Title: Stabbing Westward II: Save Yourself

Author: Margaret Brown

Pairing: Rommie/Dylan

Rating: PG/PG-13 for some 'rough language' <lol>

Status: Complete

Archive: Yes to list archive if any, all others please ask first

Feedback: Yes, please!

E-mail address for feedback: phoenyxphiyre@hotmail.com

Series/Sequel: Stabbing Westward, part two of four

Disclaimers: I don't own the characters or the lyrics, just my story ideas.

Summary: Dylan's turn to ponder the sudden rift between himself and Rommie.

Notes: Part Two of the Stabbing Westward series. Another song fic. ::laughs:: My muse smacked me upside the head with this one, too, and once again wouldn't let go, so I figured I'd give this one a shot too. The song this time is Save Yourself by Stabbing Westward, off their album Darkest Days. (Anyone care to hazard a guess as to whether the lyrics would be Dylan talking about/to Rommie or Rommie talking to/about Dylan? I can't decide...) Oh - you'll probably need to read Stabbing Westward I: Shame to really get what's going on here - the notes to it will also be helpful.

Warnings: Spoilers for Star-Crossed still. And even more undiluted angst that could prove even more addictive.

I know your life is empty,
and you hate to face this world alone.
So you're searching for an angel,
someone who can make you whole.

I don't know why I'm being so hard on you all of a sudden - you're hurting enough as it is. It's just that the look in your eyes kills me every time I see it, and I can't do a damn thing to make it go away. And even if I could, my hands are tied... It's wrong of me to take that frustration out on you, I know, but it's the only way I can think of to keep the proper distance between us. Letting myself try to ease your pain would take us both someplace we aren't allowed to go...

I can't help you with this one, Rommie. I'm a bastard for lying when I said I would always be there for you, I know, but I can't be this time...

Every time I see you now, I remember you crying in my arms. It felt good then to be able to comfort you - to be needed by you. Now, I look into those pleading eyes and feel like a complete hypocrite. I shot you in a fit of jealous rage, for God's sake - what right do I have to comfort you? And how the hell is it that you've managed to forget that fact? I almost wish it did matter to you, that you hated me for it as much as I hate myself...

I can't help you, Rommie, I just can't. I don't have the right...

Even after all this time, I still keep half-expecting to wake up from this nightmare. My life - my world - is gone, forever, and I can't get it back no matter how many worlds join my new Commonwealth. You're the one person in the world who understands that, and I insist on pushing you away. That's the only reason I even pay attention to the 'protocol' that keeps us apart - if I keep you at arm's length, I don't have to deal with this crushing loneliness returning even stronger after I lose you, too.

It's so tempting to fall into childish fantasies of you 'lightening my loneliness' - and believe me, you would, if only for a little while - but childish fantasies only come true in fairy tales and holonovels, despite what Trance says.

I can't help you, Rommie. I can't...