorrow, how's that?"

Duncan shrugged agreeably, "All right, tomorrow, then. It's good to see you, I'm really glad you came back."

Methos looked at him speculatively, as if he wasn't sure that this was really true, and then he smiled, unreadable eyes crinkling as he stepped into the elevator. "It's good to be here. I've missed it."

Duncan turned from the gate to find Jim standing next to the desk with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you Mac?"

"Excuse me?" Duncan asked him, coming to stand in front of the larger man. He'd had just about enough of Jim Ellison's macho routine.

"I asked you what's wrong with you? If you want to let your friend walk all over you, that's your business, but letting him treat Sandburg like shit in his own goddamn house is a hell of a lot less than I expected from you."

"What the in the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that the guy breaks into your house, scares the living shit out of Blair, then stands there and insults him, and you didn't say one word, you just let him." Jim felt his anger trying to get out of control, and clenched his jaw, pushing it down. He was determined to have this conversation with Duncan, and he couldn't do that if he was too angry.

"Blair, do you think Adam insulted you?" Duncan demanded, glaring at Jim.

Blair shook his head at his lover incredulously. Duncan hadn't looked at him since he'd walked out of the bathroom, not once. He hadn't even introduced him.

"No, Duncan, Adam didn't insult me, you did." With that, he launched himself out of the chair and across the loft to the door. "I'll be downstairs, hangin' out with Spence. I think I wanna miss this one."

"Nice going, Mac. Now he really feels like shit." Jim couldn't believe he was seeing this behavior from Duncan. Duncan had always been just as protective of Blair as he was. Was it because the jerk was Immortal, that his sense of reason went right out the window? Why hadn't Duncan told Adam to treat Blair respectfully or get the hell out of his house?

"My fault? You're the one starting an argument over nothing," Duncan told him, thoroughly annoyed. He stalked past Jim to the couch, dropping down in the corner.

Jim followed him, not letting up for a second. "This is not nothing, MacLeod. You heard Blair, you insulted him. He stormed out of here because you hurt his feelings. What are you going to do about it?"

"That's none of your damn business! My relationship with Blair is not open for discussion." Duncan was trying not to lose his temper, but Jim was crossing the line.

"Blair is my business. Period." Jim wasn't about to let this go. He wouldn't let Duncan treat Blair this way, he just couldn't stand by and watch Duncan hurt him.

Duncan jumped to his feet. "You're crossing the line, Ellison! You wouldn't even be here if I hadn't been so understanding about the Sentinel crap!" Duncan had lost control and wasn't holding back.

Jim reeled back, as if Duncan had hit him. "That's low and you know it!" His voice was deep and threatening. "I'm just trying to look out for Blair, not stir up all this happy horseshit. I'm not about to sit on the sidelines and watch him get his heart broken over some skinny, snotty, limey asshole who has no concept of manners or how to treat people! Just 'cause this guy has got you wrapped around his little finger doesn't mean he can ridicule Blair in his own home. I'm not going to let you get away with treating him like he's invisible."

"Wrapped around his little finger? You know nothing about it! You have no right to tell me how to handle my relationships. You're certainly no expert on compassion yourself. I still remember what Blair's face looked like after you paid him that little visit to his apartment a couple of months ago." Jim had no right to lecture him on how to treat Blair.

"You son of a bitch!" Jim lunged for Duncan, knocking two teeth loose before Duncan knew what had hit him.

Duncan's fist connected with Jim's stomach, knocking the wind out him and sending him stumbling back. They stood glowering at each other for a long, tense moment. The air between them was charged with hostility, but neither one made another move.

Jim sat down, he hadn't meant to hit Duncan, and he didn't want to do it again. "Okay, let's try to talk to each other instead of pushing each other's buttons. This isn't about you and me, it's about Blair. Can't you see what you did to him this morning?"

"This is none of your business! You have no right to tell me how to handle my relationship with Blair. I have gone out of my way to stay out of what goes on between the two of you, and I expect you to do the same." Duncan knew that he had handled the situation badly this morning, but it was still none of Jim's business.

"You're telling me that you expect me just stand back and watch you hurt Blair? That that's what you'd do if the tables were turned? I don't think so, Mac. I think you'd be in my face, telling me exactly what I'm telling you now." Jim needed Duncan to calm down and try to see things rationally.

Duncan sat down in the chair and took a deep breath. Jim was right, he would be in Jim's face if the tables were turned. Shit. He'd been so thrown by finding Methos in his home, that he'd lost control of everything else that was going on around him. Looking back he saw Methos as Blair might have, and it wasn't very nice. The old man's smart remarks had always just rolled off his shoulders, he hadn't realized that Blair would take Methos seriously.

"You're right, I would. You don't understand, though, the situation with Adam is complicated..."

"How complicated?"

"That's none of your business, either." Duncan looked up sharply at Jim, who sat across from him with his hands on his knees.

"If it's going to hurt Blair it is."

"It won't."

"Bullshit. It already has. Talk to me, Duncan. What's the story with this guy?"

Duncan sighed, and shook his head. Falling back on the couch, he let his head rest on the back, staring up at the ceiling for a long minute. "He's my friend, and I value his friendship, but over the past few years it's been strained, and there is very little trust left between us."

"Why?" Jim was determined to understand exactly what was going on between Duncan and Adam Pierson.

Duncan sighed, sounding aggravated, and spit it out. "I killed his lover, among other things. That would be the most recent, though." He didn't want to talk about the mistakes he'd made with Methos to Jim; he didn't want to talk about them at all. This might be his last chance to make things right with the old man, and he was already afraid that Methos wasn't going to let him try.

"He's your friend?" Jim had to clarify, sure that somewhere along the line he'd missed a vital piece of information.

"I think so."

Duncan sounded lost, and miserable. Jim felt bad, but he wasn't going to leave this one alone. "So the guy you took out, he was Immortal too?"

"Yes. He was a very gifted man, a poet, who had lost his faith in life and pursued death with a passion that took no regard for mortal lives. He caused the death of a young man who had a very promising future. I took the responsibility for righting that wrong, and took his head. It wasn't something I wanted to do; I felt that I didn't have any choice. Later, I wished I'd chosen differently. That's just my most recent betrayal of our friendship, though, not nearly the worst."

"I see. Do I get to hear the other side of the story, or are we going to condemn you without cross examining the evidence?"

Jim's defense of his character made Duncan smile. He shrugged, trying to find the words to explain what had happened with the horsemen, without revealing the old man's secrets or his age. "I'm not sure there is one, not for the rest of it at least. What I did was wrong. I betrayed our friendship, I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. I trusted someone else when they spoke against him, someone who had a very biased view of the circumstances. I believed what they told me, without trying to hear his side of the story."

"You're not going to tell me the story?"

"No."

"Okay, are you going to tell me why you turn into an airhead every time he looks at you?"

Duncan blushed, but he looked Jim directly in the eye, shrugging his shoulders. "I can't help it. He makes me feel like a teenager. His power intimidates me, and attracts me."

Jim thought about that, trying to understand. He hadn't felt any kind of power from Adam, just a lot of attitude. He didn't see what Duncan could possibly be attracted to, but that, he decided, really wasn't any of his business. "So this is an Immortality thing?"

"Yeah, you could say that, basically."

"Look, Mac, I'm sorry I blew up at you, and I really didn't mean to hit you. Maybe you're right, maybe it isn't any of my business. I'm not trying to tell you how to handle your friend, or your relationship with Blair, but I'm not gonna watch him get hurt."

"I'm not going to do anything to intentionally hurt Blair, Jim, I love him. I feel like a moron for the way I acted this morning. I'll make it up to him, I promise."

Jim nodded, smiling at Duncan for the first time since they'd come into the loft from their run. "That sounds like a plan. Don't worry about it, man, we're all blockheaded about the people we care about sometimes. Just make sure he knows that this guy isn't a threat, he'll get over it. Sandburg has a pretty healthy self-image. Unless you give him reason to, he's not gonna let this guy make him feel inferior."

Blair stomped down the stairs, listening to Duncan and Jim's voices rise in volume behind him. He was very glad he'd decided not to mediate the coming argument. Having Jim jump to his defense the moment Adam was gone was gratifying, but it also made him feel like shit. It was embarrassing, to have Jim lay into Duncan and see the total lack of comprehension in his lover's eyes. Duncan hadn't even looked at him when he asked if Adam had insulted him. That hurt. Adam and his attitude were a big disappointment, but he could deal with that. It was the way his lover had forgotten he existed as soon as Adam appeared that he couldn't handle.

The dojo was dim and empty when he wandered in, the only light coming from the office on the other side of the big glass window. The glass was covered with the snow pictures he and Spencer had made yesterday, and they sparkled from the light behind them. Spence was sitting at the desk, working on the computer. The dojo seemed huge this morning, Blair's footsteps echoed slightly as he crossed the room. Knocking lightly on the open door as he walked past it, he offered Spencer a weak smile.

"Morning. Place feels weird all closed up. No more classes?"

Spencer saved his work and looked up at Blair, shaking his head. "Nope, closed till New Years Day. We realized last year that it was only costing us money keeping the place open the week before Christmas, and all of the classes ended last week. Next six week block starts the second week of January. Nobody has time to work out before the holidays, and this way we can go all out decorating for the party without worrying about keeping the space open for business. I took the ring down this morning, and I'm going to move all the free weights into the locker room. I don't want any of the kids messing around with them during the party. Broken toes aren't a very good Christmas present."

Blair laughed, shaking his head. "Definitely not. Neither are claims on Duncan's insurance. Okay, what else do we have to do to kid proof this place?"

"That's about it. I've already taken all the low hanging sharp objects off the walls. I put the plastic safety guards on all the open outlets, too, so I think we're good. I'm just going over the schedule for next month, and then I'm officially on Christmas break, too."

"Sounds good to me, Spence." Blair flopped down in the chair across from Spencer, glad to be away from the tension upstairs.

"Are Mac and Jim just about ready to hang ornaments?"

"Oh, man, I have no idea. Duncan's not really aware of my existence this morning, and Jim's in a rotten mood. It could take awhile."

Spencer shook his head, getting up to pour Blair a cup of coffee from the pot behind him on the shelf. "Sounds messy, you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know, it's really stupid."

"Fights are always stupid. He really stomped on your feelings, huh?"

Blair accepted the coffee Spencer offered him gratefully, "Totally. Thank you, so much. I haven't even had any coffee yet."

"Well that's enough to ruin your morning right there."

"Definitely a contributing factor. Don't you hate it when people disappoint you?" Blair wasn't sure if he was talking about Adam or Duncan or both.

"Yeah, it's a drag. Usually it's because you're expecting them to act out of character, though. How did he let you down?"

Blair rolled his eyes, not really embarrassed to talk be talking about his relationship with Duncan with Spencer, but still feeling like a teenager. "I don't know, this old friend of his showed up, broke into the loft, actually, and he was just, like, a total jerk to me. Duncan completely let him get away with it, and it's like, what am I supposed to do? It's his friend, you know? I didn't want to start shit with him, but it really annoyed me that Duncan didn't say anything to him. He didn't even introduce me as his boyfriend. He didn't introduce me at all. In fact, he didn't even look at me the whole time the guy was there."

"That sucks, I'm really sorry. Why do you think Mac reacted that way?"

Blair shrugged, gulping more coffee. "I don't know, man. I get the feeling he's got a serious history with this guy. I think it's pretty complicated."

"So maybe when he showed up out of the blue it just totally threw Mac for a loop, and he didn't know how to deal?"

"Yeah, I guess. It doesn't bother me so much that he didn't stick up for me, it's that he totally ignored me. I mean, I'm his mate, right? He couldn't even introduce me."

"Did you give him a chance to?" Spencer knew that misunderstandings like this were usually all about lack of communication.

Blair thought about it for a minute. "I think so. Maybe not. I was already pretty upset by that time."

"Did you at least let him know that he pissed you off?" Spencer turned around to pour himself a second cup of coffee.

Blair laughed, shaking his still damp hair. "Nah, Jim beat me to it. He's like that. Right now he's upstairs arguing with Duncan about the whole thing. Poor Duncan."

"That's not good. I mean, I know he's your best friend and he's gonna stick up for you, but you should talk to Mac yourself, you know? He won't take it as well from Jim."

"Oh man, understatement of the century. You're really good at this conflict thing. Were you a psych major or something?" Blair knew that Spencer had gone to college for two years at the University before dropping out and going to work for Duncan.

Spencer laughed, leaning back in his chair. "No, dude, my girlfriend's a social worker. Same thing."

Blair smiled, realizing that he felt a lot better. "You should be one. Thanks, Spence, I think I feel better about the whole thing."

Spencer shut down the computer, grinning at Blair when he leaned back in his chair again, his hands behind his head. "Well, I am now officially on vacation, so if you'd like to feel a lot better, we could step out to my office behind the dumpster and smoke this Christmas joint I've got in my pocket." Unbuttoning the breast pocket on his army jacket, he pulled out a cigarette sized joint rolled with a red and green stripped rolling paper.

Blair wiggled his eyebrows at Spencer, contemplating the festive offering. "Well, they should be at it up there for at least an hour. Oh man, I don't know. I haven't gotten high in like, five years. Living with a cop kinda puts a damper on partying. Sounds really good. What the hell. I'm gonna get totally stupid on you, though."

Spencer laughed, getting up from the desk and turning off the lamp. "That's cool, dude. I think you need to de-stress this morning. Let's go out back."

Blair laughed, following him out of the office to the dojo's back door. "Wake and Bake. I haven't done that since college."

"You're on vacation, dude, you're allowed." Spencer held the door open for him, grabbing a piece of wood up against the building to prop it open. Looking carefully up and down the alley, Spencer wandered over to the dumpster. Blair followed him, leaning against the brick wall.

"Man, I feel like I'm in high school, ditching class."

Spencer laughed, nodding his head, "Oh yeah, I did a whole lot of that." He lit the joint, turning his head into his jacket to shield it from the wind.

"Not me, man, I was a total geek. I didn't smoke pot till the summer before college. And then it was on an Indian reservation with my mom."

"No way, dude, you're mom's Indian?"

Blair choked on his hit, passing the joint back before he dropped it. He laughed, shaking his head until he could talk again. "No, my mom's not Indian, we were just hanging out with some friends in New Mexico."

Spencer took a big hit off the joint, passing it back to him. "Oh, okay, I get it. What time is it? I gotta meet Colleen at the mall at ten."

Blair checked his watch, sucking gingerly on the joint. "It's only nine fifteen, you're cool. You're getting stoned before the mall? Isn't that dangerous?"

Spencer laughed, "Nah, it's better that way. She's just gonna drag me through the place anyway. If I'm really lucky, there's a Cin-a-Bon and an Orange Julius in my future."

Blair shook his head in sympathy, trying to talk while holding his hit. "I'm so glad we already got the mall over with." He exhaled noisily, managing not to cough this time. "Actually, we had a really good time. Jim and Duncan were both in good moods. Too bad it couldn't last."

"Hang in there, dude. It'll get better. It has to, it's Christmas."

Blair giggled, taking the joint back carefully, "I think I already worked that angle, man. I might actually have to get them to deal this time."

"Oh, you can do that, Blair, I have total faith in you. Neither of them can say no to you, that much is obvious."

Blair smiled, not really surprised. "Really? That's cool. Just don' tell Jim that."

Spencer laughed, taking the last hit and stubbing out the roach on the side of the building. "No, that wouldn't be a good move. He's a really good guy, though."

"Yeah, he is. Brrr," Blair rubbed his bare arms, waiting for Spencer to pocket the end of the joint. "It's freezing out here."

Going back into the dojo, Blair had to wait for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. "Let's turn the Christmas lights on."

"Sure, no problem." Spencer went to the outlet on the office wall, plugging in the extension cord. "There you go. I'm gonna have to cut out on you now, though. If I keep Colleen waiting I'm gonna miss out on my orange smoothy."

"That's cool. Are you gonna come back later?" Blair flopped down on the floor, realizing that he was a lot more stoned than he'd thought he was.

"Probably. Depends on how bad Colleen wears me out at the mall. I'll give you guys a call on the office phone when we get back, but don't wait for me if you're ready to start."

"Okay, sounds good. Thanks, Spence, for everything. I feel a whole lot better."

"Oh, no problem, dude, don't even worry about it. Hey, I almost forgot, one of these is for you." Spencer came back to Blair, who was lying in the middle of floor. Pulling an even bigger joint out of his pocket, also rolled in the Christmas papers, he handed it to Blair. "I didn't think I'd have a chance to smoke one with you, but I was gonna give you this for Christmas."

"Hey, thanks! That's really nice of you, Spence."

"Merry Christmas, Blair."

"Merry Christmas." Blair grinned up at Spencer, who looked like a giant from flat on his back on the floor.

"Take care, dude. I'll see you later." Spencer headed for the door, his back pack slung over his shoulder.

"See ya later." Blair answered, listening to Spencer's footsteps down the hall.

Resting the back of his head on his arm, Blair watched the Christmas lights. He followed the path of the blinking lights through the pattern of stars on the ceiling. He hoped that Jim and Duncan weren't yelling at each other upstairs, but at this point, he decided he didn't care. Well, he did care, but he needed a break from playing mediator between the two of them.

"Oh man..." Blair breathed, feeling himself relax completely for the first time in days. "Amazing." He grinned to himself, feeling silly and not caring at all. He was a little bit worried that Jim and Duncan would be angry with him, neither of them were very tolerant on the subject of pot smoking. "Who cares, I'm an adult. I can get stoned at nine in the morning on Christmas vacation if I want to." Blair told himself, deciding that maybe he'd just spend the rest of the morning watching the lights, and let Jim and Duncan find him when they were ready.

"We should go downstairs, see if maybe we can talk him into going out to breakfast, what do you think?" Jim got up from the couch, clapping Duncan on the shoulder.

"Yeah, let's go find him. Think he's avoiding me?"

Jim chuckled, cocking his head to listen. "Maybe. But if he is, he's doing it in the dojo."

"Oh, right." Duncan smiled, shaking his head. "That's got to be incredibly useful."

"It is." Jim held the gate open, waiting for Duncan to follow him into the elevator.

Halfway down to the first floor, Jim sniffed suspiciously. "God damn it! I told Spencer if I ever caught him smoking in the building I'd kick his butt."

"What are you talking about?"

"I smell pot, MacLeod."

The elevator bounced to a stop and Duncan pulled the gate up. Both of them stopped short when they stepped out of the lift, staring at Blair on his back in the middle of the floor.

"Hi guys."

"Sandburg!"

"What Jim?"

"You're stoned!"

"Yeah Jim, whatever. Hi Duncan, are we cool?"

Duncan came to squat next to his lover, an uncertain smile on his face. "Yeah, I hope so. Can I take you out to breakfast?"

"Mmm, pancakes. Okay, I'll deal with you and the real world for pancakes. I want my sunglasses though, definitely. It's way too bright out there."

"Blair!" Jim was starting to get angry. What the hell was wrong with his Guide? Sure, Duncan had been a jerk, and he was willing to admit Blair had a lousy morning, but Blair deciding that getting stoned was the answer to his problems was totally out of character.

"Aw, come on, Jim. Just be mellow, okay? I am so not up to dealing with a fight right now."

"That's probably because you're stoned out of your mind, Chief."

"Quit it, you're being The Man."

"I am not. I'm being reasonable. You expect me to be happy about the fact that you couldn't deal with what happened upstairs, so you got stoned? And where the hell is Spencer? I told him that if I ever caught him smoking in here I'd kick his butt."

"He left. And just for the record, Dad, we smoked the joint outside, in the alley. So lay off." Blair made puppy eyes at Jim, who was standing over him with his fists on his hips, looking for all the world like the over-protective father he'd never had. "Please, Jim? It's not that big a deal, man. So I smoked a joint with Spence, what do you wanna do here, ground me?"

Jim made a conscious effort to control his rising blood pressure, and sighed, shaking his head at his Guide. "Fine. You wanna put that stuff in your body, that's your problem. I always thought you were Mr. Pure, I-get-high-all-on-my-own."

"I am, most of the time. Come on, man, relax. I didn't lie to you, I haven't smoked a joint in five years, or more. I came down here and Spence offered and I said what the hell, this day is already fucked, why not?"

Jim frowned, not really happy about it. He knew he didn't have any right to tell Blair what to do. Blair was an adult, and he wasn't a cop anymore. That's what the problem really was, not that Blair had gotten high. He was glad that Blair hadn't said it, his Guide was sensitive to the fact that he was missing his badge like he'd miss his right arm. "Okay, fine. Look, Chief, I think I'm just gonna go upstairs and relax for awhile. Why don't you and Duncan come and get me when you get back from breakfast and we can work on getting the ornaments unpacked."

"Okay, man, whatever. See ya later." Blair knew Jim needed some time to himself, and since he and Duncan looked like they'd settled their argument on their own, he was happy to leave it that way. He could get the details out of them later. Right now it was probably better not to try and deal with it.

"Come on, Caro, let's go out to breakfast and you can tell me all about what I jerk I was."

"Duncan, you were a jerk."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to be. Can we talk about it?"

Blair sighed, offering a hand for Duncan to pull him up. "Yeah, sure."

"Hello... Anybody home?" Methos closed the door to Joe's tavern behind him, turning to find Joe behind the bar.

"Adam! It's great to see you. Want a beer?" Joe was drawing a pint from the tap, and slid it towards him as he came up to the bar.

"That's a much nicer welcome than I got over at the loft. Thank you, Joe." Taking the pint of Amber Ale, Methos drained half the glass, turning to look around the empty bar as he did so.

"Oh, you went to see Mac?"

"Yes, I did. Why didn't you warn me? Some Watcher you are."

"Hey, how could I warn you? I didn't even know you were coming in. You don't write, you don't call..." Joe laughed, shaking his head at his friend. Adam appeared and disappeared as often as he pleased, and he never gave anyone any warning.

"I've been busy. I think I may have to stick around for a while this time though, it's all just a bit too entertaining."

"What, Mac madly in love with a hippie anthropologist?" Joe grinned at Methos across the bar, hoping to goad a reaction out of the old man.

"The whole Sentinel/Guide/Immortal love triangle going on there is just a little out of character for MacLeod, to say the least. What do you think about it, Joe?"

Joe raised an eyebrow at Methos. "What are talking about? Love triangle? Isn't that what Blair did his dissertation on, Sentinels? Some kinda genetic throwback thing, sensory perception?"

Methos set his empty glass down on the bar, and burst into laughter. "I take it you are not aware of the fact that Blair's champion is the Sentinel? I'm assuming he's the Guide, they usually come in pairs."

"Are you gonna explain this one, old man, or are you just gonna act smug? What's Mac mixed up in?"

"You really don't know?" Methos looked at Joe, perplexed.

"Look, I haven't seen that much of him lately, he's in love. He's like that when he's found somebody important. He told him, you know, he told him everything. The three of them were in here last week, Mac seemed happy. Delirious, actually, but I'm not gonna give him a hard time, he deserves a little happiness." So do you, was what Joe thought, but didn't say. Methos still looked as tired and unhappy with himself as he had the last time he'd seen him, the night Mac had taken Byron's head.

"I agree, wholeheartedly. Duncan deserves to be happy." Methos offered Joe his empty glass, and nodded his thanks when it was returned to him full.

"So what's the problem?"

"No problem. I'm just a little surprised, that's all."

"You're going to tell me that you, the five thousand year old man, are homophobic?"

"No, certainly not. I'm just surprised to find Duncan between a Sentinel and his Guide, that's all. It's a sticky place to be, at best. I hope he doesn't get hurt."

"Okay, you're going to drink your beer, and then you're going to explain this Sentinel/Guide thing to me, slowly, from the beginning."

"The beginning is a long time ago, Joe." Methos spoke softly, memories drifting across his hazel eyes.

"You know about this from experience?"

"Yeah, I Guided a Sentinel, back when they were necessary. What's this one doing in Seacouver? They usually end up in mental hospitals these days," Methos mused, nursing his beer.

Joe's impatience got the best of him. "Methos, spill!"

"Well, it's very simple, really, Joe. Jim, that's his name, Jim? Well, he is a Sentinel, and Blair, Duncan's new love interest, is his Guide. How Duncan came to have them living in his building with him, I have no idea. The Sentinel/Guide relationship is usually a lifetime pairing, for the Sentinel at any rate. They don't tend to survive very long without their shadow."

"Okay, so you're telling me that Jim Ellison, Blair's cop friend, has these super senses?"

"Yes."

"And Blair is his Guide?"

"Yes."

"What the hell does that mean?" Joe demanded, about to tell the old man that he was on his last nerve.

"It's not easy to explain."

"Try."

"They need to be grounded, they need a physical point of reference, and the Guide becomes something like a conductor for the Sentinel's power. It's a very intimate relationship. I don't understand what Duncan's doing in the middle of it. Or how that little boy can be a Guide, for that matter. He doesn't look like he could Guide a dog on a leash."

"Blair's a bright kid, Adam. Do I sense some kind of jealousy here?"

"You sense an undying thirst. Give me another."

"That's what I like about you, old man, I can always count on you for an evasive answer."

"No problem, Joe, my pleasure."

"So, wait a minute. You're telling me that you think that Mac, and Blair, and Jim, are all..."

"Sleeping together. Yes, that would be the natural assumption, unless they're completely crazy..."

"So you have a problem with what? The fact that Mac has a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend, or this Sentinel shit?"

"Neither. Why are you convinced I have a problem?"

"Oh no, your feathers are definitely ruffled, old man. Don't try and lie to me. Which is it?"

"Both."

"I see. Why?" Joe came around the bar to join his friend on one of the empty stools.

"That's more than I'm willing to share, Joe, as much as I treasure these little heart to hearts of ours."

Joe threw back his head and laughed, a conspiratory glint in his eyes. "All right, I'm not going to make you spit it out, Adam. I think you're going to have to wait a while anyway. He's pretty wrapped up in this guy."

