Title: The Dance
Fandom: The Sentinel
Author/pseudonym: Marti
Email address: CRAJONCRA@aol.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: J/B
Date: 04/18/00
Archive : yes
Series: no
Category:
Disclaimer: Boys don’t belong to me and no money is being made just fun.
Summary: Blair and Jim go on a date.
Warnings: None
This story has been beta read by one of the best beta's in the world, the one the only Elaine. This story is was not written by me, it was written by Marti so please send all comments her way at CRAJONCRA@aol.com She wants me to add that I encouraged her to write the story, and I take full responsibility for my actions.
Blair woke up early, he was still used to waking up early for school, classes, and the university. Now he just woke up early because it just happened that way. His whole life had changed, he was no longer Blair Sandburg, college student working on his Ph.D. He was "Blair Sandburg Media fraud." Soon to be Detective Blair Sandburg, partner to Detective James Ellison, his Sentinel.
But for now he was just awake with nothing to do, not for two weeks. In two weeks he would start his weapons training and he would be back with Jim. 'All I want to do is be with Jim,' he thought than shook his head. 'I have to get these thoughts out of my mind.' He sat up in bed and let his mind go over the last year. The last year had been hell, starting with Alex and ending with almost everyone he cared about getting hurt. It had ended just like it had started, with Jim almost kicking him out. But they had stayed together in the end.
Blair told himself he stayed because he was Jim's Guide. He told himself that's why Jim let him stay, but there was more. He stayed because he loved Jim with all of his heart. He had loved him from the moment he had met him. The thought of not being near him was too much to endure, so he stayed. They did an awkward dance of not talking about 'it.' The 'it' that had started a year ago. Now they just acted like nothing happened, but it had. They felt it, as it hung heavy in the air that they breathed. It was also between them when they talked. He knew they both convinced themselves that maybe "it" would go away and things would be back to normal, that they just needed time to heal. He would give it all the time in the world. He would dance, act, do anything to be near Jim. He could wait.
When Jim woke up, he did what he did every morning and night, listen for Blair's heartbeat. The one thing he had gotten used to hearing, the one thing that he needed to hear was not around. His first response was to panic, not hearing Blair's heartbeat brought back the feeling of impending dread. 'Calm down Ellison', he told himself. 'He's just not here, he must have gone out to eat or something.'
Jim got up and let his senses sweep through the loft. Blair's scent was still there and he could feel the warmth of where his feet had touched the floor. Blair had not been gone long, and everything was quiet. The loft had always been quiet, that's why he liked the place, well that's what he told himself before Sandburg moved in. He had to smile, the place had never been the same since. It now overflowed with sounds, smells, books and Blair. The loft was full of Blair, God help him, but Jim wouldn't have it any other way.
God how he loved to hear and smell him. How he loved to listen to him talk and talk about anything and everything. Now he only heard Blair's heartbeat, they didn't talk as much as they used to, and he knew it was his fault. When he had thought Blair was dead he almost lost it himself. The intense fear he felt was foreign to him, it was like falling into an abyss. Then he heard Blair's heartbeat. It was a miracle that Blair was still alive. 'But did you tell him that? No. You did what you always do, you shut down', he thought sourly to himself.
It had been too emotional, it had hurt too much. So, he just shut down all of his emotions and pulled back. He told himself to play it safe, keep Blair at an arms distance. Now they passed each other in the loft without saying a word. Blair always got up and went out before he was awake. So he just went to work, by the time he got home, Blair was always asleep. He hoped that when Blair started to work as his partner he would be able to tell him how he felt. " Yeah right" Jim said out loud.
Even when Blair had told the world that he was a fraud, and that Jim wasn't a Sentinel, he still couldn't bring himself to say or do what he wanted. All he wanted to do was to hold Blair in his arms and say how much he loved him. But he didn't. 'William Ellison had done a good job', Jim thought sarcastically. 'I'm going to end up alone like my father.' He needed to do something and he needed to do it today. He started to make plans to turn this mess around. He would not end up like his father.
