TITLE: "RELIEVING SHADOWS"

AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL

FANDOM: "Farscape"

PAIRING: John/Aeryn

RATING: PG-13

STATUS: New.

ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.

FEEDBACK: Welcomed

SERIES/SEQUEL: SEQUEL to "SET IN STONE"

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.

"RELIEVING SHADOWS"
A "Farscape" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL

He woke in light. In fact everything was light, the colours flowing through him, around him. He blinked. In awe. His senses divorced from his physical being but not his ability to think, observe, evaluate and drink in the rainbow that held and pulsed through him. How the hell did he know that? It was so weird. The light was intensely bright yet he could look at it directly without hurting his eyes. In fact the pulses of the lightwaves seemed to be directly proportionate to his thoughts. <Oh wow Dad, you have got to get a load of this!>

The light touched him gently, the colours flexing through a pastel rainbow that soothed him. He felt so damn good and oddly safe. He did not wonder what he was doing there or how he got there or even if he *was* there. This could all be a dream or he could just be going plain old bonkers but hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it. This was a gas. An experience of a lifetime and he did not want to miss any of the peculiar fascination that was slowly exciting his brain with such delicate sensations. He paused his thoughts and felt a touch in his mind. So gentle. So subtle it could have been no more than his imagination but instinct told him differently. He exuded calm and peace, not wanting to frighten off whatever entity was reaching out to him. This was just so beyond his normal experiences. The kind of thing Zhaan would understand intuitively and not even question. Zhaan. The thought of her sent a wave of love through him, it rippled in his mind in delicious yellows and faint exotic oranges. <Wow, Dad. *I* did that>How did he know that?

*You are aware of us?*

The alien thought was gentle, the pulse of light a wonderful electric blue. In his mind Crichton smiled. He had no idea if that translated to his sleeping self or whether he was hallucinating but it felt so real and he was riven with curiosity and awe. <Yeah, I'm aware of you, whoever and whatever you are>

*We need to ask you something if you are ready for conversation*

His smile if anything just got wider. Blazing white light now pulsing clear and bright around him. He felt humour from the entity entertaining his mind. <I have never been accused of not being ready to talk>

*You are unlike any being we have ever visited before*

He chuckled in his mind. The reverberations were like waves on the seashore, rocking the colours and alternating them in a most delightful way. Funny. It did not make him seasick. He found it a joyous thing and so soothing. <Who are you? I mean my name is John Crichton. No offence but
are you one or many?>

His question amused the entity. *We are*

<Yeah, I got that part but you are what?>

*Being is sometimes enough, John Crichton*

<Just John, okay?>

*John?*

<Yeah. So what am I doing here and where is here? And what in hezmana do I call you guys?>

More humour. Delicious waves of it lifting his emotional centre on a great tidal wave of peace. It was so exotic and left him craving more. Or was he simply doped up, sailing on a sea of the alien equavalent of endomorphines? Who cared, it sure beat getting his ass kicked all over the Uncharted Territories.

*John, we are sharing your consciousness for now. Your hosts have detected injury in your brain. They are concerned for you and have tried to remove the primary cause. The lesions are deep, gouges in places that are left like raw festering wounds. We are anxious. Worried for you*

He felt so moved that it was difficult to articulate an adequate response. The entity was patient and let him take his time. <You could say I've been through a lot...>

*The foreign matter has been removed. Its' influence repelled*

<Thank you>

*Do you have pain, John?*

<Are you kidding? I'm like on the biggest high possible. Just don't tell me I'll face withdrawal symptoms when I come back down again>

*Down?*

<An expression>

*John you are not up*

That made him laugh so much all the light flickered and sparkled, the colours getting all mixed up but strangely enough not blending. As if the colours maintained their own identities even in the looney landscape of his brain. It gave him an idea. <What kind of being are you?>

*You perceive us as light*

He felt so damn happy. He knew it. They were light!

