Title: I Won't Turn My Back

Author/pseudonym: Tiger Moon

Email address: tigeressrising@hotmail.com

Rating: G/PG

Status: new, complete

Date: 1.19.99

Archive: yes

Archive author: yes

Archive email address: yes

Series/Sequel: Nope

Category: song WebPages: http://members.aol.com/ATigerMoon/fic.html

Summary: Jim reflects on his friendship with Blair.

Warnings: none. Maybe a spoiler for Sentinel Too for anyone who hasn't seen it by now, but since It just aired, I doubt that's the case.

Tiger notes: This story came about while I was listening to a tape a friend had sent me, on the way home from a play weekend with other friends. It just seemed to fit and Jim did what he always does to me -- started talking and hasn't shut up since. And they say that Blair is the talkative one.

Disclaimer: I don't own them Pet Fly does, they just come visit me once in a while.

/The title and select lyrics came from a Burns Sisters album - "In this World". The Song, 'I Won't Turn my Back' Written by Annie Burns/Bill Lloyd./

I won't turn my back,
You always told me that
Now it's my turn, to pull you through
Go ahead, close your eyes
There's a new sun on the rise
No, I won't turn my back on you

Jim sat at the base of the stairs. Watching. Listening. Waiting. This was the first time he'd been able to be near his guide since he'd pulled Blair's lifeless body from the fountain ten hours earlier. His partner. His best friend.

Weak and hoarse, Blair had forced the doctors to release him and he'd quietly asked Simon to take him somewhere, anywhere but the hospital. Jim had asked Simon to bring him to the loft when Blair was released. And he'd gone on ahead to at least see that there was a bed made and food in the cupboards.

Simon had been the one to support his guide out of the car and up the steps to his bedroom, and helped him into Jim's bed. He knew that Blair had barely consented to Simon bringing him here. But at least his guide would allow him to do this one thing.

Jim leaned his head back against the rough brick wall behind him and stretched his legs out along the step. The lack of furniture aided his desire to stay close to his guide. Had there been a sofa, he risked falling asleep on it in comfort and he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to miss a signal that Blair needed his help. He knew in his gut that it would be a long time before he'd stop monitoring Blair's heart rate and breathing.

From his slightly uncomfortable position he looked back at the events of the day. He'd stood and watched as the EMTs tried to resuscitate Blair and then stop. It was when they were all quiet and staring in disbelief that Blair was gone that he heard the faint stirring of his guide's heart. Tearing himself away from Simon and Brown, he frantically began to resuscitate Blair again. They all had thought he was crazy until Sandburg's body jerked and he began to heave large amounts of water.

He'd stood and watched from behind a glass door when they had poked and prodded a now very irritable Blair with the myriad of tests they'd run to see if the lack of oxygen in his near drowning had done any damage. Now he watched, as best he could, as Blair slept. He didn't want to leave. He couldn't leave. He'd failed Blair once before and he didn't want to do it again. He'd forced Blair away once before and he wanted him to know that he wouldn't do it again. So he'd wait. Wait until Blair woke and he could tell him how wrong he'd been.

There were promises made
that got shattered and broken like mirrors and ice
And we saw ourselves turn cold to the trust
that we shared in our life.
But the heart can hold onto the past
Some of those dreams can be held up at last
This time the faith that we had will shine once again.

Oh yeah, he'd been wrong. He hadn't trusted his friend and look at what happened. He'd thrown him out and left him to the whims of Alex Barnes and almost lost him at the same time. So much for his Blessed Protector role. He'd trashed everything that had been built over the past few years in one fell swoop and now he just hoped that he could rebuild their friendship.

He rose to his feet and waited at the foot of the steps when he heard Blair start coughing. He was ready to climb the stair when he heard the coughing calm. He continued to listen as Blair settled back to sleep and his heart rate and breathing returned to normal, or as near normal as it could be with what he'd been through. The slight rattle in Blair's chest settled to a steady rhythm as his guide fell back asleep.

Jim moved away from the stairs and headed to where the phone rested in the kitchen. He wanted to call to see about having his furniture and Blair's things returned to the loft. It was a first step to rebuilding, letting Blair know he still had a home.

Blair woke sometime later and came slowly down the stairs. He saw Jim had fallen asleep, propped up against the wall.

"Jim," he said weakly as he was about to step over his Sentinel's legs.

Jim came full awake at the sound of Blair's voice. "Chief, is everything okay?" he quickly pulled his legs up so that Blair could easily pass by. It was odd to see the normally active man working in what appeared to be slow motion.

"Yeah." Blair took advantage of the open space and slowly sat level with Jim. "Can we talk?" he asked.

"You bet, Chief."