TITLE: "CLOSE ENOUGH"

AUTHOR: Alison M. DOBELL

FANDOM: "Farscape"

PAIRING: John/Aeryn

RATING: NC-17

STATUS: New.

ARCHIVE: Yes. Just let me know where.

FEEDBACK: Welcomed

SERIES/SEQUEL: First story in the 'Uncertain Foe' Series

SUMMARY: "Years have passed since Aeryn left John on Moya after the death of Talyn-John. Still the human cannot stop searching for her. D'Argo has returned to be with his friend. Everyone else but Moya is now gone."

The usual disclaimers apply. No infringement of copyright is intended.

"CLOSE ENOUGH"
A "Farscape" story
Written by Alison M. DOBELL

The boy was no more than eight cycles old but he knew. The microt he saw the man walk in off the dusty street. A kind of electricity buzzed through him. An excitement that churned him up inside with so many emotions competing for ascendance. The man dressed like a Peace Keeper. Long black duster over black leather pants and a red and black waistcoat but the clothes were worn. Nothing crisp and military about them. Not any more. The gait was loose limbed and casual. He could not take his eyes off him. Fretted inwardly when the man moved back out on to the street. He should have told her but if he did that he would lose sight of the man. His mother would also be likely to over react. After all these years he knew her so well.

Part of his thoughts followed the man. Another part thought about the past. The pieces his mother gave him and the pieces she witheld. Truths that would never fall from her lips to his ears. It hurt him but not as much as her decision hurt herself. He knew. Like his father before him, he could
see it in her eyes. What could you do to heal someone who refused to acknowledge they were in pain? Someone who would run away from the answer? Yet he wanted to know. Needed to make contact even if only for this one time in his life. Shuttering back the tears of hope, pain, loss and longing he left his hiding place and began to shadow the man.

At first he seemed to just drift from stall to stall. Not stopping long enough to buy anything. His eyes hooded, a pre-occupied air about him that made it difficult to predict what he was doing. The boy almost melted into the background and turned back at the sight of a huge male Luxan. He held his breath. The warrior paused, cast his eyes around, then spotted the human and made his way over to him. The boy ducked down and watched. Not realizing he was holding his breath.

"There you are! I have been searching this dren infested squag pit for arns. Why did you wander off?"

"I didn't wander off, D. I was looking around."

The Luxan snorted. Clearly not impressed with the human's pathetic explanation. "This is the hundredth place we have looked, John. When are you going to accept that you will not find her?"

Crichton looked at him, squinting up at his friend. A deep crease across the bridge of his nose. "Let me ask you a question, D. How long would you search if it was for Lo'lann?"

The Luxan opened his mouth then snapped it shut again. Crichton was right. He calmed quickly and spoke in a much softer tone. Understanding and emotion both evident in his voice. "This is not healthy, John. She does not want to be found."

The human was sad. His heart heavy and just as lost as it was nine cycles ago. "I know big guy, I know, but..." He broke off, not able to finish the sentence.

D'Argo patted his shoulder. "Take as long as you want, my friend. I will wait for you at the transport pod. I will not leave without you."

Crichton nodded. "Thanks, D."

The boy watched the big Luxan go. His heart beating so loud he wondered that the human could not hear it. He was frantic with excitement. Could it be? Was he looking for *them*? The Luxan had said he had searched *hundreds* of planets. Awe then emotion pierced him. The human was moving again. The boy fell into step with his shadow, a tentative smile on his lips. For the first time in cycles his heart trod the ragged path of hope.

They were coming to the end of the market district. Still the human had bought nothing. His sad blue eyes crinkled in the bright light, gazing off into the distance as if he could see beyond the confines of this commerce planet to untold worlds to come. He looked so tired. Heart sore yet not
defeated. The boy made a decision, determined not to lose this one chance. He stepped out of the man's shadow. No more than a metra behind where the human had stopped. Crichton did not turn round. "I don't have any money if that's what you're after."

The boy's mouth dropped open in surprise. Amazed that the human had heard him. Did he know he had been following him? Crichton turned slowly and was surprised to see a curious pair of blue eyes look into his own. All of the air left his lungs. Time ceased to have any meaning. For a few microts they simply stared at each other. It was the boy who broke the spell. His voice tinged with a kind of awe that made Crichton's heart ache.

"You came!"

He looked at the boy a microt longer, a hint of amusement in his eyes. The humour sliding into a voice warm and gentle. Openly appraising him but with no hint of aggression. "So it would seem."

"I knew you would."

Crichton's heart missed a beat. "How would you know that?"

The boy smiled. A wisdom in those youthful eyes that had been paid for at a price. Crichton shivered slightly. Anticipation. Joy. Sorrow. Lost years. All crowded in on him.

