Email address: Sonia316@mindspring.com

Summary: An old lover of Jim's comes to cascade, could Blair be replaced?

Blair's heart shattered, 'Lover, lover? There was someone else?'

"I'm sorry, let me rephrase that, I'm Jim's old lover. I was supposed to go to Peru with Jim back then but I retired right before. When the call came in that Jim was dead it broke my heart. I just found out that he was alive and living in Cascade, I just had to come see him."

Patrick put the big brown teddy bear, that he had with him next to Jim's head and stroked the soft bristles of the older man's hair. Patrick then took Jim's hand within his own and squeezed it tightly. "Come back to me Jim. I just found you and I don't want to lose you again...." Patrick stopped talking when he felt Jim squeeze his hand faintly.

"Pa...Pat....." Jim said dryly as he pulled the oxygen mask away from his face and grasped Patrick's arm tightly.

"Shhh, calm down precious I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." Patrick settled Jim back against his pillows and gently stroked his cheek.

Blair watched with sad eyes as Jim was instantly soothed by Patrick's voice and touch. Before, Blair thought he was the only one that could soothe the Sentinel that way. He watched the way that Jim held Patrick's arm tightly, refusing to let it go. He wanted to go to Jim and make sure that his lover was all right but he couldn't convince himself to stop their moment.

Blair had moved out of their way so that they could reminisce. He now stood beside the door to Jim's room, only moving to Jim's side when the older man asked for him. He rushed to his lover's side. He peppered millions of kisses over his lover's face, not caring anymore if Patrick saw them. He was satisfied when Patrick pulled away from Jim and went to stand up, but Jim turned away from Blair and reached out and grasped Patrick again. "Don't go, please don't go."

Blair fell back into a chair beside Jim's bed, a million emotions running through his head. Shock, confusion, fear, dispair. Did Jim want Patrick over him? No that couldn't be, he was Jim's Guide and and they were each other's soul mate right, right?

"I'm right here precious," Patrick cooed to Jim until the bigger man relaxed the grip on his arm and settled in for some sleep. Then Patrick looked up from Jim to Blair's stricken face and smiled. "If you let him know that you're there, he settles right down to sleep. Old trick I used to use on tough nights when he had insomnia. Maybe we should go someplace else so Prec...... ummm I mean Jim can get some rest."

"You go," Blair said coolly," I'm going to stay right here by Jim's side."

Patrick sighed and sat down on the other side of Jim's bed. "I don't have anything else to do tonight anyway," he said as he took Jim's hand within his own and gently stroked it.

Cold, wet, tired and feeling more alone than he had ever been in his life. Blair Sandburg watched his lover pace back and forth in the kitchen, trying to decide what to eat.

It had been a few weeks since Jim had been hurt, but Jim now moved around freely, his pain decreasing every day, but at the same time Blair became more and more depressed. Jim left him regularly to go meet Patrick at the bar or some place else. Even when Patrick showed up at the loft, Jim still hovered around him.

He couldn't get over how well Jim worked with Patrick. There were times when he felt his Sentinel start to zone, but all Patrick had to do was place a hand on Jim's back and rub, and Jim was back to normal.

The distance between them was growing more and more every day, hell every minute. Of course Jim was still with him when they laid down to sleep every night but the intimacy seemed to have faded. The 'I love you's' seem to have lost their warmth, the arms that used to hold him tight had loosened and he lay shivering, missing the heat his lover usually had for him, when he wrapped himself around him.

"Jim?", asked silently hesitantly.

"What?", said equally quietly.

"Where are you going?" The answer already known, but he still needed to ask anyway.

"Out, be back later tonight." His jacket was pulled on roughly as he grabbed his car keys out the dish.

"Please, don't go." I know my voice sounds weak, but I can't help it. My voice lost its steel when we had our last couple of fights, talking to Jim when he doesn't want to hear it, is worse than talking to a cement wall. If he doesn't want to hear it, he just ups and leaves. I can't make him stay and argue with me, so I watch him go.

