EMAIL: AlisonMDobell@aol.com

WEBSITE: http://www.carlajane.50megs.com/Ali00.html

SUMMARY: "While Crichton tries to explain emotions to his captor, Aeryn is determined that no one is going anywhere until they find a way to get him back."

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.

"NOTHING TO DREAM"
A "Farscape" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL


The weight was crushing him. That he was still breathing was due entirely to the light beings that encapsulated him in their living, vibrant life. Their energy muted only by their crippling fear of the Dark. Crichton did not know how he knew that, he just did. Now the Dark was dragging him into his maw and it felt as if his internal organs were being squashed, bones compressed, the whole damn skeleton about to be reduced to dust.

<Hey! Can you stop moving for a microt?>

He felt tension on his body. <Why?>

<Well, if you intend to simply crush me - no reason. If you wanna talk to me I won't be able to do that for much longer. You're far too dense and that density is slowly killing me>

Everything seemed to pause. <What do you feel, John Crichton?>

He was having difficulty speaking. Hard to feel his fingers and toes. Too close to the maw. So cold now. So cold. <I uh I feel c...cold. P...pain. Cr...rushed>

Incredibly it listened to him and drew him out of the maw. The pressure on his chest and body made him feel like a cork bobbing up to the surface again. Relief flooded through him. His emotions fascinated the Dark. <You are....?>

<Happy. That's the word you're looking for> He paused. <You don't get out much, do you?>

<Out? I am out>

<No, no, you misunderstand me. It's an expression of my people. It means you don't mix much, have many friends, that kind of thing>

<Friends?>

<Beings to share eternity with you>

A silence fell. Had he offended the Dark or had it simply got bored with him? <Why would I want beings to share eternity with? My need is only for sustenance>

<If that were true> He said gently. <I'd already be dead. Why am I still alive?>

It was a gamble, he knew, but if he could just get it to think a little more he might be able to turn this thing around. Well, the part of it that represented intellect. <You live because I am curious>

<Curious?>

<Yes. Your manner of being is strange yet you do not threaten me. I am used to fear, anger>

<You mean the negative emotions?>

<Emotions?>

<What I feel>

Another silence. Longer this time. He felt something crawling like a thick oil through his mind. He wanted to shriek out and scream, rip his hair out to claw it out through the pores of his scalp. <What are you doing?>

<Show me>

<Show you what?>

<These *emotions*>

<Oh boy, well the one you're....feeling... now is fear>

<This I know. The others. Show me the others>

<Uh that's kind of hard with you sliding around inside my brain. You're creeping me out>

Silence. Crichton hung in the Dark and wondered what the hezmana was going through that thing's mind or consciousness. Then he felt the creeping sliding sensation touching off memories again. Flashes in his mind that brought tears, laughter, pain, sorrow, joy, sadness, compassion.... Tears ran down his face. The Dark continued to explore, touching off levels in the human that would help it understand. Crichton shook with reaction, trembling as the Dark became more demanding, probing deeper and deeper. The Dark did not know anything about sympathy or the giving or taking of comfort. It knew only need. Slowly it began to understand the human. That it was no threat. Yet it lived. Breathed in the void of space because these other beings, tiny microscopic beings of light, were willing to give of themselves to extend his life. It had not known such a thing before.

<Explain friends>

He shuddered. The Dark had learnt that if he asked a question the answers would be the topmost sensations he could touch and that was what he did now. Reviewing all the friendships Crichton had made from his friends back on Earth, the dogs he had kept as pets and companions, to the beings he had met since being shot through that frelling wormhole. The Dark savoured the human's emotions, some much stronger towards particular beings than others. Then it touched something which over rode all over thoughts. <What is this?>

Crichton's heart and mind were aching. <That's Aeryn>

<Aeryn?>

<The woman I love. My mate. My life's companion>

<You are alone here>

The words were like a jolt to Crichton's heart. A piercing sorrow that touched the Dark. <I am alone because you dragged me off the planet>

<Aeryn is on the planet?>

<Yes>

<What is this emotion you have for Aeryn?>

He sighed, unable now to feel his body at all. <Love. It's called Love>

<You would die for this love?>

<No. I would die for Aeryn>

<That does not make sense. If you die you cannot love>

<If I cannot love I don't wanna live. You got the equation upside down,
inside out, wrong way round>

A longer pause. He felt images of Robert surfacing. More tears fell from eyes that could no longer see, no longer feel. His body was slowly shutting down. Soon he would become a popsickle but none of that mattered if he could keep them safe. <What is this being?>

<R..Robert>

<Robert?>

<Yeah. My son. Or rather Aeryn's son>

<Son?>

<Offspring. Child. Kid. Last of the line...>

<Last?>

<Yeah. Can't father more kids if you die>

<You are dying?>

<Yeah, I guess so>

<Why?>

He wanted to laugh. The Dark had dragged him out of a breathable atmosphere into the cold of the void and was asking him why he was dying? Who said Death had no sense of humour? <I can't live out here. No atmosphere. Too cold. That's why you find beings on planets or in space
ships travelling between planets>

<Do you want to live, John Crichton?>

What was this, a trick question? His face was aching. At least he thought it was. <Yeah. I wanna live but not if it means everybody else has to die>

<Why would you think that?>

<Because of you>

<Me?>

<You do what you do to feed your need, right?>

<Yes>

<You have no hate for me or any other living being, right?>

<Correct>

<But I am not like you. Other beings are not like you. We *need* each other>

<For friends?>

<And for love. For company. Someone to share eternity with>

* * * * *

Robert was crying so hard. It hurt so much. The light beings were sorry they had tricked him. <Why? Why did you have to let him go? I should be with him>

<He loves you, Robert. He would die ten thousand deaths before he would see one hair upon your heard come to harm>

That just made him feel worse. The cold comfort of the grave. He had wanted so badly to help his father and he had failed.