"I know, that's what I'm worried about. I just don't want to see him get his heart trampled. If Blair is his lover, then he's already playing second fiddle, no matter how they've worked it out. I can't imagine a Guide choosing anything or anyone over their charge, unless he's not really a Guide at all..."

"I'm not following you, Adam."

"Joe, I'd like to get a copy of Blair's dissertation, do you think you could do that for me?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's public domain. I'll look it up this afternoon, I gotta go to the library anyway. It's probably on microfiche, do you want me to get you a hard copy?"

"That would be very helpful. I'd like to know exactly how Duncan's boyfriend learned about Sentinels in the first place. It's never been common knowledge, not in any time."

"Well, if you know so much, why don't you tell him about it, maybe you can help him out."

Methos laughed, shaking his head. "Oh no, I'm not getting involved. Not in this. I will look out for our swooning Scot, though. If Blair is using him, I won't allow it."

"Using him? How do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain that to you, Joe. Just trust me on this one."

"I trust you Adam."

Methos allowed a real reaction to sneak through his defenses. "Really? Still?"

"You have to ask? I've always trusted you, old man. You've never given me any reason not to."

"I guess I haven't. Do you mind if I sleep on your couch? I don't think Duncan wants me on his tonight."

"That's fine. You can help me set this place up for the party."

"Sounds good, Joe. I'm glad I came home for the holidays."

"So am I, Adam, we missed you. Mac's been worried sick about you, actually. You two really should talk..."

"I know. Maybe. I was a bit of an ass back there, it may take him a few days to warm up to me." He offered Joe a half hearted smile.

Joe laughed, shaking his head. "You, a smart ass? That's hard to believe."

Part 26

By Zen&nancy

Duncan and Blair sat in a booth, waiting for their breakfast. Blair still had his sunglasses on and he was chewing ice. They hadn't talked about what had happened this morning, and Duncan was beginning to wonder if Blair was going to just leave it at agreeing that he'd behaved like a jerk. He'd almost forgotten that Blair had smoked a joint with Spencer, until a commercial came on the radio that sent Blair into what could only be called a giggle fit. Duncan still wasn't sure how he felt about this whole pot smoking in the alley situation.

Duncan had never had much use for recreational drugs. He'd taken peyote and smoked herbs in ritual, but that was many, many years ago. He'd seen too many times how drugs could destroy a person, losing Brian had hurt worst of all. It was the first thing he'd thought of when he'd gone downstairs with Jim to find Blair laughing on the floor. His first reaction had been the same as Jim's, anger and disapproval. Now, he thought that maybe he should try to understand what Blair got out of marijuana, and why he didn't seem to think there was any danger in it.

"So, you're pissed at me for smoking too, huh?" Blair talked around his ice, looking Duncan straight in the eye when he spoke, although his lover couldn't tell behind his dark glasses.

"I don't have any right to be angry at you. You're certainly an adult. I'd rather you not... Blair, I don't mean to sound judgmental, and I doubt very seriously that you are the type of person that would let a drug control you. However, I want to tell you how I feel about drugs in general. I don't like them, at all. Almost all the drugs that are used today have been around for a long, long time. I smoked cannabis and ate peyote with the Sioux, and I've tried opium in China, so I'm not completely naive, although it's been more than a hundred years. This is what bothers me," Duncan paused, considering his words carefully. "I've never seen any good come out of habitual drug use, none at all. If there are problems, they get worse, and if there aren't any, drugs create them. They also take you away from the people that love you. I lost someone I loved very deeply because he was so weary of living, so tired of the Game, that he turned to drugs. The result, for an Immortal, is disastrous. You're not Immortal, and I don't think you're going to make a habit of it, so I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I think I would rather if you didn't smoke it around me, or in the loft, if you think that's fair."

Blair shrugged, not sure what to say, or which emotion to address first, his lover's anger, which he was doing a very good job of hiding, or his pain, which he wasn't. "It's fine, man. I won't smoke it at all, if it bothers you. It was a Merry Christmas kinda thing, ya know? I really haven't smoked any in the last five years, it's not like it's a big deal to say I won't do it again. I was really stressed out, and it seemed like a good idea, that's all. Spence is good company."

Duncan sighed, not sure that Blair had really understood what he'd tried to say, or why he felt the way he did. "Okay, well, I guess we really don't have to make any ultimatums here, I'm sorry I can't be more casual about it."

Blair shrugged again, smiling at him across the table. "Sounds good to me. Don't worry about it though, I don't think you're uptight. I mean, you're not sitting there going "Sandburg, I'm gonna kick your butt."

Duncan stiffened, replying quickly in a tight voice. "That's because I'm not Jim."

"I know that." Blair cocked his head at his lover, confused.

"Do you?" Duncan asked quietly, an edge to his voice.

"Well, lemme see, you're the one that can't die or do anything that goes against your moral code, he's got the super senses and the anal attitude." Blair took his glasses off, meeting his lover's level stare across the table. "Yes, I know the difference. You're my lover, he's my best friend. Are you sure you do? You couldn't figure it out to introduce me to Adam this morning. Would a "Hey, Adam, this is my boyfriend, Blair" really have been that hard?"

"Blair... I'm sorry for that. It was inexcusable, extremely rude and a very bad way to start with Adam. I should have introduced you. It just seemed that you'd done that before I got there."

"Come on, Duncan, don't bullshit me, okay? I'm stoned, not stupid. You didn't introduce me because you weren't even marginally aware of my existence. Or anything else, for that matter. The minute you set eyes on him, everything else got thrown out the window. I watched it happen man, I know that look. That's exactly what I looked like every time Jim so much as said my name for the first two years I lived with him. You're bonkers for this guy. Why don't you just tell me about it? I mean, if he's gonna ruin my Christmas, I'd really like some advance warning."

The waitress arrived with their breakfast and it gave Duncan a moment to think. Was he, as Blair put it, "bonkers" for Methos? He'd certainly tied himself up in knots over Methos enough times, the old man's friendship was very precious to him, and there was an attraction there. One thing he knew for certain, whatever it was, it wasn't worth losing Blair over. He loved Blair with a passion and devotion that he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"Blair, I'm sorry. You're right, I lost my head when I saw Adam. It was quite a surprise to find him there, and I guess he caught me off guard. I should never have treated you the way I did, and I promise you, it won't happen again." Duncan reached across the table and took Blair's hand. "I love you Caro, I couldn't stand it if anything or anyone came between us."

Blair looked Duncan in the eyes and saw the truth and the emotion behind Duncan's words. "I love you too, you know that. I just can't help but get the feeling that there's a lot more going on here than just having an old friend you haven't seen in a while drop by. Y'know, after hearing you talk about Adam, I sure expected someone different from the guy that broke into the loft this morning. I don't want to start a fight with you Duncan, but honestly, the guy was a total jerk."

Duncan smiled, and drank some of his coffee before it got cold. "He can be. He's not an easy man to get to know. He's secretive, and very often defensive, to the point of pushing people away. All I can say is that he is older than any of us, older than I can imagine most of the time, and that means he's lost more people, friends, lovers, than anyone has. I think he uses his sharp tongue to keep himself from getting too close to people. Especially other Immortals. I think I may be his only real friend."

Blair listened carefully to what Duncan was saying, doing his best to put his emotions on hold and try to understand. "Okay, so, tell me what you like about him?"

Duncan chewed his eggs slowly, considering. He wasn't sure he knew how to explain what he liked about Methos, it had always felt like more of a bond than a friendship. The events they'd lived through together had shaped and determined their friendship more than common likes or mutual admiration ever had. At first, he'd been in awe of Methos, the man he'd thought a myth. Then, slowly, he'd dropped his Adam Pierson, "just a guy" act and the real Methos had came out. He'd accepted the older man's prickliness, and his sharp, sometimes barbarous tongue, because it had seemed natural, as if it was the only way Methos could be.

"I admire his loyalty, and his ability to survive. He has done both good things and bad in our friendship. He manipulates me when he thinks I won't go along with what he wants, he's a great orchestrator. He also saved my life. He left the deathbed of a woman he loved very deeply to do it, and I'll always be grateful to him for that. I suppose when I first met him I was dazzled by his age, all the history he'd seen, and hoped to gain insight and understanding from him. He's not particularly willing to talk about his past though, and a few years ago I found out he had good reason not to. In the course of events, we shared a quickening, and I think that affected me in ways I'm still not really willing to think about. It was extremely disconcerting."

Blair drank his milk, sighing heavily when he put his glass down. "That sounds like a lot of history, between you two."

Duncan nodded, unwilling to gloss over the truth with Blair. "Yes, it is, but I don't want you to feel any kind of doubt because of it. I'm sure there's a good reason that nothing has ever happened between Adam and me, and in any case, I would never put our love at risk, or hurt you that way. You are the most important thing in the world to me, Blair. I'm sorry if it seemed like I forgot that this morning. I promise you I never will again."

Blair smiled, and reached for Duncan's hand, drawing it across the table to press a kiss to his knuckles. "I think that's a deal."

A brilliant smile spread across Duncan's features, and he pushed his plate away, too happy to eat anymore. "Good."

"I'll try to get over it and get to know him, but if he gets nasty with me again, I expect you to stick up for me. He's your friend, and I don't feel like I can just tell him off, but I'm going to be pissed if you totally ignore it." Blair spoke seriously, his eyes asking his lover for his support eloquently.

"I will, I promise."

"That makes me feel better. You ready to get out of here handsome?"

"Sure, let's go. We have two Christmas trees waiting to be decorated. That's an all day job, and this day's already half over."

Jim paced the floor of his apartment slowly, looking more like his spirit guide than he knew. This morning had been the last straw, and he was seriously considering just packing it in and going home. He missed Cascade, missed Christmas time at the station and the city's decorations and Simon's Christmas Blend coffee. More than anything, he missed being a cop. It was driving him crazy, sitting around here all day. Sure, he spent several hours a day in the dojo, working out and helping Spence run the place, but that still left way too many unoccupied hours. He felt trapped. He had no control over his life here, there was always something going on around him.

He was homesick, Jim told himself, shaking his head in disapproval. It was foolish, missing a city as if it were a person. Cascade was his city though, he'd thought of it that way from the moment Incacha had charged him with the job of protecting it. He missed the peace and quiet of the loft, and the view from the balcony. His life had seemed so ordered, so permanent, his career on track and Blair there to guide him. How had it all fallen apart so fast?

It still felt so wrong, not to put his badge on his belt in the morning, not to carry a gun or have a radio in the truck. He'd always known he was going to be a cop, it was the only thing he could imagine himself doing. He wanted his position on the force back more than anything in the world, and it had been taken far out of his reach. There was no denying that he needed Blair; that he couldn't work, or even function as a human being without him. There was no choice in the matter of his Guide, and as long as Blair wanted to be here, then he was stuck here too.

Jim sighed heavily, his slow pacing around the apartment had brought him to the kitchen. He stared at the phone on the wall for a long minute before muttering to himself, and picking it up to dial the eleven digit number.

"What the hell."

Jim listened to the phone ring, wondering why he was calling and what he would say. He'd never been any good at chatting on the phone, and besides, Simon was at work, and probably too busy to talk to him. He missed his Captain terribly. Aside from Blair, he'd been the best friend Jim had ever had, in spite of the fact that he was also his boss. Maybe he could just call and wish Simon a quick Merry Christmas, hear some news from the station.

"Banks."

"Simon, it's Jim."

"Jim! It's good to hear your voice, it's been almost three weeks since the last time I talked to you, I was starting to worry. How are things going down there?"

"They're good, Sir. How's everything at the station? Any big cases?"

"About a hundred, all of which have your name on them, but we're managing. Megan's taken over most of your case load."

"And my desk?"

Simon chuckled, and on the other end, Jim had to smile ruefully at himself.

"You know, she wouldn't take it. She said it was too big a spot to fill."

"Connor said that?"

"Yes, she did. She also said she hoped you'd change your mind and come back. So do I, Jim. We need you here."

"I wish I could, Simon, I really do."

Simon Banks was surprised by the intensity of emotion in his detective's voice. Jim didn't give his feelings away unless he couldn't help it. "How are things really going there Jim? Are you happy?"

"That's a difficult question, Simon. I'm happier than I was in Cascade without him, but not nearly as happy as I was before a blew it and I lost him."

"Jim, are you sure that's it's really this Sentinel thing that's between you and Sandburg? It's not more than that?"

"More how, Captain?"

"Aw, come on, Jim. You know what I mean. I mean look, Jim, you've given up your whole life for this kid, what has it gotten you?"

"The chance to live, the chance to be a better person. I mean it, Simon, I really can't get by without him. When he left, it felt like my whole life fell apart."

"It did, you turned into a first class asshole." There was humor in Simon's voice, but they both knew it was true.

"I'm really sorry about that, Sir. I want to apologize for my behavior the last few months I was there. I know I did a lot of things that were totally uncalled for, and I appreciate everything you tried to do for me."

"I just wanted to help, Jim, I wanted to get you back. Instead, I lost you. Are you sure there's no way you two can come back? Can't you explain to Sandburg how important this is to you?"

"He already knows that, Sir, but Blair has a right to live his life, too. I'm not going to ask him to give up his career for mine, I can't. Not after the way I treated him. No, Sir, I'm here, for as long as he wants to be. I really don't have any other choice, Simon."

"Well, if that's the way it is, I guess we're all going to have to accept it, but we'll miss you Jim. I will. Have you decided what you're going to do there?"

"I don't know, Simon. I can't even imagine doing anything else."

"I'm sure Seacouver needs cops, too."

"You know what I'd be up against, Captain. There's the temporary suspension, and the fact that I left Cascade before I was supposed to appear before the review board. They'd look pretty hard at what happened before I left. They'd want explanations."

"Well, that's true, but I have a college buddy who's a cop there. Actually, he's the chief of police. I think I could smooth over any investigation. And then there's your string of commendations from the Mayor's office. If we had to, we could probably get a letter of recommendation from the man himself."

Jim choked up, swallowing and wrapping the phone cord tightly in his fist. "You'd do that, Captain?"

"Jim, listen to me. You're the best cop this city's ever had. It's a damn shame that we have to lose you, but if Cascade can't have you, then Seacouver should. I don't think Sandburg wants to see you waste your gift, and I know I don't. I don't know how the hell you're going to swing an observer status for him there, but I'm sure between the two of you, you'll figure it out."

Jim sighed, shaking his head. "I don't think Blair wants to do police work, Simon. Besides, he's teaching full time here, he wouldn't have time to ride along. It's okay, though, if you can get me in the door, I'll learn how to deal with everything on this end."

Simon didn't sound at all convinced. "Jim, that doesn't sound like a good plan. Wasn't it not having your Guide with you that caused all the zone outs in the first place?"

"Well, that was part of it, Sir. It's difficult to explain. We've been working on it, and I think I have full control of my senses back at this point."

"Well, I guess I have to trust you on that one, Jim, but I'd feel a hell of a lot better if I heard it from Sandburg."

"He'll back me up, Sir, I'm a hundred percent."

Simon chuckled at his detectives eagerness, thinking that Jim must be going crazy without his badge and his gun.

"Alright, Ellison, you just take care of yourself down there, and I'll put in a call to Seacouver's chief after the first. His name is Bob Reilly, he's a good man."

"Thank you, Captain," Jim spoke solemnly, wishing he had the words to express how grateful he was for Simon's help. He hadn't even dared to think about being a cop here, not with everything he'd left behind him in Cascade.

"Merry Christmas, Jim."

"Merry Christmas, Captain. Give Daryl a hug for me. And tell Megan to take the desk, it's the same size as all the others."

Simon laughed, thoroughly relieved to hear what sounded like the old Jim coming back. "I'll do that. Keep in touch, Jim. Give me a call Christmas day, if you can."

"Will do Sir, I'll let you get back to work. Thank you, Simon, you're saving my life here." There, he'd said it. Jim felt a broad grin spread over his face, and a great weight lift from his shoulders. If Simon could get him in the door here, everything was going to be okay.

"Good-bye Jim."

"Bye Simon." Jim hung up the phone, feeling like he wanted to jump up and down and shout with joy. He couldn't wait to tell Blair.

Part 27

By Zen&nancy

Jim listened the sound of the T-bird pulling up at the back of the building, glad that Blair and Duncan were home. They'd been gone a long time, and he couldn't wait to tell Blair about what Simon had said. He was singing along with the radio he'd turned on in the kitchen, pulling the first sheet of his batch of Christmas cookies out of the oven.

"It's open." Jim called, just as Blair was about to knock. He and Duncan came in together, and from the way they stood close together, and the relaxed look on his Guide's face, he could tell that they'd come to some sort of an agreement about everything that had happened this morning.

"Hey, Chief, how's it going?" Jim looked up from the decorated sugar cookies he was transferring to a cooling rack with a non stick spatula.

"Pretty good. You're making Christmas cookies? That's awesome! Can I have one?"

Jim laughed at his best friend, who was obviously still a little high. "Of course you can. They're for you. Well, and the party too, but I figured I should try to make up for giving you such a hard time. I'm sorry, Blair. You should be able to do whatever you want, it's not like you don't have common sense."

Blair was stunned. He'd expected Jim to still be stewing over the fact that he'd smoked a joint with Spencer. An apology from Jim was still a novelty.

"So, what's put you in such a good mood, man? You're about to bubble over."

Standing next to him, Duncan smiled. He was glad that Jim seemed willing to put this morning's disagreements behind them. It made him happy, to see Blair comfortable enough to tease him. The dynamic between these two was so close. In spite of the way he and Jim had clashed this morning, the more time he spent around them the more he felt that he'd made the right decision.

"I called Simon. He says that he's friends with the Chief of Police here, and that he thinks he can get me on the force." Jim was beaming, as he placed the next dozen decorated cookies onto a cookie sheet and put them in the oven.

"Really? Even with the suspension?" Blair sounded unconvinced, and Duncan was frowning.

Jim didn't let their negative reactions deter him at all. "Yep, he told me he'd put a call through first thing after New Year's, and that he'd even go as far as getting a letter of recommendation from the Mayor if it was necessary. I think it's gonna work, Chief, I really do."

"I thought we talked about this, Jim. I didn't think you wanted to be a cop anymore." Blair cocked his head at his Sentinel, coming over to sit on a stool in the kitchen where Jim was working at the counter.

"Of course he does, Blair. It's in his nature." Duncan followed his lover into the kitchen, slapping Jim on the back. "Congratulations, I'm happy for you."

"Blair listen to me... I'm not happy here. No, wait, let me talk. Duncan's right. Being a cop, it's what I am. It's what I was for years before this Sentinel thing, and it's the only thing I've ever done that's really made me happy. I don't want to do anything else, even if I can use to the Sentinel thing other ways, I just don't want to. I want my gun and my badge back, Chief, more than anything. I'm goin' out of my mind sitting around all day."

He went back and forth between the counter and the oven as he spoke, moving restlessly from the sheets of cookies waiting to go into the oven to the ones that were baking.

Blair thought about what Jim said. He could see that Jim was getting stir crazy, but this announcement was the last thing Blair had expected to hear. He was a little surprised by Duncan's reaction as well. "But how are you going to handle your senses on your own? Jim, look, I'm not a cop, and I don't want to be one. I still have nightmares about Lash, man. I am just so totally not cut out for the serve and protect thing. I didn't really expect you to react this way, either, Duncan." Blair added mildly, somewhat put off by his lover's reaction.

"I know that, Chief, nobody said you had to be. Look, as long as you're willing to keep working with me at home, we can figure out ways for me to handle it, I know we can, Blair. I have faith in you, and I gotta do this, I really do, for me. If I'm going to live here, I need to start building some kind of a life for myself, and I've thought about it, I really have. Being a cop is the only thing I want to be."

"I think he's right, kiddo, Jim should be a police man. We need all the good cops we can get. I don't have a problem with it. At least I won't until it affects me personally, and that's something we'll just have to hope won't happen."

"What do you mean, Mac?"

"Well, the only problem I have with police is when they start investigating me and get curious. Quickenings are always a bit dangerous that way, too. But none of that has anything to do with you being a cop. Besides, I've got plenty of experience when it comes to eluding police men." Duncan gave Jim a cocky, playful smile, making him shake his head and laugh.

"I'm sure. No, really, thanks Mac. It's really good to know you're behind me on this one."

"Well, honestly, I kind of expected it. Don't take this the wrong way, Jim, but you seem like a cop, no matter what you're doing. It's just who you are. I could see you were pretty miserable without your job, but I know it's a great deal more than just a job to you, and I didn't really think that anything else was going to be able to replace it. I expect you to be a cop. However, Christmas cookies with red and green sprinkles I didn't expect. I'm seeing a whole new side of you here. I have to say, that blue apron is definitely you." Duncan's brown eyes sparkled with mischief, as he reached for one of the hot cookies cooling on the baking rack.

Blair burst into to giggles, laughing so hard he nearly fell off his perch.

"Very funny, MacLeod. You aren't the first one to tease me about this apron, and you won't be the last. You'll notice, however, that none of my clothes have food stains on them. Besides, I learned this years ago. If you want Christmas cookies, make them yourself."

"They're fabulous." Blair agreed, stuffing another hot cookie into his mouth.

"Will you bring some to Joe's? Everyone brings something, even though Joe makes more than enough to feed us."

"Sure. I'll probably have to make a second batch though, the way he's going." Jim smiled at his Guide, who had green sprinkles on his upper lip and had gotten up to ferret the milk out of the refrigerator.

"That'd be nice. Hey, Caro, save some for the party."

"My cookies." Blair argued, holding his handful of decorated sugar cookies defensively close to his chest.

Jim laughed, happy to see Blair back to his old self. He'd been really upset this morning. Whatever Duncan had said over breakfast had obviously been the right thing. "He's right. It's okay, I can always make more. I'll make him help me. Are we going to decorate the trees today?"

"Yeah, that's why we're here, actually. Are you interested in helping with with the tree downstairs?" Duncan asked.

"You bet. Let me get this last sheet in the oven, and I'll meet you guys down there."

"Sounds good. Ready to go, Caro?"

"Yeah, sure." Blair stuffed one more cookie in his mouth and got up to follow Duncan to the door. Halfway there he changed his mind and turned around, going back to Jim in the kitchen. Wrapping his arms around the larger man's waist, he gave him a hard hug, smiling when Jim returned his embrace. "I'm happy for you, Jim. I really am. I'm worried about it, but I'm happy for you man."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine."

"Yeah, and I get to go back to playing cop-wife, pacing the floor every time you go out undercover or on a stakeout or something."

Jim laughed, ruffling his guide's curls affectionately. "I'm gonna be fine, Blair, I promise. Don't worry."

"Yeah, right. Like that's even a possibility man."

Duncan laughed, knowing just how true that was. "I'll try to keep him from pulling his hair out."

Jim let his hand linger on the top of Blair's head for another moment his fingers lost in the thick, unruly mass of rough silk. "Do that."

Blair slumped back against the metal wall of the lift, looking up at Jim on his left, and then Duncan on his right side. "Good job, guys, one down, one to go."

Jim grinned back at Blair, just as full of enthusiasm. "Sounds great Chief, but I gotta stop for a lunch break. Why don't you and Duncan start without me and I'll make myself a sandwich and meet you upstairs."

"No, come up with us. I'll feed you." Duncan clapped Jim on the shoulder, reaching across him to turn the elevator key.

"Thanks Mac, that's nice of you. You know guys, we need to get some candy canes for the tree downstairs."

Blair grinned at him, remembering how Jim had bought and consumed an entire box of them last year before they even made it onto the tree.

"For the kids, at the party." Jim defended himself, looking to Duncan for support.

"Sure, we can get some when we order the cookies and the deli tray. We should do that sometime this week, kiddo."

"Okay, no problem, I'm on it."

Blair walked ahead of them into the loft, going directly to the boxes of ornaments Duncan had dragged up from storage on the fourth floor. Jim's box of ornaments was there too. Opening Jim's first, he began unwrapping the glass globes from their layers of tissue paper. "These are so gorgeous, Jim. Where did you get this one?"

Jim came to stand at his side, looking to see which one Blair held. "In Germany. I was stationed there when I first signed up."

"It's beautiful. Look at the colors. How do they do that?"

"I don't know, Chief, but you're right, it's a nice one."

"What kind of sandwich do you want Jim? Roast beef?" Duncan called from the kitchen, pulling bread and cheese out of the refrigerator.

"That'd be great, Mac. Thanks."

"No problem. Gotta keep your strength up. I want you to help me haul some equipment into the back room downstairs tonight."

"Sure, no problem. Do I get mustard on that?"

"Yep. Do you want one of these kiddo?"

Blair looked up from the pile of ornaments he'd unwrapped. "No thanks, I'm still stuffed from breakfast. I can't believe I ate two omelets."

Jim laughed, ruffling his Guide's curls. "Keep eating like that and we'll put you on a treadmill."

Duncan came over to where Blair and Jim were sitting on the floor, ornaments and lights for the tree strewn around them. "Here you go, Jim. You know, Caro, I could probably help you work off those extra calories..." He grinned, pulling Blair up to his feet for a hug. He let out a short yelp when he got his ass pinched unexpectedly, blushing a little when Jim laughed at him.

"You better be careful, Mac, you might get more than you bargained for." Jim tried not to feel awkward about the topic at hand.

"That's okay, I can handle it." Duncan's eyes twinkled back at him from over Blair's head.

"Oh, you think so, huh handsome?" Blair grinned up at his lover, with a mischievous leer. "Better be nice to me, or you're gonna be walkin' funny, Immortal healing or not."

Jim felt his ears get hot. He looked up at Duncan, in shock, not sure that he really understood what Blair seemed to be implying. Duncan just grinned back at him, and shrugged his shoulders expressively. Blair was completely oblivious to Jim's discomfort. He pressed his body playfully into Duncan's, gratified by the response he could feel through their clothing.