His back stiffens at my request and he stops with his hand on the door knob. I could tell that he was considering my request, when he turned to stare at me with those fathomless blue eyes that I love so much.

"I need to go out for a little while, Chief. I'll be home before you go to sleep." Then he was gone, and I was left, sitting on the couch with my knees propped up to my chest. Staring at the empty space that he had just vacated.

A few days after Patrick showed up, I started to wonder if Jim really needed me. He clung to Patrick like a lifeline, and I kept telling myself that I should stay because I'm the Guide, I have to be there for my Sentinel, but now even that doesn't matter. Patrick could soothe Jim's senses better than I ever could.

So now I have fallen, from a lover and a Guide to something that's just in the way. So I have to fix that, it's the last thing I'm going to do for my Sentinel, my Jim.

I withdrew the bottle of pills from my pocket and shook them. "Just for you, Jim." I whisper into the empty loft.

Jim Ellison sat in his truck and watched as Patrick chatted with the bartender. It had been great seeing Patrick again. He kept remembering how wonderful it had been with Patrick before he went away to Peru.

***

The fire crackled and roared, casting the dark room in a deep amber glow. Two figures sat cuddled on the floor in front of it, wrapped tightly in each others arms. Whispering promises of forever to each other.

Patrick kissed Jim's ear and laid his head in the crook of his lover's shoulder. He smiled when he felt Jim shiver. "Good luck in Peru," he whispered as he pulled Jim closer in the cradle of his lap.

"Hmmmmmm?" Jim moaned sleepily. He and Patrick had been up all night and now Jim was ready to go to sleep. The warmth from Patrick's body wasn't helping either.

Patrick grinned at the man in his arms, the man that he was never letting go. "Nothing, Precious, just close your eyes and go to sleep.", Patrick said as he rocked Jim gently and rubbed soothing circles on his stomach, while singing a sweet melody in his ear.

Jim smiled and moved with Patrick as he drifted off to sleep.

***

Jim smiled at the thought of Patrick putting him to sleep with just a belly rub. He cherished all the time that they had spent together. He watched as Patrick checked his watch, he knew that he was late, but something stopped him from going in there and having a good time with Pat.

Being with Pat was great, he was still the same after all these years, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't, no didn't want to go back to the way it was before he went to Peru.. Blair was a part of him, something he never wanted to lose.

He waved at Patrick, even though he knew the man couldn't see him. "Good-bye, old buddy, it was nice while it lasted," he said sadly as he started the truck and headed home. Only to be blocked by backed up traffic because of a car accident.

***

THE LOFT:

Blair sat on the couch, picking the label on the pill bottle. 'What have I done to make you want someone else, Jim? Even when you're here with me, it still feels like you aren't. You don't touch me anymore, and you act like you can't even stand me being with you.'

"ARRRGH!", Blair swore as he threw the bottle of pills against the wall. Causing the bottle to break, and for tiny white pills to spill across the hard wood floor. "I'm not taking that road man, because I'm not giving up on you."

He got up from the couch and started pacing. "This has gotten out of hand. I don't understand how I allowed that Patrick fella to come into my life and ruin my home", Blair said, waving his hands wildly in the air. "Just wait until that man of mine gets home, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind. He better not bring Patrick back with him or all hells going to break loose." His eyes narrowed dangerously when he thought about Patrick coming to the loft. "You better make up your mind quickly Jim."

***

Patrick checked his watch for the seventeeth time that evening. It was now safe to say Jim wasn't coming, but why would his Jim stand him up. They were getting along so well, it was almost like old times. Patrick was sure that if he could get Jim to forget about that Sandburg character, he would come home with him and they could be happy together. Just like they were before.

Patrick grinded his teeth when he thought about Blair. The only thing that was in the way of taking his Precious back. Why couldn't he see how happy him and Jim were, how well Jim got along with him, how much Jim loved him? Blair could never love Jim as much as he loved him. He was so different from Jim anyway.

