Title: The winning bid

Author/ pseudonym: Morgana.

Fandom: The Sentinel.

Parings: Blair/ Jim.

Rating: PG

Status: finished

Archive: Yes, just drop me a note telling me where you're archiving it.

E-mail address for feedback: morgana@avalon.cobweb.nl

Series/Sequel: stand alone story.

My website: http://www.avalon.cobweb.nl

Disclaimer: The Sentinel is a creation by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo and belongs to Paramount Pictures, Pet Fly Productions & UPN.

Summary; during a benefit 'auction' Jim decides no one is going to take Blair home except him!

Spoilers; this story takes place after Sentinel too, part 2.

Notes: //... // depicts thoughts.

The Winning Bid

by Morgana

"Sandburg, you are participating in the benefit," Simon states clearly. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he looks at the tip of his cigar. "We'll 'auction' you off last. You know... save the best for last," he says with a wink.

"You can't be serious, Simon!" Blair paces the captain's office. He's got to find a way out of this! The benefit auction is the mayor's idea to raise badly needed funds. Most cops gladly agreed to pull their weight, and he is more than willing to help, but he refuses to be 'sold off' as a date for a night. The woman who 'acquires' him is entitled to spend the evening with him. Cascade PD will pay for a candlelight dinner in an exclusive restaurant.

"Forget about it, Simon. I'm not doing this!" He comes to a stop in front of Simon's desk. "Why don't you do it if you're so passionate about raising funds? I know it's for a good cause, but... " He feels bad about saying no, knowing that the money goes to widows and children of police officers which died in the line of duty.

"Sandburg, I won't accept no for an answer!" Simon taps the tip of the cigar against the ashtray and then studies the anthropologist. Blair's response surprises him. Why is this upsetting Sandburg? He probably wouldn't have asked the observer if it weren't for all the women working at the department who had asked him whether Blair Sandburg would be participating. Those ladies would pay a lot of money to wine and dine Sandburg!

"What about Jim?" Blair points to Jim, sitting behind his desk in the bullpen. "Why don't you just 'auction' him off? That will raise all the money you need!"

Jim, who is listening in on the conversation, shoots Blair a wicked glance. He expected Simon to ask Blair, but he's also surprised at the resistance Blair is putting up. What's the deal? Slowly, he gets up from his chair and strolls into the captain's office.

Blair's pouting, realizing Jim heard every word. "Why don't you do it? I'm not even a cop! Just an unpaid consultant!"

"I've already made a donation, Chief." Jim leans against the wall, studying his partner and he doesn't like the paleness of Blair's face. Things haven't been great between them since they returned from Sierra Verde. Yes, Blair moved back in, but the situation is still tense. He failed Blair when he didn't stop Alex from killing him, but he can't change the past. Doesn't make him feel less of a loser though.

"Why me?" Blair whimpers. "What about Brown or Rafe?"

"They're already in and love the idea," Simon explains impatiently, wondering why Blair is making such a big deal out of nothing. "You'll just have dinner with the lady and she'll drop you off at the loft at midnight. Come on, Sandburg!"

Blair feels miserable. He does not want to do this! The ladies will probably pay huge sums for men like Rafe and when they'll push him onto the stage, he won't fetch more than 25 bucks at most. That would be so embarrassing and humiliating. Since Sierra Verde he completely lost his sense of self-worth and can't imagine anyone wanting to pay to have dinner with him. "I don't want to do this, Simon," he pleads one last time.

"Tough. It's for a good cause, Sandburg," Simon reminds him. "We need the money."

Jim has been quiet until now, reading his partner's emotions in those baby blue eyes. He can't stand the sight of Blair hurting. "Maybe you should ask someone else, Simon."

Blair's head jerks back. So even Jim doesn't think he is good enough to take part in the auction? That sets off his anger and frustration. "I'll do it, Simon. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there!" He walks over to the doorway and slams the door behind him.

"Jim? What's going on between the two of you? Things changed after we came back from Sierra Verde. I've never seen the kid so insecure and angry before." Simon can't help being worried. During these last few years Blair Sandburg had become part of Major Crimes, his family.

"I don't know," Jim says honestly. "We're not really talking. I don't know where to start."