Jim watched his Guide's provocative flirting with a firm grip on both his temper and his self control. He was surprised when he realized that watching Blair touch Duncan didn't make him angry, not at all. At first, he'd get embarrassed, but Blair was so affectionate with both of them that it had quickly become impractical. Blair had managed to shock the hell out of him though. He'd always just assumed... Jim couldn't even finish the thought in his own head, much less ask Blair about it, but it sparked a curiosity that was going to worry him like a sore tooth.

"Are we ready to hang ornaments?" Duncan asked, looking at the piles of tissue paper all around them over Blair's shoulder.

"If you two are done playing grab ass." Jim told him, laughing at them good naturally.

Blair let go of his lover with a final squeeze to the parts in question, his attention returning to the tree and it's decorations. "Okay, lights first, then ornaments, then garland, right?"

"Yeah, that's right, Chief. You're getting the hang of this Christmas stuff, you really are. Where are we gonna plug the light in, Mac?"

"There's an outlet behind the shelves there, that would probably look best, don't you think? Less cord stretched across than if we plug them in on the other wall."

"Yeah, I think you're right. Do you have extension cords for these?" Jim picked up the first string and began to patiently untangle the ball of lights and green wire.

"There should be one there, in the box." Duncan took the end of the lights with the plug and helped Jim unwind the string.

"Yep, got it." Blair held up the orange extension cord, taking it over the the wall to plug it in. "Okay, give me the end."

Duncan walked the light plug over to Blair, who plugged it in, smiling in satisfaction when the multi-colored string lit up. "Cool, they work. No burned out bulbs?"

"Nope, we're good Chief."

Jim helped Duncan wind the lights in spirals around the top of the tree, telling himself that he'd handled that a hell of a lot better than he would have four weeks ago. He was proud of himself, when he thought about all the little ways he had changed for Blair. Well, maybe just because of him. Blair was the most extraordinary person he'd ever met, and it had taken him almost five years to come to terms with the idea that yes, he did love Blair. It just wasn't what he'd imagined, or what he thought love was supposed to be. He didn't have a crush on him, he didn't get all mushy and romantic, it seemed ridiculous to even imagine it. He just needed him, in a way so basic, so essential, that it didn't matter, absolutely nothing in this world was more important to him than his Guide, and the bond they shared.

That was the easy part, well, at least now it was. The physical stuff was a little more baffling. His body knew what was happening, even when his brain couldn't manage to wrap itself around the concept. Gradually, a little bit at a time, things seemed less strange, more normal. Like kissing Blair, or even just reaching out to touch him. He didn't hesitate anymore, and the more comfortable he became with Blair as a bed mate, the more questions he had that he didn't know how to ask. Lately, he watched Duncan and Blair not so much to force himself to deal with it, but to try to get a little more information about how he was supposed to do this.

"Hey, Jim..." Duncan murmured softly.

"Huh?"

"You weren't zoning, were you?"

"No, just thinking. Sorry, I'll get another string." He realized that Duncan had tucked in the end of the string of lights, and was waiting for him to get another.

When he came back to the tree, Duncan was watching Blair unwrap the ornaments. He had a small smile on his face and a bemused, faraway look in his eyes. It was almost reassuring, to see Duncan get so moony over Blair, it made him feel better. Blair was holding up a frosted glass globe decorated with silver and white tassels, spinning it back and forth to watch the tassels dance. Duncan's smile spread until it lit up his face, and Jim realized that he was very glad that it was Duncan MacLeod that loved Blair, and not anyone else.

"Where's this one from Jim?"

"I got that one in Hong Kong Chief. I bought it for my mom, actually. I hadn't seen her in years, but for some reason I thought she'd like it."

"Did she?" Duncan asked, handing Jim the roll of lights to wrap around his side of the big tree.

"I never got the chance to give it to her, she died that year."

"I'm sorry, Jim. That's too bad. I'm sure she would have liked it, it's beautiful."

"You know, I have no idea if she would have or not. I really didn't know her very well. After she left my dad, I think she thought it would just be easier on us if she kept her distance. I think Steven missed her a lot more than I did, he was younger..."

Blair stood up, carrying the ornament to the tree, where Jim was standing. Without saying a word, he hung the ornament with great care near the top, on a branch where he was sure it would be seen. Coming down off his tip toes, he leaned against the taller man for a moment, silently offering his Sentinel something to fill the empty space. It was what he did best, just being there, in case Jim needed him.

Duncan stretched luxuriantly under the covers, watching Blair's progress as he walked around the loft, turning off lights and closing windows. It was a cold night, and bed felt wonderful. Blair was wearing nothing but one of his old sweatshirts. It had become his favorite thing to sleep in. Washed over and over again, the fabric had become exceptionally soft, and the elastic waist stretched. It hung down to mid thigh on him, and every once in a while, Blair would bend over slightly and he would catch a glimpse of an attractively curved ass cheek.

"Come to bed, Caro, I'm lonely."

"Oh are you? Lonely or just horny?" Blair teased, crossing the length of the loft to crawl into the big bed.

"Both. Definitely both."

"Well, I just might be able to help you out with that, Mr. Lonely." Blair cuddled up to Duncan's warmth, lying down on his side to wrap his arms around Duncan's waist. "You know, for a day that started out really lousy, it sure turned out well. I had a really good day, in spite of everything."

"Mm, and we haven't gotten to the grande finale." Duncan grinned at him, wiggling his eyebrows.

Blair laughed, propping himself up on his elbow to look at him. "What did you have in mind?"

Duncan's smile widened, he interlaced his fingers behind his head, laying back on his pillow. He closed his eyes, letting the picture form in his mind.

"Hmm, a beautiful boy on top of me, long hair in my face, moving nice and slow..."

"That's a pretty picture. We can do that..." Blair whispered, rolling from his side on top of his lover.

Jim sat in front of the muted television, half listening to CNN. He was tired, but not quite tired enough to sleep, not yet. He drank his beer, thinking over the day and everything that had happened. His hearing already tuned to the quiet tv, Blair and Duncan's voices broke into his reverie. They were getting ready for bed, Blair was barefoot, walking around the loft. He tried to make himself shut them out, but after the way they'd been teasing each other this afternoon, his curiosity just wouldn't let him. No matter what he tried to think about to block it out, the sound of their voices drew him back.

Duncan was telling Blair to come to bed, and after the sound of the window being latched, he did. Jim listened to their bedsprings squeak, trying desperately not to imagine his Guide crawling into bed with Duncan. It didn't make him angry, not at all. It was comforting to know that Blair had someone to take care of him, if anything were ever to happen to him. The pictures his mind tried to form were maddening, just the same. They created such intense confusion, arousal and curiosity for him, he didn't know how to turn his ear away from the sounds of them.

"A beautiful boy, on top of me, hair in my face, moving very slowly..."

Jim moaned softly, feeling himself grow hard almost instantly. That bothered him, but he wasn't sure if it was because he was reacting to the act Duncan was describing, or because it was Duncan's voice that he was reacting to, and not Blair's.

"Oh yeah, we can do that..."

Blair's whisper, and then the sounds of his Guide moving in the bed, the weight shifting to the middle. He was on top of Duncan, and they were kissing. Not noisily, but certainly passionately.

"Sure this is what you want, handsome?" Blair's whisper was full of excitement and restraint. He was moving, but Jim wasn't sure exactly how.

"Oh yes. Besides, you can't go back on your word. You promised."

"I did? When?"

"I believe there was some sort of threat to the more... receptive parts of my person. Something about making me walk funny."

Blair's laughter was throaty, his happiness coming through so strongly that suddenly Jim felt twice as guilty for invading their privacy. He had the thought that Blair and Duncan weren't messing around, they weren't fucking, they were making love. It seemed strange, to think of two men together that way, but that was undeniably the case.

"Kiss me, handsome."

They were quiet for what seemed like a long time, only the soft sounds of lips meeting and parting in the silence, and the rustle of the cotton sheets and the blankets. Jim was still on the couch, leaning back now, his hands limp in his lap and his beer forgotten on the coffee table.

"You taste so good. I love you Duncan. "

Blair's whisper had a tone of urgency, now, and his weight shifted on the mattress. Jim's mind formed a very vivid, detailed picture of his Guide, sliding down Duncan's naked body, and he groaned, ashamed by his inability to control his mind's visions of them together, or his body's powerful reaction.

"Blair... Oh Caro... I want you. I want you now."

"Shh... Relax, handsome, we have all night. It's not like I get you in this mood all the time, let me enjoy it."

"Ah... God, your mouth..."

Jim moaned softly, his hand moving slowly, unconsciously, to his belt. Duncan's quiet groans filled his ears, and his eyes drifted shut, blocking out everything but the soft sounds of their lovemaking.

"Spread your legs a little wider for me." Blair's whisper was lower, more intimate.

Duncan shifted on the bed, his breathing becoming more harsh in the silence. He groaned Blair's name, very obviously trying to be quiet.

"Blair... Blair... Oh god, please."

"Don't rush me, lover. I like you like this. Tell me this doesn't feel incredible..." Blair's tongue was busy, the soft sounds of his licking and sucking so painfully arousing that Jim had his cock freed from the prison of his slacks and in his fist before he even realized it.

"Ah god... Yes, it feels good. So good..." Duncan cried softly, his voice breaking on the last words.

"Mmm, relax, just enjoy it."

"No one's ever... done this to me before, before you. Oh god..."

There was the sound of blankets shifting and then Jim realized that Blair must have stopped, because Duncan's breathing evened out a little, becoming less raspy.

"You're kidding. Really? Not in four hundred years?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. No, definitely not, I'd remember it."

Blair laughed, joyously, and then he asked, "How could anyone, possibly, resist sticking their tongue in this gorgeous, perfect ass? You're so incredible, how could they not want to do this..."

Duncan moaned in answer, his breath rushing out of him as his heartbeat picked up speed. Jim's hand fell to the side, his erection diminishing gradually as he sat there, a perfect picture of total shock, his mouth hanging open and his eyes staring sightlessly in front of him. He had heard the words "rim job" before in his life, but he'd never actually considered what the term meant. He never could have imagined Blair doing something like that, that was for sure. He was mildly disgusted, but mostly he was simply shocked, astounded. It wasn't something he was ever going to be able to ask his Guide about, that was for sure.

Why the hell would you want to do that, or have it done to you, for that matter? What would it feel like? Jim thought about it for almost a full second, and then decided that he really didn't want to know. Taking refuge in the half a can of almost warm beer, he finished it off in two gulps and got up to throw it out. He turned off the lights, and when straight to bed. Getting under the covers and curling up on his side, he realized that it was now very easy to block out Blair and Duncan's voices, it took almost no effort at all. He lay there for a long time in the darkness, not sleeping, but not thinking anything either. He tried to tell himself that his life was complicated enough, he didn't need to start worrying about what Blair and Duncan did in bed together.

Methos lay sprawled out on Joe's couch, surrounded by many stacks of photocopied material. Joe had fulfilled his promise, and obtained for him from the library a copy of every paper Blair Sandburg had ever published, including a copy of the dissertation, which was in itself an exhaustive body of work. He'd been reading for the past twenty-four hours.

He had a little more respect for Duncan's new boyfriend, but still doubted seriously that he had the necessary skills to be a Guide to anyone. The thesis itself was a joke, his theories were all based on erroneous facts, but it did give him some interesting insights into the dynamics of Blair's relationship with Ellison. Obviously, that was the problem. What he wanted to know, and still had no answer for, was what the hell Duncan was doing between them.

He had it all wrong, of course, Methos had seen that before he'd even read the dissertation, but his theory that Ellison's hyperactive senses were a fight or flight response was simply laughable. Sentinels kept watch and protected their tribes because it was their nature to do so. They reacted the way they did to their environment because of protective instincts, not fear. They were intensely nurturing, and almost totally submissive in their relationship with their Guide.

A Sentinel's whole life was centered around their need to help and protect their people. Due to their latent, he'd always thought genetic, abilities, they were usually the primary hunters, providing meat for the entire tribe. They also helped to gather other hard to find necessities like fruits and nuts, in the seasons when they were less plentiful. It was part of their job, but also their own need, to feed the tribe and to provide extra food for hoarding.

A Sentinel never ate the food he provided for the community, though. Like the holy men, they secluded themselves, living in dwelling separated by a little distance from the rest of their people, and were fed and clothed solely by their Guide. It was both a Guide's honor, and his responsibility, to feed and clothe the Sentinel, and to provide for all of their personal needs. It was a much, much closer and more dependent relationship than the one between Blair and Ellison had seemed to be.

Part 28

By Zen&nancy

Duncan woke up five minutes before the alarm clock was set to go off. He spit the curl out of his mouth, reaching over his lover's body to slide the button on the clock to the off position. Blair moved with him, still sound asleep, and Duncan's first thought was to marvel at his lover's heat seeking ability.

It was cold in the loft this morning. Duncan thought of the three frozen miles of park path ahead of him, and almost let a sound asleep Blair pull him back down to his pillow. He kissed his forehead instead, tucking the blankets around the curled form when he sat up, brushing the long strands of his own hair back from his face. Blair flung an arm out, making a grab for his pillow, and dragged it to his chest. Duncan sighed, and made himself leave their bed for the icy bathroom.

Brushing his teeth, he realized that on mornings like these, knowing that downstairs Jim was waking up and facing the cold too was the only thing that got him out of bed. Before he'd had Jim for a running partner, he hadn't been nearly as disciplined about it.

Standing under the hot shower spray, his body remembered the night before, and a wide grin spread across his face. Blair gave him so much, he made Duncan happier than he'd ever imagined he'd be again. Perhaps because it was almost his birthday, Duncan found himself taking a moment to think about how full his life really was at the present, all the people he had to be grateful for. He had a brilliant, beautiful lover, that made his life feel like a gift again, instead of a burden. In Jim, he had a friendship that he never would have imagined, which was becoming more valuable to him every day. Blair hadn't spoke anything less than the truth two months ago, when he'd told Duncan that he and Jim had a great deal in common. Jim was a good man, with a strong moral character, that he felt lucky to have as a friend. Methos was home for Christmas, and soon Richie and Amanda would be too.

The water whistled in the pipes, letting him know that Jim was awake and in the bathroom. Duncan pulled himself out of his reverie, hurrying through the rest of his shower and shave. When he opened the bathroom door, a towel wrapped around his waist, he was confronted with a blast of icy cold air, and went directly to his dresser to find his warmest sweat suit. The windows of the loft were frosted over, so he couldn't see the street, but he had no doubt that it was a bitter morning, and that there would be snow on the ground. The cold had too much damp in it for it not to have snowed during the night.

Duncan stopped at the foot of the bed to look at Blair curled around his pillow for another minute. Only the tip of Blair's nose and the hand that curled around the edge of the blankets were visible, everything else was burrowed underneath the thick down comforter. He would wake up cold, Duncan was sure. He thought again about whether or not it would be crazy to try to add a fireplace to his living space. Maybe he would look into it after all, after the holidays were over.

Jim was locking his door when Duncan reached the bottom step of the second flight down. Duncan waited for him at the landing, returning the smile Jim flashed him as he came down the hallway.

"Morning. It's gonna be bitter out there." Jim looked perversely happy about the harsh weather.

"Yeah, it sure is." Duncan grinned back, suddenly ready for the challenge. It made a world of difference, having a partner to egg him on and bring out his competitive spirit. "So we run faster, to stay warmer, right?"

Jim laughed, following him down the last flight of steps and down the hallway. "Sounds like a good theory to me Mac."

"Can we take the truck today? I'm not sure the T-Bird is going to want to start," Duncan asked, unbolting the door to the street. A blast of wet, icy air greeted them, and both men shuddered.

"Sure. The streets are too icy to be driving that baby anyway. You should store it in the winter and get something more practical."

"Yeah, I guess I should. I like your truck." Duncan set a brisk pace to the side of the building where Jim parked, rubbing his arms with his gloved hands. "You are aware of the fact that it's probably less than twenty degree's out here, right?"

"Yep, and we're crazy, but I'm not letting you go back to bed."

"Okay, sergeant, let's go."

Jim laughed, unlocking the passenger door for him. "That's lieutenant, buddy. Get in the truck and quit whining. You're not the only one freezing your balls off here. Once we get moving it won't be so bad."

Duncan and Jim ran side by side, sharing the narrow path. They had the park to themselves this morning, none of the other early morning joggers had braved the bitter air. The silence had a crystal quality to it, and the branches of the trees and bushes were all covered in a thin layer of ice. Their running shoes made a crunching sound on the path, and their breath floated in twin puffs before them as they ran.

When they'd passed their mile mark for the third time, Duncan dropped to a walk a few paces ahead, stopping to wait for Jim to fall into stride beside him.

"That was good," Jim huffed, sucking in deep lungfuls of the cold air.

"Uh-huh. Very. We should start timing these..." Duncan paused to breath, "That was pretty fast."

Jim nodded, laughing a little as he panted. "See, you were right, the colder it is, the faster you can run."

Duncan's teeth chattered when he answered, "This is an army thing, right? Total defiance of the elements?"

Jim shook his head, grinning back. It felt great to be out in the bitter cold silence, his heart pounding from exertion and his body warmed from the run. "Nope. I know what your problem is Mac, you don't have a hat. How do you expect to stay warm when your head's uncovered? Just because you're Immortal doesn't mean you can't get cold, right?" Jim was wearing a wool ski hat, bought for it's ability to insulate rather than it's fashion statement.

Duncan shrugged, shivering, and picking up the pace a little. They would walk the mile long circle around the park one more time before heading back to the parking lot, and he wanted to get it over with as fast as possible. "I guess I should have thought of a hat. I really haven't needed one yet this winter. My hair keeps me pretty warm, and I usually sweat with a hat on, even when it's snowing. This is really bitter, though. What do you think the temperature is?"

"Mm, my guess is no more than fifteen degrees, maybe more like ten or twelve. It's pretty damn cold."

By the time they made it back to the truck, Duncan was shivering violently, sweat sliding down his back in cold trickles, leaving goose bumps. He eyed Jim's fleece sweat suit appraisingly, asking, "Aren't you freezing?"

"Not too bad, now that my blood's pumping. I have long underwear on under this though, and a hat."

Jim unlocked Duncan's door, leaning in to pop the bench seat back. Pulling out a fleece blanket he kept for emergencies, he handed it to Duncan before going around to the driver's side. "Here, wrap yourself up. It's not good to shiver like that after you work out, you're gonna strain your muscles."

Duncan laughed, thinking that if he did, they would heal almost immediately, but he took the blanket with gratitude.

"Thanks. You're the best." Duncan gave Jim a bright smile, wrapping the warm blanket around his shoulders before he hopped in.

Jim started the truck, which turned over on the first try. "We should probably let it warm up again, the engine's cold."

Duncan nodded, getting comfortable under his blanket. It was nice when Jim drove in the morning, and he didn't have to worry about it. "Sure, no problem."

Jim stared out the window for a moment, wondering how to phrase his question. He turned back to Duncan abruptly, asking, "Mac... Do you mind if I ask you about this Immortality thing? I've been thinking about it a lot, I can't seem to get the idea out of my head."

Duncan shook his head. "No, go ahead. What sort of thing do you want to know?"

"Well, I guess what I'm trying to figure out, is how you see yourself. I mean, do you think of yourself as human, or something else? You're four hundred years old... does it make you feel more like a god than a person?"

Duncan smiled thoughtfully, thinking about how much it told him about a person, the way they reacted to his Immortality. He was touched by Jim's question, it made him smile to think of Jim seeing him as some kind of superman. He thought carefully before he answered, trying to decide which issue to address first.

"Immortality is a gift, but I don't think it makes you more than human, not in the way you're talking about. I've tried very hard to hang on to my humanity, it's important to me. When an Immortal loses their respect for mankind, it usually destroys them in the end. We're not gods, we have just as many flaws and shortcomings as mortals do. I've seen men who thought they were gods, and it sickened me. I've also seen how devastating it can be when one of us feels separated, set apart from humanity. Detaching yourself from the mortal word that way can drive you mad."

Jim nodded in understanding, thinking about what his friend had said. It made him feel better, to know that Duncan thought of his Immortal life that way.

"How do manage to do that, stay connected with the present, when you have so much past behind you? I keep thinking about what the world was like when you were born, and how much has changed since then. How do you do it?"

Duncan answered without hesitation. "Friends. I don't think I could, if I didn't have people close to me who are mortal, who's time is now. Blair does that, you do, too. Caring about people who live in the present keeps you motivated to keep up with the times, to change. Immortals who can't change lead very lonely lives. I don't ever want to be that far behind the times, that I can't relate to what's going on around me."

Jim put the truck into gear, cranking up the heat. Duncan's answer surprised him a bit. He hadn't thought about it that way.

"That's good. Seems like it might be a challenge sometimes, keeping up with it all."

"It is, but it's worth it. You've been thinking about this quite a bit. Does it bother you?" Duncan asked quietly, smiling at Jim when he turned to look over at him.

"Well, no, it's not that the idea of your Immortality upsets me, I'm just trying to get a handle on it, you know?" He laughed suddenly, shaking his head. "I just thought about how Blair must have reacted, when you told him. I bet he had a thousand questions."

Duncan grinned back, nodding. "Yeah, he did, but I sort of distracted him..." His smiled softened, remembering. "It was the first night we made love."

Jim swallowed hard, determined not to let himself get embarrassed, or jealous, either. He was never going to get a better opportunity. "Can I ask you some things?" He frowned, trying to find words that didn't want to come. "I... There's so much that I'm just really confused about, with him... Maybe I'm crossing the line here, getting so personal..." he stalled, trying to back himself out of the questions he'd started to ask. Images of what he'd overheard last night crowded his head, and he felt his face getting hot.

"Hey, you can ask me whatever you want to, we're friends. You're not going to embarrass me. At least, I don't think you are. It's worth a shot, though." Duncan teased, chuckling. "You're already bright red, so you might as well just plow through. What do you want to know?"

Jim laughed self consciously, shaking his head. "Well... When did you figure out that you were attracted to men?" He blurted out the question, keeping his eyes focussed intently on the stoplight they were sitting at.

"About two hundred years ago." Duncan grinned at him, a little surprised, but not unhappy, that the question was about him personally. It was rare that Jim inspired feelings of protectiveness in him, but this new, uncertain version of Jim Ellison had an endearing quality, innocence, and a bashful curiosity he couldn't help but respond to. "I fell into bed drunk with my dearest friend, and he wanted to fool around. I thought he was teasing, just being silly. By the time I figured out he was serious I was enjoying myself too much to stop. He was my best friend for a long time, one of the longest. His name was Fitz."

"He was like you? Immortal?" Jim clarified, trying to keep his voice from cracking.

"Yes. Our friendship spanned over two hundred years. Hugh Fitzcarn was a very good friend, he saved my life more than once."

"Somebody took him? He lost the Game?" There was sympathy in Jim's voice, as he maneuvered the truck through the icy intersection.

"A man I wasted my time hating for years. I killed him, after he took Fitz from me, and saved someone else's life in the process. He was trying to teach me something, but I missed it that time."

"Adam?" Jim guessed, wondering if he was being too nosy.

"Yeah." The abrupt tone of Duncan's reply gave him his answer, and Jim returned to his original question instead.

"So, when you did, the first time..." He stopped, lost for words. He didn't even know the words for what he wanted to ask.

"What? It's okay, just ask me." Duncan encouraged, reaching across to squeeze Jim's shoulder briefly in encouragement.

Jim took a deep, noisy breath, laughing a little at his own ignorance when he exhaled. "That's my problem, Mac. I don't even know enough to know how to ask it."

Duncan nodded, and thought about it for a moment. "Let me try. You want to know if I took the submissive role, that first time?"

Jim felt his face darken, and nodded, still not able to look at Duncan.

"It was pretty mutual, and there wasn't any penetration, we were too drunk to do much, really, but I remember it being... very sweet. I do though, if that's what you're wondering. With Blair." Duncan clarified, feeling a little strange talking about it, but determined to make this conversation happen. If they didn't get it out in the open soon, Jim was going to die of curiosity, he was sure.

"And that doesn't... Bother you?" Jim finished lamely, his eyes darting quickly across the space between them, begging for help.

"It doesn't make me feel any less masculine, if that's what you mean, but that's because I like being on the bottom sometimes. Really, it's not that much different from being in bed with a woman, and letting her take control of what you're doing, be on top, whatever. Well, yes, I guess it is, in some ways... But it's not like you think, it doesn't change who you are on the inside. Does that make sense?"

Duncan looked at Jim, trying to decide if he was giving his friend the information he needed. It wasn't easy, neither of them were much good at this personal discussion thing. Duncan had the thought that Blair would be a much better person to answer these questions, and then, just as quickly, he thought of why he might not be...

"How's that possible?" Jim asked quickly, determined to get the question he'd been wanting to ask so badly out, before he lost his nerve. "It doesn't make you feel like a woman, to let him do that to you..."

Duncan sucked in a slow breath, feeling a smile and a little heat spread across his own features. "Jim, have you been listening?" He asked very carefully, watching Jim's face closely when he spoke.

Jim swerved the truck to the side of the road, pulling into a parking space he'd spotted at the last minute. Driving and having this conversation had just become impossible. He tried to make himself look Duncan in the eyes, and found he absolutely couldn't. His gaze moved across the dashboard instead, as he mumbled. "I didn't mean to... I mean, I try really hard not to... But sometimes it's just not possible. It's like my ears just tune into his heartbeat... when he gets worked up... I'm feeling like a total jerk for it."

Duncan digested Jim's words carefully, doing his best to keep a firm hold on his temper, and his emotions all together. It wasn't easy. "You're saying it's this Sentinel/Guide connection, you don't have any control over it? You just hear him?"