When Blair got home there was a note on the table from Jim. The note said to meet him at a restaurant called "La Fondue." It also gave the address and what time to be there, and also that he should wear his cashmere polo shirt that Jim had given to him for his birthday. That request got to him, the shirt was the nicest thing he had, it was beautiful. The shirt was azure blue, long sleeved and it fit well. 'This place must be nice', he thought.
For the rest of the afternoon he was in a fine mood. He took a bath, and made the bathroom a place to get his thoughts together. He lit candles all over making the bathroom glow. After washing his hair he laid back in the tub, thinking. Thinking of how he could tell Jim how he felt, thinking of holding his Sentinel in his arms and kissing his mouth. Just the thought of Jim close to him made him ache. His hands strayed to the part of his body that ached the most. His left hand went to his balls and his right hand to his cock. He closed his eyes and fantasized that his hands were Jim's. Jim's hands cupping his balls, Jim's hands gripping his swollen shaft, pumping him til he came. He brought himself to an explosive climax then relaxed in the warm water.
Blair dressed in his nice black wool slacks and the polo shirt. Black loafers and black socks with a black leather belt pulled the look all together. He put on both of his earrings and a gold watch that Jim had given him as a gift. He tied his hair back and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He looked great and he hoped that Jim would think so too. 'What the fuck am I doing?' Blair thought, his mood changing to dread. 'Why am I doing this to myself? As if Jim Ellison could ever love me the way that I love him.' Blair sank down to the floor. 'I should call and tell Jim that I can't make it. No, it's too late for that. I should just go eat and come home and cry.' Blair put on his black leather coat and locked up the loft. While he drove to the restaurant all he wanted to do was cry, but as he entered La Fondue he saw a look on Jim's face that made all his thoughts of dread disappear.
Jim had left for work after leaving the note on the table. He had made all of tonight's arrangements before he left. He called the restaurant, told them it would be a special night. He asked for a booth that was not too far away from people, but nice and quiet. He packed his best look, the one he knew Blair would like. He took a change of clothes to work with him. After work he would change and meet Blair at La Fondue. La Fondue was so Blair, it would be perfect, and all the things he had planned for after their dinner would show Blair how much he meant to him. 'It has to show him. He must know by now how I feel. He has to', he thought. 'Tonight has to be the start of getting back to good, it has to be.' That was the last thought Jim had before closing the loft door.
Whatever he did at work that day was a blur. He did his paper work, kept to himself and thought about Blair. He thought about how he missed his Guide there next to him. How Blair would make all the paper work seem almost fun. He would talk on and on about something, some tribe or some place he had been, they would joke and just be together. He missed that the most, the just being together part. No, what he really missed was the touching. He would do anything just to touch him again. Jim thought of all the times he had touched Blair. His Guide never pulled away or seemed to mind. Sometimes he would stand close to Blair and feel his body heat. He would stand so close he could smell Blair's excitement 'Excitement for him, atleast that's what he used to think it was for him.'
The thought gave him an erection that he couldn't hide. As soon as he could walk he took off for the men's locker room. He undressed and slipped into a shower stall. Letting the hot water melt the day away, he soaped up his body and thought of Blair. His erection was back and he knew what his body wanted. He stroked his hard wet cock til he felt his come leave his body. 'God I hope I didn't yell', Jim thought as he got out of the shower. He dressed as fast as he could.
A few guys even said he looked good. He looked at himself in the mirror. He did look good. ' 40 years old and not bad, not bad at all. Body is a little older but just as good or better than it was when I had been a Ranger', he thought. Then it felt like all the air had left the room and all the sound had been muted. He had to sit down, his legs felt weak to hold him up. 'Who am I fooling? I'm a 40 year old man that has never had a relationship that didn't go bad. Every person that I have been with has left me or I pushed them away; or they tried to kill me. I'm alone. The only person that has been able to put up with me has been Blair. Ever since Alex came along nothing had been right.'