*Why does this please you?*

He was not sure how to explain that one. <It's kinda difficult to explain but you feel good. You soothe me, amuse me, are tolerant and - if I am picking this up right - are concerned about me. That is not something that has happened to me a whole lot in the UTs>

*UTs?*

<Unchartered Territories>

*We know you have been abused*

He did the mental equivalent of rolling his eyes. Not wanting to go there, to get depressed and upset by the past. The light rippled softly through his consciousness and he found it buoyed him up, protected him from the painful memories that would haunt him for a lifetime. He felt absurdly
grateful. <So are you guys all one being? Or are there many of you talking with one voice, listening with one ear, if you know what I mean?>

The light intuited his meaning perfectly. *We are many but we are in concert*

<You mean you sing?>

That amused the light. It seemed to understand the meaning of a pun. He felt the humour wash through him. Such a beautiful feeling, he could stay with these guys forever. *If by sing you mean vibrate, yes. We can vary our vibratory rate to do many things. To touch perceptions that only sleep in the conscious mind and have no waking reality*

<Dream. You're talking about dreams?>

*A dream is a soul awake remembering the possiblities of eternity*

<Man, would my friend Stark love you guys>

*Stark?*

<Yeah. Banik. A Stykera. Amazing man>

*Stykera* Said the light, pulsing with a kind of mysterious joy.

<You know his people?>

*All light knows light, John*

<Yeah, well not all people know people. You're gonna have to do better than that to explain>

*No explanations, just knowledge*

That gave him pause for thought. <How can you have knowledge without explanation?>

*Would you dilute what you know in order to understand it?*

<I'm not sure what you mean>

*Intuition is the passive notice of certainty. When it is accepted it flows uninterrupted from consciousness to consciousness. Try to fix it in one place and you tear and fragment it because it's nature is in motion not in stillness*

<Hey, you guys are really into phsyics aren't you? I bet you could make sense of quantum gravity and make it all look like child's play>

*We need to know how your brain became damaged, John*

The thought hurt him. The light pulsed gently, touching his mind so delicately carrying away the memory of pain. <Why do you need to know that?>

*So that we can heal you*

Wow. That was unexpected. <Heal me? You guys can do that?>

*Sometimes*

He just knew this would not be one of those times. The entity knew his thoughts, tasted his fear.

*John, enduring so much allows you to survive. It does not equip you to heal*

<I'm not sure we're on the same page>

*What happened to cause this injury?*

He paused and decided to go with his instinct and trust the light. Hell. What did it matter if they were just out to screw him? At least they were playing nice for now and that was an improvement on everything else that had happened to him. <I have knowledge in my brain that someone else wants. When he could not get the information out of me he stuck a neural clone in my head. I've been tortured and had my memories extracted and all kinds of stuff that has left me kind of damaged>

*The trauma has been very great*

<Yeah, tell me about it>

He began to feel desperately tired.

<Um, I think I need to sleep now>

The entity did not speak to him this time but he knew they understood. Approved even. It was odd but the light seemed to acquire density, mass. It cradled him gently, took his consciousness in the layers of its' own light and for a time he knew no more.

* * * * *

When Yar'keth brought Aeryn into the circle of Elders he was allowed to remain to observe. The Dar'ga'nel began with a variety of questions about her mate John Crichton. Aeryn frowned. She did not like that. A suspicion forming in the back of her mind. "What does any of this have to do with John?"

"He is your mate."

"What he is, is no concern of yours."

Yar'keth felt nervous. Unhappy. The Sebacean was getting upset and that would not benefit anyone. The Elder calmed his own aura before continuing. "He is of concern to us."

Aeryn's suspicion solified into a hard solid mass in the pit of her stomach. "He's here, isn't he?"

"Yes."

Anger flared before she could control it. "How dare you! You have no right to imprison him. He has done nothing wrong!"

Alarmed, Yar'keth tried to calm her. The Dar'ga'nel waved him back. "He is not imprisoned and if you calm down we can let you see him. But if you act like this you will upset him and we cannot allow that."

His words surprised her so much she fell silent. Confused. Baffled. The Elder sounded almost protective. "What do you mean he isn't imprisoned?"

"He is being assessed."

A shiver ran through her. Assessed. Oh no, no that.

"Your concern is misplaced, Aeryn Sun."

"My concern is legitamate. I want to see John before we go any further."

"No. You will be allowed to see him later if you co-operate."

Her heart sank, heavy and filling with sorrow. "Let him go."

"He is injured."

Her heart lurched. "Injured? What happened?"

"We do not know but when we were assessing him we found damage in his brain."

Aeryn closed her eyes, her legs almost failing to support her. Tears leaked from beneath the closed lids. Yar'keth dared to touch her with a tentacled arm, his fleshy pads touching her pulse on the side of her neck. She did not throw the limb off, knew he was not intending harm and was too intent on what the Elder had to say to pay the young Squa'lik'na any heed. "Let him go, your eminence." She asked quietly. "He is no threat to you, he's not even Sebacean."

"We know."

"Then you know you have nothing to fear from him."

"We are not afraid of him but concerned for him."

She frowned. "Concerned? Why?"