"I know you..." Said the boy with quiet confidence. "You're John Crichton."

"Guilty as charged." He paused and hunkered down to bring himself eye level with the boy. "What's your name?"

"Robert."

Crichton looked initially stumped. Robert? Then a slow smile of pleasure and warmth swept over his face and bowed his lips, wiping years of pain and frustration from him. It made him look cycles younger. Robert. A human name. Not his. But close enough. He laughed. Aeryn had named the boy after Robert Delaney. The only boy from High School who had beaten him into a pulp three years running. Trust Aeryn to find significance in the name. He tilted his head at the boy. "I think it's time you took me to see your mom."

Worry flickered in the boy's expressive eyes even as his heart leapt at what it meant. He had come. It was *him*. He was suddenly terrified that everything would go to hezmana from here. His mother. How could he tell her. Explain. Stop her going completely bartantic the microt she found out? Crichton seemed to read his thoughts so easily it was spooky. He put a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave him a conspirational grin. "It's okay, Robert. Let me handle Aeryn. 'Kay?"

The boy smiled, nodded, tears in his eyes then hugged him. Surprised and moved by the unexpected show of affection, Crichton wrapped his arms around the boy and held him close. Tears of joy running down his face. His son but not his son. It did not matter. This was Aeryn's child and there was no way in hezmana he could not love him. He stood slowly, the boy still in his
arms. He had to get out of the middle of the street. Who knew what dangers there might be? If anything happened to the boy now he did not think his heart would be able to take it.

* * * * *

The Squa-lik'na watched the little scene with interest. The boy was born on this world but was not a native of it. Who was the stranger? And why did the boy go to him? He looked like a Peace Keeper but one who had fallen on hard times. His triple eyes narrowed, his head ridge flowed through several colours like an octopus trying to merge with an unusual background. It was the only sign that he was upset. The woman was useful. Would the male now change that? If so he was a threat that needed to be eliminated. Unless. The woman could turn him to the same offer that had been given to her. A life hidden and unmolested on this backwater world in return for the only currency she had to give. Her freedom. Yes. He would watch closely.

* * * * *

Their home was modest but clean. Three rooms kept spotless plus a bathroom of sorts with a confusing array of water jets set into the four walls. It reminded him of a communal shower except that the water jets were not at head height but all over the walls, top to bottom, and in the ceiling and floor too. Man, you could have a shower in ten seconds flat and not have a dry spot on your entire body. Was that neat or just excessive? He realized the profusion of water jets was to accommodate every possible physiology. It made sense. When on Retirri Prime and all that. But the real prize was the look on Aeryn's face. Her mouth dropped open in shock, tears glistened in eyes that had never forgotten him. Not for a single lonely microt. They did not say anything. One microt they were staring at each other, the next they were locked in an embrace that broke the damn of cycles of pent up emotions. Aeryn kept touching his dear face, her tear filled eyes saying sorry, her heart, body and soul crying out for him. Crichton kissed her lips but she kept pulling away just for the pleasure of looking at him, reassuring herself that he was really here. In the flesh. Not a dream. Still less a nightmare.

Robert watched in happy delirium, hands knotted together as he wished and hoped and set his heart on being a family. Though he had no concept of the word in his vocabulary, his heart knew what it wanted, the missing pieces of his life falling to the scythe of a wrong turn in the road of life. It did not matter now. Nothing did. His father was home. His mother still loved him. And Robert stood in a joy so deep and fierce that he thought his very heart would burst. He watched how tender and loving they were with each other and smiled. Just then Crichton looked across at him, grinned and opened one arm out to invite him to join them. Robert ran to him, accepted the embrace and felt a kiss on his brow, the warmth of his welcome so deep that he knew instantly that he was loved. Aeryn looked at Crichton, was so moved at how effortlessly and unconditionally he accepted the boy as his own. As she always knew he would. Why had she been so frelling stubborn? What in hezmana had she been so afraid of that was worth losing this? Yes, his twin had died and she had loved him. But she had loved this John Crichton first. Maybe he was not the same as the twin she had lost. But he was close enough.

* * * * *

Ka D'Argo took his time going back to the transport pod. Taking the opportunity to replenish their dwindling supplies. Crichton may not have his mind fixed on the mundane but someone had to think ahead. Be practical. He commed Pilot and updated him. Made sure all was well with him and Moya. When asked how long they would be he put the shrug of uncertainty in his voice. "Who knows? This is Crichton."