The thought of Alex even now made him sick. He got up slowly, grabbed his things and headed for his truck. Once in his truck he let his head rest on the steering wheel, tonight he was going to try his best to get things back to good. He would show Blair how he felt about him. He would show him every day of his life, even if he didn't want to be his lover. All he wanted was to have him in his life. He drove to the restaurant thinking that over and over. He parked the truck and walked to La Fondue and waited for Blair. The moment he saw Blair his heart nearly left his body. ' God, he is so beautiful.'
There Jim was, dressed in all black. A V-neck sweater that fit like a glove over that wonderful chest. Black wool slacks cut lean and long on his well toned body. Blair had to take a moment to get his breath back. The smile on Jim's face made him want to melt, that smile was for him. ' I want that man.' was all Blair could think about. 'How could things have gotten so bad between us?' He walked up to Jim, who had been waiting outside the restaurant.
"Jim you look great", Blair said as he stood in front of Jim.
"Well, if I look great you look better."
Jim and Blair stood looking at each other for what seemed like forever. Finally Jim broke the moment, and lead Blair into La Fondue. When Blair walked through the front doors he felt as if he had stepped into another universe. He had to wait until his eyes adjusted to the low light, but when they did, he saw that the place was meant to enrich the senses. He couldn't believe his eyes, the place was unbelievable. La Fondue was only one large room, but the seating was very intimate for such a big space. Tables that seated no more than four people were arranged in the middle of the room. All along the main walls were booths. In all, La Fondue seated no more then fifty people.
The walls were covered in royal purple and midnight blue silk. The table tops were covered with red satin fabric. The booths were red leather with the same fabric covering the tables. From the ceiling hung antique chandeliers, at least twenty of them. On silver chains, in between the chandeliers, hung golden moons and stars. Everywhere candles were lit to give the place an opalescence. It took his breath away.
"You like?" Jim asked Blair.
"Are you kidding, man? This place is a dream "
"No, you are Chief."
Before he could ask Jim if he said what he thought he said, the waiter showed up. They followed the waiter to their booth and sat down. That was when he noticed that La Fondue was a couples place. 'Oh, good heavens I'm on a date!', he thought to himself.
A very young and good looking waiter came over to their booth. He looked at Jim then started to talk to Blair. 'No way kid, keep your eyes to yourself', Jim thought. The waiter gave them their menus and asked if they would like something to drink?
"I think my companion and I would like a bottle of champagne", Jim said
"Yes Sir, we have a very good wine list"
"I think a bottle of Veuve Clicquot would do nicely."
The waiter looked at Jim now and with a nod of approval left.
"Champagne Jim? Wow man, I love champagne."
" I know."
"And Veuve Clicquot is my favorite."
"I know", Jim said looking at his Guide. "I know everything about you."
"But Jim, this is like so expensive. I only have about..."
"I asked you out, tonight is on me Chief. Tonight is for you."
Blair couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Jim Ellison saying what he thought? Was he getting all the signals right? Jim calling him his "companion" and giving the waiter the back off look. 'And the way Jim is looking at me. He has not stopped looking at me since I got here'
"Is something wrong? Do I look OK, why do you keep staring at me?"
"No Chief you look great, except for one thing, your hair. Do you have to wear it back like that? I like your hair hanging loose."
Without thinking, Blair removed his hair tie and let his hair fall down around his shoulders. Jim reached over with his left hand and moved a strand of hair off of Blair's face. The jester was so smooth and easy, everything felt so right. Tonight was a dream come true. All Blair wanted was to stay like this looking into Jim's sky blue eyes. 'Please let this moment last forever.'
The waiter returned with their champagne and asked if they were ready to order. He was no longer looking at the beautiful young man, he knew better. He had gotten the message to back off with the "companion " remark. The waiter only looked at Jim when he asked if they were ready to order. He knew an alpha male when he saw one, and this guy was one. The waiter explained how the food would be prepared. All the food, except the salads would be done in the Fondue style of cooking. Everything from the appetizers to the main course and dessert would be cooked in a fondue pot. They would use the long fondue forks to dip their food in a pot of hot cheese, for their appetizers. The main course would be cooked on a hot pot of peanut oil and the dessert would be a warm pot of white or dark chocolate. All that was left was for them to do was pick their entree.