"Aeryn Sun, you come to us four times a cycle for assessment. You carry our most precious cargo and deliver it up to us at the end of each cycle. For this reason alone you are precious to us."

"What does that have to do with John?"

"He is your mate."

"That is none of your business."

The Elder did not correct her again. Realised Aeryn's words were almost reflexive. "We think we can help him."

"Help him how?"

"Go home Aeryn Sun. We will call for you to attend us tomorrow then you make speak with him."

"I want to see him now."

"No."

"I demand to see John right now!"

The Elder turned to the others round the council table and Aeryn watched the changing hues of their limbs, their head combs varying in intensity. After several microts of discussion the chief elder turned back to her, his limbs rippling and colours swirling as a sign of his agitation. "Tomorrow you may return or not at all."

Shock raced through her. What did he mean by that? "You would keep me out?"

"If you will not obey, yes."

"Why won't you let me see him?"

The Dar'ga'nel realised she was close to tears. "Go home," He said gently. "Be with your son. Do not be alarmed. Tomorrow we will explain everything, we will show you. Tomorrow you can be with your mate."

Before she could question him further the entire council broke up and disappeared on a sea of rippling limbs leaving her standing alone and lost with Yar'keth anxiously hovering beside her. Aeryn looked at the small bag she had brought with her. A set of clothes to change into and some clensing creams. Gently Yar'keth touched her shoulder. "Come, Aeryn. Let us go home. You need to relax, sleep. Then return tomorrow."

"How can you ask me to do that?"

"For John."

She blinked and gave him a blank look. "For John?"

"Yes. He loves you very much."

Tears spilled down her face. "I know."

"And you love him too. It is a gift to be kept and treasured not thrown away in rage."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Let's walk back to your house. On the way I will explain as best I can."

"What's to stop me staying here and finding John?"

"You do not understand Aeryn and that would endanger a great many things you would not wish to come to harm."

A chill ran through her. "Are you threatening me, Yar'keth?"

Alarmed at her words his colours swirled with distress, the colours darkening into a worried slush. "I would never threaten you."

"Would you threaten John?"

He paused. Aeryn watched fascinated as the young Squa'lik'na calmed down, his colours muted to lovely soft pastels, flowing at last into a gentle yellow tinged with pale orange. "No."

Wonder crept into her voice. Wonder and suspicion. "You've met him, haven't you?"

"Yes."

Aeryn nodded recognising the signs. Realising she had no option but to leave and return the next day she let Yar'keth lead her out of the building and began to walk slowly back to her house. A sideways look at Yar'keth made her shake her head in disbelief. How did he do it? Unless she was very much mistaken another alien being had been irreversibly contaminated by the strange human creature known as John Crichton.

* * * * *

Ka D'Aro was pacing when Aeryn returned. He glowered darkly at Yar'keth. Robert hurried to his mother, took her hand and stared up into her eyes. She swallowed hard and hunkered down. "Your father is being assessed, Robert. We can go and see him tomorrow."

He seemed to ignore her words, searching her face for the story behind them. She gave a half hearted smile and thanked Yar'keth for escorting her back. He seemed pleased by the courtesy. "I will return for you tomorrow, Aeryn Sun."

She nodded and shut the door after him. D'Argo did not look happy. "What have they done to John?"

"He is being assessed D'Argo. We will see him tomorrow."

Anger raced through him so fiercely that it took effort for him to squeeze words out of his throat. "I am NOT waiting until morning, Aeryn!"

"D'Argo, we can't get to him now."

"Perhaps you cannot," Said D'Argo, deliberately charging up his qualta blade into rifle mode. "But *I* can!"

Alarmed Aeryn tried to stop him but he pushed passed her. "No, D'Argo, stop!"

But she was already talking to the empty air. The door swinging free where the angry Luxan had flung it open and stormed out. Tears pricked her eyes, her heart traumatised. Robert tugged her hand. She looked down at impossibly blue eyes, saw his worry, his caring, his unquestioning love and all she could see was John. She hugged him and cried. Robert felt tears prick his eyes but tried to stay strong. To think of something, anything, that could help his mother and reunite them with his father. He held on tight to her, instinctively knowing they had to find a way to stop D'Argo doing something they would all regret. "Mom?"

She pulled back to see his face, brushing the hair from his eyes as he gazed back at her with calm conviction. "We need a plan."

Aeryn put her hand over her mouth, tears spilling. John's words. John's eyes. Oh hezmana. Robert squeezed her hand gently, his eyes trying to calm down her fears. Yes. This was truly John's son.

* * * * *
end