Blair must have been the reason Jim didn't show up tonight. He got up from the booth and put his coat on. He angrily slammed a twenty dollar bill on the bar and stormed off. It was time to go set Mr. Sandburg straight. He and Jim belonged together and nothing was going to get in his way.

Patrick reached the apartment building where he knew he would find Blair Sandburg; not spotting Jim's car in the parking lot he made his way up to the loft. It will be better to talk to Blair alone, Jim wouldn't understand that he was doing this for 'them'.

He stood outside of the loft at 852 for several minutes, thinking of the most reasonable way to get Blair to leave with little fuss, and if it elevated to more than that then he would just have to deal with it.

***

Blair was still pacing back and forth, wearing thin the rug beneath his feet when the door knob started to rattle. Blair started for the door on determined feet, Jim was home and it was time to give his lover a piece of his mind, he was not going to be walked on anymore.

"Jim, I'm glad that you're home. It's time that you and I.............", he didn't get to finish his sentence as he came face to face with Patrick Shelly.

The other man ushered himself and Blair back into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind them. "Sorry Kid, but you see Jim isn't coming back here, this isn't home anymore."

Blair looked at Patrick through slitted eyes, and refused to believe a word of what Patrick said, because he wasn't hearing it from Jim's mouth. "I suggest you leave," Blair said, his anger barely controlled. He was not going to spend his time arguing with Patrick, Jim was more important. He reached around Patrick and tried to open the door.

Patrick pushed back against the door hard, not letting Blair open the door. "I'm not leaving Blair, not until you realize that Jim doesn't belong to you, that you two don't belong together."

"We were fine together before you came along."

"And that just goes to show you that Jim was meant to be with me, not you," Patrick said levelly.

Blair tried to yank the door open, but Patrick made the mistake of grabbing his wrist. Blair turned and tried to pull his arms free, but Patrick grabbed him around the waist. Patrick was bigger than Jim, and could easily hold on to Blair as the younger man tried to free his arms and punch him.

Blair wasn't going down without a fight, he stomped Patrick's foot, making the other man release him. Blair then turned around and punched the other man as hard as he could in the face.

Patrick stumbled backward, surprised by the strength that Blair showed, but he wasn't giving up, he lunged at Blair again and tried to tackle him to the ground, but Blair proved to be too quick and he landed on the floor with Blair on top of him.

***

Jim slowly walked up the stairs to the loft, he had stopped off at a flower shop after he had gotten out of traffic. He had to set things right with his lover, though he knew he had been behaving like an ass and it was going to take some time for his lover to forgive him.

He was so preoccupied with thoughts of seducing his lover that he didn't hear the scuffle going on inside the loft until he reached the door, he pulled out his gun and burst through the door, ready to protect his Guide with his bare hands. What he saw stunned him at first, made him stop and just watch.

Patrick lay on the living room floor, looking dazed. Blood streamed from the side of his mouth and nose, but the real shocker was Blair. Blair was on top of him, delivering sharp blows to Patrick's back with his fists.

When Jim was finally able to move again, he pointed his gun at Blair and spoke. "What the hell do you think you're doing Chief, get off of him."

Blair gazed at his lover with an expression of anguish on his face. He stared at the gun still in Jim's hands as he slowly stood up and backed away from Patrick. "Jim, you.....he," he cleared his throat and tried again. "I was defending myself."

Jim gently checked Patrick for serious injuries as he helped him to his feet. "Defending yourself against what? Come on Blair you don't even have a scratch on you and look at him," Jim said as he gently rubbed a hand across Patrick's cheek.

"You can't possibly......"

"Save it Blair, you've been jealous of Patrick since he got here but I didn't think you'd go this far," Jim said as he gently pushed Patrick towards the door. He turned and gave Blair one final glance as he walked out with one arm wrapped protectively around Patrick.

***

Blair watched his lover go, it was all he could do. When the door closed he pounded the door with his fists until they hurt, then he turned around put his back against the door and slid down to the floor. He put his aching hands over his eyes refusing to let the tears fall..........but they came anyway.

"Jim," he sobbed into the once again empty loft.