"You should apologize to the kid," Simon replies sternly. "You were way out of line when you came down so hard on him after he apologized. I still don't understand how you could tell him that you need a partner you can trust. Dammit, Jim. Blair is the only one you trust!"

Shamefaced, Jim stares at the floor. "Yeah, I did say that, didn't I? I feel like such a shit for telling him that. You're right," he acknowledges, and looks up at his captain and friend. "I owe him an apology."

"The kid didn't know Alex was a criminal. Knowing Blair, he was so thrilled that he forgot to mention it to you." Simon pours Jim and himself a cup of coffee. "Though I find it hard to believe he never tried to tell you."

Jim nods his head. "Maybe I just wasn't listening?" His thoughts drift back to the evening that Blair got home early. He was preparing dinner and suddenly he had heard a jaguar's growl. He had pulled his gun before opening the door. Later, after Blair had shed his coat he had cut down all conversation. And then he remembers...remembers Blair saying... 'I met this woman today...'

"Jim? Are you okay?" Simon dislikes the look in his friend's eyes.

"I just remembered something... Fuck, I do think he tried to tell me..." He feels even worse now. Damn, he's been such an insensitive bastard! It was easy putting all the blame on Blair and he never wondered about his own part in the fiasco. A sense of regret sweeps through him. "Simon... I've been such a jerk... I never listened to him, just told him to shut up."

"It's not too late to change things," Simon points out to him. "He'll accept your apology. We both know that the kid worships the ground you walk on."

Jim gives him a puzzled look. "Simon?"

"Jim, don't tell me you haven't figured it out yet!" Simon shakes his head in disbelief. "The kid's in love with you! It's all over his face. His smile lights up the room when you're near. Consider all the things he did for you! Do you think he would stick around if he weren't in love with you? You can be an arrogant son of a bitch, and when you're mad the kid is the first one you take it out on. Has to be love, Jim."

Flabbergasted, Jim drops onto a chair. "I never knew!" He needs to consider his next words before speaking them. "Do you really think he's in love with me?"

"Jim, if you tell the kid to jump, he asks how high." Simon takes his seat behind the desk again. "Are you telling me you never suspected that he loves you?"

"No," Jim whispers. "But it explains everything, doesn't it? Blair turning down Borneo for me... risking his life over and over again and... " A memory flashes in his mind. "I kissed Alex in front of him... twice..."

Simon sucks in his breath. "Jim, you need to talk to him, but before you do... how do you feel about him?" Simon can only hope Jim will not run away from the truth or repress it. "Do you love Sandburg?"

Jim remains silent. Does he? His thoughts spin and he has to say them aloud to figure them out. "I care about him Simon, a lot."

"Jim, when he died..." Simon stops, knowing the words will pull his detective into the past, "what did you feel?"

"A loss... I felt like I couldn't live without him." Jim releases a deepsigh. "When did this get so complicated?"

"You entered the Sandburg zone three years ago," Simon kindly reminds him. "Do you want this to work? If you do, you'll have to tell the kid how you feel, and what you want, or you'll lose him."

"I'm not good with words," Jim whispers. "I'll clam up."

"Then why don't you show him you care?" Simon nods his head. "I've got an idea, Jim."

"I'm willing to try anything." Jim is still thinking about Simon's earlier question. Does he love Blair in that way? Enough to be lovers?

"The auction tomorrow, place the highest bid."

"Simon," Jim says, feeling distinctly uncomfortable, "if I do that the entire PD will know what's going on."

"You can't keep this a secret anyway. I know Blair... it'll show on his face. Maybe making this public will convince the kid you're serious. Have dinner with him and talk. Really talk, Jim. Tell him what you told me."

"I don't know if I can do that," Jim whispers softly. "It's a big step."

"But it might convince the kid to stay and give you a second chance." Simon sips from his coffee. "This might work, Jim."

"Or it might backfire on me." Jim gets to his feet and opens the door. "I'll think about it."

"Good," Simon purrs, "and now get back to work, detective!"

____________________________________________________________

It's already late when Jim finally arrives home. The loft is dark and strangely quiet. Briefly, panic grips him upon entering the loft. It looks deserted and immediately he focuses his senses on Blair, picking up on a steady heartbeat and regular breathing. Looks like Blair went to bed early.