The com cut off and D'Argo finished stowing their supplies on board then looked out across the landing platform at the odd lifeforms that occupied this equally odd planet. They seemed such a disparate mix of beings he would never have dreamt of seeing them all together. Air breathers with water dwellers. Odd. The tentacled and dominant Squa-lik'na undulating across the ground in the same parsec as Denarians. He frowned. The two species were normally deadly enemies. Then there were various bidpedals like himself and Crichton. Alike but not alike. Two limbs to walk on, two appendages for manipulating food and resources. Eyes roughly where a head should be. They were not so different. He felt an undercurrent of concern. What were all these species doing here on this singularly boring lump of rock? Commerce Planet. That was a cosmic joke. It was little more than a place to barter for crumbs rather than the whole pie. The food was poor but adequate. You would not starve to death on this planet but neither would you grow fat. The Peace Keepers would love it. It was a model of dull mediocrity.

* * * * *

He wanted to make love to her. Show her how much he had missed her, how much his heart and body ached for her. She felt the same but was shy about the boy. Crichton kissed her lightly, raising a hand to brush the hair from her face and tuck it gently behind her ear. An action that was uniquely his.

"I want to make love to you, Aeryn."

She blushed. Not expecting him to actually say it out loud. He grinned and dropped a light kiss on her nose, knowing exactly what was bothering her. He looked at Robert, ran a hand through the boy's jet black hair. Aeryn had it cut short but whoever had cut the boy's hair had been a real butcher. The hair was not cut level but he would put that right. All in good time. First he had to establish some basics. "Robert, I know this is kind of sudden for you. Me turning up out of the blue..."

Robert grinned and interrupted him. "No, I knew you'd come."

The boy's eyes were shining so brightly, his conviction so firm, that for a microt Crichton was lost for words. Aeryn's lips twitched with amusement. "You couldn't know, Robert."

"I did. Mom always said you loved her more than life. No way would you not come looking for her. For us."

His simple assumption made Crichton want to cry. A lump rose in his throat. He took a half step from Aeryn and knelt in front of the boy. "You know what Robert?" He said gently. "You are absolutely right." He paused and wondered how much to say then decided to just be direct about it. "I love your mom so much, Robert, and I am never gonna leave her again. But right now, I've missed her so bad, I need to show her how much. To love her. How do you feel about that?"

The boy looked at Aeryn, saw that she was smiling. Saw how gentle her eyes became whenever she looked at Crichton. He smiled at Crichton. "I know about sex, father. I wouldn't be here without it."

Crichton was shocked, Aeryn laughed. Robert looked from one to the other with a frown on his face until Crichton chuckled and caught him up in a big bear hug. Standing up he swung the boy round and round and round in his arms until all three of them were laughing.

* * * * *

The Squa-lik'na was able to roll his supple extending limbs up walls and across ceilings. Pads much like the suckers on an octopus but much more versatile and sensitive. Like the tips of a human's fingers, each pad was highly sensitive. The endless flow of his motion made it look to the untrained eye as if he were swimming through a sea of fluid limbs. Now he peered down through a ceiling port and watched the reunion. He knew he should go and report the change in situation but wanted more knowledge first. Would the male stay or would he simply wish to mate with the female then leave? It was the way of many transient species and the woman had been alone on Retirri Prime for almost nine cycles. For all he knew the boy could have been sent to look for a suitable mate. It did not necessarily follow that they crawled out of the same pod. No. He would be criticized if his information was incomplete. He settled and conformed his body shape to the roof space, his colouration blending so completely with his surroundings that had anyone bothered to look up he would have been as good as invisible.

Aeryn took Crichton's hand and led him into the bedroom. She wanted to close the door but Crichton insisted she leave it open. Time enough to shut themselves away once the boy was used to them being together. He had certainly surprised Crichton with his practical acceptance of their bond, had shown no shock or disgust at their desire to have sex. Shutting him out now would be tantamount to drawing lines the boy could not cross. Later, once the boy was completely settled and used to the situation, that would be the time to explain the concept of privacy. Right now he just wanted to show the boy he was not going to do anything behind his back. That making love was nothing to be ashamed of, not when the heart and soul were so freely given.

"I don't know if this is a good idea." Murmured Aeryn, watching her son's small face from the doorway.

"I know sunshine. On my home world what I'm proposing would be seen as one step down from child pornography but Robert has your sensibilities Aeryn not mine."

She frowned slightly. Both were now naked, lying on top of the bed just touching each other and talking. Robert smiled at them and they smiled back at him. Aeryn felt very weird about this. "What do you mean, *my* sensibilities?"

He buried his face in her hair and inhaled a scent more precious to him than the air he breathed. "You were a Peace Keeper Aeryn. To you sex was just a function of the body."

Aeryn almost winced. Not because it was true but because it now sounded so detached, so crass. She marveled at how much Crichton had changed her. Crais had been right but for all the wrong reasons. She was irreversibly contaminated by John Crichton. In the name of Cholok she had never been given a more precious gift.

"Now Robert has those same values. He will only think it odd or perverted if we act like it is. Treat it as natural and so will he. Once he realises what we are doing, that we are simply loving each other, then the novelty will wear off and so will any fear."