"No, not exactly... Sort of." Jim took a frustrated breath, and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Mac, I just don't know how to explain it, and you definitely deserve an explanation. I hear his heartbeat all the time, but most of the time I'm just sort of tuning it out, keeping it on monitor, so to speak. When it spikes, it's like it sets off a trigger, and my ears go looking till I find him."

"Okay, I think I understand. What about after that?"

Jim's eyes dropped to his feet, and he shook his head. "After that I should be able to just turn it right back down again, and not listen, but..."

"You're confused, and curious, and sometimes you don't, when you know you should?" Duncan offered, asking himself why he was trying to let Jim off the hook even as he did it.

Jim's head came up sharply and his eyes met Duncan's. "Aren't you angry?" He heard himself ask, in a complete state of shock.

"Um, I don't know... Let me think about it for a minute." Duncan gave Jim a strange little smile and turned to stare out the window. Jim twisted his hands on the steering wheel, feeling very sorry that he'd brought the subject of sex up at all.

"I'm assuming you can hear me, too?"

Jim couldn't answer, he dropped his head down onto his forearms on the steering wheel, groaning. "Mac, I really don't think I can handle any more of this. Maybe we could just give it up and go back to the dojo and you could beat the shit out of me and then we could just forget all about it? What do you think?"

Duncan threw back his head and laughed until tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. Finally, he passed a hand over his face, and thumped Jim on the back, hard. "You're gonna live, Jim, I promise. Come on, we can do this, we don't need to drag Blair into the middle to have a serious conversation."

Duncan realized what he'd said, froze for a second, and then began to laugh twice as hard. After a beat, Jim joined him, shaking his head in despair. "I don't know, Mac," he choked out. "Any more of this in touch with my emotions shit and I'm gonna die, I can't handle it."

Suddenly, Duncan had an idea. "I'll tell you what, we'll go back to the dojo, and have a really good spar, just hands, no weapons, and neither of us will try to kill each other. Then we'll sit down and try to talk about this again, with beer, without Blair. And if that doesn't work..."

"Deal."

Jim nodded enthusiastically, and put the truck back into gear, watching the traffic in his side mirror for a chance to pull back out onto the street.

When they got back to the dojo, Jim followed Duncan inside the double doors, kicking off his shoes and removing his sweatshirt when Duncan did. They turned to face each other, each automatically sizing up his opponent.

"Any rules?" Jim asked, falling naturally into a slight crouch, more than ready to work off some excess tension.

"Not unless you can think of any. I don't care if you don't pull your punches."

"Hey this was your idea to begin with. I don't want to beat you senseless, I just wanna work off some steam."

Duncan stepped back to warm up, throwing Jim a cocky smile. "Okay, then, we won't worry about being nice, and we'll see how it goes."

Jim nodded, and his body fell back a little, tightening like a spring. "Let's go."

Duncan made the first move, a strike aimed at Jim's abdomen, blocked by a hard forearm. When they had traded a series of blows with each strike effectively blocked, they grinned at each other, and got a little more serious. Jim's first kick caught Duncan by surprise, high on his chest, and he staggered back but recovered. The second he was waiting for, and Jim had to alter his trajectory in mid kick to keep from being caught and thrown to the ground.

They sparred freely for the next fifteen minutes, their moves an equal mix of eastern and western hand to hand combat techniques. The only sound in the huge room was their heavy breathing and the impact of flesh on flesh. By the time they fell into a free flowing rhythm of blows and blocks and counter blows both men showed signs of heavy physical exertion. Their bodies danced smoothly in a circular pattern, while their eyes remained locked together.

When Duncan fell back a step out of reach from a punch that connected harder than Jim had intended, he relaxed for a critical second, giving Mac a moment to get his wind back. It was a lesson he'd only have to learn once, Jim decided, as his feet were swept out from under him by a low, spinning kick. Duncan caught him with a crooked arm behind his neck halfway to the floor and went down with him, flipping Jim neatly underneath him as he did so. His arm prevented the back of Jim's head from hitting the floor, but he took most of Duncan's weight on impact, his arms caught beneath him.

Good move, Jim thought, trying to memorize it for the next time. Duncan was sprawled on top of him, one arm behind his head and the other held at the base of his neck, in a non threatening, but entirely lethal position. Duncan grinned at him, and Jim sucked in air, in spite of the weight on his chest, expanding his lungs and tightening muscles to prepare to throw him off.

"Fancy move, I like that." Jim told him, getting his breath back.

Duncan felt the power of the massive body beneath him, as abdominal muscles rippled and thighs turned to steel. His brain told him to get up, to roll back to his feet now, but he was distracted, very distracted. It sent a rush of pure adrenaline through him to hold down all that strength, to feel it ripple and coil beneath him. They were both drenched in sweat, skin sliding against skin everywhere they touched.

Jim arched and exploded into motion underneath him, his powerful legs coming up to separate their bodies and sending Duncan several feet into the air, although he managed to land on his feet.

Jim grinned at him, and shook his head hard, shaking off the impact of Duncan's weight. "Go again?"

"Yeah." Duncan responded, but he wasn't ready. He was caught in blue eyes so clear that for a moment they didn't seem to be any color at all. Totally focused, on him, intent and tracking his slightest move. Drawn into the power there, he froze, and when Jim threw the first punch, he ducked too late, and caught the hard right hook in the bridge of his nose. His head snapped back, and then he fell, his body curling bonelessly to the floor by years of training and instinct alone.

"Shit!" Jim fell to his knees next to Duncan's curled form, fighting off a wave of sickness as the sounds of cartilage crushing and shifting registered in his brain. "Oh God, Duncan, I'm sorry..."

Duncan moaned in pain, curling up tighter, his hands over his nose, which was now an inch to the right on his face and spurting blood freely. "Wait," he groaned, fingers feeling for the sides of of his broken nose. Jim's hands grasped his biceps to steady him, holding on tight, and Duncan pushed hard, setting the cartilage back into place with another stomach turning crunch.

Jim leaned over him, pulling Duncan's head into his chest. Fear, remorse and protectiveness churned inside him, as Duncan moaned in agony. "I'm so sorry, Mac. I swear, I thought you were ready to start again, I didn't realize, I'm so sorry..." Jim babbled, and after a moment Duncan moved, pushing himself back from the heaving chest. " 'S okay. Wait, it's healing." Jim looked closely, and frozen in astonishment. It was like watching time lapse photography, watching skin knit itself back together, the blue lines of energy sparking over Duncan's bloody face.

"Jesus that's weird! Are you okay?"

"No, but I will be in a minute." Duncan's voice sounded nasal and full of pain.

"Oh God Mac, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to, I swear. I wasn't even aiming for your face."

"I know. I was slow, I got distracted. My fault. Don't worry about it, okay?" Jim looked like he was going to worry about it a lot.

"Jesus! I broke your nose and you're telling me it's no big deal?" Jim held his own nose as he spoke, as if he could feel Duncan's pain. He shuddered as the cartilage fused back together. "I can hear it, it's gotta be killing you." Jim grimaced as he watched Duncan's nose heal.

Duncan sat up on the floor, still holding his face, and watching Jim. "Are you okay?" He asked, worried about the way Jim's eyes were fixed on his, he looked like he was about to zone out. "Jim? Sit down." He reached for Jim's arm, pulling him back down when he started to get up.

"Yeah, it's the sound of the cartilage growing back together. Really weird, I've never heard anything like it."

"I never would have thought of it." Duncan's voice sounded normal when he spoke. His brain ran with the thought... Sentinels and Immortals, and he decided with a cold shiver down his spine that Jim must never be around when he took a Quickening. "You're not going to zone on me, are you?"

Jim laughed shortly, shaking his head. "No, of course not. Are you really okay?"

"I'll be fine. I'm sorry I gave you such a poor spar, I was sloppy. We don't have to stop, if you don't want to."

"I don't know about you, Mac, but I don't feel like fighting anymore."

Jim looked exhausted. Duncan decided that getting Sentinel back to Guide was the best remedy, and got to his feet, offering Jim a hand. "Let's go up then, you can make us breakfast in the loft, as penance." He smiled, pulling the larger man to his feet when Jim gave him his hand.

"Not looking like this, we'll give Blair a heart attack. Let's clean up first." Jim led the way to the locker room, holding the door for Duncan. He had Duncan's blood on his hand, and his chest, too, but Duncan's face looked like an extra from a horror movie.

"Is it that bad?" Duncan asked, letting Jim lead him over to the sinks. He looked up to see his reflection in the mirror and laughed. "Oh Lord, that does look awful."

Jim reached for a towel from the stack next to the sinks. He wet its corner with warm water. Taking Duncan's face in his free hand, Jim began gently wiping the blood away from Mac's face. Duncan opened his mouth to object, but then thought twice about it. He was perfectly capable of cleaning himself up, but Jim seemed to need to do this for him. Besides, it felt oddly good to have someone being so protective of him. He found this part of Jim's character endearing, even if it wasn't necessary.

Jim's nose was filled with the metallic smell of Duncan's blood, and their sweat that hung in the air. Once he had most of the blood off Duncan's face, he turned back to the sink to wash the blood off his hands and forearms. He wet down another towel and cleaned the blood from his chest. Duncan did the same, splashing water on his face when he was done.

"Well, you look cleaned up, how do I look?" Duncan asked Jim, not finding any remains of blood on the other man.

"Look clean to me." Jim grinned conspiratorially, "Bet he'd never know, if we don't tell."

Duncan laughed, and shook his head, "I'm not going to rat you out. I won't say a word."

Jim clapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. "You're a pal, Mac. A good egg."

The sounds of male voices and the smell of coffee penetrated Blair's consciousness, and he rolled over under the covers, thinking hazily that he must have slept late. Duncan and Jim sounded much more awake than they usually did when they returned from their run.

"Hey, sleepyhead, are you planning on spending the whole day there?" Duncan called from the kitchen, reaching for a mug to pour Blair a cup when he scooted to the edge of the bed, still wrapped up in the covers.

"It's freezing in here! Did you guys run? Is it arctic out there?"

"Yes on all counts Chief. Duncan, turn the heat up, he's right, it's cold in here."

"Thank you Duncan." Blair called sleepily, dragging a blanket with him as he crawled out of the warmth of the bed.

Blair shuffled across the cold floor, pushing his unruly hair off his face. When his eyes came into focus, he couldn't help but smile. Jim and Duncan were in the kitchen, shirtless and sweaty. //Nice way to wake up. Very nice.//

"You two seem awfully cheerful, what's up?" He looked up at Jim and Duncan, reaching a hand out from under his blanket to take the cup of coffee from Duncan.

"Nothing." Duncan smiled. Blair was one of the few people he knew who could be cute as hell in the morning.

Blair brought his coffee cup to his lips, ready to buy it, until his eyes met Jim's over the rim.

"What kinda nothing?"

"Chief, why don't you take a shower and wake up before you start your daily round of investigation?" Jim smiled at him adoringly.

"Um, maybe..." Blair's eyes went quickly from Jim's to Duncan's, and then back to his Sentinel's, trying to decide what he'd missed by oversleeping. "Yeah, okay, I think it'll keep, at least for coffee."

Duncan's brown eyes laughed at Jim's across the counter. Jim smiled back, thinking that Duncan was as good a friend as he could have asked for, even if he hadn't.

"You look like you're contemplating something..." Blair squinted up at Jim, poking a hard finger into the center of his bare chest. Turning on his heel, Blair turned his sharp gaze on Duncan, shaking his head, "And you, my dear, look like the cat that swallowed the canary. You two intend to talk, or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Blair walked into Duncan's chest with his arms crossed between them, a look of mock fierceness on his face.

"That's an awful lot of bravado for a guy who's only wearing a blanket." Duncan laughed, making a grab for Blair's covers, and pulling him against his chest.

Blair squealed, catching his blanket around his waist, as Duncan began to tickle him. "Duncan!" Blair tried to get away, and found himself held against the hard chest by an arm around his ribcage. He laughed and fought harder, as Duncan began to tickle him in earnest. "Come on! Jim! Help me, man! Where's that blessed protector thing when you need it?" Blair was laughing so hard his face had turned bright red, and Duncan showed no sign of letting up.

Jim only chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't think so, Chief. I've beat him up enough for one day, you're on your own."

"Thanks a lot!" Blair shrieked, fighting for a better grip on his blankets. Jim watched his struggle under Duncan's restraining arm, feeling heat course through his body at the sight of his Guide squirming and twisting under Duncan's merciless assault. He had to look away, fearing a zone out.

Duncan shouted in surprise and indignation and Jim's eyes returned to them in time to see Blair twist out of his grasp and come flying across the kitchen, hurtling himself into Jim and spinning him around.

"Hide me!" Blair shouted, wrapping his arms and his blanket around Jim.

Blair's naked body pressed against him full length, and his laughter filled Jim's ears. It hurt, the sound, the touch, everything. Everything was suddenly turned up, and there was an emptiness, a huge, aching hole, that he fell into endlessly. He felt himself falling and tried to reach out for Blair, but he was gone.

"Jim! Jim, come back to me, come on, I'm here, listen, listen to my heart..."

Blair had backed away from Jim instinctively, now he grabbed his biceps, trying to pull him out of the zone.

"What's wrong, why isn't it working?" Duncan was at his side, growing more and more concerned as the seconds ticked by.

Blair shook his head, not taking his eyes from Jim's frozen features. "I don't know. What happened this morning? Tell me!"

"Nothing..." Duncan fumbled for words, shrugging helplessly when Blair's head snapped around to pierce him with worried, angry blue eyes. "We ran, we had a talk... then we sparred in the dojo. We had a little accident, he broke my nose... but it wasn't on purpose."

Blair turned back to his Sentinel, stepping close to cover him full length with his body. "Jim, come on, buddy, please. Come on back..."

Jim's arms jerked, coming up around him and crushing his ribcage, holding him pressed tightly to his chest. "Jim!" Blair gasped, afraid for a second that his ribs were going to be broken by the strength in Jim's arms.

"Blair? I'm sorry. I zoned? What happened?"

"Jim, sit down, you don't look good. Are you okay? What's going on with your senses?" Blair rambled anxiously, leading Jim over to the couch by his arm.

"I'm okay, I think..." Jim fell down hard onto the couch, his hands coming up briefly to cover his face. "Maybe we overdid it a little this morning, Chief, I'll be fine."

Blair shook his head, sending a piercing look to his lover across the room. "I don't buy it. What aren't you telling me?"

Duncan came to join them on the couch sitting down next to Jim, one hand reaching to touch his shoulder. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Just a spike, caught me off guard, flipped everything up. I'll be fine." Jim repeated, sounding much more sure of himself this time.

Jim took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The empty, achy feeling was still there, he felt hollow inside, but he didn't know how to say it. Blair was still watching him with worried, intense eyes. He hated to see his Guide look like that, so full of self recrimination. "Please, Blair, don't make a big deal out of it, okay? I feel fine, everything's working. Just let it go this time, okay?"

He wanted to tell his Guide not to be so upset, that it wasn't his fault, but he didn't know how to say it without admitting how bad he really felt.

Blair sighed in defeat, and got up from the chair, pulling his blanket back around his hips and heading for the shower. "I'm gonna shower, then we'll talk about this," he promised, sending Jim one more worried look over his shoulder before he closed the door.

"Ah geeze, Mac, I hate it when I do that to him." Jim confessed, sighing heavily. "He gets so upset about it, like it's all his fault."

"It's not like you did it on purpose, Jim. Do know why you zoned?" Duncan asked gently, feeling a rush of sympathy for the confusion he saw in Jim's eyes. He looked like Duncan felt when he came back from being dead.

Jim shrugged, his hands twitching in his lap. "I don't. I mean, I do, but I don't know how to describe it. It's him... it's like a battery, or a magnet or something, and sometimes, when he touches me, it's like the current runs backwards and blows it all up. Everything spikes at once, but I can't really feel it, it's just this emptiness..." Jim stopped, holding up his hands helplessly, "I don't know, Mac, I don't know how to explain it. I wish I could. I never used to take this stuff seriously, about the connection with the Guide. I remember him talking about it the first day, when I showed up at his office at Rainier, and I blew it off right away. I guess it scares me, that's probably what Blair'll come up with, once he's picked my brain for a few hours." Jim's hands came up to cover his face again, and he exhaled noisily, obviously not looking forward to another post zone out third degree.

"Why don't you go back to bed, take a nap, and you two can talk about it a little later. You look exhausted. It'll keep, right?" Duncan's brown eyes were full of concern, and Jim decided he was probably right. It had been one hell of a morning. Maybe a little more sleep wouldn't hurt.

"That's a really good idea. I think I'm going to take your advice, before he gets out of the shower. Hey, tell him I'm not blowing him off, just taking a rain check, okay?"

Duncan smiled, nodding. "Don't worry, it'll be fine."

"Thanks Duncan, I'll see you later." Jim told him, getting up to grab his sweatshirt from the stool at the counter where he'd dropped it.

"Don't worry about it, take a nap. Come up for dinner, I'll cook."

"That sounds nice. Have a good day, Mac." Jim called, leaving through the back door. Duncan listened to his steps on the stairs, a frown creasing his brow.

"Where's Jim?" Blair came out of bathroom, looking quickly around the loft. He was wearing Duncan's robe, because it was warmer his own, wrapping almost double around him, tied tightly at the waist and tucked up to keep it from dragging on the floor.

"I sent him downstairs to take a nap. He had a rough morning. Don't worry, he told me to tell you you have a rain check, you can talk about it later. He really was exhausted, Caro, I think he's pushing himself too hard, trying to adjust to everything."

"Like what?" Blair asked, coming over to sit with his lover on the couch.

"You, living here, the idea of sex with a man... Everything. Give him some time, I think he's going to be okay."

Blair raised his eyebrows at Duncan archly. "And when did you become the expert on Sentinels and zone outs?"

"I'm not, but I can see how hard he's trying. Maybe too hard." Duncan took Blair's hand in both of his own, stroking his thumb over the knuckles. "Don't be upset with me, I'm not trying to do your job, Caro. I care about him too."

A slow smile spread of Blair face, and he nodded. "Okay. That's cool. I know you do, it's just strange having somebody else understand."

Duncan smiled, pulling his lover close for a long, satisfying hug. "I think I'm getting there." Releasing Blair, Duncan held him away from his chest to look at him. "How are you, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Still wondering what I missed sleeping late. Feels like something important." Blair looked into Duncan's brown eyes levelly, feeling a little strange to be the one in the dark. Whatever he'd missed was the cause of Jim's zone out, it had to be.

"Just what I told you... We talked on the way home, in the truck a bit. It started out on Immortality and kinda veered off..."

"Uh huh?" Blair prompted when Duncan trailed off, looking uncomfortable. "To what?"

"Well... sex."

"Oh. Did you talk about me?" Blair asked, uncertain for a moment how he felt about this.

"Not exactly. I think he's questioning the dynamics, in a sexual relationship with another man... I don't want to betray his confidence, is that okay?" Duncan's expressive eyes questioned his lover's, not sure what the right thing to do was, whose trust to keep.

"Don't tell me, it's okay. Really, I mean it. If you guys have stuff that's just between you and him, that's good. I mean, we're trying to build trust here, right? I want him to be able to trust you, and talk to you, I think it's good. I'm not happy about that zone, though. It was a bad one. Why did it take him so long to respond to me? That scares me." Blair chewed on the end of a curl thoughtfully, something Duncan noticed he only did when he was upset.

"I wish I felt like I knew where we're going, me and him. How can I guide him when I'm totally lost?"

Duncan smiled, reaching out to run his hands through Blair's wet hair, pushing back off his face. "You're not, you're just upset because he zoned. Trust me, just give him some time, and stop worrying. Why don't we do something to take your mind off it for the day. How 'bout I take you to the museum?"

Blair smiled, leaning in for a long, soft kiss. "Mm, I'd love to, but I can't. I have work to do, piles of it. Haven't got the lesson plans for the next quarter done yet. Can I have a rain check from you too, handsome?"

"Sure, no problem. I'll stay home with you then, and make you take breaks. I can wrap presents while you're working." Duncan gave his lover a quick squeeze before getting up from the couch to get the shopping bags of presents waiting to be wrapped near the shelves. Blair opened his laptop, settling into a familiar position on the couch, with the coffee table pulled forward for him to work on.

Duncan watched him from across the room, where he was setting out rolls of wrapping paper and bows and tape on the table, feeling very good about spending a day at home alone with Blair. His lover put his glasses on, tucking his hair behind his ears. Duncan smiled, thinking that the loft seemed so much cozier with Blair there with him. These were his favorite kind of days, when they could just stay home together and enjoy each other's company.

By late afternoon Blair was deeply engrossed in his outlines for the coming semester's courses and Duncan had wrapped all of the presents for the party. Another bag of presents was hidden under the bed, but those he would wrap when Blair wasn't around. The phone rang, and Blair mumbled "couldya get that?" without looking up from his typing.

"Sure." Duncan reached behind him for the cordless phone resting in it's charger on the wall. "Hello?"

"Come have a beer Mac."

"Um, okay, I could. You're at Joe's?"

"Of course where else?"

Duncan laughed, listening to Joe's encouragements in the background. "All right, I'll come down. See you soon."

Blair looked up from his work when Duncan set the phone down. "You going over to Joe's?"

"Yeah, Adam wants me to have a beer with him. Is that okay with you?"

"Oh yeah, sure. Go have fun, tell Joe I said hey."

"Okay." Duncan crossed the room to lean over the back of the sofa, his arms going around Blair's chest to pull him back into a hug. "I'll be back soon. I love you, Caro. Give me a kiss."

Blair smiled, twisting around to reach his lover's lips. Duncan kissed him deeply, his tongue gently probing his mouth as his hand moved to the back of his head, holding Blair up for his kiss. "Mmm, I love you too, have fun."

"I will. Bye." Duncan stole one more kiss before going to the coat stand for his trench coat, wrapping a scarf around his neck for protection against the bitter cold.

Blair looked up at the clock as Duncan left, deciding he'd spent enough of his day on schoolwork, and that this was a perfect time to see what was going on with Jim Ellison. Whatever it was, it wasn't going to go away by him ignoring it. Maybe he'd be able to convince Jim that the only thing to do was talk about it, and maybe not, but if he didn't try he'd just sit up here in the loft and worry about it. Saving his document and shutting down the laptop, Blair got up to find clothes, laughing at himself for sitting around in Duncan's robe half the day. This had to be laziest Christmas vacation he'd ever had, and he had to admit, he was enjoying every minute of it.

Blair grinned when Jim opened the door before he could knock, happy to see Jim's smile of welcome.

"Hi. Duncan went to Joe's to have a beer with Adam. Can I come in?"

"Of course. C'mon in." Jim held the door open for him, following Blair back to the couch.

Blair dropped down cross legged into a corner of the couch, waiting for Jim to sit down with him.

"So, you wanna talk about what happened upstairs this morning?"

"No," Jim laughed, shaking his head. "But I'm going to, right?"

"Right." Blair nodded, hoping he looked a lot more confident than he felt.

Blair was taken completely by surprise when Jim leaned across the space between them, his hands going to Blair's hips to lift him squarely into Jim's lap. Blair's hands went to Jim's shoulders, surprised but not at all unhappy to find himself there.

Jim waited long enough for Blair to figure out what he wanted to do with his legs. When he wrapped them around Jim's waist, he pulled Blair closer, pressing his forehead to his Guide's as he spoke.

"Blair, if we gotta talk, can I have you here? I need you close..."

"Good. Me too." Blair's hands moved from Jim's shoulders to the back of his head, holding them that way while they took a deep, steadying breath.

"This is good...talk to me." Blair murmured, getting more comfortable on top of his Sentinel. He leaned into him, letting Jim take his weight. It felt good, they fit together just right this way.

Jim smiled shaking his head slowly against his Guide. "It's always like this. As soon as I have you close, it's like nothing was ever wrong in the first place, and I'm sure I'm not gonna zone when you touch me anymore. Then I do..." Jim sighed, letting the feel of Blair sink in, a wave of contentedness and satisfaction so deep, he felt it in his bones. "I talked to Mac this morning... It helped."

"That's good, and if you want to keep that between the two of you it's totally okay with me. Tell me about the zone. What did it feel like?"

"Everything just went into overdrive..." Jim took a deep breath, closing his eyes. It felt safer that way. "Sometimes when I look at you, I want you so badly... Just like, more than I know how to explain. It's this emptiness, it swallows me up. When you threw yourself into me this morning, it was just too much, it hurt. Touch, everything. But I know why... I was watching you, knowing you didn't have any clothes on under that blanket, and I was wanting you so badly... It felt like I was just going to die from it, and then I zoned." Jim was looking at him guiltily, as if he thought it was a crime he was admitting to, to look at his Guide lustfully.

"Oh God, I'm sorry... I'm here, anytime you need me, Jim, I'm here." Blair locked his arms behind Jim's head, letting his head drop to his Sentinel's shoulder.

"Don't be sorry. I feel foolish for not being able to get a handle on this, I should be able to control it..."

"You shouldn't have to." Blair wrapped his arms and legs more tightly around Jim, holding him as close to his body as he could. Somehow, Blair was determined to convince Jim that the link between them wasn't something he had to be ashamed of.

"You feel so good, if I could just keep you here I'd be happy," Jim whispered into Blair's hair, loving the feel of it on his face.

" 'S okay with me." Blair mumbled, sighing contentedly as he found the perfect spot to burrow into at the side of Jim's neck. He wanted to talk, to try to get closer to solving the problem of Jim's zone outs, but it felt so damn good, to be this close. It made it hard to concentrate on talking. Blair hugged the big body to him more tightly, wondering if Jim was having the same problem.

Jim felt his body responding, the rush of desire that burned through him like fire. "Ah, God, Blair... I want this. I want you." His own blood rushing through his veins pounded in his ears, and Jim fought for control of his senses.