Jim slips out of his coat and heads for the kitchen. After drinking some orange juice he sneaks over to Blair's room. The door is ajar and Jim peeks inside. He can't help smiling, realizing that Blair fell asleep while fully dressed. As he leans against the doorframe he studies the younger man. Deep lines of worry are etched onto his brow and he still looks too pale. Did Blair lose weight? Almost seems like it.

When it came down to trusting Blair, he knows he made some bad mistakes. Trust. He should have trusted Blair, but instead of doing that he pushed Blair away, pushing him out of his life. Blair has done so much for him, has taught him everything he now knows about his senses and brought the joy back into his life. Before Blair entered his life he had dragged himself to the
station and back home.

//Do I love him? It's not that easy. Blair means a lot to me, but do I love him? Do I want to take him into my arms and make love to him?// The questions continue to circle in his mind and he takes a step into Blair's bedroom. Finally, he reaches the bed and allows his fingers to caress a lock of auburn hair. He always wanted to do that, but controlled the urge.

//Yeah, I guess the answer is yes,// he finally admits to himself. It frightens him, discovering he has feelings for Blair that run so much deeper than friendship, but he can no longer deny it. He loves Blair Sandburg and has probably repressed it for years.

As Blair moves onto his other side, Jim quickly steps back, not wanting to disturb his friend's sleep. Blair is still recovering from dying. His lungs act up when he's under a lot of stress and sometimes the most horrid nightmares torment the young anthropologist. //My mistake... my failure,// Jim knows instinctively. //I made it easy for her to kill you. I kicked you out of the loft and she knew you only had one place left where you could go. Blair, I never wanted this to happen!//

But maybe Simon is right and he can change things. He would attend the benefit tomorrow and no matter what cost, he would place the winning bid. And during dinner, he would tell Blair the feeling is mutual. //I will claim you, Blair...count on it!//

____________________________________________

Nervously, Blair tries to regain his calm. The benefit is a success so far. The mayor is pleased with the collected money, and Simon, who's acting as master of ceremonies, never seems to stop smiling. It's making him nervous as hell.

He finds a nice secluded spot, far away from the little stage they erected to show off the 'dates for one evening', and tries hard not to listen to the women placing their bids. Brown went for 200 dollars and someone even paid 250 bucks for Joel. So far 100 dollars was the lowest bid, and that was for Collins from Vice.

Blair clasps his clammy hands, constantly telling himself to think only of the good cause. Even if he's only good for 25 bucks, he helped make that contribution.

From the corner of his eye, he catches sight of Jim, who feels equally uncomfortably in this crowd. He briefly wants to tell Jim to dial the noise down, but the Sentinel no longer needs guidance. Jim's mastered his senses.

Maybe that's his cue to leave town? Jim no longer needs a guide and their 'friendship' is ruined, which is solely his fault. He should have persisted in telling Jim about Alex, but his friend had told him to shut up and he had never tried to bring the subject up again.

//He doesn't trust me. He needs a partner he can trust, who will watch his back and I'm no longer that person. Jim told me himself. Maybe I should just get out of his life. That will make things a lot easier for him. He can get himself a new partner, one he can trust, and I... maybe I will take that offer to head that expedition into Tibet.// He hasn't brought up that offer yet, keeping it to himself.

"Sandburg, get over here! You're next!"

Resigned, Blair walks over to the stage. Simon's waving at him to hurry. //Yeah, maybe I should go to Tibet. It's only for one year, and later I can write my dissertation.// Rainier approved of him changing the subject of his dissertation and had given him an extension. 'The Sentinel' by Blair Sandburg will never be written. He deleted all files on his laptop and tore up all written pages. It's time to burn some bridges and going to Tibet might just save his sanity.

"Sandburg," Simon says concerned, seeing the distant expression in those blue eyes, "get out there!"

Sandburg walks slowly, taking in the crowd of women standing in front of the stage. There are even some men, waiting for Connor to come out. She's the only woman who agreed to participate.

Blair tries to smile as the bidding starts. //It's for a good cause,// he reminds himself. He'll have dinner, talk to the lady, maybe flirt a little and then head home to pack. Tomorrow he can book his flight and contact Professor Ramani, who asked him to lead the expedition.