"I think we will have the dinner for two. Is that OK with you Chief?"
"Whatever man, this is great. I can't wait. Everything sounds so wonderful"
"Which dinner for two?'' the waiter asked.
"The surf and turf", Jim responded
The rest of the night was as Jim planned. They ate and they talked. They laughed and fed each other food. Jim could not get over how much he missed the sound of Blair's laugh. The way Blair smiled was in itself a joy to behold. How he had missed that smile. He wanted so much to lean over and kiss those lips. Blair had the most wonderful lips, so full, so soft looking. The night was perfect. All that he wanted was right there beside him. 'Why he hadn't understood that before, made him want to kick himself. Blair is everything to me. I'm the luckiest man on this earth', he thought.
When dinner was over and the check had been paid, Jim suggested that he drive them home in his truck. Blair waited outside the restaurant for Jim to retrieve the truck from the parking lot. Outside on the sidewalk Blair had time to think the night over. It was heaven. La fondue was magical, the food and drink were to die for and Jim Ellison was the man of his dreams. 'He was so wonderful tonight. He never stopped looking at me. I felt as if I was the only person in the room. I know he was for me. I will remember this night for the rest of my life.'
"Yo babe you going to stand out there all night?" Jim smiled from his truck, the passenger door open and Jim was honking the truck horn "Get in here."
Blair flew into the truck. Slammed the door and giggled.
"I was just waiting for a good looking man to pick me up"
"Really, is that so?" Jim laughed.
As Jim drove home Blair's mind wouldn't stop. Everything that had happened tonight had gotten him in an emotional state that he could not keep to himself. He was so giddy with an overwhelming feeling of love, desire and lust. He had to tell Jim now how he felt. His need was so strong that it all came out of him in a rush.
"Jim, I love you. I don't mean I love you as a friend. I mean, I love you as a person. I want to be with you the rest of my life. Tonight was more than great, I can't even think of a word to decribe it. All I want you to know is that I love you with all my heart and soul."
Blair waited for Jim to say something. When he didn't he looked closer at Jim. Jim was staring straight ahead at the road. He was grinding his teeth so hard and he could see the muscles twitch in Jim's jaw. Jim's hands were gripping the steering wheel and his arms were locked at the elbows. 'What have I done?' he thought despairingly. He pushed his body as close to the passenger door as he could. The rest of the ride home was made in silence 'What the fuck have I done?'he wanted to cry.
Jim pulled the truck into a parking space and killed the engine. He still hadn't said a thing or even looked at Blair the whole ride home. Blair had made himself as small as he could against the passenger door. All of a sudden he reached for Blair and grabbed him by his elbow. He pulled him out of the truck through the driver's side, kicked the driver's side door shut and pulled Blair across the parking lot. He never let go of him even when they were in the elevator.
Jim was in a mood that Blair had seen many times before, he was mad. He knew Jim was so mad he couldn't speak. He didn't even try to pull away, the grip Jim had on him was like a vice. Jim pulled out his keys to the loft and opened the door. Blair tried to say something to Jim, but when he did the look on Jim's face made him stop cold. Jim pushed him inside the loft and kicked the door closed behind them. Jim then took Blair by the shoulders and pushed him against the front door. Jim slammed his body into his pinning him to the door.
"Why did you have to say that to me? Why did you have to be the one to bring it up, tell me that you loved me? Why? Why couldn't you have just let me be the one to say it first? You always have to have the first and last word. Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to be the one to tell you how much I loved you Blair?"