"Fear?"

He slid a hand over a breast, massaging it and rubbing his thumb back and forth over the nipple to harden it into a little round pebble of desire. The capstone of a most delightful pyramid. "Yeah. Fear of the unknown, Aeryn. Right now that's me. More specifically, me doing this to you."

Aeryn groaned as he lathed her nipple with his tongue then sucked, her body reacting to his every touch. "John, I..."

"What baby?" He mumbled, his mouth still full.

His voice was husky, hers was breathless. He raised his head and kissed her lips, sighing into her mouth with deep content and joy as their kiss deepened, her hand sliding between his legs to caress him. Both forgetting the eyes on them from within the room and above. They made love slowly, a beautiful expression of all the gifts a heart could give written in the flesh and shared without holding anything back. She loved him so much. He adored her more than life itself. The boy smiled as they climaxed and left quietly, closing the door softly behind them. Once in the other room he chuckled and hugged himself and wondered whether they were making him a brother or a sister. He wished for the hundredth time that he had friends. He wanted to run outside and yell at the top of his lungs that his father was home. That his mother was happy. That he was the luckiest boy in the whole frelling Universe. But for now the secret was his alone and something wonderful opened up inside him and told him in no uncertain terms, that nothing would ever be the same again.

* * * * *

The Dar'na'gel flushed his comb. The Squa-lik'na scout was nervous. His colours changing so rapidly that the elder Squa-lik'na flared a tubular extremity from his feeding orafice much like a fat proboskis at him. The inference for him to calm down was unmistakable.

"Yar'keth, the Peace Keeper you say came alone?"

The scout tried not to babble. "Yes, Dar'na'gel. His transport carried another, not Peace Keeper."

The Dar'na'gel, or elder, sucked in his cone. "Not Peace Keeper?"

Yar'keth slowly flushed from blue to green. The pulses of colour throbbing through his soft exterior walls like lights behind glass and filling his sensitive comb with the dominant flare of colours. "He had tenkas."

"Ah, a Luxan."

"Yes, yes, that was the species."

The Dar'na'gel stroked the nervous scout with one of his limbs, rubbing the comb along his top ridge until his colour turned a vibrant yellow and pale orange. When he found the colour that pleased him he spoke again. "Is the male a threat to us?"

Much calmer now, Yar'keth found it easier to be objective. "No. He seems only to care for mating with the female."

"Then he will go?"

Yar'keth's colour turned a murky brown. Dar'ga'nel stroked his comb more intimately this time, using the sensitive pads on the underside of his limb to induce the calm he required. Yar'keth turned a vibrant shade of yellow. "I do not know. The boy wants him to stay."

"The boy can have no say. What of the female?"

Yar'keth was feeling quite calm now. "I think they wish to stay together."

For several dozen microts neither spoke. The Retirri Prime Hegemony was a mere outpost for the Squa-lik'na but it was important. A listening post that was highly sensitive and had to be protected at all costs. "You will continue to watch him. If there is any indication he suspects or tries to contact their First Command you know what you must do."

Yar'keth's colour flashed between burnt orange and murky brown. "He seems so peaceful...." he dared nervously. On the brink of distress.

"He is a Peace Keeper!" Boombed the elder, his inflated cone extending like a brilliant red foghorn.

"Your pardon, esteemed Dar'ga'nel, I saw them mate. It was.... unexpected."

"Unexpected?"

"Tender."

The Dar'ga'nel watched the colours of the scout turn pastel then flow seemlessly back to the yellow. Once calm again there was a faint throb of orange like a descant to the main colour. "Peace Keepers are brutal. They are not *tender*."

"Then perhaps this one is not a Peace Keeper?"

The elder fell silent. Stroked Yar'keth's top comb absently, his own colours taking on the vibrant yellow of the scout. "Observe a little longer then if you can bring this specimen to me."

Yar'keth started to turn brown. The Dar'ga'nel stroked him again, varying the rythym to keep the tie between them strong. Unbroken. Loyalty at all costs was the Squa'lik'na way. "Dead or alive?"

"Alive," Soothed the elder, knowing that for some odd reason the scout was showing signs of attachment to the Peace Keeper male. If he did not know better he would suspect him of being protective. Unusual in their own rather complex species. Rarer still towards others. "Why are you so concerned that we do not harm him?"

"He is... gentle. Cares for his mate. Even the child."

"Ah. Perfect for breeding."

The scout said nothing. Knew the Dar'ga'nel held his life or death in every touch of his pads. The elder was calm, thoughtful and introduced pleasurable secretions. The scout felt relief go through him. The elder was pleased which meant the Peace Keeper could live. For now. Perhaps the male would be valuable to them after all.

* * * * *
end