"100 dollars!"

"150!"

"200!"

Blair blinks his eyes. Did someone really place a bid of 200 dollars? The woman must be mad! Interested in finding the lady who's willing to pay that amount of money to have dinner with him, his eyes scan the crowd. It's Rhonda who calls out, "250!" and he grins smugly. He can't believe he was worried about leaving the stage humiliated; he's always been popular with the ladies!

"300 dollars!"

Blair cocks his head and looks into sparkling brown eyes. He doesn't know the girl's name, but he remembers that she's with Vice. Okay, this might be good for his ego after all. 300 bucks? The girl must be rich!

It remains quiet and Simon beams with pleasure. "300 dollars... last chance!" he calls out, locking eyes with Jim, who's hiding at the back of the room. //Come on, Jim,// he prays fervently, //you might not get another chance!//

"500," Jim states calmly, grinning at the sight of Blair's big eyes. //You never expected that, huh?// he thinks pleased. The look Blair's giving him is full of disbelief and maybe even a hint of fear.

"Did I hear 500?" Simon repeats, pleased.

"Yeah, 500," Jim confirms the bid and walks up to the stage. "I'll pay cash," he offers and puts the money on the clerk's desk. His Sentinel vision registers the tiny tremors coursing through Blair's body. The anthropologist is staring at him blankly.

"Jim?" Blair barely manages the name. Why the hell did Jim place that bid? "You should save that money for Connor." He whispers the words softly so only Jim can hear him. Confused, he wonders about the broad smile on Jim's face. "I don't understand."

Simon pushes Blair gently off the stage. "Have fun at dinner!" He distinctly notices the sigh of disappointment moving through the crowd of women.

Blair swallows hard as Jim extends his hand to help him down the stage. "Do you have a fever, man?" he asks mystified.

"No, never felt better!" Jim steps to the side to let Blair pass. "Here's your coat. I'm hungry."

"Oh shit, dinner!" Blair remembers he's supposed to have dinner with his 'date'. As he falls into step next to Jim, he tries to figure out what's happening. He waits until they're outside. "Jim, wait," he stops Jim. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Get inside, Chief." Jim arches an eyebrow and closes the door after Blair slips onto the passenger seat. He's feeling a lot more confidant since talking to Simon and he has the sneaky suspicion that the captain was right all the way. Yes, the feeling is mutual.

"Jim?" Blair starts as Jim gets inside and starts the car. "Why did you pay 500 bucks to have dinner with me? You can have that every evening..." But he doesn't add that lately one of them doesn't show up for dinner and usually it is Jim, calling hours later to tell him that he was on a stake out.

"We need to talk Chief, and you know I suck at talking about my feelings. Can we please wait until we get to the restaurant?" He would feel more comfortable surrounded by people.

Blair falls quiet, completely mystified. They don't talk much during the ride to the restaurant, but as they drive up to the place, it's Blair's turn to be surprised. It's a first class establishment. "Jim? I don't think the PD had this in mind when they said they were paying for dinner."

"This one is on me, Chief," Jim explains, and gestures Blair to follow him inside as he hands his key to the valet. Once inside, he addresses their host. "I have reservations. Name's Ellison."

The waiter smiles and leads them to a secluded table in the back. Jim approves of the choice; he told them that he wanted some privacy. "We'll have some red wine." The waiter hurries away and Jim finally has the chance to concentrate on Blair, whose confusion is still growing.

"Jim? You better start explaining." Okay, he can deal with having dinner with Jim. He had dinner with his partner for the last three years so why does it feel different now? Maybe because Jim placed that bid, knowing what other people might think? That they were more than just friends and partners at work?

Jim waits for the wine to arrive and selects Blair's favorite dishes. The waiter writes everything down and leaves them alone again.

"Blair..." Jim reaches across the table and takes hold of Blair's hand, ignoring the surprised expression in those baby blue eyes. "I want to apologize."

"Apologize?" Blair's brain refuses to function. Did Jim ever apologize to him before? Not that he can remember.