Without thinking, his hands went to the sides of Blair's head, holding him still to press his lips to his Guide's mouth. Soft, warm lips pressed eagerly to his, parting under his pressure, opening to welcome his tongue. Jim heard himself groan against Blair's lips, and then he was devouring him, his hands plunging greedily into Blair's curls to hold him still. It felt so incredibly good, to thrust his tongue into Blair's mouth and taste him, to have his Guide wrapped around him, kissing him back with hungry enthusiasm.

His tongue deep in Blair's mouth, his hands moving across his back, all Jim could think of was that he wanted more. More of Blair's heat, his taste, more of the feel of his Guide pressed tightly against his body. When they broke apart, gasping, he shifted Blair's weight on top of him, trying to bring their hips into closer contact.

"Chief... I'm sick of feeling so clueless with you... Help me. I want you, I'm gonna die if I don't get you closer... More." Jim groaned, feeling Blair's hands tugging at his clothes as he tried to talk, to tell Blair how strange it was to feel so totally unsure of what to do next.

"You wanna move this to the bed man?" Blair was panting softly near his ear, his hands fighting with the buttons on his shirt.

"Yeah...that'd be good." Jim wasn't able to keep his mouth off his Guide long enough to let him up. In the end, they managed to get from the couch to the bed without letting go of each other for more than a moment. It was an awkward, shuffling struggle, but then he was flat on his back on the bed, and Blair was on top of him. Jim thought he might simply die of pure need as Blair's thighs covered his and he could feel the heat and the hardness of Blair's erect cock rubbing against his own.

"Blair..." Jim moaned, fighting for control enough to talk. The words he wanted to say swam in his head, while the feel and the smell of Blair overcame him, dissolving his inhibitions. All the nervousness and awkwardness he'd felt a moment ago was burned away by the heat of Blair's body and the words came tumbling out, "Show me how to do this right. Guide me, Blair. I need you to take control here, I need you so bad, Chief..."

"Oh, God, Jim, yeah...I will, I promise." Blair was groaning against his mouth, his lips so close that Jim could feel the vibration of his voice against his own lips, inside his mouth. The reaction it caused inside him was profound. Jim felt himself opening, melting, taking the vibration of his Guide's voice into his body, feeling it conducted by his bones. It was a strange, hypnotic sensation, that brought him to the very edge of zoning and left him there.

"Anything you want, anything, just tell me, Jim..." Blair was still fighting with his shirt, pulling it over his head when he lost patience with the buttons.

Jim moaned in ecstasy, as Blair's bare skin came in contact with his own. His Guide's voice ran through his body like an electrical current, except that it brought nothing but intense, mindless pleasure. Blair's hands were everywhere, fighting with single-minded determination with their clothing, not satisfied until he had stripped them both completely. Two sets of jeans, underwear and socks went flying over the side of the bed to land in a messy pile on the floor.

"Come here?" Jim panted, trying to make Blair hold still long enough to kiss him again.

"Oh yeah..." Blair groaned in answer, flattening himself on top of his Sentinel. Jim's response was so intense that for a second Blair thought he was going to come. "Easy, take it easy, breathe with me." Blair muttered against Jim's lips, not letting himself move at all on top of the hard, sweat slicked body. Jim followed his directions, slowly his breaths to match his Guide's. "Yeah, that's right, relax, feel me touching you... Oh man, this feels so good, Jim, like I could just sink right under your skin. Mmm, oh God, I swear I could come just touching you."

"You too?" Jim moaned back, his hands reaching to touch his Guide, moving hungrily over warm, soft skin. His hands moved slowly up and down Blair's sides, and finally over his ass, which made Blair cry out sharply and grind his pelvis into his Sentinel's hipbone.

"Oh man, you have no idea. I think I'm gonna zone, I want you so damn bad." Blair's lips covered his, and Jim's arms locked tightly around his middle, holding on for dear life as Blair's tongue plunged into his mouth. He was losing himself to the soft, smooth textures of Blair's tongue and lips, the taste he felt like he could never get enough of. Suddenly, Blair wrenched his mouth away, just before he zoned. "Wait... I wanna look at you. I just want to be able to see you like this."

Blair's legs straddled his waist, shifting his weight to his knees. His Guide's hands moved up between them to touch his face. Jim shuddered when Blair's fingers moved into his short hair, running his palm back and forth over his brush cut. Huge, dark blue eyes stared into his, so full of love and adoration that Jim could only press his forehead to Blair's, as he had earlier, and soak it in.

"Do you have any idea what this means to me? How important this is? Us, together like this... it's what I've always wanted, Jim, it makes me so happy, to be this close to you. So happy."

Blair's huge eyes were bright, shining with unshed tears. Jim took Blair's head in his hands, pulling him down to kiss him passionately, his tongue searching the sweetness of Blair's mouth again and again. Finally, he was satisfied, and he turned his head to the side, letting his mouth wander slowly across his Guide's jaw to whisper quietly in his ear, his voice cracking and betraying the emotion behind the simple words.

"I belong to you, Blair, I always have."

His Guide let out a short sob, and wrapped his arms fiercely around his neck. Anchoring himself to Jim's body, he dropped passionate, feverish kisses over his throat and shoulders. "Oh God, me too. I love you. I love you so much, Jim." He was trying not to cry, but he didn't think it was going to work.

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you... it's okay." Jim rolled them over to their sides, hugged his Guide close to his body, trying to shelter him from the overpowering emotions.

Slowly, Blair regained control of the turmoil inside him. When he realized that Jim was touching him, he held very still, afraid that if he did anything to return the caresses Jim might realize what he was doing and balk. Jim's hand was stroking slowly up and down his body. Slow, repeated caresses that touched him from his collar bone to his navel. When Jim's hand brushed lightly over his cock Blair moaned softly, and whispered encouragement. "Touch me. Oh please, Jim, hold me in your hand, let me feel you."

Blair groaned out loud, pushing his face into Jim's chest when he felt the warm brush of Jim's fingertips over his cock. "Yeah..." He closed his eyes, letting himself melt under the exquisite touch for a a few perfect seconds. "Mmm, you gotta stop, too good. I'll come."

Jim's laughter was a deep, throaty chuckle. "Isn't that pretty much the point here Chief?"

"Not yet..." Blair argued, moaning. "I want you in my mouth first."

"Oh God Chief..."

Blair was moving down his body, pressing hard, passionate kisses to his chest and stomach. Jim felt each touch of his Guide's mouth like a brand. The hot, searing kisses literally took his breath away, until he had to fight for air. Blair's soft, hungry lips had reached his groin. He was pressing wet, sucking kisses all around the base of his cock and the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.

"Blair... Oh Jesus Blair, please... I can't take anymore, I can't..."

"Yes, you can. Take it easy, turn it down a little. Feel my mouth... good, now just ease that dial down a notch. You need this, I know you do. I do too. So bad. Talk to me, Jim, don't let yourself zone."

"Feels like heaven. I can feel the sound... the vibration, under my skin...it's like having you inside me.

"Open your eyes, I don't want you to zone." Blair's soft whisper over his cock was the most incredible thing he'd ever felt. Jim groaned when his nerves obeyed Blair's voice instinctually, and he was greeted by the sight of his Guide taking the head of his cock into his mouth. Blair looked like an angel, curled up between his legs, eyes shining up at him.

Blair's mouth closed around him as his hand reached up to interlock their fingers. "Stay with me." Blair's whisper was harsh, almost painful. Then he was enveloped into the wet, warm safety of his Guide. Vaguely, Jim felt his fingers crushing Blair's, and forced himself to concentrate, loosening the painful grip. Blair's curls brushed softly over his skin and he watched, amazed, as his Guide took him deeply into his throat, his mouth closing gently around him.

"Blair..." Jim groaned, lost in helpless, agonizing pleasure. The wet heat that held him felt like nothing he'd ever felt before, it was perfect. So absolutely perfect that when Blair tried to move, his hands flew to the sides of his head, begging him to stay. "Please, oh please, stay there."

"Mmm," Blair moaned around him in agreement and Jim thought he would die from the feel of it.

Blair held still, his only movements were the soft sucking motions of his throat as he worked Jim's cock. He could hear Jim moaning and gasping, the sounds surrounding him. Every time he made love to Jim he felt more connected, closer to him, more a part of him.

"More," Jim gasped. "I need more Blair. I can't get close enough to you. I want more of you."

"Okay...okay, wait."

Blair lifted himself off Jim's pulsing cock long enough to flip himself around on the bed. He lay down again, and this time the angle made it easy to take Jim deeply into his throat, until his lips were pressed tightly to the base and Jim was totally engulfed in his mouth. They were both still on their sides, but now he was upside down, so that his cock was in easy reach of Jim's mouth.

"Take me in your mouth, it's okay. Just follow my lead." Blair coaxed.

Jim's head was filled with Blair's scent as he moved slowly towards the hard cock being offered to him. He thought he should feel strange or awkward, but all he wanted was more of his Guide. He reached out and took Blair's rigid cock carefully in his hand. Without thinking his tongue flicked out for a tentative lick. It just tasted like Blair. Jim was surprised that he wasn't disgusted, but he wasn't, not at all. He was intensely, almost painfully excited.

Blair let out a high pitched moan around his cock when he touched him with his tongue, and Jim moved closer, deciding he liked both the sound and the feel of Blair's pleasure even more that the things they'd done before. Just as he was about to repeat the motion, Blair lifted his mouth off his cock to ask in a whisper, "Do I taste really weird to you?"

"No." Jim took the head of Blair's cock into his mouth, sucking softly, as Blair had done. He released him quickly, intrigued and a little surprised by what it felt like. Satiny smooth, and hot, a pulse he could feel under his tongue. Utterly Blair. "You taste incredible."

"Oh my god, Jim."

Jim smiled wolfishly, deciding he liked that reaction even better. Experimentally, he flicked his tongue back and forth rapidly over the oozing tip. Blair's response was to dive onto his cock, burying him deep in his throat. Blair was doing things with his tongue that made it almost impossible to concentrate on what he was trying to do. He was about to zone on the pleasure when Blair's hard cock jerked in his mouth, begging for attention.

Jim drew a little more of Blair's cock into his mouth, sucking gently. Little by little, he took Blair into his throat. It was very strange, and a little awkward, the hard flesh in his mouth seemed much more alive than it did when he held it in his hand. He was suddenly aware of how a woman could feel threatened by an erect penis, it was something he'd never understood, but now he did. Blair didn't try to choke him, though, he stayed still and let Jim do whatever he wanted, moaning encouragement every time he came up for air. Slowly, Jim began to mirror Blair's motions, and when he relaxed, and let the hard cock slide all the way down his throat, he felt as if they were fusing together, becoming one throbbing, pulsing wave of pure pleasure. The orgasm that tore through him and seemed to make a complete circle, a current of energy that ran from his cock, buried in Blair's throat, through his Guide and back into him through Blair's shuddering climax in his mouth. The taste that washed over his tongue made him dizzy with tingling, melting satisfaction. He let his head fall onto Blair's thigh, unwilling to let go of his prize.

Blair held him for another incredible, perfect moment, and then he released him gently, flipping himself around after pulling out of Jim's mouth. Crawling back up to his shoulder, Blair touched his Sentinel's face lightly.

"Are you okay? Did you like that?" His whisper was wonderfully intimate, and Jim wrapped his arms around his Guide, hugging him to his chest as tightly as he dared.

"Very much. It was incredible."

There was long, contented silence, while they lay exhausted in each other's tight embrace. Finally, Jim sighed, and pressed his lips to Blair's temple.

"Chief...can I ask you something?"

It wasn't much more than a whisper. Blair opened his eyes, trying to yank his brain back from the edge of sleep. "Yeah?"

"Do you think this would have happened a long time ago, if I hadn't have been so...If I hadn't been such an asshole?"

"Um, no, I don't think so. Not like this, anyway. We had to go through all that crap to get here. It's karma Jim."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

Blair picked his head up, using Jim's shoulder as an anchor to pull himself up to his lips. Kissing him softly, he pressed his forehead to Jim's, shaking his head slowly against the larger man's brow. "Nope."

"That's good, because I... I need you, like this. I don't know how the hell I lived without it before... I really don't."

"Shh, it's okay, I need you too. Don't worry, everything's going to be alright."

Blair curled himself up around the big, warm body, his arms slipping under Jim's to pull him closer. His last thought before drifting off to sleep was that whatever Jim and Duncan had talked about, it had done his Sentinel a world of good.

Part 29

By Zen&nancy

Joe called out a familiar welcome as Duncan stepped into the empty bar. Methos looked up from the table where he sat, with a small smile of greeting.

"Hey Mac, good to see you! Scotch?"

"That would be great, Joe. How are you?" Duncan smiled at his old friend.

"Oh, I'm good, gettin' this place ready for Christmas. You and Blair get a tree?"

"Yeah, we did. Three, actually." Duncan accepted the glass of Glenmorangie offered him, turning around at the bar to greet the other Immortal.

"Three seems to be the lucky number." Methos murmured, then he smiled, and spoke in a more friendly tone. "You're looking well, Mac."

"Thanks, you too. How have you been, Methos?" Duncan swept his gaze up and down his friend with the protective, anxious expression Methos knew so well.

"No trouble. I've been in Germany, working in a library. I saw Amanda last year, she came to Munich and stayed with me for a few days."

"What was she there to steal? Diamonds or a man?" Duncan asked, and they laughed together at the truth of it. Their laughter was only slightly strained, and to Joe's refined and listening ear it seemed to him that these two wanted very much to be able to share their laughter, but that neither was quite sure of the possibility.

"It's going to be good to have everybody home for the holidays again. Mac, what did you tell me Blair's bringing to dinner on Christmas?" Joe came around the bar with a beer for himself and a fresh one for the old man, dropping down heavily into the empty chair at their table.

"Noodle kugel," Duncan answered him, still studying the friend he hadn't seen in too many years. Methos looked good, less burdened than the last time they'd talked. Duncan hadn't forgotten that it was he who had taken the smile from the old man's face. He hadn't had any idea what Methos was losing in Byron. It wasn't until the poet's Quickening, and with it his memories, were coursing through his body that he knew that Byron and Methos had been more than friends, they'd been lovers of great passion.

"What the hell is that?" Joe's question brought him back, and Duncan smiled. "It's a kind of noodle pudding. With soft cheese, sort of sweet. It's good."

"Okay, noodle pudding's covered." Joe conceded, shrugging his shoulders at Methos when the old man raised his eyebrows as if to ask if this were a necessary part of Christmas dinner.

"What are you bringing, Methos?" Duncan drank his scotch, letting the fiery liquid slide slowly across his tongue. He exhaled with pleasure as the warmth of the drink spread through him and set his glass down on the small table.

"Beer," Methos smiled at him, and Duncan felt some of the tension lesson between them.

"You can't bring beer. This is bar, or haven't you noticed?" Duncan teased, trying to pull the old man's pint away from it's spot in front of him. Methos prevented him, a strong grip closing around his wrist. "Unhand my beer, barbarian. I'm not bringing just any beer, this was made for me in India last summer. It's special."

"Hmm, what do you think, Joe?" Duncan looked to Dawson in mock seriousness, "Shall we accept this special beer? Or is it just a ploy to drink the rest of your stock while we're all swilling this Indian stuff?"

Joe laughed, shaking his head. "We'll take it. As much as you all drink, we're gonna need all the extra we can get."

"Alright then, Indian beer and noodle kugel it is." Duncan smiled at his friends in contentment, thinking that it was very good indeed to be sitting here in the old way, with the three of them sharing the coziness of Joe's empty tavern.

"Is the Sentinel coming to the party?" Methos asked mildly, not surprised when Duncan's reply held a touch of defensiveness.

"Of course. His name is Jim Ellison."

"So he said. What's he doing in Seacouver?"

"Blair decided it would be best if Jim came to live in the building with us. So far it's working very well."

"Because Blair wants it to?" Methos questioned softly, and this time there was a definite tone of antagonism in his words.

"No, because all three of us want it to. Is that so hard to believe?" Duncan answered, trying, unsuccessfully, to keep the words from seeming defensive.

"No, no, of course it's not. It's just the last thing I expected of you, Mac. You'll forgive me for being a little bit surprised by your choices."

Duncan sighed deeply, and drank the last of his scotch. When he set the empty glass down, his gaze didn't meet Methos' piercing eyes, but rather wandered about the room as he spoke.

"Methos... I love him. He makes me happy. Happier than I've been in a long time. Jim is a good friend, and an honorable one as well. Would you deny me this?"

Methos stood abruptly from the table, and for a moment Joe was sure that he would leave, but it was only to go back to the bar for a refill.

"No, Highlander, I would deny no one happiness, surely you deserve it more than most of us. I just hope you know what you're getting into with them."

"I do."

"Okay. Want to tell me about it?" Methos' intense, searching gaze moved over his features, and Duncan felt himself putting up his defenses before he knew why.

"What is there to tell? I love him, he has a responsibility to Jim that I don't want to force him to deny, and we're dealing with it one day at a time. What is wrong with that?"

"That's the second time you've asked me." Methos spoke very softly, the weight of the words implying more than he said.

Duncan exhaled noisily in exasperation. "If you didn't think that there was anything wrong with the situation, you wouldn't be questioning me about it. What's your concern, that he'll leave me for Jim? That's very unlikely."

"No, I'm not worried about that. Blair seems very devoted to you." Methos' eyes squinted into their familiar crinkle, but Duncan couldn't tell if it was in mocking humor or annoyance. Why would it bother Methos that Blair was devoted to him?

"I hope so." Duncan gave the old man his best smile, and hoped that it would be enough to table the subject for a time. If Methos wasn't going to explain himself, then he'd just assume move on to other topics.

It was. The old man nodded, agreeing without words to let the matter drop, and the conversation moved on to the kind of gossip the three friends enjoyed most. Who was hunting who, who was hiding, who had changed their name and took on a new identity, and why. They talked all afternoon, the time passing as quickly as the level of beer in Methos' glass. When the Mike, the bartender that helped Joe out in the evenings showed up for work, Duncan took his leave of his friends, saying that it was his turn to cook at the dinner at the loft. Methos watched him go, and Dawson watched him watching Duncan, a thoughtful look of concern on his grizzled face.

"Blair. Blair, honey, wake up. Duncan's back." Jim's hand shook his Guide's shoulder gently.

"Hmm... Duncan? Good." Blair smiled sleepily, opening his eyes. Jim's words registered in his mind, and a wide grin spread across his face. "Hey- you just called me honey."

Jim chuckled, reaching to pull Blair close. "You got me, Chief, red handed. You mind?"

"Mm-mm. 'S nice." Blair answered, still not quite awake. He pushed his face into Jim's bare chest and nuzzled there, his lips pressing soft, repeated caresses to the spot just above his left nipple.

"Good. Now get up, he doesn't need to find us in bed every time he goes out and comes back," Jim mumbled, trying to hold himself away from the pleasure of Blair's soft lips on his skin.

Blair laughed, unable to deny the fact that they seemed to end up in bed together every time they were alone for more than a few minutes. "It's okay, he understands. Don't worry about it. We should get up, though, we've got lots of stuff to do tonight."

"Yeah? What?" Jim rolling to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, reaching for his pants.

"Well, we gotta get the games and the tables for the food all set up downstairs for the party tomorrow, and Spencer said he was gonna come over to help, so we should probably feed him dinner for his trouble."

"It's Duncan's night to cook," Jim pointed out, pulling his shirt over his head.

"I know, but we can help." Blair argued. Pouncing across the bed, he wrapped himself around Jim's back, his arms going around his shoulders. He laughed joyously when Jim stood up, carrying him with him.

"Is that the only way to get you out of my bed, professor?" Jim teased, reaching around to his back to pinch his Guide's naked rear.

"Ouch! Okay, okay, I'll get dressed, man. No need to resort to violence here." Jim laughed, shaking his head, and Blair released his tight hold, sliding down Jim's back to find his clothes where they'd been thrown, on the other side of the bed.

Jim waited for Blair to finish dressing, watching his Guide with a mixture of pride and affection. When they were both fully clothed again, Jim took Blair's hand, drawing him towards the door. The lift creaked to a halt at the end of the hall just as Jim was locking the door behind them.

Duncan wasn't surprised when he found the loft empty, he almost expected it. It made him feel good that he wasn't jealous of Jim and Blair's relationship. This brought his mind back to Methos' questions about his relationship with Blair and Jim. What was the old man getting at anyway? It didn't make sense that Methos would be upset about Duncan having a man for a lover, after 5000 years those things couldn't possibly matter to Methos, could they? Duncan shook his head and decided to put it out of his mind, for now. He hung up his coat and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt and then took the elevator down to get Blair and Jim. They had to get the Dojo ready for the party tomorrow.

Just as he pulled up the gate he heard Jim and Blair coming out of Jim's apartment. He smiled when he saw them. Jim was smiling and Blair looked a little rumpled, and for some reason it made Duncan feel good. Maybe it was just because they were all happy. Their lives finally seemed to be calming down, everyone finding their place.

"Hi Duncan." Jim put a hand on Duncan's arm as he got in the elevator.

"Hey handsome." Blair stood on the other side of Duncan and squeezed his hand.

"Hello to both of you." Duncan smiled. "Did you have a good afternoon?"

"Yeah, great. How was your drink with Adam?" Blair wondered.

"It was good. You guys ready to set up for the party?"

"Yup." Jim rocked back on his heels. "I can't believe Christmas is the day after tomorrow. It really sneaked up on us."

"Snuck." Blair corrected automatically.

"That's not right." Jim argued, looking to Duncan for help. "Is it?"

Duncan laughed shaking his head. "Don't look at me. I'm lucky if I can keep up on slang, let alone grammar."

"No, it's snuck." Blair insisted, shaking his head earnestly at Jim, who rolled his eyes.

"Did you say suck?" Duncan teased, grabbing Blair and pulling him to his chest to suck on his neck.

"No, I didn't... Mmm, well, maybe I did..." Blair mumbled, laughing and squirming.

"Catch!" Duncan called out, laughing, and grabbed Blair around the waist, tossing him across the lift to Jim.

Jim's caught Blair just as the lift reached the first floor, and the impact made them all bounce a little. "See, mom always said, don't throw Blair in the house," Blair mumbled crossly, and Jim burst into laughter, hugging his Guide to him tightly for a moment before putting him down.

Duncan didn't get Blair's joke, but he smiled, watching the joy in Jim's face. It was good, to see him happy. Perhaps he was foolish, to be thinking of he and Jim and Blair as a family, but he couldn't help it. The idea connected with a longing in him that never went away, the memories of the days when he and Tessa and Richie had all lived together, and life was ordered and happy.

Jim pulled the gate, and Blair went to turn the lights on. For a moment, all three of them stood still, looking around in approval at the transformation they had made. The big room was empty, save for the huge tree at one end, and the garland and paper decorations they'd hung all around the walls. The decorations glittered and sparkled under the bright lights, it was pretty, and festive, and to Duncan it felt more like home than it ever had before.

The evening passed quickly, spent setting up tables and draping plastic table cloths, deciding which games would be played where, and stacking the presents all around the big tree. Spencer had called at the last minute, apologizing and begging off for the evening. His girlfriend had tickets for a concert, and she'd kept it a surprise. Duncan told him to go to the concert and enjoy himself, and to show up early the next day, in case there were any last minute things they'd forgotten. So the three of them spent the evening in busy harmony, readying the dojo for the party, and teasing back and forth about what they'd bought each other for Christmas.

"Okay, what next?" Jim asked as he finished setting up the last table.

Blair and Duncan both looked around the dojo. Everything seemed to in place and ready to go for tomorrow.

"I think we're done. Are we forgetting anything Duncan?" Blair asked as he started to gather up the garbage they had made.

"Nope, not that I can think of. What do you guys want for dinner?" Duncan looked to Jim.

"I don't know. It's your turn to cook. Whatever you make is always good." Jim really enjoyed Duncan's cooking. At first he'd been hesitant about it, thinking that a four hundred year old man could probably come up with some really weird dinners. The truth of it was that Blair's food was much stranger and more exotic than what Duncan usually cooked.

"C'mon guys," Blair headed for the elevator. "Let's figure out dinner upstairs."

Blair waited for Jim and Duncan to get in and then he pulled down the gate. "That went a lot faster han I thought it would, but man am I beat."

"It wasn't that bad. Besides, if you're tired now just think how you're going to feel after the party when we have to clean it all up." Jim smiled, enjoying teasing Blair.

Blair groaned.

The elevator stopped and Duncan lifted the gate, following Jim and Blair out. Blair went into the kitchen, pulling out one of two big pitchers on the top shelf. Taking three glasses down from the shelf, he poured a large glass for each of them. Duncan and Jim were talking about whether or not they should go running tomorrow morning, with so much to do before the party, when Blair interrupted them.

"Hey, guys, I made eggnog."

"Mm, that sounds good. Thank you." Duncan gave his lover a warm smile, coming over to the counter to take two of the goblets from Blair.

Duncan brought Jim his eggnog, he was still standing near the lift, unlacing his boots.

"Thanks, Duncan. Blair, tell me this isn't as deadly as last year."

"Almost." Came the musical reply from the kitchen. Blair was humming to himself, going over the list he'd made of things to do before the party. So far, they were right on track. The trays had to be picked up from the deli tomorrow, and the cookies from the bakery.

"This is delicious, Caro. It's not rum?" Duncan asked, enjoying the cold, rich flavor of the holiday drink.

"Nope. Amaretto. Rum's too sweet. This is the real thing." Blair told him, sipping his own glass and nodding in approval.

"It's good stuff, Chief." Jim told him, enjoying the smooth burn of the potent drink.

All three of them finished their first glass quickly, and Blair poured a second round while Duncan and Jim picked up a conversation they'd started downstairs in the dojo.