He was so close to Blair at this moment, he could feel the heat coming off of Blair's body. He was almost in tears. Blair could not believe his ears or eyes. Jim was telling him that he loved him. This was everything he had every wanted. He leaned into Jim and kissed his lips. That was all Blair remembered. The rest was a blur. Hands pulling off clothes. Mouths searching out exposed skin. Lips sucking on tongues. Words were not needed, not anymore. What was needed was skin on skin, the feel of body heat.
Through it all Blair was still pinned against the front door. He and Jim were naked and sweating. The only sound to be heard in the loft was of their breathing. Jim lowered himself to his knees and focused attention on Blair's cock. He took Blair's cock into his mouth all at once, deep throating him. He then took Blair's legs and put them over his shoulders. Still with his back against the door, Blair took his left hand and braced himself then took his right hand and held onto Jim. Jim moved his lips up and down Blair's shaft slowly. When he took his Guide's full cock in his mouth, he flicked his tongue on Blair's balls. This made his Guide moan with pleasure. All of a sudden Jim moved himself to a standing position, releasing Blair's legs from his shoulders to around his waist.
"Don't move from this spot", Jim whispered into his lovers ear. "Don't you dare move."
Blair couldn't move even if he wanted to. Jim unwrapped his legs and let him slide down the front door to the floor. Jim disappeared into the darkness of the loft. He couldn't see where his Sentinel had gone. Jim had left him on the floor on his back, sweating and sexually charged. Blair took his hands and grabbed his cock and tried to find some release for himself.
"Stop that!!" Blair heard Jim's voice say from the darkness.
Blair jerked his hands way from his aching cock, placing his hands behind him on the door. When Jim came back to his Guide he found him on the floor, on his back, legs apart, knees slightly bent and toes curled under. That was the way he had always wanted to see this man, ready and waiting just for him. He kneeled down and took Blair in his arms and pushed him against the door again. He then turned Blair to face it and pinned him there with his body. He then took his right hand and moved it between his lover's ass cheeks. Finding the small hot opening he was looking for, he started to lube up Blair's tight hole. His left hand was full of Blair's hair, pulling his back head.
Blair took his hands and placed them on the door, pushing himself back til his elbows locked. Then he took his left foot and planted it on the front door. Jim placed his erection on Blair's sweet ass cheeks. Blair pushed back and rubbed his burning ass into Jim's hot cock. In one swift move, Jim took his right arm and encircled his Guide's waist, and entered him. Grinding his swollen cock inside his lover. He reached for Blair's weeping cock and pumped it until Blair came. He felt his lover's hole tightening on his erection and came too. All was lost in a white hot light of passion.
The next thing Blair knew was that Jim was cleaning him up. He was still on the floor by the front door. The only thing he could think of was, how he had broken rule number 5793, don't come on the front door.
"Now that we've had sex, you think we can go to bed and make love now?" Was all that Jim said to Blair.
*A week later*
Blair sat in his office, what Jim called 'Blair Sandburg's Museum of Natural History'. Really it was just his old bedroom. He and Jim now shared the loft bedroom, they were life partners now and in one week they would share everything. That's why he was at his desk this late at night. He was filling out papers to become Jim's partner at work. He could hear Jim yelling at him to come to bed but he just wanted to finish all the paper work and have the rest of the week with his Sentinel. Jim had asked Simon for some time off so he could take his Guide fishing. He had to laugh, the thought of Sentinel and Guide in a tent was not what he would call fishing. Jim yelled at him again from the bedroom.
"Come on babe, get up here."
"Go to sleep Jim. I have all these papers to fill out."
"Get your sweet little ass up here."
"Oh stop dragging you knuckles on the floor and go to bed."
"You know I can still put my foot up that sweet ass of yours."
"Your foot is the only thing you haven't put up there", Blair said under his breath.
"I heard that Chief." Jim growled.
"I know." Blair giggled.
"Babe, I love you, come to bed."
That was it, he turned off the lights and made sure that the loft was locked up. Jim had said that he loved him and that was all he needed to hear. Nothing else needed to be said after that. All that was needed now was in that bed upstairs. The dancing was over and the steps all but forgotten.