"I didn't mean it when I said that I couldn't trust you. You're the only person I trust. I don't know what got into me, but I hurt you by saying that. I do trust you, Chief." Jim carefully monitors Blair's reaction. The younger man's jaw almost hits the floor and those big eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

"I don't know what to say, Jim... I can't blame you for no longer trusting me... but I did try to tell you about Alex after you pulled that gun on me," Blair whispers softly, mesmerized at the sight of their twined fingers. Jim stopped touching him since Sierra Verde and he hungers for the tiniest touch.

Blair's hand feels icy cold and Jim rubs it gently. "I'm really sorry I kicked you out of the loft. I don't know why I did that. There were times that I didn't feel in control of my actions or emotions."

"I understand," Blair assures him, remembering how territorial and paranoid Jim had been. "It's your place, not mine. You have every right to tell me to move out."

Damn, that isn't the answer Jim wants to hear. Leaning in a little closer he stares into Blair's eyes. "I've been impossible to live with lately... I know that," he smothers Blair's protest. "I wanted things to go back to how they were before... before Alex, but that's impossible."

Blair nods his head. "Things changed, Jim." But he still loves the older man. He always will, but can't tell Jim that, not after Alex.

"There's something else I want to discuss," Jim whispers and takes a deep breath of air. This will be the most difficult conversation he ever had, the most important one too. There's so much at stake here! "You always tell me I repress things..."

"You do," Blair comments, but fails in killing the gentleness in his tone. Fondly, he looks at Jim, then realizes what he's doing and locks away his emotions.

"I want to stop doing that. I've got to say it." Jim tightens his hold on Blair's hand. "I love you, Blair."

"I love you too, man," Blair smiles, genuinely surprised that Jim is opening up like this. It will make it harder to tell Jim that he will be leaving for Tibet in a few days.

"No, I mean I am in love with you..." Jim clarifies. Blair's soft yelp is only audible to his Sentinel ears. "And I've got this feeling you're in love with me too." Now that he has spoken those words he has to wait for Blair to reply. Blair's clouded eyes reveal no emotions at all.

"Jim, I've been in love with you for the last three years, but..." Words fail him. Blair stares at the wine, quickly sips from it and tries to find his courage. "You never seemed interested in me... romantically, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, but... when you drowned, I knew I had lost the most important thing in my life. That's why I brought you back. I love you. I didn't really realize it back then, but... I can't live without you. I need you. I love you." Jim laughs warmly. "Usually I never talk this much."

Tentatively, Blair rubs Jim's knuckles with his thumb. "I'm glad you told me, Jim."

"So... how do you feel about this? Are we going to give this a chance?" These are the most important words he will ever speak. "Please, Blair."

Questioningly, Blair searches Jim's eyes. "Are you sure about this, Jim? I can't believe that you're in love with me, man." The thought is tempting; to stay with Jim and become lovers, but is this what Jim really wants?

"I'm sure, babe," Jim says after a moment's thought. "Stay? Stay with me? I want to hold you in my arms each night when we go to sleep. I want to kiss you awake each morning. I want to comfort you when you're hurting and I want to hear that laugh, see your smile, get lost in your eyes..." Jim pauses, his own eyes growing big. "Never knew I was a romantic."

"A poet," Blair corrects him, and moves his chair a little closer to Jim's. He's forgotten about Tibet. "You don't know how much I hoped you'd fall in love with me, Jim. I was scared to tell you that I love you. The loft has been home for three years because you were there. I never had a real home before."

"And when we get home later, we're going to unpack your stuff. Let's throw away the boxes and move your stuff upstairs. We'll turn your room into a study." Relieved, Jim reaches for his wine and sips from it. "I want you to sleep in our bed from this day on, please?"

The 'please' makes Blair quiver. "Hope you don't mind having an ice cube in your bed. I always have cold feet."

"I'll warm you," Jim promises and, leans in closer. "I love you, babe."

Blair rubs his watering eyes. He doesn't want to spoil the mood by crying. "I've always loved you, Jim."

As their lips touch, Jim realizes how close he came to losing the love of his life. "Never leave me, Blair."

Blair chokes up and doesn't dare mention he considered going to Tibet. It would add to the pain they still carry inside. "I won't," he promises and answers the kiss. "I won't."

The end :)


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