"But Mac, how are you gonna run a chimney through the center of a warehouse? You've got concrete pillars in here."

"I'll find someone who can do it." Duncan told him confidently, determined to give Blair a fireplace.

"They'll pull the whole damn building down." Jim told him, shaking his head.

They weren't really arguing, just taking either side of the debate for the sake of wrangling it between them. Blair watched from the kitchen, feeling a warmth spread through his insides that was only partially to be blamed on the egg nog. Duncan and Jim were friends. It was obvious, it would be plain to anyone that saw them together. Somehow, these two extraordinary men had managed to build a solid friendship, without any manipulation or coercion from him at all. Well, almost none. Maybe it was fate, Blair mused, thinking back over the first tension filled, nerve fraying month that they'd all spent together, and how quickly everything had smoothed out after that. After he and Jim had slept together. Blair smiled, and shook his head. It wasn't just that, not really. It only seemed like all had been right with the world from the first moment he and Jim had lay down together in Jim's bed. In truth, the new intimacy in their relationship raised as many problems and questions as it answered, but it didn't seem that way, because all three of them were trying so hard to make it right. Maybe it was because finally, they were all happy.

"Blair, what are you daydreaming about?" Jim called to him from the couch, and from the indulgent, gentle way he spoke Blair could tell that Jim was already a little drunk.

"Us, man, just us," Blair told him, coming around the counter to sit between them on the couch. His intense blue eyes moved back and forth between them, expressing his contentedness.

"And what has the professor concluded?" Jim asked, picking up one of Blair's hands from where it rested on his knee.

"We're doin' really good." Blair told him, smiling brilliantly when Duncan leaned over to press a kiss to his temple.

"I think you're on to something, kiddo." Duncan murmured, getting up to refill his glass.

Duncan filled his glass from the pitcher Blair had left on the counter, wandering back to the middle of the room. He was looking at the high ceiling, trying to imagine how it would look with a fireplace there. "Don't you think we could put it here, Jim?" Duncan asked, motioning with his hand to the space above him.

"No way, Mac, you've got to put it someplace where it's not going to cause any stress on the foundation. This is an old building, you're gonna bring it down on our heads. Over here, maybe."

Jim got up, going to stand just inside the living room space, near the lift. Duncan came over to where Jim was standing, shaking his head. "But you'll walk right into it when you get off the lift. We can't put it here."

"Hey! You have to kiss." Blair exclaimed, a wide smile spreading over his slightly ruddy face.

"Come and get it, Caro." Duncan teased back, opening his arms to his lover, still curled into the corner of the couch.

"No! Not me, silly. Each other. You're standing under the Mistletoe."

Jim looked up, and laughed. His Guide was right, he and Duncan were directly under the sprig of Mistletoe Blair had hung. Duncan laughed with him, and their eyes met.

"Come on, you have to! It's bad luck if you don't." Blair obfuscated, his mouth spread into a slightly lecherous grin.

Jim and Duncan were both still laughing at him, but their eyes were locked together, sharing mischief, and daring each other. Duncan felt a quick little spark of excitement run through him as Jim's big hands came down on his shoulders. He leaned forward, and pressed his lips hard to Jim's smiling mouth.

Jim stayed perfectly still, letting himself enjoy the novelty of Duncan's mouth pressing hard against his for a few brief seconds. Then something totally unexpected happened. All the air in his lungs went rushing out of him, and he almost dropped his eggnog. His hand curled tightly around the stem of the glass, and he felt something hard against his back, holding him up though the rush of inertia. Duncan's lips pressed harder, and Jim opened his mouth, no thought present in his brain whatsoever as his tongue thrust aggressively against Duncan's, pushing past full lips and sharp teeth.

Duncan's tongue mirrored his, and for a few seconds they wrestled and fought for dominance inside each other's mouths. Duncan pulled back first, eyes wide open and panting.

"Oh wow. Oh man," Blair breathed softly, frozen on the couch. He had expected a peck on the cheek maybe, or for Duncan and Jim to just joke around. He hadn't expected them to... to... suck face was the term that popped into his startled mind first. It was beautiful, they were beautiful.

"Jesus." Duncan still had his arms around Jim's back, he was stunned by his powerful reaction. When he took Blair's unspoken dare to kiss Jim he was just playing around, having fun. What the kiss had turned into was much too intense to be able to chalk it up to joking.

"Yeah, uh, too much egg nog maybe," Jim mumbled. His nerves were on fire, and he felt weird having this strong a reaction to Duncan's kiss. The fact that he'd kissed back with such passion had him very confused. Up until now he'd been able to tell himself that what went on between him and Blair was different, it was a Sentinel/Guide thing. Now what?

Duncan's hand left his back, but he didn't move. Duncan was still staring directly into his eyes, surprise giving way to embarrassment. It made him feel just a little bit more stable, to know that Mac was almost as thrown as he was.

"That was interesting." Duncan gave him a wide smile, cocking his head to the side with a quick shrug of his shoulders.

Jim laughed, and shook his head. "I don't know what you call that, Duncan."

"Incredibly fuckin' gorgeous?" Blair suggested from the couch, which made Jim roll his eyes, which made Duncan start to laugh again, and the tension disappeared.

"No comments from the peanut gallery." Duncan told his lover, still grinning at Jim.

Blair watched as they stood and stared at each other for a moment longer, and then Jim turned to go sit back down on the couch. He watched his lover and his Sentinel carefully, trying to figure out exactly what was going on between them. The possibility of Duncan being attracted to Jim hadn't even occurred to him, let alone Jim being interested in Duncan. It created so many questions Blair felt like he didn't even know which one to think about first. He wasn't jealous, that was about the only thing he did know for certain. Watching Jim and Duncan kiss like that had only triggered one response from him; arousal.

"So, we still haven't figured out what to eat for dinner." Duncan changed the subject as he went back to the kitchen. His heart was still pounding from the effects of that kiss, and it made him feel very strange to think that Jim could hear it. Why had he reacted to Jim like that? As soon as his mouth was on Jim's his brain shut off and his hormones took over, but why? Maybe it had something to do with Blair, or maybe he had deeper feelings than he realized when it came to Jim Ellison.

"How 'bout we just make some sandwiches?" Blair suggested, smiling broadly at Duncan from the couch. Clearly, his lover was enjoying his confusion.

"Sandwiches are fine by me." Jim was glad that Blair wasn't going to try to analyze the hell out of the kiss. He was happy to just leave it be, for now.

"C'mon Chief, lets go give him a hand." Jim said as he got up from the couch.

Blair just sat there and started clapping, and giggling.

"Very funny Blair, ha-ha." Duncan laughed at his lover. "I think you've had too much egg nog on an empty stomach."

Blair pulled himself together and joined them in the kitchen. "Hey, I am totally willing to concede to the possibility that I may be a little tipsy, but you two are the ones who just went for it like it was the last song at the Junior prom.

"Sandburg, there is a very, very thin line between teasing and asking for it, and you, my friend, are crossing that line with no thought to the consequences." Jim's tone was joking, but from the look that went with his words Blair could tell that he was indeed walking on very thin ice.

"We're entitled. There's nothing wrong with celebrating a little early. It's almost Christmas," Duncan defended them, offering Jim an excuse without actually speaking of what had just happened.

"And almost your Birthday," Jim reminded him, getting bread and roast beef out of the refrigerator.

"Aye, four hundred and eight. Do you think I'm too old for him?" Duncan asked, coming up behind Blair to wrap his arms around him, grinning at Jim.

"Now I know you've had too much egg nog." Blair smiled up at Duncan, rubbing the back of his head against his chest. "Here, eat." Blair pushed the first sandwich into Duncan's hand, ripping a paper towel off the roll on the counter for him.

"Why? Because I'm admitting my age?" Duncan asked, taking a big bite of his sandwich.

"No, because you get all Scottish when you get drunk. Here Jim," Blair handed over another sandwich and started on one for himself.

"No I don't."

"Aye, MacLeod, you do." Jim laughed, trying to mimic Duncan's thickening accent.

Duncan just laughed at him, and shook his head. "That's awful! You don' even sound Irish, let alone Scottish. Give it up, Jim."

Duncan wandered into the living room with his sandwich, flopping down on the couch with his legs draped over the arm. "What are we going to do tonight?" Duncan asked.

Blair bit his lip, just in time. The first words that came to his mind were "I have a creative suggestion", definitely on the wrong side of Jim's line, and maybe even Duncan's. His eyes wandered around the room, searching for inspiration, and came to the stack of his board games on the shelves.

"We could play Scrabble."

"I don't know if I have the brains for Scrabble right now, Chief, but if you really want to, I'll give it a shot."

"It doesn't matter, Jim, he's going to slaughter us anyway. I think the best strategy is to try to play defensively."

"You can't play Scrabble defensively." Blair argued, going to the shelves to get the box down.

"Just watch me, professor," Duncan promised, grinning back at him.

They settled around the coffee table, Jim on the sofa and Blair sitting cross-legged on the floor. Duncan moved to his chair, clearing the table's clutter to give them room to play.

"No way, man, that is so not a word." Blair protested, one finger pointing to the half filled board.

Duncan was drinking, he swallowed his egg nog, shaking his head vehemently.

Before he could talk, Jim came to his defense. "Hold on, Sandburg, if you challenge him, you have to look it up. Now if you're right he loses his turn, but if he's right, you lose those points. You sure you want to take a risk on azoth? That's a hell of a lot of points, he's on a triple word score."

Blair hesitated for a moment, and then he puffed out his chest, frowning at Jim. "He's wrong, it's not a word. I'm positive."

"Okay Darwin, you're gonna be really sorry if you're wrong." Jim got up a little unsteadily, going to the bookshelves for the big dictionary.

Duncan sat back in his chair, smiling at Blair with sparkling eyes. He knew he was right, and that this score would give him a chance of catching Blair's early lead. He loved being competitive with his lover. He did want to win, but half the pleasure was watching Blair so happy and excited and full of life.

Jim interrupted his thought, obvious pleasure in his voice. "You're out of luck, Chief, it's a word." His finger marked his place in the dictionary, open on his knees.

"No way. Damn! Okay, what does it mean?" Blair stamped his foot, shaking his head in disbelief. "No wait, let Duncan tell us. If he doesn't know what it means he can't use it."

"It's another word for alchemy, Caro, it comes from a magical formula called Paracelsus' remedy. The english word is descended from the arabic word for mercury, I believe, which is az-zauq."

"Too bad you can't use that, it'd be almost double the points," Jim told him, enjoying Duncan's victory.

"I don't believe you, Duncan. No, I mean, I do, it's just that you amaze me."

"I think it's great, Chief, I like watching you get outsmarted once in a while." Jim laughed at the look Blair shot him, turning his concentration back to his letters. He made "zone" out of Duncan's z, smiling ruefully at the joke of it as he laid down his letters.

They played out the game, and Blair won, although Duncan was only three points behind him. Blair claimed a victory kiss from Duncan, nipping his lower lip playfully.

"Good game guys." Jim stood up and stretched, flexing his arms behind him so his back cracked.

They put the game away and Blair poured out the last of the egg nog into their glasses. Then he walked around the loft turning off all the lights except for the ones on the Christmas tree. The glow from the tree filled the room, the light soft and warm. Blair paused by the door to survey the room, smiling. "This is perfect." He told them quietly, and he could tell from the way Jim and Duncan smiled back at him that they both agreed.

The three of them settled into the couch and Duncan picked up the remote. Blair was sitting in the middle, as he usually did, but tonight he was making the most of it. He leaned his back against Jim's side and put his feet up in Duncan's lap, a satisfied, slightly gluttonous smile on his face. This was heaven, the best Christmas present he could get this year, Blair thought, snuggling in between the two men he adored. Four glasses of egg nog caught up to him and he was asleep in a matter of minutes.

"How does he get away with this?" Jim asked Duncan ruefully, keeping his voice down just the same. Blair's head was pushed into his shoulder, only the mop of curls visible, and one arm was tucked around his neck. The rest of him was in Duncan's lap, feet curled under the couch cushion for warmth.

Duncan chuckled, "It's a talent."

"Yeah, I guess it is," Jim started to smile, but it turned into a yawn.

They sat together watching the news, not talking so as not to disturb Blair. Both Duncan and Jim adored the feeling of Blair curled up asleep against them, and neither wanted to disturb the peaceful happiness that surrounded them.

Duncan shifted contentedly under Blair's weight, angling his body into the corner of the couch more comfortably. He glanced over to Blair's head on Jim's shoulder, and smiled when he saw that Jim had fallen asleep, his temple resting against the side of Blair's head. Jim looked so content that Duncan didn't want to wake him.

It was good, to be sprawled on the couch with Blair in the middle, and if he woke them up they would have to decide who Blair was sleeping with. He didn't want to lose him tonight, the warm weight of Blair on top of him was too wonderful. Duncan pondered the comfortable, secure feeling of drifting off to sleep together, and he realized he didn't want Jim to leave, either. He fell asleep with his arm curled around Blair's denim covered thighs, the other stretched out across the back of the couch in the space between he and Jim, one finger twisted in a trailing curl.

Stabbing pain in his arm woke Duncan a little over an hour later. There was a crick in his neck and as he became more awake he realized that his left leg was also asleep. Groaning, he tried to move his suffering limbs and found that his legs were completely trapped by Blair's body.

Squeezing Blair's thigh he tried to wake him up. "C'mon Blair, wake up. I've got to move this leg kiddo, it's asleep."

"So am I," Blair mumbled, snuggling deeper into Jim's warmth.

"Mmm, what?" Jim woke up a bit confused. Ever since his senses had gone haywire he tried not to drink too much, and he had definitely had too much egg nog. "Aw damn, we fell asleep on the couch."

"Caro, you have to move, I can't feel my leg. Jim, will you move him?" Duncan squinted at Jim, remembering that Jim could see him perfectly well in the dark.

Jim grinned sleepily at Duncan's pained look and wrapped one arm around Blair's ribs, pulling him off Duncan's lap and into his own.

"Ah! Thank you." Duncan kneaded his thigh for a few seconds, looking up at Jim and shaking his head. "I can never figure out how he can be that heavy."

"Mmf," Blair protested, pushing his face into Jim's shoulder as he resettled himself.

"Come on, wake up Chief."

"Why?" Blair demanded crossly, burrowing deeper into Jim's neck.

"So we can all go to bed," Jim told him reasonably, rolling Blair off his lap and into the space between him and Duncan. "You can't use us for a mattress all night, you're putting Duncan's leg to sleep and I can feel the knots forming in my back."

Duncan laughed at that, his own back cracking as he stretched over the back of the couch. Jim gave Blair a quick squeeze, inhaling the scent of his guide deeply as he pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"Decide where you're sleepin', Chief, cause I'm going to bed," Jim told him, getting to his feet.

Blair frowned, grabbing for his hand to keep he from leaving. "No. I don't wanna lose you."

"It's okay, Caro..." Duncan murmured, trying to hide the disappointment he felt.

"No, man, come on. This is stupid. That is a huge bed, why can't we all just crawl under the covers and go back to sleep? It was so nice sleeping here on the couch, I was cozy."

"Blair-" Jim and Duncan both spoke at once, sounding cautious and slightly aggravated. Both of them were tired and wanted to go to bed.

"Come on, guys, please? Don't make me decide who I have to give up tonight, okay? It's almost two a.m., we've got, what, another four hours of sleep coming?"

"It is big bed, Jim, and I really don't mind if you don't," Duncan relented, shrugging his shoulders expressively.

"Blair... do you really feel that way?" Jim asked seriously, more awake now and worried by Blair's choice of words.

"Oh man, not really. Well, yeah... tonight I do. I don't know, I'm not awake. Just come to bed, please, Jim?"

"You should, Jim, there's plenty of room," Duncan told him quietly, leaving them to go to the bathroom.

"I'll sleep in the middle. You can have my pillow." Blair looked up at Jim, still holding the larger man's hand in his grip.

Jim rolled his eyes at Blair's outrageous puppy dog eyes, but he relented. The idea of sleeping in Duncan's bed did make him uncomfortable, inspite of Duncan's assurance that it was fine with him. He was still a little drunk and he was very tired. He didn't have the brain power or the stamina to argue with Blair about it, and the closest bed sounded like an easy solution.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope." Blair shook his head, curls flopping across his face.

"Fine Sandburg, I'm too tired to argue about it." Jim was already walking towards the bed. "But this is a one time deal here, Chief, so don't go getting any ideas."

Blair smiled smugly. "Okay."

Duncan came out of the bathroom in sweat pants, grinning at Jim. He was lying on the far edge of the mattress, arms folded over his chest. He was still wearing his t-shirt, and although he was under the covers, Duncan guessed he'd probably left his jeans on too.

"Good, he talked you into sleeping up here," Duncan commented as he got under the covers on his side.

Blair had taken the bathroom after Duncan. Jim listened to the sound of Blair brushing his teeth. The sound was such a familiar comfort that it put him at ease, and he relaxed, turning on his side to face Duncan with his head propped up on his hand.

"You're right, this is an enormous bed." Jim grinned at Duncan across the space between them, easily twice as wide as Blair.

"Yeah, it is. What time should I set the alarm for?" Duncan rolled over to set the alarm.

"Six." Jim yawned, reaching for Blair's pillow and tucking it under his head.

Blair came out of the bathroom in his boxers. He took his time crawling over Duncan to get to the middle of the bed, turning it into a rather awkward full body hug. Finally, he rolled over Duncan to flop between them, looking silently from one to the other and grinning from ear to ear.

"Happy, chief?" Jim grumbled good naturally, while Duncan chuckled.

"Yeah, totally happy. Thank you, both of you." Blair turned over on his side, his back to Jim, and gave Duncan a loud, happy kiss. "Goodnight, Duncan."

"Goodnight, Caro, don't get squished."

Blair held the covers up to flip over beneath them, and gave Jim an equally enthusiastic goodnight kiss, which Jim tried to resist but gave in to at the last minute.

"Goodnight, Jim," Duncan called softly from the other side of the bed, reaching to turn off the small light on the beside table.

"G'night Mac." Jim answered, turning over onto his side, his back to Blair. He thought that it was because it was his habit to sleep on his right side, but maybe it was also because having Duncan sleeping on the other side of Blair seemed a little too intimate in the dark.

Behind him, Blair spooned himself into his back, his knees coming up to tuck under Jim's. His guide giggled, whispering, "Goodnight John-boy."

Jim chuckled, Duncan only sighed, resigned to Blair's late night sillies, although he didn't get the joke.

Duncan turned onto his side as well, pulling the covers up gingerly over his shoulders. He was afraid he was pulling them off Jim, but he seemed to keep his share of the blankets. Curling up around Blair's warmth, Duncan nuzzled his nose into his lover's hair and thought about how glad he was that Blair was here tonight. His lover was right, it was cozy, and it was even better because none of them had to sleep alone. Duncan drifted off wondering what Methos would think of this particular situation.

Part 30

By Zen&nancy

Jim came awake feeling overheated and suffocated. He woke up a little more, and realized he had his face buried in his Guide's hair. His next awareness was of his hand, touching skin too smooth to be Blair's. His head was fuzzy, and he had the idea that if he opened his eyes the light would hurt. He was somewhere familiar, but not home. Duncan's house... Which would make the very smooth, tight skin under his palm Duncan's chest, not Blair's.

Jim groaned softly, and on the other side of bed, Duncan stirred a little under his hand. Jim's arm was stretched across Blair, who was sandwiched between them, his hand curled around Duncan's side. He felt the width of Duncan's ribs between his fingers, and the smooth, slightly oilier texture of his skin, and suddenly become very aware of the morning hard on pressing into the small of Blair's back.

They must have all turned over at some time during their sleep, Jim thought, remembering that he had fallen asleep on his other side, with his back to Blair and Duncan, and his Guide curled around his body. Now they were lying like three spoons in a drawer, his knees tucked up under Blair's thighs and his arm stretched across the two male bodies in front of him. Jim's brain seemed content to stay frozen in hangover haze, perfectly willing to deny that he was awake at all, and take life one painful sensation at a time. His head hurt, throbbing fiercely until he found the dial that turned it down a little, numbing the pounding headache. His eyes felt glued shut, and his mouth tasted bitter and acidic. The arm that wasn't wrapped around Duncan's chest was trapped under Blair's head, and totally numb.

"Are you awake?" Duncan asked softly, one hand coming up to touch the back of Jim's on his chest.

"No," Jim answered, dragging his arm back.

"Okay, I'm gonna turn off the alarm," Duncan whispered, already awake and thinking that a Sentinel with a hangover might be very much like a bear waking up from hibernation.

"Thank you," Jim groaned back, trying to retrieve his other arm, which Blair was using for a pillow.

"Shh!" Blair shushed them both harshly, pushing his face into the sheet when Jim took his arm away. "No talking. Coffee."

"I don't know how the hell you talked me into this, Blair." Jim growled quietly, flexing his arm and grimacing at the pins and needles that followed.

"Mmm, you know... If I wasn't so hung over, this could be a hell of a lot of fun," Blair mumbled, becoming more aware of the hard bodies on either side of him as he woke up. He wriggled experimentally, pushing back against the hard flesh nestled in his back, and then into Duncan, flexing his hips to rub his own hard cock against Duncan's ass.

Duncan's response was a happy, invitational little groan, Jim's was somewhat less accepting. "Blair," he rumbled, a clear warning in his voice.

"Does that mean I'm not going to get laid this morning?" Blair asked, mock innocently, laughing weakly when Duncan's hand moved behind his back to grope Blair quickly.

Jim was just about to get out of the bed, in spite of the embarrassment of a very obvious hard on, when his ears picked up the sound of metal chinking on metal, and light, unlabored breathing outside the door. "Shh! Someone's outside the door."

Duncan sat up in bed, shaking his head as the familiar tingle ran up his spine and into his brain. "It's okay, Jim, relax. It's probably Amanda or Richie." Even though he spoke words of reassurance, Duncan picked up his Katana from under the bed, just in case.

"Who?" Jim asked, sitting up as well and looking none too pleased about company.

"Helloo? Mac? Oh my!" Three pairs of squinted eyes stared back at Amanda, who was dressed in a short leather trench coat and boots with three inch heels, an expensive carry-on bag slung over her shoulder. "Duncan MacLeod, you've been busy..."

"Don't you people knock?" Jim asked crossly, crossing arms over his bare chest.

Duncan smiled, unable even in this situation to be less than a gracious host. "It's good to see you, Amanda. Make yourself at home."

"Hmm, it looks a little crowded, but it could be lots of fun." Amanda's huge, mischievous eyes roamed over all the bare skin in sight.

"Immortal central, Joe wasn't kidding. Hi, I'm Blair. I'm the boyfriend. This is Jim." Blair decided to take charge of this situation before it could get out from under him, as the last meeting of Duncan's Immortal friend's had. He turned to his lover, giving him a kiss that pushed him back down on the bed, making sure Duncan remembered his promise before releasing him. He rolled over Duncan to the floor, standing up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Now I know why Duncan looks so happy," Amanda couldn't resist murmuring at the sight of the compact, muscular body and hugely tented boxers.

Blair blushed deeply, but rolled his eyes, and grinned back at the lovely, catty Immortal. "Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll be right back."

Amanda watched him walk the short distance to the bathroom, a wide smile spreading across her appealing mouth. She turned back to Duncan and his remaining bed mate, but before she could speak Jim held up one large, commanding hand. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and then spoke quietly, wincing at the sound of his own voice.

"Duncan, I'll be downstairs. It's a pleasure to meet you." He added, only a trace of sarcasm in his scratchy voice.

"Likewise." Amanda murmured quietly, earning a small smile of thanks from the buff, obviously hung over man. He was a magnificent specimen, in any condition, Amanda decided, eyeing Jim's well developed biceps.

Jim was about to get out of bed and escape to his apartment when he stopped, turning back to look at Duncan again. He wanted to say something, but he didn't have the slightest idea what, especially in front of this very bright, bawdy woman. "I think I'm going to have to wimp out on you this morning, I can't run. I'm gonna go downstairs and try to be alive in time for the party."

Duncan gave him a reassuring and sympathetic smile, telling him "Go back to bed, get some more sleep. We'll come get you before the kids get here."

"Deal." Jim pushed himself slowly out of Duncan's bed, nodding silently to Amanda as he passed her on his way to the door.

Duncan watched him leave, wondering how Jim was really feeling about spending the night in his bed. Blair came out of the bathroom wrapped in his robe, looking no more awake than he had when he'd crawled out of bed. He shuffled directly to the coffee pot, reaching for the filter basket as he asked, "Jim go downstairs?" Squinting at his lover across the room.

"Yeah, I told him to go back to bed, get some more sleep." Duncan smiled at Blair, who nodded, counting coffee spoons.

"Amanda, do you want some coffee?"

"That would be lovely, thank you." Amanda gave Blair a dazzling smile, setting her bag down near the couch and coming to stand at the counter next to him.

"I'm going to take a shower, Caro." Duncan finally crawled out from under the blankets, hoping to escape to the bathroom.

"Coward," Blair called, grinning at Duncan when Amanda laughed in obvious agreement.

"I'll be right back." Duncan told them, grabbing clothes from his dresser before retreating to the safety of a shower.

"So how long and have you and Duncan been together?" Amanda asked Blair directly, watching him put together a cup of coffee for himself.

"Mm, little over six weeks." Blair gave Amanda a broad smile over his coffee mug.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." Blair set his mug down, smiling. "Seems like a lot longer. I guess it doesn't really matter, I mean, when you're madly in love, and you just know, then time is sorta superficial."

"Yes, of course it is," Amanda told him sweetly, accepting her own cup and following Blair over to the couch.

Blair drank his coffee quickly, trying to catch up to this morning. He'd expected Amanda to be beautiful, but in real life she was pretty and vivacious and very quick, with a sharp sense of humor and laughing brown eyes, that reminded him a little bit of Duncan's.