<Come, Robert, we need you>

He did not answer. Not sure he ever wanted to talk to them again.

<Robert? Your father would not want you to sulk>

<I'm not sulking>

<Help us>

<Why?>

<The Dar'ga'nel will die if you don't>

<How can I help you?>

<He needs his light beings returned to him. We need to revive him>

<And I can help how?>

<Willingly go to him>

<I don't understand>

<We are light beings>

<I know>

<We can replace his light>

<If we do that...>

<You will be rid of us. Gone. Is that not what you want?>

Robert found himself in a quandry. He was angry with the light beings but he did not hate them. On some level he even appreciated their loyalty to his father in doing what he would have wanted. It was just so weird. <What do you want me to do?>

<Take his limb and place the end of it on top of your head>

He shuddered at the thought. The Dar'ga'nel was like some shadowy creature, all flaccid limbs and impossible structures made in flesh. An Octopus on acid would have looked normal next to this. <Okay>

<You have to get the fleshy pads in close contact with your scalp>

That made him shiver just thinking about it but he forced himself to feel under the prehensile tip until he found the pads then carefully adjusted the heavy limb until it uncurled flat over his head. He was about to ask what he should do next when all the light beings in his body flowed up through the top of his head and into the tentaculared limb. So creepy, so continuous they flowed almost like a liquid. Then just as suddenly they were gone. Robert felt lonely. Bereft of their gentle presence. No comfort in paradise. He had to clamp a hand over his nose and mouth as his lungs chased an atmosphere that was not there. The limb on his head moved slightly then light flushed through the Dar'ga'nel and the Elder woke up. Realised instantly that the boy could not breathe and drew him close then folded his fleshy limbs inside out over him. The couple of remaining limbs propelling him as quickly as his body could flow to the sealed door back into the rest of the complex. Once through the door he sealed it and continued racing on urgent limbs looking for something he could not find.

Aeryn Sun was wandering in dazed grief. Not responding to Ka D'Argo. As she rounded another of the interminable corridors in the complex she almost ran into the Squa'lik'na Elder. He stopped abruptly, flushed a brilliant yellow then unfolded his limbs gently to reveal her son safely cocooned inside. Aeryn gasped and took him into her arms, tears falling as she embraced one she had believed lost to her forever. "Thank you!"

D'Argo looked passed the Dar'ga'nel and frowned. "Where is John?"

The Dar'ga'nel flushed a murky brown. "Gone."

The Luxan did not say anything else. It was what he had feared. The emptiness and sorrow in his heart was a desolate place that could never be filled. The Dar'ga'nel sensed his sorrow. Shared his pain.

"How long do we have left?" Asked Ka D'Argo. He said *we* but he was thinking of Aeryn and Robert.

"I do not know. All should have been consumed by now. We do not know why the Dark is waiting."

Aeryn's head came up, looking at him through the glass of her tears. "Waiting? What makes you say that?"

The Dar'ga'nel rolled his limbs in what could have been the equivalent of a shrug. "The Dark never hesitates, pauses or deviates. It only consumes."

"Until now." Said D'Argo with a tinge of wonder.

Aeryn looked at him. "What are you thinking, D'Argo?"

"That John must still be alive."

The Dar'ga'nel did not correct him. D'Argo's eyes narrowed at the Squa'lik'na.

"But then you already know that, don't you?"

"I suspect, I do not *know*."

"We have to get him back."

"We cannot take Ka D'Argo, the Dark must give."

Aeryn felt her heart miss a beat. "How do we make it give him back?"

For a microt the Dar'ga'nel did not speak. Robert pulled out of his mother's arms to stare at him. All eyes on him, the Dar'ga'nel spoke. "The only one who can persuade the Dark to let him go is John."

D'Argo snorted angrily. "And if he is unconscious, unable to speak, what then?"

The Elder did not reply. The answer so obvious none were willing to embrace the pain of putting it into words. After several microts of silence the Dar'ga'nel stirred itself. "Where is your ship?"

"Moya?"

"Yes, Moya."

The Luxan huffed. "She has gone to Star Burst."

Aeryn nodded, approving of the leviathan's tactics. "Good. She will return for us when it is safe."

The Dar'ga'nel's colours were changing quite rapidly now, as if confused. "Safe?"

` "Yes," Said Aeryn calmly. Her will giving her words the weight of certainty. "When this calamity is over and John returns."

Everyone just stared at her but Aeryn would not even think of any other outcome. She fixed her eye on the Dar'ga'nel. "Your eminence, if John succeeds in somehow preventing the Dark from consuming this world will you release myself and Robert from our contract?"

D'Argo held his breath. At last. Now he would find out what that was all about. The Dar'ga'nel hesitated but not because he was unwilling. He was conferring telepathically with the council. "Yes, Aeryn Sun. If we survive this threat you and your son will be free to go where you please.
You will also be free to return to us any time you wish and know that here you may have a home. Without persecution. Without fear. A safe haven to raise your family in peace."

She nodded abruptly. Too much emotion to speak. Robert looked up at her and she hugged him fiercely to her heart. Now was the time for Zhaan and her prayers. But Zhaan was gone. She would have to pray for all of them.

* * * * *

"We're in the rifts along the roads of joy and sorrow
Through the sunshine and the storms of living
No one knows where this road goes they say it's tomorrow
Another town and time is unforgiving.
If we could have all the things we longed for
All the loving treasures that we seek
This whole world would lead us to nowhere
'Cause there'd be nothing, nothing left to dream..."

- 'Nothing Left to Dream' sung by Jacqui & Bridie