Title: Wings of a dove
Fandom: The Sentinel
Author/pseudonym: Latoya
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: J/B
Date: 12/26/99
Archive : yes
Series:
Category: No sure maybe PWP
Disclaimer: Boys don’t belong to me and no money is being made just fun.
Summary: Something that happens by mistake makes Jim reveal his feelings to Blair
Warnings: None
'Everyone goes through life trying to find someone to care for them, love them. No one wants to be left out, left behind in the rain or the cold. They say there's someone out there for everyone, and I believe that's really true, I really do. But what happens when the person that you have searched for, lusted for, fell in love with couldn't possibly love you back?'
'Nothing... You go through life miserable, let down, feeling incomplete and totally, totally unloved.'
Blair Sandburg dropped his pen and closed his journal as his partner walked in the door of the loft.
"Hey Jim, how was your day?" Blair said with a hint of sadness in his voice.
Jim Ellison stripped off his coat and threw his keys in the basket next to the door. "Fine Chief, did nothing but paperwork all day." Jim smiled at him. That breath stealing, blue eyes glowing smile.
'He's so beautiful when he smiles, his eyes glow like a panthers in the light of a full moon. To bad he'll never love me as much as I do him.' Blair thought despairingly to himself. 'I wish I could make him love me, gather enough courage to tell him how I feel. But I really don't want to lose him. I know that as soon as I tell him how I feel, I’m going to be packing up my things and looking for a new place to stay. So it's probably better if I just keep my feelings to myself, because I can't live without him. I would die.'
"Chief is there something wrong?" Jim said turning worried blue eyes his way.
"No, no not at all, I guess I'm just a little distracted today, that's all." Blair said, giving Jim his best fake smile. Which he hoped Jim believed.
"If you say so Chief, I'm going to go take a shower, than maybe we can order a pizza or something and watch some t.v. Is that okay with you?" Jim said as he pulled off his shirt and headed for the bathroom.
"That'll be great Jim. As long as the there is no pepperoni on the pizza and no anchovies and no..............." Blair said going into lecture mode.
And Jim promptly fled to the bathroom to get away. Blair shook his head and laughed to himself. Than something on the balcony caught his attention. It was a white bird, sorta looked like a dove and it looked like it's wings were hurt by the way it was flopping around. Blair walked over to the balcony and opened the double doors.
He flowed slowly outside, trying not to scare the hurt bird. The white bird fluttered to the top of the balcony and Blair crept slowly to it. "It's okay I'm not going to hurt you little one. Just be still and maybe we can figure out what's wrong with your wings." The bird fluttered higher still, seemingly trying to get away from Blairs’ advancements. "Damn, You just had to go up there, didn’t you?" Blair said stepping onto a balcony chair than onto the balcony ledge.
'Just don't look down Blair, just don't look down.' He repeated to himself as he continued after the bird. Something inside him told him that he had to help the poor bird. If he could just get to it he would be all right.
Jim came out of the bathroom toweling his head, and wearing his favorite blue sweats that Blair had given him for his birthday.
"NO." Was all that he could get of his now dry mouth as he watched Blair almost slip on the balcony ledge. "NO you can't go." he said as he raced out to grab Blair before he fell.
Jim latched onto Blairs’ thighs than pulled him down, both going down into a sitting position where Jim instantly pulled Blair into his lap. Smoothing Blairs’ mahogany curls from Blairs’ jeweled ear, and in between tears of relief that Blair, his Blair was safe he cried "No, Chief, I wont, no I can't ever let you go. What the hell do you think you were doing up there, what do you want to do leave me all alone? I would die without you, Blair. And it's not just the Sentinel thing Chief, I need you in my life. You are a part of me, please, please don't ever leave me." Jim hugged Blair tight, contemplating on never letting go again
Blair was about to complain to Jim that he almost had the bird, when Jim just came out and told him how much he cared about him. 'Wow Jim cares about me?' Blair thought almost curiously. 'I always thought that I was a pain in his behind with all of my tests and just barging into his life and his home. I always thought that soon as he got his senses under control, he would make me leave, though I never would want to leave him. Wait a minute, what the hell did he think I was doing on the ledge? Did he think that I was going to jump?'
"Jim?" Blair tried nervously after a few moments of sitting in silence.
"I love you Chief, please if you stay with me I'll show you." Jim whispered softly reverently, almost to himself that Blair had to strain to hear.