"Usually I'm flattered when men stare at me, but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be when it's my old flame's boyfriend doing the staring." Amanda leaned towards Blair on the couch, a sassy, conspiratorial smile playing on her lips.

Blair wiggled his eyebrows, and then he threw his head back and laughed. Duncan was hiding in the shower, Jim was hiding downstairs, and he was sitting on the couch drinking coffee and flirting with Duncan's 1,000 year old girlfriend. Well, if life was getting stranger, at least it seemed to be going towards the wacky side of weird, rather than the disastrous.

Making a tremendous effort, he got himself under control. "I'm sorry, Amanda, I'm not completely crazy, honest. This morning has just been a little more, complicated, than they usually are, and you know, I think you showing up just defused the whole situation. Thanks!"

"Mmm, I did notice that Duncan's bed was rather crowded. Jim is your..."

"Best friend." Blair filled in quickly. Realizing that it didn't answer the question, and opened his mouth to try to explain. Duncan saved him, coming out of the bathroom in his robe. He came to the them, dropping a kiss on Blair's head as he walked around the couch. Taking Amanda's hand, he pulled her to her feet and into a strong hug.

"Hi! I'm sorry you walked in on us. Have you and Blair been getting to know each other?"

"Oh yes, he's very charming. Let me look at you." Amanda pushed Duncan away to look him up and down, nodding in satisfaction. "You look happy." She gave him a genuine smile before it turned into a very familiar pout. "You might have called to tell me, though, Duncan. I broke off a very enjoyable liaison with a diplomat, just to come home for Christmas. If I'd have known you were madly in love, I'd have brought him with."

Amanda thought belatedly that this might not shed a very flattering light on Duncan, and turned to see if Blair was upset by her teasing. He was smiling, shaking his head at her behind Duncan's back. Amanda decided that Blair just might live up to her standards for Duncan MacLeod. It was a bit disappointing to come back to find him in love, but more than anything she did want Duncan to be happy, it was what they always wanted for each other. After two hundred years, they'd learned how to love one another and leave enough space for each of them to live their own lives. Duncan with a man was very, very interesting.

"So Blair, what do you do?" Amanda smiled sweetly, curious.

"I'm an anthropologist. I teach at the same university Duncan does." Blair smiled.

"Oh, is that how you met?"

"Basically."

Amanda saw the loving look that passed between Duncan and Blair and got the feeling that there was more. "I get the feeling that there's a story here. You'll have to tell me all about it over Christmas dinner. Now however, I think I better get to the hotel before I lose the room."

Blair shot Duncan a confused look, and Duncan explained.

"Amanda always makes a reservation at a hotel just in case I'm involved with someone when she breezes through my life." Duncan grinned, remembering how difficult it had been to get Amanda into this habit. "You should come back this afternoon for the Christmas party we're having in the dojo," he told Amanda.

Blair piped in. "It's for the neighborhood kids, it should be a lot of fun. Duncan's going to be Santa."

"Oh really? Well I can't miss that. What time?" Amanda asked, setting her coffee cup down on the table.

"Around two." Duncan got up to walk her to the door.

"Great, I'll see you boys then. It's a pleasure to meet you Blair." She shook Blair' hand and then got up. "Just remember, break his heart and I'll have to hunt you down and kill you."

She was smiling playfully when she said it, but Blair knew that it wasn't an idle threat. It made him feel good to know that she cared so much about Duncan. "Not a chance."

Duncan said goodbye and locked the door. He stood facing the closed door for a moment, his hand still on the lock, not so much thinking as simply feeling. Waking up to Amanda picking the loft's lock had become familiar, the distinctive feel of her quickening in his head, and then the sound of his door being breached, and high heels on his floor. Almost every time, he woke up smiling. So it was an unexpected, but welcome distraction from the experience of waking up in bed with his lover and another man, which wasn't familiar at all.

Duncan let himself remember, for just a moment, the strangeness and the pleasure of waking up under the weight of Jim's arm, the way his fingertips had grazed feather light over his chest, before he was really awake. He'd held himself completely still, his whole body focused on the barely felt sensation of Jim's fingertips brushing over his skin. Duncan shook himself out of his reverie, deciding that before anything else happened with this day, he needed to sit down and talk to Blair. How would Blair feel about his attraction to Jim? One thing that Duncan had noticed right away was that Blair was nearly as protective, and as territorial, over Jim as the Sentinel was with his Guide. Blair liked to tease Jim about his protective instincts, but he was nearly as protective of Jim himself.

Turning slowly from the door, Duncan met his lover's eyes across the room. They were bright, shining with his pleasure, which was so plainly expressed in his face that it made Duncan happy just to look at him. Blair held out a hand, motioning him across the room. "Come sit with me, Duncan."

When he came to sit down next to him, Blair stood, wrapping both arms around his lover's waist. "Thank you so much."

Duncan smiled down at the joy in Blair's eyes, cocking his head to the side. "For what, Caro?"

"For loving me."

"Of course I love you." Duncan dropped a kiss on his lover's forehead, concerned for a moment that what had happened between he and Jim yesterday had triggered some insecurity.

"Yeah, I know. It just makes me feel really good..." Blair pulled the tie on his robe to wrap the velour material around them both, pressing his naked body close to Duncan. "I mean, you just sent your incredibly gorgeous girlfriend, of what, two hundred years? to a hotel room, because you'd rather be with me. That makes me feel really good." Blair felt pure happiness rush through him as Duncan's strong arms tightened around him, his mouth coming down to claim his lips in a slow, passionate kiss.

"You're all I want, always. I'm in love with you, madly, hopelessly in love with you, Caro. I'm not ever going to let anyone or anything come between us. I want to spend every day with you, I want to have time to show you how happy you make me." Duncan stared into his lover's beautiful eyes as he spoke, wanting Blair to see for himself how happy he was, and how deeply he was loved.

"I love you too." Blair squeezed Duncan back, hard, his hands moving possessively over his lover's muscles. "It's just really good to know that you'd rather be with me."

"Than anything," Duncan confirmed, his hands moving down Blair's back to his ass cheeks, pulling the deliciously naked body into his hips.

"Mmm... good," Blair sighed contentedly, turning his head to rest it on Duncan's shoulder.

"Sit down and talk to me a bit longer?" Duncan asked him quietly, guiding Blair backwards to sit on the couch with him. "I want to talk about Jim..."

"Okay," Blair encouraged softly, waiting to see if his lover would continue.

"What happened last night... With Jim... It wasn't just because we were drinking, I think it really started the day before, when we were sparring in the dojo."

"What happened?" Blair asked him curiously, picking up Duncan's hand to intertwine their fingers.

"Well, nothing happened... He knocked me off my feet and when I got back up I was... distracted, which is why he managed to break my nose."

"What do you mean, distracted?" Blair interrupted, his voice low and smooth, the same tone he used to coax information out of Jim.

"Well, I... I was looking at him, I guess," Duncan admitted hurriedly, looking away from Blair for the first time since they'd sat down.

"Okay... Well, he's nice to look at," Blair offered, not sure how Duncan felt about what he was telling him.

"Yeah, he is... Blair, how do you feel about this?" Duncan took his lover's hand, looking for help.

"I think I'm stuck halfway between confused and horny as hell. Can you tell me a little more about what "this" is?"

"I guess I'm not sure myself. I'm sorry... I'm not trying to be evasive, I'm just not very clear about how I really feel."

"Hey, it's okay. Look, we don't have to talk about this now, handsome. It's cool..."

"No, I want to," Duncan interrupted, lifting his shoulders and smiling at his lover helplessly. "I just don't know what to say."

"Okay, well, lets try and break this down a little. Start with the physical, we already have data there to work with. Okay, the kissing under the mistletoe thing... that was totally my fault. I was just kidding, but you did go with it. Do you know why?"

Duncan blushed, looking away from his lover's intense, loving eyes for a moment. "I was joking around too, until I was actually doing it... Then I wasn't."

"Yeah, I noticed that, Duncan. Was it just maybe, like, an alpha male thing? A dominance thing?"

"No. I don't know. You're confusing me, Caro. What do you mean?"

"Well, you and Jim have pretty much worked out the dominance thing as far as I'm concerned. I mean, we basically had to, like, establish equality, for this situation to work. So far, it is, it's working great, and you guys are really friends. You have a connection. Besides me, I mean. You balance each other out in ways I can't 'cause I'm just like, not there with the competitive thing, and the physical stuff. So, when it comes to your interrelations with me, it's cool, you both feel that you're on equal ground, but in your relationship with each other, that's not so clearly established."

"Okay, that makes sense... But how does that become a sexual thing?"

"It's totally sexual, Duncan. I mean, sex is at the center of this whole thing. If sex wasn't an issue between me and Jim, or between me and you for that matter, this would be an entirely different situation. There's a sexual bond going on here that I'm at the center of, but that doesn't mean that it's not going to enter into what goes on between you and Jim. I think it's sorta inevitable."

"Inevitable?" Duncan wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. What Blair was saying made sense to him. On an intellectual level, it was a very reasonable answer, but it wasn't what he really felt, at all. Taking Blair's hand back to hold between both of his, he gathered his thoughts, and tried to explain. "I understand what you're saying, about issues of confrontation and dominance being redirected into our friendship, instead of it being about you. It makes sense, but I don't feel like that's what's going on. I think maybe it comes out that way, on the surface, because as you say, it's a physical relationship. We run, we spar, we encourage each other through competition. I don't feel that way, though..."

"How do you feel, Duncan? How do you feel about Jim?" Blair prompted gently, taking a moment to be thankful that his lover was just as open and willing to talk about his feelings as Jim was closed and reticent.

"Protective... Empathetic. I have tremendous respect for him, he's a remarkable man. I guess I feel like we have a lot in common. Hyperactive senses and Immortality are both big secrets to keep, and I think I see some of myself in the ways he deals with his gift, the way it's changed him. It's something I can't help being attracted to... his abilities fascinate me. I think my Immortality is just as fascinating to him."

Blair nodded, getting up to refill his coffee cup. Coming back to Duncan with a mug for each of them, he sat cross legged next to his lover, cocking his head to the side. "Okay, the empathetic thing I understand, that makes sense. But protective? Of Jim? Why?"

Duncan smiled at Blair's confusion, thinking that even after everything that had happened between them in the last few months, Blair still saw Jim as being nearly invincible. "Because he has such strong beliefs, he has faith in the division between good and evil. He's lived a very full life, yet there's an innocence there that I don't want him to lose, I guess. I'm sorry, Caro, that doesn't make much sense."

"Yes it does. What's really important is that it makes sense to you." Blair smiled, squeezing his lover's hand. "So, now that you've figured it out a little better, what are you going to do about it, handsome?"

Duncan laughed, shaking his head. "I don't know. I'm not sure we should do anything about it. We haven't even gotten to how you feel."

Blair grinned at him, looking up at the clock on the wall. "I know, but if you let me start rambling now, we're never going to be ready for the kids when they get here. We have to make it to the deli and back and have time to set out the food. The short answer is eighty percent horny, ten percent jealous, and ten percent totally confused. We can do this some more later, right?"

Duncan leaned across the space between them, smiling at his lover's honesty. "Yes, of course we can. I love you." He kissed Blair sweetly, taking his hands to pull them both up off the couch. "So we should get ourselves moving?"

"Mm, yeah... Not the moving of my choice, but moving." Blair grinned up at his lover, letting go of his hand to cross the room to the wardrobe. Blair dropped his robe, considering his sartorial options.

Duncan couldn't resist coming up behind him, but he didn't really try. He wrapped his arms around his naked lover, pulling Blair's back against his chest to nibble on a bare shoulder.

"Ahh... handsome? We really have to get going here." Blair groaned softly, grinding his hips against the erection he could feel growing in Duncan's jeans. "That's the last of the voice of reason, if you ignore it I'm going to drag you back to bed." Blair warned, a little frustrated by the teasing touch of Duncan's hands on his body.

"Christmas party called on account of hormones? Nope, I don't think it would go over very well. We'd better stop." Duncan sighed, giving Blair a final squeeze before letting go of him.

Blair pulled underwear and blue jeans on reluctantly, borrowing one of Duncan's t-shirts to wear under his sweater. "Okay, I need I need socks and shoes and then I'm ready," Blair told him, sitting down on the bed to put his socks on.

"I know it's not Christmas yet, but I got you something to wear for the party." Duncan spoke with his back to Blair, searching for a paper bag he'd tucked under the bed. Pulling it out, he took out a red and white Santa hat, with a big white pom pom at the pointed tip. Blair laughed, coming to take it from him.

"That's so cool! Thank you." Blair pushed his hair back and put on his hat, flipping the pom pom back and forth experimentally. "How does it look?"

"Adorable."

Blair laughed, "You're the one who's going to look adorable. I can't wait to see you in that Santa suit."

"And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?" Duncan teased, pulling Blair into his arms again.

"A blow job. Maybe a back rub to go with it." Blair answered, biting Duncan playfully through his long sleeved shirt.

"Can you wait for Christmas?" Duncan taunted, one hand snaking down to squeeze his lover's cock.

"No! Definitely not. Screw Santa."

Duncan tossed his head back, laughing so hard that his whole body shook. Blair joined in a moment later, pushing himself away from Duncan reluctantly.

"Okay, lets go get the damn food." Blair grabbed Duncan's hand, pulling him towards the door. Duncan picked up his coat and keys along the way, and they left the loft together, still laughing at their inability to keep their hands off each other.

Jim pulled the gate of the lift, wandering into the dojo. He'd showered, and his hangover was getting much more bearable. He'd only gotten about an extra hour of sleep in his own bed, but he felt much better for it. Waking up, he'd listened for Blair and Duncan's voices and found himself alone in the building. Deciding that they must have gone to get the party trays without him, Jim took his time in the shower, leaning back against the wall and letting the hot water and steam soothe his senses.

In some ways, he wished he'd had time to talk to Duncan a little this morning, and in others, he was grateful for Amanda's dramatic entrance. Breaking and entering seem to be the preferred manner of arrival for Immortals, but he had to admit this one did it with considerably more class. She was something else.

Jim turned the lights on in the dojo, going across the room to the office for the shopping bag full of plastic forks and spoons and paper plates. Every time he tried to think about the events of last night, the only thing that ran through his mind was //Jesus Christ, I kissed MacLeod//. What the hell did Blair think about it? Was he angry at him? Was Duncan? Jim felt a very familiar frustration growing. It seemed like every time life was starting to make sense again, it got more complicated.

What in the world had made him react that way? For that matter, what had made Duncan kiss him like that? Was Mac just drunk? Was he making fun of him? Jim didn't know whether to take it seriously, or if he was blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

Jim took the plastic silverware to the tables they'd set up the night before, laying them out in neat lines. He simply wasn't ready to think about how he felt about it, Jim decided, trying to block the memory of waking up with Duncan's smooth skin under his hand. What was more important was how Blair felt about it. Last night, they'd both made light of it, and Blair had fallen asleep drunk and happy on their laps. How did he feel about it this morning, though? Jim was sure he'd find out. One thing Blair wasn't going to do was let them ignore it. His Guide would find a way to get him to talk about what happened, and Jim was both dreading the discussion and looking forward to the relief of letting his Guide dissect him and figure it all out. He wasn't sure that facing Duncan was going to be quite as easy. He was used to Blair running right over all his defenses, and dragging truth out of him whether he liked it or not. Talking to Mac wasn't as simple.

Jim heard the T-bird's engine outside, and then the car doors slamming, and his pulse quickened. He stopped what he was doing to listen to their voices, realizing that both Duncan and Blair sounded cheerful and playful. He felt relief wash over him as Duncan and his Guide burst through the door, loaded down with packages and laughing.

"Hi Jim! You're setting out the plates? That's great," Duncan called to him, going to the nearest table to set down his stack of plastic deli trays.

"Yeah, I thought I'd get started," Jim answered, trying to meet Duncan's friendly smile with one of his own.

Blair took one look at Jim and set his boxes down, going across the room to give him a hard, reassuring hug. "You okay?" Blair questioned softly, whispering against Jim's shoulder so that only he would hear.

"Yeah, sort of. As long as you're not upset," Jim answered quietly, wishing they had more time to talk about it.

"No, everything's cool, man. Don't worry, okay? We're good," Blair reassured him, squeezing Jim's ribs.

"Okay. Whatever you say, partner." Jim let himself relax into Blair's arms for a another moment, drawing peace of mind from the solid, familiar body against him.

"Hey, I'm going to run upstairs and start bringing down all the presents, okay?" Duncan called to them, walking towards the lift.

" 'Kay, you don't have a lot of time. We still have to get you in the Santa suit and stick your beard on and stuff." Blair gave Jim a final squeeze, before releasing him to go back to the trays he and Duncan had brought in.

"I'll help you with the presents, Duncan, we should be able to get them all down here in one trip." Jim left the stacks of paper plates and napkins to follow Duncan into the lift. Seeing Blair and Duncan so relaxed and happy made him feel much better, and Jim told himself that taking the opportunity to talk to Duncan alone now was smartest thing to do. Otherwise, he'd have to wait all afternoon.

"How's your hangover?" Duncan asked, pulling the gate gently, in case Jim was still recovering.

"Much better. Thanks for letting me sleep." Jim smiled at Duncan across the small space of the lift, not sure how to broach the topic of what had happened between them.

"You look like you want to say something," Duncan told him, lifting the gate for him. He gave Jim an encouraging smile, stepping off the elevator and into the loft.

"Yeah... I guess. Mac, about last night..." Jim took a deep breath, and forced the words out. "Why'd you kiss me like that?" He looked away from Duncan quickly, surprised that he'd actually blurted out the question he couldn't get out of his mind.

Duncan look surprised, too, but he grinned at him, going across the room for the bags of wrapped Christmas presents. "I'm not sure why. I'm not sorry I did it. Are you?"

Jim stood still in the middle of the room, blue eyes searching Duncan's face helplessly. "No."

"Okay. Pretty weird, huh?" Duncan asked, handing Jim bags to set down near the lift.

Jim laughed, grateful for Duncan's candidness, and for his relaxed attitude. Jim supposed that with four hundred years of embarrassing situations behind him, Duncan had probably had plenty of practice handling them. He was glad to follow Mac's lead, and laughed back at him, some of his nervousness dissolving. "Yeah, it sure as hell is."

"Are you upset about it?" Duncan asked, more seriously, concern in his big brown eyes.

"I'm not upset, I'm just really confused. Honestly, Mac, I don't know what the hell to think or feel." Jim took another armful of bags from Duncan, carrying them over to the lift to add to the pile.

"Well, at least we're on equal ground. I'm not sure what to think, either. I'll tell you what, let's not worry about it, and have fun at the party today. We're still friends, right?"

"Right." Jim agreed quickly, his voice full of conviction. That Mac was his friend was one thing he didn't have to question, ever.

"Good. Then there really isn't a problem." Duncan clapped Jim on the shoulder, pulling up the gate for Jim to load the bags into the lift.

Jim smiled, nodding his head in agreement. If Duncan wasn't going to worry about, then he didn't have to either. They managed to fit themselves and all of the presents into the elevator, bringing them down to Blair to stack around the big tree.

They were piling boxes around the tree when Duncan's head came up, the familiar look of unease on his face that meant another Immortal was near.

"Mac?" Jim asked, concern in his voice. He watched Duncan's eyes move automatically to the place on the wall where the weapons usually were, but had been moved upstairs for the party.

"Mac? I'm home." A voice called, and a moment later Richie came through the door, lugging a large backpack and a sleeping bag.

Duncan's face lit up, he moved across the room in a few long strides, pulling his student into a bear hug, baggage and all. "You look great! I'm so glad you made it back in time for Christmas, Rich. Let me look at you." Duncan's hands came down on the young man's shoulders, holding him away to look at him, pride shining in his eyes. Richie grinned at him, happy to see Mac after so long away from home.

"You too, Mac. This place looks good. You been busy." Richie's eyes moved over Duncan's face, taking in the joy he saw there. "You look happy, Mac. Actually, you look like you're in love." Richie told him, laughing when Duncan's grin turned sheepish.

"Well, come meet the reason for my happiness." Duncan took Richie's arm, bringing him over to Blair and Jim by the tree. "Rich, this is Blair, who I'm madly in love with. Blair, this is Richie, my long lost son." Duncan grinned at his student, happy when Rich didn't look at all displeased by his introduction.

"Hi. It's really good to meet you. Duncan talks about you a lot." Blair smiled at Duncan's protégé, offering his hand.

Richie was surprised, but not embarrassed, so he didn't bother to try to hide it. "Wow. Hi, it's nice to meet you."

Mac sleeping with a guy wasn't all that surprising. Mac with a guy that looked like somebody he'd party with was. He smiled, shaking Blair's hand. He was shorter than Richie, with big blue eyes and long hair. When Joe had mentioned that Duncan was involved with somebody, he hadn't bothered to explain that somebody was a guy his age, who looked like a hippie. It would have been nice to have some warning. Richie decided he'd have to give Joe a hard time about it. His attention turned back to Duncan, who was introducing the man standing just behind Blair, on his left.

"And this is our friend, Jim Ellison. He's living on the third floor."

"Hi. Good to meet ya. You guys converted more space into another loft, that's really cool." Richie shook Jim's hand, thinking privately that he looked a lot more like the kind of guy he would have expected Duncan to sleep with. He also looked like a cop. "You're not a cop, are you?" Richie joked, giving Jim a friendly smile.

"What? There's a sign over my head or something?" Jim asked, laughing.

"Just about," Blair told him, happy to see Jim in such a good mood.

"Can you stay, Rich? Help us get ready for the party?" Duncan asked, putting an arm around Richie's shoulders.

"I'm not even here five minutes, and you're putting me to work. Now I know I'm home. No, I'm just kidding, Mac, I'd be happy to. What can I do for you guys?"

"Let me put your stuff in the office for now." Blair offered, taking Richie's backpack from him.

"Thanks. That's a monster tree, Mac. Did you find that one in a forest or something?"

"Nope, we got it from a used car salesman." Duncan joked, helping Jim begin to stack the presents around the base of the tree. Richie picked up the nearest box, placing it on top of the one Duncan set down.

Blair came back from the office, and told Richie the story of their tree shopping, making him laugh until tears came to his eyes. They finished putting the presents under the tree, and laid out the trays of food and cookies. Richie and Blair hit it off immediately, and once Jim found out he raced motorcycles they happily talked bikes and racing while they all dragged out folding chairs and set them up. Duncan watched them talking together, and a deep contentedness spread through him. It was such a relief, to see Richie alive and well. Even after all these years, it was still hard not to be protective of him. It was wonderful to see him, and even better to see him and Blair getting along so well. Jim caught him staring at Blair, and smiled at him across the room, sharing Duncan's happiness.

When Methos came through the doors of the dojo the Christmas party was in full swing. There were kids everywhere, running around, playing games, and taking turns telling Santa what they wanted for Christmas. He spotted Amanda across the room, talking to Joe and Richie. That seemed safe, so he headed their way.

"Adam!" Amanda squealing when she saw him, coming up to throw her arms around his shoulders. "You came home for Christmas!"

"Yes, I did. To quite a surprise," Methos murmured, returning her embrace.

"Didn't we all," Amanda agreed, smiling wickedly. "Duncan seems to be very happy with the little mophead. He's adorable. Very charming, too."

Methos made a face, rolling his eyes at Amanda. "If you say so. Is there liquor in that punch?"

"No, of course not. This is a party for the children, Adam. You're not the tiniest bit jealous, are you?" Amanda's eyes sparkled with mischief, until she realized that she'd caught the old man off guard. There was a flash of real pain in his eyes before Methos recovered his usual mask of mocking amusement. "I'm sorry, love," she told him gently, reaching up to touch his cheek. "I'm thoughtless. Will you live?"

"Of course. Thank you, Amanda. You're a remarkable woman, and a good friend. So where is our Scot, anyway?"

"Didn't you see Santa?" Richie asked as he came over to greet Adam. "It's good to see you."

"Good to see you still have your head," Methos grinned at Richie, almost surprised at how good it was to see the young Immortal. "What's all this about Santa?"

"Mac's playing Santa this year." Richie laughed as he look across the room to see Duncan smiling and laughing, with yet another kid in his lap.

"He's having the time of his life." Amanda watched Methos find Duncan in his Santa costume on the other side of the room, laughing at the expression on his face. "Doesn't he look great?"

"I don't believe it."

"I think the beard suits him, don't you? A little over done on the pillow stuffing, but besides that, he looks good." Amanda took Methos' arm, drawing him back over to Joe.

Methos laughed, shaking his head at Amanda. "From boy scout to Santa. What next?" He had to admit that Duncan did look very happy. Joe got in on the conversation and they all spent the next few minutes making jokes about Duncan in his Santa suit.

Blair spotted Methos across the room, and came towards him, a glass of fruit punch in his hands. "Hi Adam. I'm glad you decided to come. Merry Christmas."

"Thank you. Merry Christmas," Methos murmured, accepting the cup from Blair's hand. "This is quite a party."

"Yeah, we went kinda overboard on the presents." Blair agreed, looking around at all the happy kids with satisfaction. Jim was nearby, organizing a game of musical chairs. Spencer was helping him, looking very festive in a Santa hat just like the one Duncan had given Blair, and elf slippers curled up at the toes. He was the tallest elf Blair had ever seen, the kids loved it.

"Hey, Adam, give me a hand with the trays, we're running low on cookies. I've got a few more backups stashed in the office." Blair smiled at Adam, drawing him away from Amanda, Joe and Richie. He followed Blair to the office, weaving though the crowd of boisterous children. When they got inside the door, Blair closed it halfway behind them, drowning out some of the noise.

"I'm really glad you showed up. I know we didn't start out on the best foot, but you're really important to Duncan, so I'd like it if we could get along." Blair looked at Adam questioningly, handing him two plastic trays of Christmas cookies to carry back out to the party.

