Ducks in a Straight Row

By Jo Jo lee

Fandom: Monk

Pairing: None

Rating: G

Summary: Answer to WWOMB Improv #1 using the words drip, freaky, hooked up, duck walk, and fake

Ducks in a Straight Row
By Jo Jo lee


Sunnyvale Convalescence Home and Adult Facility for the Mentally Challenged
Counseling Office 23

"It started with a drip. I opened my eyes and saw nothing, but I heard it. Drip, drip, drip. I shut my eyes and tried to tune it out. When that didn't work, I tried to find some soothing rhythm in the continual plopping. There was nothing soothing about it, but it did have a rhythm, an annoying one. Drip, drip, drip. I gave up and opened my eyes and turned my head towards the sound. The room was dark, but light shown from a brightly lit hallway.

I could see that the hallway was decorated by a brightly painted mural with happy animals all going somewhere. It looked so fake! Whatever idiot painted it didn't get it right…baby ducks walk in a straight line. Not these baby ducks, half of them were wandering around like curious kittens. I found it more annoying than the drip, drip, drip.

I turned by head slightly to get a look at the lettering and found out that it was not one idiot, but a herd of them. The mural was signed by a lot of badly written signatures. I twisted a bit more and was informed in block prints that the signatures all belonged to
residents of Ward C. I wondered about that, but couldn't make any sense of it.

I tried to sit up to get yet a better look but I tangled myself up in some sort of hook-up. Hook-up? Damn it, I realized that I was in wrist restraints. I tried to move my legs, somebody had put ankle restraints on me, too.

I didn't know where the hell I was? I didn't remember being there before. It was some kind of hospital. I wondered how I ended up on a children's ward. I thought maybe overcrowding, but then I thought maybe I was a child. It was then I remembered I was a cop, not a child. I couldn't figure out what the hell had happened?

I laid my head back down. I wondered if I got shot or maybe I got injured? I took inventory of my body and I couldn't find any serious damage. My muscles hurt, I felt weak, but basically I was alright. I looked around for the nurse's call button and didn't see it. I started getting anxious. This was too freaky.

I looked back at the wayward ducks, maybe their mother was gone. I couldn't see any mother duck. I thought if the mother was gone, then the ducks would not have any way to know to stay in a straight line. They needed a pathway to guide them.

I tried to remember who was missing, I had the feeling that I wasn't remembering something important and then I thought, it's probably just the mother duck.

I closed my eyes and everything faded into unimportance, except for those misguided baby ducks. I needed to fix them, needed to fix them right away but I was too tired. My mind drifted and the thing that I wanted most to do was fill a pond the size of an ocean so the drips would finally stop and build a proper duck walk so the stupid ducks could walk in a straight line. Of course, sidewalks and trails did little to keep people in straight lines, but people were even stupider than ducks.

I finally was able to ignore the drips as I kept pushing the ducks into a straight line. For some reason it was terribly important that those ducks walk in a straight line, more important than any other thing. I kept pushing them back on the duck walk, kept guiding back the way they were suppose to go.

I don't remember falling asleep, I only know that I was exhausted. The ducks never understood. I don't think I understood either, I still don't."

"What don't you understand, Adrian?"

"I don't understand why I couldn't get those ducks in a straight row."

"Adrian, they weren't real."

"I'm not sure I was real either. I`m still not sure."

*****************************

Except from fist session with Adrian Monk after waking from a comatose state. See medical record 1a, p. 346 for details.

END