'Holy cow, news flash, Jim Ellison, Major Crimes Detective of Cascade loves me? Now does that mean that he loves me in the friend buddy buddy type of way, or does he love me like I love him which by the way will probably never happen.'
"Please Blair? Let me love you, let me show you how good it can be. All we have to do is go upstairs to my bed and I could show you how much I love you, need you in my life, please?"
"Jim, man I um...... I wasn't going to jump I swear. I saw a bird that looked hurt and I wanted to help it, that’s all. So if you think that I'm............................"
Jim silenced him with a kiss. I don't care Blair. Please let me show you, let me love you. Please?"
Jim showed him how much his words meant with another kiss which set Blair’s body, heart and soul ablaze.
When the kiss was done and they came up for breath Blair could only whimper and say "Yes Jim, please, please show me. I love you to."
Jim stood pulling Blair with him and hand in hand they walked up to Jims' bedroom.
Jim stood pulling Blair with him and hand in hand they walked up to Jims' bedroom.
Once at the top of the stairs Jim stopped and pulled Blair to him, giving him a gentle, reverent, slow and sweet kiss. "I love you Chief so very much." Jim words came out in a choked voice as he hugged Blair fiercely to him.
They stood, wrapped around each other for a very long time until Blair said. "Jim, I would never leave you, you would have to throw me out and I still would come back, I loved you for a very long time." Blair smiled, trying to ease Jims' worries about him leaving but his own heart contracted as he experienced the actual depth of Jims' love for him. Something that he had prayed for, for countless nights and days. There must have been an angel listening to his prayers.
Finally Jim slightly released Blair from the hug and begin to work away the layers in which Blair usually wore. Button by button went on the flannel shirt as Jim tenderly tended to stripping his love. He was going to prove to Blair how much he loved him. Show him how good their love could be then Blair would never leave him never. Not even after his dissertation is done.
Once Blair's chest was naked to Jim's gentle hands, Jim explored him. Slowly memorizing the Blairs chest, hands gliding slowly over Blairs' nipples then down to the slim stomach than making a second journey back up making sure that nothing was forgotten, left out, missed.
Trailing his fingers down past Blairs' navel to the top of the jeans that Blair wore, Jim gently undid the snap than unzipped the zipper slowly, his eyes never leaving Blairs' He worked them down til’ they pooled around Blairs' ankles. Soon Blairs' boxers followed and than he stood naked in all his glory in front of Jim.
He reached out to take Jim shirt off but the older man pushed his hands away and bent down and scooped him up. Hugging his hard body against his lovers soft ,solid heat.. Once they were at the bed Jim lowered him gently.
Blair watched with hungry eyes as Jim stepped back and stripped his clothes away in no hurry. When Jim was naked Blair had to count to one hundred in his head to keep from attacking his lover. He was beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. From the shinning blue eyes to the sturdy legs that held him up.
Jim wanted to go slow with his new lover, so Blair reigned in the last of his self control when Jim slipped into the bed behind him, pulling him close. Sweet words whispered in his ear as Jim fingers wandered over his body again. Making Blair arch and whimper in sweet surrender when Jims strong hand found his arousal hard and needy.
"Please Jim........Uhhhhhhhh.........Please Jim." Blair tried again. "Please Jim, please love me please.” Almost spoken to soft even for the sentinels' ears.
“Yes Jim said reaching for the never used tube of lube in the night stand drawer. He coated one finger and rubbed it around Blairs’ hole. When Blair pushed back silently urging him forward he pushed the digit in. He repeated the process until he had three fingers inside Blairs tightness.
Once Jim was sure that he wouldn’t hurt his love with his penetration he lubed his cock and pressed it against blairs’ entrance. “Are you ready Chief?” Jim asked. Needing to be sure that everything was all right.
All Blair could do was nod and whimper as Jim pressed into him. Moving slowly, gently. Jims’ fingers moving slowly across his nipples and down his chest to his arousal, than back up again in a teasing, torturing dance on his hot skin.
Love was made and fears was annihilated. Sweet and lovely words of pleasure drifted through the silence of the bedroom connecting sentinel and guide, love and love, partner and partner and friend and friend,
Unknown to them, two small eyes watched from the shadows. Taking in the look of love on each face. Noting the air of sadness had lifted. It had done it's job and now it was time to move on. It fluttered it’s white wings and flew into the night sky. Disappearing in the light of the full moon.
=30=