"Yeah... I don't do jet lag well. Consider it forgotten."

Blair decided that this was as much of an apology as he was going to get from Adam, and that he could accept it.

"Okay, good. Let's get these out there, before they eat the tablecloths." Blair made a goofy face at Adam, pleased when he made the reserved Immortal chuckle.

"Duncan's just about ready to start passing out presents, I'd better go help Jim get the kids together. Can you put these on the table for me?"

"Sure, go ahead." Methos smiled at Blair, thinking that perhaps he'd been a bit quick to judge Blair. He had the Sentinel thing all wrong, but Methos decided that the boy had a brain in his head, just the same. He was willing to face an embarrassing situation, for Duncan's sake, and this made Methos think that he had more back bone than his first impression had allowed.

Handing out the presents was the best part of the party for all of them. Jim, Blair and Spencer helped Duncan pass out presents and collect the shredded wrapping paper amid squeals of delight. The kids were thrilled with their toys, and Duncan and Jim and Blair were proud of their shopping. Duncan thought it was the most successful Christmas party they'd had yet. The best part, for him, was watching Blair and Jim enjoying themselves and getting to know his friends. That they had all come back to Seacouver for the holidays was more than he'd hoped for.

Blair leaned against the wall of the lift, exhausted but happy. "That was awesome. I think everybody had a really good time."

"Next year, you get to be Santa, Caro." Duncan told him, starting to unbutton the coat of his costume. He was hot and sweaty and tired, but he didn't care. The looks on the kids faces when they unwrapped their presents had made it all worth it.

"Nope, we're gonna make him be an elf." Jim laughed, pulling off Blair's Santa's hat. He put it on, punching Duncan playfully in his belly of pillows. "Come on, Santa, I'll take you on."

"Oh man, you can't punch Santa, you'll get coal," Blair laughed, watching Jim and Duncan play fight until Duncan got him pinned against the wall.

"Give up?" Duncan asked, smiling.

"Yep, I'm too tired. Santa Claus kicked my ass," Jim told him, leaning against the wall, out of breath and laughing.

Blair pulled the gate up for them, and Duncan went straight to the bathroom, peeling off pieces of his costume as he went. Jim collapsed on the couch, happy to sit still and do nothing. He'd managed to keep his hearing turned down, and avoid a return of this morning's headache, but the quiet of the loft was a tremendous relief after hours of high pitched voices. Blair was in the kitchen, heating up the Christmas eve supper he'd made earlier in the week, and frozen for them. There were Cornish hens stuffed with wild rice, baked squash for Jim and a Yorkshire pudding for Duncan, and an apple pie for dessert.

"That smells good already," Jim told him, leaning back on the couch with his hands locked behind his head. There was something about watching Blair in the kitchen that was so essentially comforting. Jim thought that Blair could make any place feel like home.

Duncan came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later freshly showered, wearing faded blue jeans and a white sweater, his wet hair bound in a tight ponytail. He poured himself a drink, carrying it over to the couch to flop next to Jim.

"I'm exhausted," Duncan sighed, putting his feet up on the coffee table. "There is nothing in this world that has more energy than an eight year old."

"Dinner should be ready in a minute," Blair told him, getting plates for them and setting the table.

"That's wonderful, kiddo, I'm starving. Thank you."

Jim and Duncan pulled themselves off the couch to help Blair put all the food out on the table. When the table was set and the candles lit they collapsed into their chairs and started passing dishes back and forth.

"This is delicious Chief, I'm a lot hungrier than I thought I was." Jim stuffed another forkful of squash into his mouth.

"Yeah, chasing those kids around all day you really work up an appetite. It sure was fun, though, wasn't it?" Blair asked, smiling at them contentedly over his plate.

"It was great. I want to thank you both for all the work you put into it. It was by far the best party for the kids I've had yet, thanks to all your help."

"You're welcome." Blair told him, smiling. "It was great. I'm just really glad it's over till next year." Blair was so tired he was almost falling asleep over his dinner. He thought about making a pot of coffee for them after their meal. It was Christmas eve, and he wanted to stay up late and enjoy it.

"No problem, Mac, I had a lot of fun," Jim told him, pushing his empty plate away from him with a contented sigh.

They sat around the table talking about the party, and other Christmas eves. Blair told Duncan and Jim about the Christmas eve he'd spent in South America, and Jim talked about Christmas in the army, and how good it was to have a home, and a real Christmas dinner to look forward to. Duncan listened to them talk about the past, and thought about how grateful he was for the present, to have them both here now. He drew one story after another out of Jim, listening with avid interest as Jim told him about Christmas on leave in Japan and the family he'd spent the holiday with there. Blair cleared the table while they talked, starting a pot of coffee for them when he he'd stacked all the dishes in the sink.

Duncan thought about how little Jim talked about his childhood, and his past all together. In all their reminiscing, he hadn't mentioned his family once. Duncan knew that he didn't have much of a relationship with his father, but he thought it was sad that Jim didn't have any happy memories of Christmas with his family.

"What are you thinking, Duncan?" Blair asked him softly, coming to stand at the back of his lover's chair. "You look sad."

"No, no I'm not. I was thinking about family, how good it is to have one." Duncan leaned back in his chair to smile up at Blair, taking his hand when his gaze moved to include Jim, sitting next to him. Jim looked surprised for a moment, but he smiled, and agreed. "Yeah, it is Mac, it really is."

"I love you guys," Blair whispered, squeezing Duncan's hand.

For a moment, they were silent, all three of them enjoying the feeling of closeness. Then Blair let go of Duncan's hand, squeezing Jim's shoulder affectionately on his way back to the kitchen. He brought out the apple pie, and poured coffee into three mugs on the counter.

"You guys still have room for pie, right?" Blair asked as he started cutting pieces.

"Oh yeah. Cut me a big slice," Jim enthused.

"Me too, kiddo, I've been wanting to eat that pie since you made it. The whole loft was filled with the smell of baking apple pie and you wouldn't let me have any." Duncan almost pouted.

"Yeah, I could smell it downstairs, it drove me crazy," Jim commiserated with Duncan, remembering waking up to the smell of Blair on one of his three am baking stints.

Blair gave them each a huge piece, handing the plates over to Duncan from the counter. "I hope it's as good as last year. I lost the recipe. I think I remembered it, though. Hey, can we turn off the lights and watch t.v. with the Christmas lights on?"

"Sure, do you want to move this to the couch?" Duncan asked, taking the two mugs Blair handed him.

"Yeah, lets. I'll get the lights." Blair went to plug in the Christmas tree lights, flicking off the overhead lights in the kitchen once Duncan and Jim were settled. His pie and coffee were waiting for him on the coffee table, and Duncan and Jim had left him his place in the middle. He settled between them, handing Duncan the remote for the t.v.

"Take your pick, Caro, It's A Wonderful Life or A Christmas Carol."

"Oh cool, it's the Allister Simms version. Christmas Carol, definitely." Blair reached for his pie, nodding in satisfaction when he'd tasted it.

"It's fabulous, Chief. Total pie success."

"Thanks." Blair made short work of his pie, settling back against the cushions with his coffee. "I love this movie."

"I've never seen it." Duncan told them, handing Jim his coffee mug so that Blair wouldn't have to move. He'd arranged himself against Jim's side, his knees up on the couch and his feet in Duncan's lap. It didn't look very comfortable, but Blair looked happy.

"You've never seen A Christmas Carol, really?" Jim asked, accepting his cup and taking a sip over Blair's head before transferring it to his other hand.

"Nope. I've read the story though."

"It's good," Blair told him, "It used to scare the pants off me when I was a little kid."

Duncan turned the volume up as the movie started, and settled back into the couch, one hand on Blair's foot on his thigh.

By the time Scrooge had made his journey with the ghost of Christmas past Blair had scooted down until he was stretched across their laps.

"No way, Chief. You are not falling asleep on top of me tonight. My leg's already numb. Move it." Jim scooped Blair up, dumping him onto the space on his left side, moving over to the middle of the couch.

Blair grumbled, but he lay down again, curled up so that only his calves were in Jim's lap. Duncan chuckled, watching Blair curl himself, spreading out gradually to take up all of the available space. "You amaze me when you curl up that small, Caro."

"Mm, I'm tired," Blair answered sleepily, tucking his head into the crook of his arm, his eyes half open to watch the movie. He was asleep in ten minutes.

Jim and Duncan were enjoying the story, absorbed in the charm of the old black and white film. Jim's arm lay across the back of the couch, and unconsciously, he was playing with the ends of Duncan's ponytail, twisting it around his fingers. It was a habit he'd fallen into with Blair, to twirl a curl around and around his fingertip.

Jim wasn't aware of it, but Duncan was. As soon as he felt his hair move, he looked quickly to Jim, but he was caught up in the movie, a relaxed smile on his face. Duncan held still, thinking about it. If he said anything, he might embarrass Jim, and it would definitely spoil the quiet between them. So he sat very still, letting Jim's fingers play with the ends of his hair. Gradually, his body responded to the touch, a warmth spreading slowly to his groin. Unconsciously, his head tilted towards Jim's fingers, and the light strokes through his hair.

The station broke for commercials, the sound loud after the scratchy soundtrack of the film. Jim's hand moved quickly from Duncan's head, startled.

"It's okay." Duncan murmured, resisting the urge to turn his head to look at Jim beside him.

"It's thick," Jim mumbled, running three fingers slowly through the length of Duncan's pony tail.

Duncan shifted just as little, so that he was close enough to see Jim's face in the dim room. He waited until Jim met his eyes, and then his hand came up, slowly, to cup his jaw. Duncan waited, watching the slow breath that expanded Jim's chest. He didn't move, he held perfectly still under Duncan's touch. When he didn't pull back, Duncan smiled, caught in the intensity of Jim's eyes. Pressing very gently, Duncan's hand drew him forward, until their mouths were almost touching. Fear flared in Jim's light blue eyes, and then he closed them, moving the last millimeter's of space of his own accord. His mouth pressed itself to Duncan's, and his hand came up to hold the back of his head.

Jim heard the quiet little noise Duncan made around his mouth, felt his pulse quicken under his lips. He felt Duncan's large hand, covering all of his cheek as their lips seal together, the rough texture of his callused palm against his skin. The same dizzying rush of excitement spread through him, and Jim coaxed Duncan's mouth open, his tongue creeping in to taste him. Duncan's lips moved slowly against his, his tongue stroking and soothing his urgency. They let the kiss go on and on, breathing each other's air slowly through their nostrils. Neither wanted to have to pull away long enough to breath, long enough to think. Jim's fingers found the elastic band that held back Duncan's hair, and slowly worked it free, his fingers running through the thick, heavy locks.

Duncan groaned quietly, his hand moving to the back of Jim's head to hold him against his mouth. Jim's tongue was stroking the entire interior of his mouth, moving slowly over his teeth and the inside of his cheeks. It sent shivers of heat through him, the hard press of Jim's lips and the smooth glide of his tongue. Duncan felt Jim tremble under his hand, and his grip tightened in his hair, his mouth pushing Duncan back on the couch, leaning over him.

"Mac..." Jim groaned quietly over his mouth. "Why are we doing this?"

Duncan pulled back enough to see the other man's eyes, but he didn't take his hand from Jim's face. "I don't know..." Duncan murmured, lost in Jim's eyes. Slowly, he leaned into Jim's mouth, kissing the thin lips very softly, taking little sucking tastes of him. Jim swallowed a moan, and wrapped his arm around Duncan's shoulders, his other hand still raking through his hair.

Duncan's arms wrapped around him, squeezing him tightly as his lips slanted over his mouth again, kissing him so passionately that Jim felt himself going limp in Duncan's arms, yielding to the hunger for Duncan's mouth.

The next time they came up for air, Duncan met Blair's wide open eyes over Jim's shoulder. He stiffened, releasing Jim slowly. They were both out of breath, their faces red and their lips swollen.

"Hey... it's okay. You guys don't have to stop or anything," Blair whispered, his voice full of wonder and adoration.

Jim moved very slowly, leaning back against the couch. He couldn't take his eyes from Duncan's, and after a second, he reached out for his hand, squeezing hard when he interlaced their fingers. Duncan squeezed back, holding on to his hand when he shifted to a sitting position, facing Blair.

"I'm sorry I interrupted," Blair murmured softly. wishing that Duncan hadn't noticed him. The sight of the two of them with their arms wrapped around each other was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. His body was totally out of control, and doing it's best to shut down his brain. Blair fought back, trying to push arousal away long enough to think. //What did they need from him? Should he try to get Jim and Duncan to talk about this? Or would it be better to try to let them keep this between the two of them?//

"It's okay, Caro," Duncan spoke gently, squeezing Jim's hand harder. He was watching Jim with concern, unable to take his eyes off his stunned face.

"Jim, are you okay? Don't zone out on us." Blair sat up quickly, one hand reaching out for Jim's shoulder. His Sentinel was unnaturally still, staring straight ahead, his mouth slightly open.

"Yeah..." Jim exhaled, closing his eyes. He didn't know what to say, or what to think, either. He was so turned on he couldn't think.

Blair met Duncan's eyes across Jim's shocked-still body, and read love, concern and embarrassment in his lover's face. He smiled, reassuring Duncan with his eyes, telling him how much he loved him. "Hey, listen, guys. I could go downstairs... If you want to do this without me, it's cool..."

"No! I mean, I should go," Jim tried to push himself up off the couch, but Duncan stopped him, one hand on his shoulder pulling him back.

"No, don't, Jim. Please? Don't leave just yet, not like this."

"I don't know what to say." Jim forced the words out, his eyes on his hand, still entwined with Duncan's. Their fingers were leaving white marks on the back of their hands.

"We don't have to talk, I just don't want you to leave. Stay, please?" Duncan spoke persuasively, his fingers squeezing harder for a moment. Duncan knew that if Jim left now, their friendship would never be the same. There would always be distance between them, the awkwardness of something that had almost happened.

"Okay, I'll stay," Jim whispered, glad when Blair moved to sit leaning against him, offering him his strength.

"So, can I uh, ask how this um... happened?" Blair asked softly, his eyes moving between them.

Duncan chuckled, shaking his head. "I certainly don't mind you asking, but I can't give you an answer, Caro. I haven't the slightest idea, and I don't think Jim does, either."

Jim shook his head, confirming Duncan's judgment.

"So, you haven't, like, talked about it or anything?"

Jim laughed weakly, his free hand coming up to cover his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose before he spoke. "Chief, I know what you're trying to say, but it's not going to do any good. Right now, I'm too God damn horny to put one thought next to another, let alone express anything that's going to make sense." He laughed at himself, feeling better for telling the truth.

Empathetic brown eyes met his, and Duncan smiled, letting him know that he didn't have to talk about it at all. It was a tremendous relief.

"Really? Wow. Okay, that's cool. Me too, I think," Blair laughed, pushing his hands through his hair. "Look, guys, I really think it would be a good idea if we talked about this, but I can agree that this might not be the best time. Maybe we should just go to bed?" Blair asked, looking to Duncan for help.

"That's a very good idea, Caro. Come to bed, Jim. We don't have to talk about it, we don't have to do anything about it, either. We can just go to sleep," Duncan spoke soothingly, his thumb stroking the back of Jim's hand.

"Um, okay. I think I can do that." Jim took a deep breath, and met Duncan's eyes once more. "Are you sure you want me here? I could go downstairs..."

"Yes, I'm very sure. Come to bed." Duncan didn't want Jim to be alone, he didn't want him to leave, not when he could have him next to him all night, Blair snuggled comfortably between them.

"Okay." Jim stood up slowly, and Blair took his other hand. Together, they led him to bed. When Blair moved to pull Jim's shirt over his head, Duncan released his hand, murmuring, "I'll be right back." He went to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

When he returned, Blair and Jim were under the covers, their clothes in a pile at the foot of the bed. Jim was lying on his back, in the middle, and Blair was whispering quietly in his ear.

"I'm going to turn the lights off, okay?" Duncan asked them quietly, standing near the foot of the bed.

"Yeah, that'd be good," Blair answered, his voice mellow and low.

Duncan would have liked to stay there watching them for a little longer, but he made himself turn away, going to the turn off the lights on the Christmas tree and one they'd left on over the sink in the kitchen. He could hear the melodic murmur of Blair's voice, but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

He went back to them, crawling under the covers on his side of the bed. As he did every night, he checked to see that his sword was within reach against the wall. He slid under the blankets, listening to the hypnotic murmur of his lover's voice.

"Just turn everything down a little for me, it's okay, it's cool, we can do this. That's it, just relax. You're totally safe here, everything's okay."

Duncan turned onto his side, placing one hand gently on Jim's muscular shoulder. "This is okay?" He asked him softly, wanting to be sure than Jim was alright with the idea of sleeping between them.

"Yeah... it's good," Jim whispered, closing his eyes. It was, it was very good, to feel the warmth of their bodies on either side of them, to have Blair's heartbeat in his ears and Duncan's gentle touch on his shoulder. It was incredible. He took a slow, deep breath, and groaned as the combined scents of their arousal washed over him. The scent was strong, a heady mix of sweat and pheromones that were both strange and familiar. He felt all the blood in his body rushing to his cock, and then he was dissolving into the intense rush of desire, falling into the blackness around him.

"Everything's alright, everything's okay, listen for my voice, hear my heartbeat. Come on, that's it, just follow it back, I'm right here, I'm right here, come back to me, Jim," Blair's voice pulled insistently at the edge of his consciousness, and Jim opened his eyes, blinking against the light that blinded him. Blair was holding his right hand, with gently increasing pressure. Duncan had his left hand, their fingers intertwined.

"Just relax, breath, stay with me," Blair murmured, waiting for Jim to acknowledge him. He was totally tuned to his Sentinel, almost unaware of Duncan on the other side of Jim, holding his hand, concern and fascination in his dark eyes.

"Okay," Jim groaned quietly, the overpowering awareness of their arousal returning with his sense of his surroundings. "Oh God... Blair, I don't think I can... It's too much. I want to. I want this, but I don't think I can handle it."

Blair moved quickly, lying down on his side to press himself against Jim, his lips close to his ear when he spoke again, coaxing him gently. "Tell me about it, it's okay, just tell me. What is it? What's making you zone? What can't you handle, Jim?"

"Smell," Jim whispered, closing his eyes. "Both of you. I feel like I'm going to explode. It hurts." Jim's eyes were squeezed shut, the muscles of his face tight with frustration.

"Well, there is another solution besides you leaving." Duncan told him silkily, his hand moving slowly from Jim's shoulder to the center of his chest. Jim groaned, and Duncan met his lover's eyes across Jim's chest. Blair was very excited, Duncan could see it in his eyes. His cheeks were flushed, and his pulse beat rapidly at the base of his throat.

"Help him, Caro," Duncan murmured, watching Blair's eyes as he leaned over Jim, covering his open mouth with his lips.

Blair moved quickly, scooting down the bed to kneel between Jim's legs. He heard Jim moan, and watched his hips arch up off the mattress as Duncan kissed him deeply, his hands holding either side of Jim's head. He couldn't hold back a groan, as he watched his Sentinel twist under Duncan's mouth. Leaning over him, he drew Jim's rigid cock slowly into his mouth, closing his lips around him. Jim shuddered in his mouth, moaning out loud against Duncan's lips.

Blair took Jim into his throat, sucking down the length of him slowly, letting his tongue drag over the hard flesh. Jim's body strained and shuddered above him, and he sobbed into Duncan's mouth, sucking desperately on his tongue. His hands clutched at Duncan's shoulders, holding onto the hard, rock like muscles for dear life. Blair's mouth twisted slowly over his cock, the wet, constant friction sending jolts of pleasure though his body so strong that all he could do was hang on to Duncan, his tongue burrowing into his mouth, searching for protection from the burning, searing pleasure.

"Let go," Duncan whispered harshly against his lips, and he did, going limp in Duncan's arms as his cock exploded in his Guide's mouth.

Duncan held him tightly, protectively, amazed and extremely aroused by what he'd just watched. The connection between Sentinel and Guide was something so powerful that he couldn't help but be affected by it. The trust Jim placed in his Guide, and now in him, was something that moved him so deeply he could only hold Jim's head to his shoulder, stroking the velvety hair as Jim clung to him. Jim's gasped breaths evened out gradually, his body shuddering violently before it relaxed, melting against him.

"Look what you've done to Blair," Duncan whispered in Jim's ear, his fingers stroking the strong neck tenderly.

Jim opened his eyes to see his Guide, still curled up between his legs, his face pressed into his hip. He was grinding his pelvis slowly into the mattress, the muscles of his legs taut and his toes curled up.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" Duncan whispered seductively, his fingers trailing up and down Jim's chest.

"Yes." Jim answered hoarsely, one hand reaching out to sink into Blair's curls.

"Come here, come back to us, Caro," Duncan murmured, moving back a little as Blair crawled up Jim's chest to lie on top of him. He watched them kiss, love so strong it made him ache unfolding inside him. Blair held Jim's head, not kissing him, but pouring his soul into him, his body pressed against Jim's in total surrender.

Jim moaned contentedly into his Guide's mouth, sucking on his tongue. His hands held Blair's hips, dragging him slowly up and down his torso. Blair pulled back to breathe, his eyes staring down into Jim's, his breath coming in soft pants. At the same time, their eyes turned to Duncan, laying on his side next to them. Duncan smiled, and Blair leaned over to kiss him quickly. Then he pulled away, sliding off Jim's chest to lie on his other side again. His legs slid under Jim's, encouraging him to turn halfway onto his side so that he could wrap himself around Jim's back, his hard cock pushing against the base of his spine.

"I really want to watch. Is that okay?" Blair whispered, watching Jim and Duncan stare into each other's eyes, their faces inches apart.

"Jim?" Duncan questioned softly, his voice deep with desire. He wanted to know what Jim wanted, if he was alright.

"Mmm, yeah, definitely." Jim mumbled, closing the space between them to attach himself to Duncan's mouth again.

Their tongues met and battled for dominance, until Duncan slid over to lay half on top of him, his hands pressing into the hollows of his shoulders. Jim's arms wrapped around him, his hands moving slowly down Duncan's sides. Reaching the elastic waistband of his boxers, Jim pushed them off, shoving them down his legs until Duncan kicked them off for him.

"Oh man," Blair groaned softly, watching Jim's large hands covering Duncan's muscular ass. "Kiss him, Duncan," Blair whispered, his voice ragged with arousal.

Duncan followed Blair's direction, rolling on top of Jim and covering his mouth, kissing him softly. Jim moaned, opening his mouth expectantly for his tongue. Duncan's arms braced his weight, as he covered Jim with his body, groaned quietly as his hard cock nestled into Jim's hard hipbone. "Ahh, that feels good," Duncan told him, his teeth nipping at Jim's lips, his tongue lightly tracing the outline of his mouth.

"Incredible. Oh God, that's so beautiful," Blair whispered harshly, his hand straying to stroke his own erection.

Duncan's weight bore down on him, the hot, stiff length of his erection rocked against his hip, and Jim groaned out load, panting against Duncan's mouth as he felt his own cock swell to hardness. "Oh God yes. Jesus, Mac, don't stop. More..." Jim moaned helplessly, trying to shift underneath Duncan's weight to bring their cocks together.

Duncan moved down a little, and dragged his throbbing cock slowly over Jim's length, hissing through his teeth at the intense pleasure of the friction.

"Mac!" Jim groaned, his hands clutching at Duncan's biceps, his breath coming in heaving gasps.

"Easy, just go with it, it's okay. Don't let yourself zone, concentrate on him." Blair's whisper was harsh, his hand jerking over his swollen cock, but he never took his eyes off his Sentinel, watching over him for the first sign of another zone.

Jim groaned out loud as his Guide's voice pulled him back from the very edge of oblivion, his skin on fire everywhere that Duncan covered him. "Oh god, Duncan..." he moaned, his hips jerking hard against Duncan's slow thrusts.

"Yes. Yes, that's perfect," Duncan whispered back, his face nuzzling into Jim's neck as he bent over him, his hips rocking hard against Jim's.

Duncan felt Jim's muscles coil like a spring, his arms locking around his ribs as he thrust up once more, hot come splattering over their bellies. Duncan closed his mouth over the skin at the side of Jim's neck, his teeth sinking into his flesh as he came explosively, bucking against Jim's slick skin. Each of them were vaguely aware of Blair's shout as he pressed himself into Jim's side, his hand moving furiously over his cock until he came, shuddering against them.

"Oh my God," Jim groaned, the words drawn out as he gasped for air.

"Yeah," Duncan agreed, rolling off Jim's chest to let him breathe.

Blair sighed, pulling himself up to kiss Jim softly at his temple. "Thank you. That was really incredible."

"Yeah, it was," Jim answered, groping for his Guide's hand. He interlocked their fingers, holding onto him while his senses rode out the waves of pleasure after his orgasm.

"I'm glad you stayed," Duncan told Jim, his voice thick with sleep. His hand moved to the center of Jim's chest, covering his heart with his palm. "Goodnight, Caro, sleep well."

"Mm, we're a mess," Blair mumbled, rolling over to reach the side of the bed. Finding a T-shirt, he did a quick clean up, wiping them all off so that they wouldn't be stuck together in the morning. "There, good enough," he told them, tossing the shirt over them to the other side of the bed and flopping down to curl around Jim's back.

Jim rolled over, already half asleep. Duncan's hand came up to guide his face down to rest on his shoulder, stroking his cheek tenderly. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight, Duncan. Merry Christmas."

Duncan chuckled sleepily, his arm reaching across Jim to hold the curve of Blair's hip. "Merry Christmas."

Blair giggled, burrowing into Jim's broad back. "Merry Christmas, guys."

They fell asleep in a sweaty tangle of limbs, the covers forgotten at their feet.

End Part 30